Anomaly Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 I've heard it said that there's no such thing as constructive criticism, but I get your point. I don't think it's impossible to correct someone online kindly, but it takes an amazing amount of effort and patience over a period of time, and probably will involve some form of regret during the course of the discussion for hurt feelings on either or both sides. Not a job for the faint hearted huh? :) Discussing anything on the web is not for the faint of heart, much less politics or religion. I've been posting on Phatmass almost since its inception in 2000. I actually came up with Preaching Holy Apostolic Truth for Phat way back when. Everybody has their unique way of presenting instruction, viewpoints, and opinion. It's very rare that anybody has ill intent, but very common for the recipient to ascribe offensive intent to others posts. It's an unpleasant human trait. We usually find what we look for and particularly easy with one dimensional communication on a phorum. If we all spoke with the same tone it certainly would be a boring monotone and probably fail as a community to speak in a manner unique individuals may need to hear. It's great that some people are the velvet and others are the fist. We do have the choice to put posters on ignore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted June 25, 2014 Author Share Posted June 25, 2014 Kindness is important no matter what. And, you can point someone to the truth, and still use kind words and phrases. Even if they say something that "bugs" you. I feel like we all missed out on a great opportunity to help someone back into the Church, and now it's gone. She may come back, but who really can tell? Again, yes, sometimes we get irritated at each other. Let's try to rise above that. Remember, there's another human being behind that screen, and you have no idea who they are, or what they are doing. In the meantime, let's be kind to the people who are here, even if they are already Catholics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 You know choosing to assent to the dictates of a religion IS A CHOICE. This is not about forcing yourself to "believe" anything. It is about making the deliberate act of the will, the commitment to believe, and to struggle if necessary. That is all we get in this life anyway, we all have to struggle to believe. How an adult chooses to label themselves is 100% A CHOICE. And I hold adults 100% responsible for that choice. I am perplexed by the suggestion that asking adults refrain from inaccurate self-labeling is something extraordinary. Or insisting that they do so is somehow "mean" or "uncharitable." This is not something extraordinary. It is decent. It is mature. It is something I demand of all decent, mature adults whether they are talking about their religion or their veganism or their veteran status or their WHATEVER. How can people advance in the spiritual life if they are choosing to live a lie? Or how can they advance even as human beings if they are choosing to live a lie? You know making a mature adult decision that you don't want to assent to a religion anymore does NOT make you a bad person. That's not a personality flaw. and it is NOT necessarily the worst thing in the world for someone's spiritual life. I have respect for people who use their God given reason to make that choice. And then are honest about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anomaly Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 In the meantime, let's be kind to the people who are here, even if they are already Catholics. there is a Private Message function to charitably discuss Catholic vs Catholic debate. It's strongly discouraged to publicly C onC debate by mgmt. Not calling you out specifically, P, your post was recent and easy to quote on my phone. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Phatmass seems to be experiencing a period where error is becoming more prevalent, or at least much louder. yuppppppp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted June 25, 2014 Author Share Posted June 25, 2014 there is a Private Message function to charitably discuss Catholic vs Catholic debate. It's strongly discouraged to publicly C onC debate by mgmt. Not calling you out specifically, P, your post was recent and easy to quote on my phone. ;) That'll teach me to write short posts. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benedictus Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 (edited) As far as I can see Nunsense was trying, in charity, to offer some input and advice. I'm actually thankful for her input, especially for trying to bring attention back to the humanity of people here. Forums allow people to be dehumanised so easily. As far as I can see Nunsense hasn't debated any doctrine or anything, so give her a break. Let's not make the thread look a show of one-upmanship. In terms of the site having people with more error- see it as an opportunity for dialogue and outreach. No point having a forum where everyone tells the other how great they are. Comfortable, but hardly outward looking in mission I'm guessing many people read, but don't post. Maybe God brings people here for you to share you views and show some love? . That other poster, now left, seemed angry and defensive. I saw what they said on the Women Veils thread post. But for a non Catholic to engage here it means they are seeking something. I happen to agree that responding to them in equal harsh measure probably wasn't the best response. I can't think of many examples where anyone would move closer to another person, or their way of thinking, after a point made as a tirade or scold. There are maybe things people wish to say, but it's the way they are said that seals how successful they are received. It's something we all make mistakes with though. Jesus, have mercy on all of us. Edited June 25, 2014 by Benedictus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Maybe there are two definitions of Catholic depending on who uses it and both have some truth to them: a true religious Catholic and the identity is strongly formed by Catholicism but who truly participate the faith Catholic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted June 25, 2014 Author Share Posted June 25, 2014 As far as I can see Nunsense was trying, in charity, to offer some input and advice. I'm actually thankful for her input, especially for trying to bring attention back to the humanity of people here. Forums allow people to be dehumanised so easily. As far as I can see Nunsense hasn't debated any doctrine or anything, so give her a break. The expression "more Catholic than the Pope" tends to be inflammatory. It is not a a good phrase to use if one is exhorting others to be kind and charitable. That is my input and advice which I am offering in charity. I agree that dehumanization is a constant danger in forum discussion. Another is the tendency to attribute good motives to people we agree with and bad motives to people we disagree with. As Anomaly pointed out, almost everyone who posts has good motives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Maybe there are two definitions of Catholic depending on who uses it and both have some truth to them: a true religious Catholic and the identity is strongly formed by Catholicism but who truly participate the faith Catholic nope. appropriation is wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted June 25, 2014 Author Share Posted June 25, 2014 So Anomaly's recent post has me wondering if this thread is violating the phorum rule about Catholic vs Catholic Debate: A post or comment that results in doctrinal debates that might cause scandal among the faithful. *Effective immediately, any negative criticism of religious or the current Magisterium will result in deletion, and a warning from the moderators. This includes but is not limited to criticism of the Novus Ordo mass and/or our Holy Father. I did not think that my question broke that rule, but I have not been here very long and might not have understood it properly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benedictus Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 (edited) So Anomaly's recent post has me wondering if this thread is violating the phorum rule about Catholic vs Catholic Debate: A post or comment that results in doctrinal debates that might cause scandal among the faithful. *Effective immediately, any negative criticism of religious or the current Magisterium will result in deletion, and a warning from the moderators. This includes but is not limited to criticism of the Novus Ordo mass and/or our Holy Father. I did not think that my question broke that rule, but I have not been here very long and might not have understood it properly. My readiing of that is you aren't in breach. You aren't being critical of any religious (as in a religious institute, order or member) or the Magisterium. Secondly, the points at hand aren't exactly causing a scandal (in that nothing said is a secret, gossip, breach of trust, or unconfirmed speculation). Although, in my opinion, that rule is a bit rigid as there maybe good reasons to discuss certain things about religious orders, its members (current or past) and the Magisterium. Edited June 25, 2014 by Benedictus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selah Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 In the meantime, let's be kind to the people who are here, even if they are already Catholics. Or even if they are not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nihil Obstat Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Or even if they are not. What if they are Maronites? :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selah Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 What if they are Maronites? :| Then you must show kindness and compassion In Syriac. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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