I Feel Like Job

[Mr Cameron]

I hope this is the right subforum.

 

So the title sums it up. I feel as though I have lost everything, and for whatever reason, God feels far away. Is it a test? Does this happen to test my faith? I haven't lost faith in God. I find it hard to pray, hard to meditate upon anything holy, and even the Rosary has been set aside for a few weeks.

 

What do I do?

[Mr Cameron]

Oh em gee this is supposed to be in Transmundane Lane....

[Credo in Deum]

Well if you feel like Job, then I would recommend reading Job.  

[AnneLine]

Mr. Cameron, I'll pray for you... and I bet so will the VSers..... if you want this moved to Transmundane, report your own post, and ask the Mods to move it.  :pray: ;)  :hug: 

[inperpetuity]

Pray anyway.  God allows this so that we become less attached to His gifts (consolations, feelings of devotion) and more attached to HIm.  It hurts.  :pray:

[Catherine Therese]

I feel as though I have lost everything, and for whatever reason, God feels far away. Is it a test? Does this happen to test my faith? I haven't lost faith in God. I find it hard to pray, hard to meditate upon anything holy, and even the Rosary has been set aside for a few weeks.

 

What do I do?

 

It's unlikely to be a test in the sense of "lets see if he's still faithful if I hide from him for a while" I don't think. Although with the Job comparison and the way that book begins, I can see why it might feel a little that way. That was more a literary device than something I think we're supposed to take on board as indicative of "how God thinks" - after all, the workings of God's intellect are a mystery far beyond any of us! 

 

What you are going through is more likely a training exercise of sorts for your soul... to mend it, really. 

There isn't a painless way to set a broken arm. Likewise with the soul. 

 

Here is a link to some mp3 audio files of a Carmelite priest in Australia giving some talks that are heavily influenced by St. John of the Cross' approach to dryness/suffering in light of the reality of what it is to be human... but it is simplified and made very accessible so you needn't fear it is too intense. I hope the talks give you both insight and perhaps some peace. 

Edited June 8, 2014 by Catherine Therese

[BarbTherese]

I think of aridity when God seems absent all the way, not as a test but a time when Faith is strengthened.  It is easy to believe in God when all is roses, sunshine and consolations - not so easy when all that vanishes.  Once Faith grasps and internalizes that God is no less present and immediate in every sense, every bit as Glorious and Wondrous, Loving and Merciful at all times despite one's feelings - and no matter how one feels, then Faith in times of aridity is not so difficult.  It is when I rely on my feelings to inform my Faith that aridity can be very hard yakka spiritually.

 

What I have done is set myself a routine of prayer for the difficult times, which is not as demanding as when one is cruising happily on one's journey and prayer is one's delight and consolation.  And if perchance I abandon even my routine for difficult times out of sheer weakness, I don't kick myself all over the place putting emphasis on myself in the scheme of things - but resign myself to The Loving Mercy of God with praise and gratitude shining a light on and putting central The Loving Compassionate Mercy of The Lord, mention my weakness and failure in Confession, and then pick up my less demanding routine again .........until the sun beings to shine again........and it always does but never set a time limit on aridity's length nor on times of consolation for that matter.  An approach to holiness is probably to praise and thank God equally in both with a sort of holy indifference nor a distinct preference for either, knowing that God indeed always does know what is best and is leading one to holiness.  We are never ever tried nor tempted beyond our means.  Of course, most often I do have a preference for consolation - it's not only human, it illustrates how far I still have to go in the journey to holiness and Unity.

 

Nothing like weakness and failure to remind one of one's status as sinner - who one really is: Psalm 24 "16] For a just man shall fall seven times and shall rise again " (Seven in the Bible is a very important number and stands for completeness or perfection - in other words, even a just person shall be complete and perfect in falls and failure).  The nun who taught me in college said that it is not the nature nor number of fall or failure, it is how long it takes to pick oneself up, repent, and go on as if nothing at all had happened"

[BarbTherese]

It's unlikely to be a test in the sense of "lets see if he's still faithful if I hide from him for a while" I don't think. Although with the Job comparison and the way that book begins, I can see why it might feel a little that way. That was more a literary device than something I think we're supposed to take on board as indicative of "how God thinks" - after all, the workings of God's intellect are a mystery far beyond any of us! 

 

What you are going through is more likely a training exercise of sorts for your soul... to mend it, really. 

There isn't a painless way to set a broken arm. Likewise with the soul. 

 

Here is a link to some mp3 audio files of a Carmelite priest in Australia giving some talks that are heavily influenced by St. John of the Cross' approach to dryness/suffering in light of the reality of what it is to be human... but it is simplified and made very accessible so you needn't fear it is too intense. I hope the talks give you both insight and perhaps some peace. 

 

Listened to half of the first talk.  Thank you very much, CT, for posting the link - more than worthwhile hearing to date!

[BarbTherese]

I am now two thirds into the second talk - it really is easy to listen to in ordinary everyday language.  What Father seems to be doing is breaking down St John of The Cross (16th century priest and religious and in that environment and milieu) into language we can understand quite easily in our own experience - and I suspect at this point. all or most of it - and in our language and terms today, some 400 years later.

I am tempted to call in sick for work tomorrow in order to finish listening! :)

I do hope that Mr Cameron will listen to it and yes, find insight and Peace and a way forward through his experience now.

Prayer

[Catherine Therese]

I'm glad that you're enjoying the talks! :) Fr Greg is pretty amazing. I've been on few retreats led by him over the years - he always has something to say that, if one is receptive to being challenged just a little bit, creates room in one's heart to allow God in and enable growth. 

[BarbTherese]

Hi CT - Father Greg certainly sounds pretty amazing and keeps it all nice and simple and easy listening and what could be complex, he breaks down into the very simple and a real gift.  I really liked the way he responded to the person that said her humanity was about negativity - and he agreed with her and said it was an excellent statement - and then led from that concept into one's desires both negative and positive - and of course, very much the thought of John of The Cross.  I marvelled at his affirmation of another and his skill in taking what she said (though unanticipated by him) to lead it into what he wanted to talk about i.e. desires.  He won me well and truly at that point.  I have listened to two recordings now, don't know if I will get to one tonight - and tomorrow I have been asked to work another shift, so tomorrow is pretty well out.  But I will be listening to all of them and can hardly wait to have the time to do so.  Are any of his other talks available online anywhere either to listen to or to read?

I am in South Australia incidentally just a few suburbs out of the CBD (north east way).

 

Plenty of room to be challenged here - sometimes open to it............other times, most reluctant with heels dug in. :)  But I love those very short sentences that can occur either speaking to someone, listening or reading that suddenly make one sit up and take mental notes with a sense of boundless light and revelation.  When the pieces of a puzzle one hardly knew was in progress, suddenly fall into place and make real sense for the first time.  I think we probably all have different ways of expressing and even experiencing such moments.

 

__________________________

I am wondering how you are Mr Cameron and if this thread has been helpful to you?  Keeping you and your intentions in prayer.

 

 

 

[BarbTherese]

I hope this is the right subforum.

 

So the title sums it up. I feel as though I have lost everything, and for whatever reason, God feels far away. Is it a test? Does this happen to test my faith? I haven't lost faith in God. I find it hard to pray, hard to meditate upon anything holy, and even the Rosary has been set aside for a few weeks.

 

What do I do?

 

 

Hi Mr Cameron,

What you are experiencing is known as "aridity" in Catholic spiritual writing.  Aridity can have basically two causes.  It can originate in God and is something very positive in one's prayer and spiritual life although it certainly does not feel that way.  It could also have quite negative causes often arising from the self which need to be addressed.  Certainly, in spiritual difficulty (which aridity is) the very best way forward is to speak with a spiritual director i.e. a priest, religious or lay person who is a trained spiritual director.  Sometimes, however, some are unable to locate a spiritual director for some reason and then certainly sound Catholic articles, books etc. can be quite helpful.

 

Here are two articles that you might find helpful.  Neither are terribly long, nor are they complex, although the EWTN article is a little longer and somewhat more complex than that from the CSD website - both are worth a read.

 

 

"Aridity" - EWTN Father William Most https://www.ewtn.com/library/SCRIPTUR/ARIDITY.TXT

 

Catholic Spiritual Direction website (sound Catholic resource) "What to do when the well runs dry" (Part I and II) http://spiritualdirection.com/blog/2014/06/02/well-runs-dry-part-ii-of-ii

 

 

I am hoping and praying there might be some things helpful to you in this thread and that you will find a way through and forward from where you were when you first posted.

 

Any questions etc...........just fire away!  I know Phatmass members will be very helpful.
 

[cartermia]

Mr. C!!! Your title really confused me for a bit. I read I feel like a job, as in work. Follow everyone's advice above them seemed to have covered just about everything!