Annie12 Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Hey everyone, I have been off of Phatmass for 2 months. But, I am back because I am having issues. I have lost most of my zeal. And, my prayer life is very pathetic. I'm starting to question things I never have before. Worst of all I have started pushing people away. I don't know how I can possibly muster up the strength to get through this. I just feel like I am drifting away and I want to go back to where I was. I don't know how this happened. I use to say the rosary every day. Sometimes, I would say it twice a day. Now, I only can muster up a pathetic night time prayer and grace before meals. There really is no reason for this to be happening. The only thing I can think of is it possibly being related to my internal brokenness. I am losing hope that I will ever come out of this. It has been going on for a month now. Please, offer your (helpful) advice and prayers. I Probably need your prayers more than your advice though... :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Credo in Deum Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Hello Annie, The first thing I would do is try to not be amazed at your current situation. We are fallen creatures, weak and in need of a little shake up in order to grow; especially when it comes to growing in love and devotion to God. Rest assured that Christ is close to you now more than ever. He is waiting for you to open your heart and let Him walk with you in this spiritually dry desert. If you find yourself feeling unable to pray than let your prayer be your desire to pray. Be honest with Him and tell Him you hate the dryness, but that you want to grow in your love for Him. Make acts of faith, hope, and charity asking to grow also in your trust that He knows what He's doing and that He will never abandon you. Sometimes children will feel unloved by their parents when the reality is not only are they loved, but that they are loved with an incomprehensible love which transcends feelings. I will keep you in my prayers, and ask if you could do the same for me. May God bless you and keep you, Annie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Honestly, I really suggest you go to counseling -- not because I think you're crazy or are that fallen, but because it will help you sort through this stuff and learn things about yourself you didn't know or realize before. I went to counseling, and there are many other well-respected people on this site who have gone and possibly still go. It's not for crazy or broken people, it's for smart people who realize they need help (As we all do) and know where to get it. Even something so simple as asking a priest to have a meeting with you for a few hours to discuss everything and ask for his advice would do you wonders. Sometimes this option is even more effective than counselors, in fact. You've had many threads like this on here, and there's not one thing any person on here can do for you. We don't know you, and we can't help you. Find a priest or counselor at your college who can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 Welcome to the club. We've all been there, even John Paul II and Mothey Theresa talked about going through stuff like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 I don't have advice but I can tell you that I am broken and struggling too. I'll pray for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fidei Defensor Posted June 3, 2014 Share Posted June 3, 2014 You have my prayers :amen: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Have you ever had depression before? Are there other things in your life that have changed to cause you to feel this way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Didacus Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 CrossCut... I feel much that same as you. I went to the sacrament of pardon last weekend, it helped. Maybe you can try it? Might loosen up something. I don't know, just saying. Sometimes there just isn't any easy answer. Prayers... :pope2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted June 4, 2014 Author Share Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) Honestly, I really suggest you go to counseling -- not because I think you're crazy or are that fallen, but because it will help you sort through this stuff and learn things about yourself you didn't know or realize before. I went to counseling, and there are many other well-respected people on this site who have gone and possibly still go. It's not for crazy or broken people, it's for smart people who realize they need help (As we all do) and know where to get it. Even something so simple as asking a priest to have a meeting with you for a few hours to discuss everything and ask for his advice would do you wonders. Sometimes this option is even more effective than counselors, in fact. You've had many threads like this on here, and there's not one thing any person on here can do for you. We don't know you, and we can't help you. Find a priest or counselor at your college who can. I know many of you have started to write me off because of these types of posts. But, in all sincerity, no one ever really tries to help (there are a few exceptions). I know it is much easier to write me off but I think I would benefit more from your prayers than your suggestion for me to get to counseling. This is a spiritual battle I am dealing with; not a mental one. I need prayers or if you have other ways that you could be helpful that would be nice too. I only ask for advice because I doubt that I am the only one here who has experienced doubts or aridity or whatever. I know you are just trying to help by this reply but it is effectively sweeping my post under the rug. :paperbag: Edited June 4, 2014 by Annie12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mortify ii Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Yes, sounds like depression, especially if no apparent cause. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mortify ii Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 I know many of you have started to write me off because of these types of posts. But, in all sincerity, no one ever really tries to help (there are a few exceptions). I know it is much easier to write me off but I think I would benefit more from your prayers than your suggestion for me to get to counseling. This is a spiritual battle I am dealing with; not a mental one. I need prayers or if you have other ways that you could be helpful that would be nice too. I only ask for advice because I doubt that I am the only one here who has experienced doubts or aridity or whatever. I know you are just trying to help by this reply but it is effectively sweeping my post under the rug. :paperbag: If it's spiritual I would suggest two things, focusing on mental prayer over other forms of prayer, and praying a novena to St Benedict for protection from malevolent forces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted June 4, 2014 Author Share Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) I think part of these doubts arise from the people in the church. I know its dumb but I don't like how judgmental people can be. I know its what real life is but its making me loose faith in people in the church. And I know "welcome to the club". I just have become upset with people and the way they don't care. I begun to lose hope that I will do Gods will because of how many stupid things I do. I guess I am just upset at the Human Condition. It is obviously something I can not change but I am just struggling with it. I need prayers. Thank you all who are praying for me. I appreciate it greatly. And just so I am clear, I am not depressed. Like, at all.... I am just fed up for lack of better words. I know that I should just hold on because it will end but still. Edited June 4, 2014 by Annie12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 (edited) I know many of you have started to write me off because of these types of posts. But, in all sincerity, no one ever really tries to help (there are a few exceptions). I know it is much easier to write me off but I think I would benefit more from your prayers than your suggestion for me to get to counseling. This is a spiritual battle I am dealing with; not a mental one. I need prayers or if you have other ways that you could be helpful that would be nice too. I only ask for advice because I doubt that I am the only one here who has experienced doubts or aridity or whatever. I know you are just trying to help by this reply but it is effectively sweeping my post under the rug. :paperbag: I haven't written you off. I didn't suggest counseling based off spiritual dryness, but based off the threads you've made in the past. You could really benefit from some counsel either from a school counselor (which is generally free, mind you) or your local parish priest (which also happens to be free). If it feels like I'm "sweeping your post under the rug", it's because, quite frankly, there's literally nothing we can do to help you other than pray, and keep telling you over and over again to see a priest or school counselor. There's nothing we can tell you that will somehow fix all the problems in your life. I sincerely wish there was, but there's not. I don't mean for the above to seem harsh, but I do intend for it to be firm. You keep making threads like this, and you keep coming back and writing more. Why? Because we can't help you. There's nothing we can offer this time that we didn't offer the last. How do you know you aren't suffering from something serious like depression? Many people (myself included, though that doesn't mean much other than force of numbers) agree that you are coming across as possibly having it. If so, there's nothing we can offer you. If not, there's still nothing new we can say that we haven't already said before. You need to see a professional who can actually help you, not strangers on an internet forum. Edited June 4, 2014 by FuturePriest387 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie12 Posted June 4, 2014 Author Share Posted June 4, 2014 I would go into depth about how I don't have depression. But, because I want to remain as anonymous as possible I won't. I want everyone here to realize that I take the internet at face value. I don't think it can solve all my problems but if I am able to communicate with others who have experienced similar things. It would be of some use. And, for those who can't relate, I ask for prayers because it is true that I can't be helped by you all. I think I will stop commenting on this post now. I probably won't be back on Phatmass for a long time if ever. I actually completely forgot about the forum until today when I stopped by to see how things were and then I thought that I could write this post in hopes of some positive feedback. I am also a full grown adult. I don't need "firm" instructions. I need people who care. On a positive note: FuturePreist: I like your profile picture :joecool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 I would go into depth about how I don't have depression. But, because I want to remain as anonymous as possible I won't. I want everyone here to realize that I take the internet at face value. I don't think it can solve all my problems but if I am able to communicate with others who have experienced similar things. It would be of some use. And, for those who can't relate, I ask for prayers because it is true that I can't be helped by you all. I think I will stop commenting on this post now. I probably won't be back on Phatmass for a long time if ever. I actually completely forgot about the forum until today when I stopped by to see how things were and then I thought that I could write this post in hopes of some positive feedback. I am also a full grown adult. I don't need "firm" instructions. I need people who care. On a positive note: FuturePreist: I like your profile picture :joecool: Well, I'm sorry to hear that. But know that I do care. If I didn't care, I wouldn't have posted. Plain and simple. I have many other things going on that I could be doing instead, but I sincerely want to see you do well and get better. And thanks. It's my favorite of Saint John Paul II. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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