Golden Years Posted May 27, 2014 Share Posted May 27, 2014 Hi everyone. I know I haven’t been around much but I have a good excuse .... I am taking the big plunge and in four days we are moving to Clear Creek (five miles from the Abbey) in a rural area north of Hulbert, Oklahoma. It’s been a long time coming and I can’t quite believe it’s really happening. :shock: Oklahoma holds no particular charm for me (at least not yet!) but the Abbey is definitely something special. Visiting there last August made me realize just how special and I felt very strongly that I belonged there. I have been extremely blessed to have a good spiritual director there as well who consistently encourages me to pursue my vocational goals. I will be stopping for a visit at the Carmel of Santa Fe on the way to meet with the Prioress. She said there are many, many older women who contact them searching for a monastery that will take them and she encouraged me to explore the idea of a new community, so maybe it really is possible. Once we get settled, I hope to find out exactly what it is God has in mind, perhaps to begin a new community for older women, perhaps to live as a Benedictine oblate or Diocesan hermit, I’m not sure. But one thing is for sure and that is that God wants us there, or this wouldn’t be happening. It’s been a struggle for me to uproot myself and quit a secure job in exchange for an uncertain future in an isolated area, but we have a house to rent waiting for us and an employment agency who interviewed me online and sent my resume around, so I am confident that everything will soon fall into place. I may not be on PM much for a while until things get settled, but wanted to ask for your prayers for a safe trip and especially for my son that he will get the help he needs in obtaining housing, making friends, etc. and that I will find a good job. And that I won’t get lost driving those winding gravel roads! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inperpetuity Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Wow, Golden Years that's great that you'll be on your way soon. Great too that your sd is supporting your vocational goals and that you may have found work. Prayers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marigold Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 How exciting for you! And a little bit scary :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 My nephew lived in Hulbert for years. His mom's grandmother had a farm there, and when his parents divorced, she got custody. That's in part of the prettier part of Oklahoma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Congratulations. The Lord is good! Praying that everything goes well........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Years Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 Thanks everyone! I will keep you posted. Oh and our pastor distributed blessed St. Peter Martyr branches last weekend after Mass -- apparently you bury them in the four corners of your property for protection against storms. Which makes my tornado-phobia problem feel a whole lot better! :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 Peter Martyr branches??? You must be somewhere in Dominican Land...... :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintalis Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Golden Years, Interesting that you mention the Carmelites in Santa Fe. I have yet to hear back from them. I wrote them back in March. I remember you telling me it took them 6 months to write back to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Years Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 It's been almost one month since we arrived and I am finally able to post. The first two weeks I was too exhausted to do anything other than sleep, unpack and try to get my bearings. I also had to learn not freak out every time I saw a red wasp and to remember to spray "Deep Woods Off!" on myself every time I walked out the door. Then Daniel stepped on his laptop and that took another week and a half to fix. The trip down was stressful (rained all through Wyoming, got lost in Denver and Santa Fe, fought 50 mph cross winds through the Texas panhandle). Adjusting to the hotter, very humid climate wasn't easy either. But thanks to OnStar and God's grace and the prayers of others, we made it here in one piece. However, my meeting with the Prioress in Santa Fe didn't happen. It was very weird. I knew I had to leave Denver by 7:00 am to make it in time for our appointment at 1:00 (the only time she could meet me). I've always been very punctual and got up early but somehow, the next thing I knew it was ten til 7:00 and I hadn't gotten my son up yet. Then we had to gas up and then we got lost in Santa Fe, so by the time we got to the motel it was already 1:45. Nothing could have shouted "not meant to be" more strongly. A disappointment for us both as she said in her voicemail later that she had been looking forward to our meeting very much. Alas. The first two weeks here were also full of appointments with medical and Medicaid people for my son. So many obstacles and difficulties, so many battles to be fought in order to get my son's medication. I could (and may yet) write a book on the sorry state of mental health care in this country for the poor. It's atrocious. At any rate. In the midst of all this angst and suffering the Abbey rises up out of the Ozarks like the Emerald City (but tan brick, not green). Mass and the Office are unfailingly wonderful and peaceful and my soul's anchor as it floats between the Purgatory of Earth and the glories of Heaven just beyond the Communion rail. It was a wonderful goal to aspire to, this trip to Paradise enclosed in a cloister of thick jungle-like forest bloated with vines and insects and wildlife of every shape and color, but like other such journeys I have taken it comes with a price and the grace is more elusive this time, not as readily apparent as in the past when I struck out on journeys to seek God's will and particular presence. I do not know what it all means yet but it is a healthy reminder to me that in fact there is so very much I do not know. Moving to Oklahoma was I thought a personal choice made in response to God's call but it has evolved into a pilgrimage, something I never really aspired to or intended. In my day to day quest for survival among the bugs, government red tape and the limitations of my physical, mental and spiritual strength, God is challenging me to grow in ways I didn't realize I needed to. I have learned that when faced with physical and mental exhaustion, my prayer life goes pretty much out the window and that is when one's life becomes a prayer (or not) and one is faced with the reality of one's limitations, which is quite humbling. But then, when there is a moment of grace, it takes on a truly miraculous quality and I know that is what God is trying to convey to me -- that long time spent in utter darkness and then suddenly this finger of light emerges and you would think all of Heaven was there in one tiny spark. That small things matter. That one doesn't have to see visions or hear choirs in order to experience God. That even our smallest actions and prayers can have a wonderful effect against the deep darkness of this fallen world. Pax Dominus sit semper nobiscum. Nine days 'til the Feast of Saint Benedict. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Years Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 Peter Martyr branches??? You must be somewhere in Dominican Land...... :) No, but my former pastor Fr. Ryan Erlenbush has connections all over the world, I think! :priest: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Missed your post somehow.......anyway, so pleased it has happened in spite of the struggles. I am sure the Lord will bring you many graces. I have learned that when faced with physical and mental exhaustion, my prayer life goes pretty much out the window and that is when one's life becomes a prayer (or not) and one is faced with the reality of one's limitations, which is quite humbling. I have been in this place myself recently and it is a wonderful re-discovery for me, when all I am capable of is to just 'be' in that moment, sometimes there has been more of a sense of immanence than one would have imagined. My therapist taught me to say 'Lord I am here breathing' in those times...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted July 4, 2014 Share Posted July 4, 2014 Praying for you. In a stressful time like this, be sure you are taking time for yourself as you can. Read a book or go for a short walk.... eat the best stuff you can get your hands on... and rest the best way you can. Be gentle with yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandelynmarie Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 (edited) Missed your post somehow.......anyway, so pleased it has happened in spite of the struggles. I am sure the Lord will bring you many graces. I have been in this place myself recently and it is a wonderful re-discovery for me, when all I am capable of is to just 'be' in that moment, sometimes there has been more of a sense of immanence than one would have imagined. My therapist taught me to say 'Lord I am here breathing' in those times......"Lord, I am here breathing..." I'm keeping this prayer! :saint2: Edited July 5, 2014 by brandelynmarie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Immanuel Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 Oh, so am I. Thanks Max Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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