A Schedule For Discernment

[AugustineA]

Given I have some student debt I have to pay off, and it may take a while, do you recommend contacting a spiritual director earlier or later? It will probably take a few years on my current budget. Also, is it difficult for Canadians to discern with communities in the US or internationally? 

 

God bless 

[NotreDame]

Given I have some student debt I have to pay off, and it may take a while, do you recommend contacting a spiritual director earlier or later? It will probably take a few years on my current budget. Also, is it difficult for Canadians to discern with communities in the US or internationally? 

 

God bless 

 

Although it's a popular conception, SD is about more than just discerning your vocation in life, so my advice is to immediately start praying for and looking for an SD - but be very discerning about who you choose.  Sometimes the most eager SD's are the least qualified and a poor SD can be dangerous, so take your time choosing the right one.

 

Should be very easy for a Canadian to discern w/ US communities.  Not sure how it works for postulants, but I know it's easy for Canadians to get a visa for a Novitiate year.  Did you have any special concerns?
 

[Spem in alium]

I'd agree with what has been said above. I started having spiritual direction about five months after I began discerning - and I not only had debt at that time, but was also across the other side of the world. :) I have had direction since that time, and it has really helped me not only in terms of my discernment, but also in my prayer life and relationships with others and God. So I would definitely begin sooner rather than later. And definitely discern your choice of a Spiritual Director. Don't just go with anyone. They need to be a good fit for you, just as you need to be a good fit for them.

 

Speaking about this from an Aussie perspective, I don't see why discerning with an international community would be a problem. Visiting regularly may be difficult, but visas and other paperwork would likely be fairly manageable if you put enough time into it. 

 

[marigold]

Yes, I'd agree that it's very important to have a spiritual director (and/or regular confessor) whether or not you end up seriously considering the priesthood/religious life. A word of warning though, that might fall on deaf ears but it's worth saying anyway - please, for the sake of your own soul, don't hurry into serious discernment when you're still very new in the Church.

 

I wish you all the very best, and see good in what I've read of you on here, knowing how exciting and inspiring it is to consider these things, but it gives me a bellyache to see people enthusing about what they are going to do before they've been in the Church at least ~5 years. A few too many times I've seen people rush in, undeterred by anything, and lose friends, family, even the faith when the zeal wears off. Take it from one who learnt it the hard way - thanks be to God, I emerged with my soul mostly intact (and some sort of monastic call, apparently) but left a trail of ruined friendships and alienated family in my wake.

 

If someone had said that to me the very first time around, I probably would have nodded serenely and already moved on in my head. But nowadays I see it as a sort of duty to be that 'one voice' urging caution, even if it doesn't do any good at the time. God isn't outdone in generosity; he won't retract an invitation to spend your life for him, but I would stake my life on the belief that he won't have us run before we can walk.

[NotreDame]

Yes, I'd agree that it's very important to have a spiritual director (and/or regular confessor) whether or not you end up seriously considering the priesthood/religious life. A word of warning though, that might fall on deaf ears but it's worth saying anyway - please, for the sake of your own soul, don't hurry into serious discernment when you're still very new in the Church.

 

This ^^^ is a good point.  If one is new to the Church (or had a recent conversion of heart) they should rush into spiritual direction, but not into discernment.  I liked the way the following article touched on this:

 

http://www.wordonfire.org/WoF-Blog/WoF-Blog/April-2014/The-Vocation-to-Furious-Love.aspx

 

Your discernment of God’s calling isn’t like an Easter egg hunt, where you’re searching for some secretly hidden answer located outside you, but rather it’s the discovery of what God has already planted within you, into your unique history of pain and joy, into your personality.

And don’t look for the ‘easy way’ since the love God demands will always be sacrificial. It will always be more about others than about you, since vocation isn’t first of all about your personal fulfillment but about serving God and serving neighbor.

First, you have to live your faith out now and get some history to it—it’s so new for you! And as you continue on, look around at the needs out there that present themselves, look within your soul and come to know what gifts you have to offer; listen to your heart’s movements as you pray and share these all with a trusted guide.

Once you do come clear where you are being led, then, as best you can, freely say yes. Then you will start pushing the plow without looking back. But remember, you have a long way to go; you must work hard on getting your life in order now, a life put together in the light of faith; and you need to practice this in the real world for a few years before you can think of discerning a life’s vocation. Build the foundations first before you try to build the castle."

 

 

[AugustineA]

Although it's a popular conception, SD is about more than just discerning your vocation in life, so my advice is to immediately start praying for and looking for an SD - but be very discerning about who you choose.  Sometimes the most eager SD's are the least qualified and a poor SD can be dangerous, so take your time choosing the right one.

 

Should be very easy for a Canadian to discern w/ US communities.  Not sure how it works for postulants, but I know it's easy for Canadians to get a visa for a Novitiate year.  Did you have any special concerns?
 

 

I'm not sure where to begin to be honest. I suppose the diocese website. I have gone been on their vocations section before but didn't see anything about spiritual direction. Personally, my only concern is actually getting to a point where I can successfully enter  religious life. I have faith that God will direct me if that is his plan, and in the mean time I work work my hardest at it. The situation with the Franciscans of the Immaculate is very troubling,  and it seems more odious every week. They were my object, my goal, having a charism for poverty, a striving to be Christlike, and a great love for the traditional Mass. I'm praying for them. I hope others do too. :)

 

 

I'd agree with what has been said above. I started having spiritual direction about five months after I began discerning - and I not only had debt at that time, but was also across the other side of the world. :) I have had direction since that time, and it has really helped me not only in terms of my discernment, but also in my prayer life and relationships with others and God. So I would definitely begin sooner rather than later. And definitely discern your choice of a Spiritual Director. Don't just go with anyone. They need to be a good fit for you, just as you need to be a good fit for them.

 

Speaking about this from an Aussie perspective, I don't see why discerning with an international community would be a problem. Visiting regularly may be difficult, but visas and other paperwork would likely be fairly manageable if you put enough time into it. 

 

 

It's good to know that Spiritual direction is beneficial, even possible while travelling. I may be taking a trip out of the country for some time soon. Do you have any recommendations for discerning your spiritual director? I don't want to be rude--is it usually scheduled around interviews or meetings? What sort of things do you talk about? 

 

Yes, I'd agree that it's very important to have a spiritual director (and/or regular confessor) whether or not you end up seriously considering the priesthood/religious life. A word of warning though, that might fall on deaf ears but it's worth saying anyway - please, for the sake of your own soul, don't hurry into serious discernment when you're still very new in the Church.

 

I wish you all the very best, and see good in what I've read of you on here, knowing how exciting and inspiring it is to consider these things, but it gives me a bellyache to see people enthusing about what they are going to do before they've been in the Church at least ~5 years. A few too many times I've seen people rush in, undeterred by anything, and lose friends, family, even the faith when the zeal wears off. Take it from one who learnt it the hard way - thanks be to God, I emerged with my soul mostly intact (and some sort of monastic call, apparently) but left a trail of ruined friendships and alienated family in my wake.

 

If someone had said that to me the very first time around, I probably would have nodded serenely and already moved on in my head. But nowadays I see it as a sort of duty to be that 'one voice' urging caution, even if it doesn't do any good at the time. God isn't outdone in generosity; he won't retract an invitation to spend your life for him, but I would stake my life on the belief that he won't have us run before we can walk.

 

Thank you Marigold. No, I take what you're saying to heart. They mirror what I've already suspected when I'm lost in thought about religious life. As a result, I haven't told my family, friends, or coworkers. It is singularly my own dream. I'm coming up on my fifth year in the Church. I had a brief period in the past four years were I underwent my period of luke-warmness, studied my Jewish roots. Even then, when my Catholic faith felt like a quickly thinning string, I had this internal voice reminding me of my baptism. It's been some time since I had the zeal of a convert, probably 2 years coming up to my baptism and a year in, but perhaps sometimes I still give that impression. 

 

This ^^^ is a good point.  If one is new to the Church (or had a recent conversion of heart) they should rush into spiritual direction, but not into discernment.  I liked the way the following article touched on this:

 

http://www.wordonfire.org/WoF-Blog/WoF-Blog/April-2014/The-Vocation-to-Furious-Love.aspx

 

My breakfast is getting cold so I'm going to read this in a bit.  :pinch:

[veritasluxmea]

If you were interested in the Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate, I'd recommend checking out the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal in New York. They also have a presence in England, I think. They're very similar and have a great Franciscan charism with a focus on poverty and simplicity. 

[AugustineA]

I'm very much a man haha.. 

[veritasluxmea]

I'm very much a man haha.. 

:rotfl2: Ha ha my bad! Well they do have a male branch, Franciscan Friars of the Renewal. 

[AugustineA]

haha it's all good. I will check them out. :) Thank you 

[Fidei Defensor]

Prayers for you and your journey!

[Spem in alium]

It's good to know that Spiritual direction is beneficial, even possible while travelling. I may be taking a trip out of the country for some time soon. Do you have any recommendations for discerning your spiritual director? I don't want to be rude--is it usually scheduled around interviews or meetings? What sort of things do you talk about? 

Not rude at all! I was lucky - I was studying overseas at a college attached to a Benedictine monastery, and the Sisters there offered individual direction and eventually a week-long directed retreat. When I was overseas, we would meet once a month and discuss many things - my family back home, my life to date, my spirituality and discernment, and so on. My director back home, who is also a Benedictine Sister, follows a similar structure, but our discussions are most often about spirituality and discernment. 
I worked out that I was with the right director after meeting with them a few times - I could tell fairly quickly if they were a good fit for me. I was clear about what I wanted to get out of direction, and I felt like they have both helped me meet that - and for that, I give thanks! :)

[NotreDame]

I'm not sure where to begin to be honest. I suppose the diocese website. I have gone been on their vocations section before but didn't see anything about spiritual direction. Personally, my only concern is actually getting to a point where I can successfully enter  religious life.

 

I don't know much about your situation, but it seems a little early on for you to be so dead-set on a vocation and especially a specific order. 

 

As for finding an SD, why don't you speak to some of the priests saying the Latin masses you attend?  Ask them where they'd recommend finding an SD. 

[marigold]

I still think it's a bad idea to make choices to get a certain outcome (different from making choices so you can follow possibilities you are interested in). Either you'll not get what you want and risk bitterness, or you WILL get what you want and risk grave spiritual fallout. I've had both.

"The best preparation for religious life is a God-pleasing life in the world."

It's not your job to try and successfully enter religious life. It's your job to love God and your neighbour so you win eternal life. By all means, do that by e.g. volunteering with friars - but get it out of dreamland and into your life.

Edited May 27, 2014 by marigold

[AugustineA]

Not rude at all! I was lucky - I was studying overseas at a college attached to a Benedictine monastery, and the Sisters there offered individual direction and eventually a week-long directed retreat. When I was overseas, we would meet once a month and discuss many things - my family back home, my life to date, my spirituality and discernment, and so on. My director back home, who is also a Benedictine Sister, follows a similar structure, but our discussions are most often about spirituality and discernment. 
I worked out that I was with the right director after meeting with them a few times - I could tell fairly quickly if they were a good fit for me. I was clear about what I wanted to get out of direction, and I felt like they have both helped me meet that - and for that, I give thanks! :)

 

oh okay, cool. How did you meet once a month while overseas? That's alot of flying about. 

 

I don't know much about your situation, but it seems a little early on for you to be so dead-set on a vocation and especially a specific order. 

 

As for finding an SD, why don't you speak to some of the priests saying the Latin masses you attend?  Ask them where they'd recommend finding an SD. 

 

Really? I thought five years was pretty good. Double that and you've got a decade and I'll be thirty. We have posters and all sorts of vocation type stuff plastered around the parish. I'll check in with them, though I'm sure they're heavily biased towards the FSSP, lol.

 

By the way, I'm not set on the idea of religious life as in I must have it or I am not complete. That would be wrong of me. Idealizing religious life, in my mind, springs from an unhealthy attachment and even idolatry as a way of life that completes us rather than Christ.

 

It is something I've been considering for years now though. I'm already keeping a prayer rule, trying to live at least more humbly than I did before, and lift up my responsibilities to God. I've been doing it for a long time. 

 

I still think it's a bad idea to make choices to get a certain outcome (different from making choices so you can follow possibilities you are interested in). Either you'll not get what you want and risk bitterness, or you WILL get what you want and risk grave spiritual fallout. I've had both.

"The best preparation for religious life is a God-pleasing life in the world."

It's not your job to try and successfully enter religious life. It's your job to love God and your neighbour so you win eternal life. By all means, do that by e.g. volunteering with friars - but get it out of dreamland and into your life.

 

I am not holding it in dreamland. The things I cherish in religious life I've always held very dear to my heart, even when I wasn't a Christian, but I do see religious life reflected in the scriptures. 

 

I know you guys are helping, but I'm not investing so narrowly in one option as you may think? I've travelled the world, graduated university; I have a good job, and future aspirations to go to Korea while paying off my student loans, volunteer with my parish, get certified to teach crossfit.

 

Religious life (ie. a prayer rule, hard work, regular worship, charity and volunteer work) just seems something that I naturally gravitate towards outside of a community, so it seems to me that that's likely where I should or will be. 

 

Finally I understand that your guys' cautions are due to your generosity, and I sincerely thank you for looking out for me so I don't get burned in this process. And I know I need more experience with religious communities.