SophiaMaria Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 I encountered the women back in 2002. I had a friend that was looking at them and she brought them over to the house where i was living with friends. I wasn't impressed and they seemed very pushy and weren't good at listening That's all I can remember. The friend then joined them and her family and friends never heard from her again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 I think that I may have made an error in judgment that is causing most of the posts to fail to address what I need from this thread. In my attempt to create a neutral and non-judgmental thread in which people could be comfortable sharing their personal experiences of considering RC, I left out some information. I am close to someone who seems to be seriously considering becoming one of their Consecrated. I have misgivings and concerns about this. My attempt to talk to her about the problems with the founder did not go well. I have been hoping that hearing the perspective of discerners who have considered RC could give me some insights. Instead, I am getting post after post that seems likely to discourage my intended responder from posting. Somehow, I have given the impression that I am promoting RC and presenting their side of things and that people need to post about the problems with the group. At this point, I find it unlikely that anyone who has considered RC will feel safe sharing about it publicly. If there are people who are willing to share their experiences with me privately, please message me. Peregrina, if the responses on here - which are all pretty mild and balanced in tone - would deter your friend from posting here, then that in itself is a red flag! One sign of a problematic community is that they (or the people close to them) are unwilling to read anything remotely critical about the group. It seems that what you are actually asking is "Please send me nice stories about discernment with RC/LC that will reassure me they are actually OK", and trying to call this neutrality. But neutrality does not mean covering up bad experiences or trying to excuse serious problems in the name of being even-handed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted May 19, 2014 Author Share Posted May 19, 2014 Peregrina, if the responses on here - which are all pretty mild and balanced in tone - would deter your friend from posting here, then that in itself is a red flag! One sign of a problematic community is that they (or the people close to them) are unwilling to read anything remotely critical about the group. It seems that what you are actually asking is "Please send me nice stories about discernment with RC/LC that will reassure me they are actually OK", and trying to call this neutrality. But neutrality does not mean covering up bad experiences or trying to excuse serious problems in the name of being even-handed. You are completely misunderstanding what I was saying. However, at this point, I have grown so frustrated and disappointed with this thread that it does not seem worth explaining. Am I allowed to request for the thread to be locked? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Ok here's something from my perspective. I considered being RC because I didn't have a vocation to other forms of religious life but I wasn't comfortable really discerning marriage yet - I still wanted that special role in the church. To have a special place closer to Jesus' heart. (I was on the wrong track, but anyway) They are vibrant and alive - it's attractive to belong somewhere that is growing, that has MOMENTUM. It feels like you're really on the way to accomplishing something. They are also orthodox in a conventional sense. For someone for whom fidelity is important they tick off all those boxes. The biggest thing was the momentum part though. Like wow I can be a part of something great! A historic movement! I'm setting the world on fire etc. Ultimately I didn't go with them because I was called to marriage and I also figured out they were rather fishy. Is that more what you were looking for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SophiaMaria Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Peregrina, to answer your question more directly. My experience with regnum christi was back in 2002 so that was a bit of time ago but I didnt have a good impression personally and I know others have had positive experiences. First off the I think one should have a good spiritual director to weigh the various thongs we enchiounter during discernment because we can really talk ouselves into things that may not be God's will. I personally would not look into a community that had so much "baggage" so to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maggyie Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Also, to answer one if your questions, if I was discerning today I would not consider a community that had troubles in the last 50 years or so. There are so many other orders that are stable. Yes God calls to specific communities but... I don't know. I really don't think it's necessary to put oneself at risk that way to fully live a vocation, if you've got one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted May 19, 2014 Author Share Posted May 19, 2014 Ultimately I didn't go with them because I was called to marriage and I also figured out they were rather fishy. Is that more what you were looking for? Yes, thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 (edited) Peregrina, I see why you are frustrated, and I see why you got the responses you received. I have a few thoughts for you, not necessarily in any particular order. In terms of openness.... I'm a married woman, and the Vocation Contact/Formation Director for a secular order affiliated with one of the Mendicant Orders. I also discerned (prior to my marriage, obviously, and back when dinosaurs roamed the earth!) with a number of cloistered and active communities... and was a postulant with one of those for a while. I am very glad I did all the searching and exploring I did... and I am grateful God has me where he has me! I had some wonderful experiences, a few that were really, really bad.... and I learned so much I regret none of it. :) People come to Phatmass -- and to Vocation Station -- for various reasons. Some are thinking about entering or are in actual discernment with a community. Some are just starting and don't have a clue how to get started. Some are members of various religious communities who are here to answer questions and support those who are searching... we have more than a few vocation directors who participate (and I bet A LOT more who lurk!) And there are a few of us (including me!) who discerned at one point, realized that God is NOT calling them to religious life, but who now are available to support those who are searching and/or to provide some continuity as this subphorum loses people as they enter into religious life and seminaries. AND... there are more than a few people who come to Phatmass and specifically to VS because they have had to leave religious life and/or a seminary and are healing. And a person who has had a hard experience is more than concerned if she or he see someone who seems to be making similar moves to the one that got the person into a bad situation. What that means is that..... sometimes people have wonderful experiences and other people have NOT had wonderful experiences. But chances are the people with the wonderful experiences are IN the communities... and not ON Vocation Station. So.... It's not too surprising that a community that has had a lot of problems would get more than the typical number of negative responses. You and your friend need to be aware of that. And that there are very good reasons for being more than just wary of a community that has had those problems. Prior to your arrival in Phatmass, we've had a number of threads about what kinds of questions to ask during discernment, and about what kinds of things would make people nervous about entering/ staying with / trying to decide if they should leave various communities. Some of those have been very insightful, and we can find links to those if they would be helpful. I second what people have suggested that people who are discerning need someone to do the work of spiritual direction with them. Because it is too easy for all of us to just see what we want unless there is someone who has a little distance who can also challenge you to see what you need to see. And that can be about the community, about yourself, and about the interaction of the two. If I can be of any help, don't hesitate to PM. And assure your friend we are all praying for her. Edited May 19, 2014 by AnneLine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruso Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Edited by moderator (cmaD2006): unfair/inflamatory comments against a religious community Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted May 19, 2014 Author Share Posted May 19, 2014 Prior to your arrival in Phatmass, we've had a number of threads about what kinds of questions to ask during discernment, and about what kinds of things would make people nervous about entering/ staying with / trying to decide if they should leave various communities. Some of those have been very insightful, and we can find links to those if they would be helpful. I would appreciate this very much. I do not want to discourage a person who is feeling a sense of vocation and am very concerned about saying the wrong thing. I am trying to walk a line of being encouraging and supportive while helping her to understand the situation requires caution. She has already done one of their teen summer mission programs and has made friends with some of the Consecrated. She is clearly very attracted to them and dismisses the problems with the founder as irrelevant. Thank you for being so helpful and understanding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 (edited) Can anyone help me to find some of those? Off the top of my head this one comes to mind... but there have been others. Come on, old-timers, let's pull these up..... This one has part of 'tradmom''s list -- but there may be a better version around.... Tradmom used to be a Phatmass user, and she had several daughters who entered religious life. These questions were the ones they came up with... and I think there are some additional questions and suggestions that people added later.... anyone know? HELP ME FIND SOMETHING :) http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/119385-help-me-find-something/ The thread below was a hard one for a lot of people on VS, but a lot of good discussion about some peoples' experiences in various communities occurred during it. It would be good to read and pray over... REASONS TO LEAVE A MONASTERY http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/132311-reasons-to-leave-a-monastery/ Edited May 19, 2014 by AnneLine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruso Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 We debated REGNUM CHRISTI years before the scandal came to light.(Edited by moderator (cmaD2006): inflamatory comment towards a religious community)http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/45786-ecyd-and-regnum-christi/http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/45645-the-legion-of-christ/http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/83095-regnum-christi-the-apostolic-movement/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 Here's another one of those generic threads (NOT about a specific community) - 15 trouble signs for evaluating communities http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/104771-15-signs-of-trouble/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petitpèlerin Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 I would appreciate this very much. I do not want to discourage a person who is feeling a sense of vocation and am very concerned about saying the wrong thing. I am trying to walk a line of being encouraging and supportive while helping her to understand the situation requires caution. She has already done one of their teen summer mission programs and has made friends with some of the Consecrated. She is clearly very attracted to them and dismisses the problems with the founder as irrelevant. The problems with the founder are not irrelevant. It's very naive to think otherwise. I say this because I used to be very naive and oblivious to things like social repercussions myself. I'm still just learning, but it's important to be careful, not to blow things off. A friend of mine also did a summer mission with the LoC and had a positive experience. I don't think she ever seriously considered a vocation with them, though. She has been discerning with another community. It sounds like you're being a good friend. Are there any other communities your friend is interested in, or is she set on this one right now? Maybe experiencing other communities would help her see the contrast with some of the problems in this one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perigrina Posted May 20, 2014 Author Share Posted May 20, 2014 It sounds like you're being a good friend. Are there any other communities your friend is interested in, or is she set on this one right now? Maybe experiencing other communities would help her see the contrast with some of the problems in this one. She is not set on RC and I think you are right about the value of investigating other communities. One thing that I have gotten from this thread is that direct attacks on RC are likely to make things worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now