Lord Grant Me Patience

[Iacobus]

The most furtrated I got at my old job was when I had a deaf mute come through my lane and something didn't scan. I had nothing to write on and I don't know sign langauge and he couldn't read lips (or so it seemed) so I was doing this huge mime act holding the flowers and drawing a big "x" on the computer screen.

At my new job it is playdays when there are a ton of carts backed up and you are going insane moving them. And some comes and parts a cart filled with trash in the wrong spot.

[Thy Geekdom Come]

I'm cranky today, too. My little brother is being a jerk as usual. He insists that I have to mow the lawn even though he's skipped out on it every time since I got back home. I have to scrub the floor with a sponge today (hands and knees), and my mother finally intervened and said that he has to mow the lawn, so we made a deal that he accepted and now that she's gone, he's renegotiating, saying that he has to go into work early and won't have time (even though he has plenty of time right now to watch Tom an Jerry and eat his usual excessive amounts of food. The deal was that I would do the inside chores today while he does the outside chores, so now he thinks that the inside chores, which have always been interpretted as the communal indoor chores, includes his room, which is a mess, and taking care of his dog. All the while he's insulting me very rudely (words I won't repeat here, to spare the ears of tweens) and while I was praying Morning Prayer in my room, he put the dog in there twice just to bother and disrupt me (the dog got a stuffed animal off my bed and started eating it, too) and when I removed the dog, he wouldn't take care of him (keep in mind 1. it's his dog and 2. I was interrupting my prayers to do this). So I put the dog in the kennel and he starts yelling at me to take care of the dog! He knew that I was praying, by the way. I had to sit in front of the door to block it.

I'm starting to feel like Harry Potter locked up with the Dursley's!!!

[Lil Red]

ooo, prayers for you, Raphael!

[akamarymag]

i feel ya to man but uve been blesed man! uve been given the chance to serve! whenever my days get like that i think my house as the setting for a mission trip. try it! as for the prayer interuptin.... the Lord knows u were trying to pray....hey u never know mabe u could pray with your bro!

[Ash Wednesday]

You know what?

Politics tick me off. I find the media during election years beyond vexatious.

I should get my news from the BBC instead until November.

My dad watches Fox news, and sometimes CNN, EVERY NIGHT!!!!! AND IT IS ALL HE WATCHES! I'M SUBJECTED TO NOTHING BUT POLITICAL SPIN WHEN I'M HOME!!!!! I'M SICK OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:irate:

[Thy Geekdom Come]

I was thinking about what I said earlier and the Lion King threads...I think I know why I feel akin to Simba...I'm most like him personality-wise and my brother is most like Scar. Seriously. I'm the next in authority to my parents (I actually had to babysit my older brother when we were kids because he was so lacking common sense). My little brother can't stand it. He is one of those manipulative, power-seeking types, who, if given the power he seeks, would only misuse it and, to borrow the Lion King again, turn the Pridelands dry. At the same time, he thinks he his powerful (his ego is huge), and that he should be able to do whatever he wants. He can't win either by logical reasoning or by physical ability. Ever since we were kids, we were taught not to fight physically, but to reason out our differences. He developed an immunity-he just insults you (in Dr. Evil's "zip it!" style or in obscenities) until you leave him alone, annoyed. Then he thinks he won the argument, even though, logically speaking, he didn't.

I, on the other hand, was a carefree kid and used to consider him a friend as a child. I trusted him as a child. I was mischievious and rambunctious, like Simba. In spite of this, I was the person my parents have always considered the responsible one-the person who would take the reigns if troubles came. At the same time, I am a person who doesn't want authority, but I use it to work things out for the best for everyone when I actually have authority. I try to make light of it, making fun of it all the time (people on Flyfree will recognize this in my jesting, empty promises to destroy their post counts, etc., which I would never really do). Someone on here pointed out that I have a chance to serve. That is indeed what God has given me in this. The question is, how? Do I serve even my brother's whims (which will lead to trouble, most likely) or, like Simba, do I find a way to reassert my own authority as the chief servant, who keeps the balance in place, to bring about the good of everyone, including my brother? Which way is the proper way to serve God and family and which fulfulls the purpose for my personality to be this way? And once I find which one I must follow...how do I go about it?

Discernment is a constant process...one stage of it leads to exponentially more questions...

[Ash Wednesday]

Just break his nose.





















Kidding.

Is he, perhaps, jealous of you? It sounds like you're the straight arrow and he feels like he lives in your shadow. What is his faith life like?

[Thy Geekdom Come]

[quote]Is he, perhaps, jealous of you? It sounds like you're the straight arrow and he feels like he lives in your shadow. What is his faith life like?
[/quote]

I don't think he's jealous of me, no. He just is a person who wants power. He prizes the spotlight and will do anything to get it. In this family, I have power. It's not my life that he wants, just the power. The trouble is that no one who wants power should be given it...they misuse it. I kind of like having power in my family sometimes, but only because I know I use it well. This is the kind of guy...if you gave him his own island nation, the citizens would be slaves, he'd live in a palace and pluck grapes with his teeth off of vines held by gorgeous women who had to be chained to the floor.

His faith life is terrible, from what I can see. He doesn't really care much what God thinks or what God intends for him (i.e. he has no humility...he can't accept his place in the world...he always wants more). He curses all the time (with and without God's Name), he threatens me physically (but won't act on it, because he knows I would win if I had to defend myself), but I don't start fights, so he doesn't have to worry about that. I worry about his soul. He cursed the Holy Name today and I told him not to, so he did it again and said something like, "I'll say whatever I want!"

I suppose in the end, prayer for him is most important, but there is something I must be able to do. I'm the guy who always takes care of everyone. There has to be something I can do.