Writing My Own Pastoral Letter Of Recommendation

[AnneLine]

Actually.... I think it does happen a lot... I had it happen to me with 3 separate pastors.   

 

AND.. it isn't ideal, but it really is the reality a lot of the time.   Many of our pastors are the only priest (or only one of two priests) and they do the best they can.

 

It does NOT mean they don't write the recommendation, just that they want some idea of what is needed for content, and then they build on that framework.

 

ClemensBruno, I was kind of horrified the first time it happened... startled the second, and resigned the third.

 

We have the same issue with getting recommendations for people entering our Secular Order.  We have to have two of them.  Many pastors simply won't write them.   We now ask for recommendations from a priest, religous or member of the Secular Order.

 

Really all we want to know is is the person someone who will benefit from membership in a Secular Order, will the person be someone we want to have in the community, and definitely, is the person NOT an axe-murderer.   

 

I've written many, many letters for others, and I will often talk to the person for a while about what is wanted and I like to write my own.... but if I didn't have time to talk to the person, I'd take a draft and then build off that.... but I do feel like I need to know the person well before I would write one.  Sadly many communities will ONLY take one from the pastor, and so then you run into this scenario.

 

 

[Lilllabettt]

It is highly reckless to make broad proclamations with such bedrock certainty, especially concerning a topic about which one so obviously knows so little.

 

There is nothing "standard" about this practice.  

 

 

Sorry to burst your bubble. 

Maybe you haven't handled recommendations from higher up people. It happens a lot. 

I am privy to the application process at the finest research institution in the world, and it is common practice here. Everyone is aware of it. The graduate students who have to do it complain loudly about how awkward it is.

I don't see it as an ethical question. The recommender reads the letter, and if they concur with what is said there, they sign it. It is an icky position for the person who has to write the letter tooting their own horn to the person who will sign it. Asking a lower level person who knows you better and can take the time  to write a rec themselves can result in a more effective letter. But its not an ethical question. 

[ClemensBruno]

Actually.... I think it does happen a lot... I had it happen to me with 3 separate pastors. . . .

Allow me to clarify...

My related experience is solely within the professional and academic spheres. Sadly, I am ignorant of the state of such letters in the pastoral world.

If you are right, AnneLine, then I am greatly concerned. Such practices are an open invitation to abuse.

Throughout my discernment process, I have always expected and received "real" letters of recommendation. In the one case in which the required recommender was a mere acquaintance, I made sure he knew me very well before I asked him to write a letter or recommendation.

[ClemensBruno]

Sorry to burst your bubble.
Maybe you haven't handled recommendations from higher up people. It happens a lot.
I am privy to the application process at the finest research institution in the world, and it is common practice here.

Aah. So, you saw it as standard practice in the ONE research institution--a far cry from your earlier blanket proclamation of its prevalence "in the professional and academic world".

Really, Lilllabettt, you will be a better person if you tempered your vanity, and avoid reckless statements like,

1) "Many of these people do not regularly write ANY of their own correspondence".

2) "They give dictation, then someone types up their ideas with nicer words and sends it off."

3) "This is how the American president handles his correspondence."

I fear you are completely unaware of how such ludicrous pronouncements reflect poorly on your character.

[Nunsuch]

I am a tenured professor at a major research university. I have ALWAYS written all my own letters of recommendation. These can run up to three pages long for doctoral students, and well over a page even for undergraduates. My colleagues all do the same. And so did all the professors at the major research university where I earned my PhD.

[Lilllabettt]

Aah. So, you saw it as standard practice in the ONE research institution--a far cry from your earlier blanket proclamation of its prevalence "in the professional and academic world".

Really, Lilllabettt, you will be a better person if you tempered your vanity, and avoid reckless statements like,

1) "Many of these people do not regularly write ANY of their own correspondence".

2) "They give dictation, then someone types up their ideas with nicer words and sends it off."

3) "This is how the American president handles his correspondence."

I fear you are completely unaware of how such ludicrous pronouncements reflect poorly on your character.

 

 

No. It's been a standard practice every place I've ever learned or worked. I have been an adult for 10 years and have run around in a few of the more prestigious organizations this country has to offer in the business, nonprofit and public sectors. 

 

Not to say that everyone did it this way for everyone. If a higher up knew someone particularly well or was particularly close to them, they might take the time to write one themselves. Otherwise, no. They have the recomendee write it or they have their secretary write it, and they sign it. Sorry.

 

Also, if you don't think the American president handles his correspondence that way, look into applying for a White House Internship in the office of presidential correspondence. it's a great program. 

Alternatively, you could apply for a job as an executive assistant (formerly, executive secretary). Writing emails and letters and handling the billing for their business accounts "in their name" will be most of your job.

[ClemensBruno]

No. It's been a standard practice every place I've ever learned or worked. I have been an adult for 10 years and have run around in a few of the more prestigious organizations this country has to offer in the business, nonprofit and public sectors.

Aaah. I must repeat: I fear you are completely unaware of how your confident certainty reflects poorly on your character.

I will not argue with you any further. It's pointless. Your pride prevents you from learning anything new or different from what you think you know.

[Lilllabettt]

Aaah. I must repeat: I fear you are completely unaware of how your confident certainty reflects poorly on your character.

I will not argue with you any further. It's pointless. Your pride prevents you from learning anything new or different from what you think you know.

 

ehhh I think there is some definite fly-off-the-handle-ness thats happening in this thread, and it did not originate with myself. but why don't we let people read for themselves, okay? peace.

[SilentJoy]

Aaah. I must repeat: I fear you are completely unaware of how your confident certainty reflects poorly on your character.

I will not argue with you any further. It's pointless. Your pride prevents you from learning anything new or different from what you think you know.

[ClemensBruno]

Wow.... How sad... Very sad....

Truly I am but new stranger here. One would expect greater Christian charity shown in this virtual group that has apparently been tight-knit for years.

However, it's difficult to feel welcome here. I've witnessed too much intolerance being defended during my brief few weeks here. I initially expected Phatmass to be a retreat into Christian Charity, but the tone of self-righteousness is unexpectedly more pervasive than one expects it to be. It's certainly very disturbing, and I sense myself recoiling away from continuing to be a part of this.

I do not belong in here. . . . I guess I will be leaving far sooner than I expected.

To those discerning, be assured that you remain daily in my prayers.

Your brother in Christ,
ClemensBruno


<< Benedictus sit Deus in omnibus operibus ejus et nunc et in saecula! >>

[maximillion]

My twopennyworth.

 

In the pastoral arena and the professional one I have frequently come across the practice of asking the person requesting a reference to provide either an outline statement or the full reference. So I agree with those who have this experience. It is common, in the academic, professional and other worlds. It may not be universal, that's true.

I have also spoken with many professionals and others who have a similar experience, so it is certainly true for the USA and UK, and I suspect, elsewhere too....

 

In the last job I held, the head of HR was required to write all references. He hardly knew me.......so it was common for him to ask the person who needed the reference to write a full outline, then he approved it and his secretary padded it out and off it went.

 

TBH it is so common now that I am surprised at the surprise........

[SilentJoy]

To those discerning, be assured that you remain daily in my prayers.
 

Thank you! :heart:

[Nunsuch]

Maximillion, I agree that it is important to give the recommender some information. For example, when I write recommendations for students applying to grad/law school, or applying for jobs, I ask them for their most current c.v. (resume), as well as any personal statement they may be submitting. But that is very different from asking them to draft a letter.

[Lilllabettt]

Maximillion, I agree that it is important to give the recommender some information. For example, when I write recommendations for students applying to grad/law school, or applying for jobs, I ask them for their most current c.v. (resume), as well as any personal statement they may be submitting. But that is very different from asking them to draft a letter.

 

 

Can you explain the ethical dilemma? I  simply don't see one.

If a recommender reads a pre-written letter and signs their name, signaling that what is in the letter represents their opinion, what difference does it make if they did nor did not craft said letter themselves? 

[Maggyie]

Um. OP, google the words "writing my own LOR" and you will find you have lots of company and lots of advice for how to do this well. LOR stands for letter of rec of course but online that's how people abbreviate. Here's some links:

http://www.petersons.com/college-search/letter-recommendation-writing-yourself.aspx

http://www.vault.com/blog/job-search/how-to-write-your-own-recommendation-letter/

While these pertain to the academic and professional worlds where this practice is VERY common, it's becoming commonplace in the church's world too. Simply because no one has time for anything it seems. But in the case of priests it's understandable I guess. Anyway these tips would sort of be helpful in your situation too I hope.