How To Encourage A Struggling Family Member

[AugustineA]

I have a family member; she's a bit older than me. She converted after seeing and hearing my own coming into the faith. I worried at the time that she was more romantically attached to the idea of attending this small, beautiful Catholic church, but still very excited to have a Catholic relative.

 

I've had my ups and downs but I'm still here. My family member stopped going to Church entirely. During one of our conversations many raw emotions came out, and she began explaining to me how the priests and extraordinary ministers think they're so much better than the little people.

 

I was obviously upset as she seemed to have some real anger and bitterness, which I recognize may be related other circumstances or personal hurdles. Naturally, when she decided to return to church I encouraged her but sincerely asked her to seek confession before taking communion.

 

Today, we grabbed some food and she wanted to tell me she went to Easter Mass. Again I want to see her return so I avoided the topic for the entire meal, and at the end asked her if she took communion and went to confession.

 

She did take communion but believes she doesn't need to confess to a priest. She also said she has only committed one sin of honking at someone and really doesn't sin. If she does, she says, she can tell her best friend, and she went on to say she doesn't believe in the immaculate conception.

 

This is where I want to be super careful unless she is pushed away completely.

 

I tried to explain how confession follows three commands in the Bible, to confess, to confess to one another, and to an apostolic descendant who has the power to loose and bind and that anything about Mary can be sorted out later, and that our unity and communion is most important. Then I was quiet... She wouldn't say anything. I waited for a few minutes and then asked her to just tell her priest everything on her heart, and he will probably be gentle and pastoral about it. And that's all.. I don't really know what else to do. I need some advice. Sorry for the long post. 

 

 

Edited April 21, 2014 by AugustineA

[CatherineM]

She obviously wasn't properly catechized. Start there. Get a basic rcia book and an apologetics one, and take an issue at a time over lunch. Hopefully when she understands why we teach the things we do, she'll come around. Ask in open mic for books that have helped.

If it makes you feel any better, we all have relatives who have stopped going to church. Her conversion was more like a tent revival kind of thing, and now the initial flame has gone out. You are the best one to try to rekindle it.