Just a Skosh Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 From 1784: 4th Earl of Sandwich to Samuel Foote: "Foote, I have often wondered what catastrophe would bring you to your end, but I think that you must either die of the pox or the halter." Foote: "My lord, that will depend upon one of two contingencies, whether I embrace your lordship's mistress or your lordship's principles." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancilla Domini Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." – Thomas Brackett Reed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just a Skosh Posted April 8, 2014 Author Share Posted April 8, 2014 He's all hat, no cattle He's the kind of man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot He's as useful as lights in a blind man's house. Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancilla Domini Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 (edited) "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." —Winston Churchill "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." —Moses Hadas "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."—Abraham Lincoln "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."—Groucho Marx "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."—Mark Twain "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."—Oscar Wilde "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play. Bring a friend . . . if you have one."—George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second . . . if there is one."—Winston Churchill, in response "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."—Stephen Bishop "He is a self-made man and worships his creator."—John Bright "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."—Irvin S. Cobb "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."—Samuel Johnson "He had delusions of adequacy."—Walter Kerr "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."—Jack E. Leonard "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."—Robert Redford "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."—William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"—Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner) "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." —James Reston (about Richard Nixon) "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."—Forrest Tucker "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"—Mark Twain "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."—Mae West "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."—Oscar Wilde "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination."—Andrew Lang "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." "Forgive me for shaking your hand with my left; I eat with the other one." If you want me to read your mind, give me more to work with. He was so narrow-minded, he could look through a keyhole with both eyes. Edited April 8, 2014 by Ancilla Domini Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 "Sir, you are drunk." "And you, Madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning, and you will still be ugly." - Winston Churchill to Bessie Braddock "I think he's the sort of man people emigrate to avoid." "If I may use a gardening simile here, if his entire family may be likened to a compost heap, and I think they can, then Gerald is the biggest weed growing out of it." "Either this man is suffering from serious brain damage, or the new vaccuum cleaner's arrived." "I spurn you as I would spurn a rabid dog." - Rowan Atkinson, "Father of the Bride" sketch. An Australian former Prime Minister was renowned for his insults.The Leader of the Opposition is more to be pitied than despised, the poor old thing. The Liberal Party of Australia ought to put him down like a faithful old dog because he is of no use to it and of no use to the nation.He's wound up like a thousand-day clock! One (more half) turn and there'll be springs and sprockets all over the building. Mr Speaker, give him a Valium.The little desiccated coconut's under pressure and he's attacking anything he can get his hands on. It was the limpest performance I have ever seen ... it was like being flogged with a warm lettuce. Australians have a heap of gems. Here are a few: You must be the world's only living brain donor. He's about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. He wouldn't work in an iron lung. (very lazy) You've got tickets on yourself, mate! (very full of yourself) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancilla Domini Posted April 8, 2014 Share Posted April 8, 2014 "Anderson, don't talk out loud; you lower the IQ of the whole street." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 “He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.†- Groucho Marx “I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that.†- Groucho Marx “Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.†- Groucho Marx “I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement.†- Oscar Wilde “Out of my sight! Thou dost infect mine eyes.†- Richard III “Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome." - Oscar Levant “She is a peacock in everything but beauty!†- The Picture of Dorian Gray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 My brother to me when I was about 8 years old, and whining: "Here's a quid (£), go to the SPCA and have yourself put out of my misery." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 "You're not worth wasting good spit on" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bus Station Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Poopface Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancilla Domini Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Poopface subtle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just a Skosh Posted April 10, 2014 Author Share Posted April 10, 2014 Douchecanoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrysostom Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Captain Haddock's insults, of which I give you a choice few: Addle-pated lumps of anthracite! Blistering blundering bird-brain! Certified Diplodocuses! Fourlegged Cyrano! Fuzzy wuzzy! You, interplanetary goat, you! Logarithim! Ostrogoth! Pithecanthropic montebanks! Technocrat! Vegetarian! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancilla Domini Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 Captain Haddock's insults, of which I give you a choice few: Addle-pated lumps of anthracite! Blistering blundering bird-brain! Certified Diplodocuses! Fourlegged Cyrano! Fuzzy wuzzy! You, interplanetary goat, you! Logarithim! Ostrogoth! Pithecanthropic montebanks! Technocrat! Vegetarian! Bald-headed budgerigar! Captain Haddock is the best. XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJon16 Posted April 10, 2014 Share Posted April 10, 2014 "...xenophobic butthole" - Winchester I thought it was worth recording here. Very animated. Definitely obnoxious, but that's what makes it awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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