Breast Feeding At Mass

[ImageTrinity]

http://www.philly.com/philly/living/Pope_Francis_OKs_public_breastfeeding_because_babies_are_the_most_important_people_here.html

 

I fed my son with a cover at Mass, my daughter not as often because she likes to pop off and look around. I try to nurse the baby before Mass starts, so usually I don't have to nurse during Mass. I don't have the option of leaving the pew because my husband is in the military and often has to work Sundays and I have a toddler. That said...

 

I truly don't feel I have any obligation to "protect" male members of the congregation. I do my best to dress modestly out of concern for my brothers in Christ, but breastfeeding is giving food to my child. That's all. I consider it their responsibility to take custody of their eyes and look away if it constitutes a temptation. I understand that we are living in an over-sexualized culture and I truly sympathize with the heavy cross men have to carry, but I don't see how hiding the function of my body (and making my baby go hungry) helps the situation.

[ImageTrinity]

Actually, the more I think about it, Mass is probably the most appropriate public place to breastfeed. We are all children being fed the body of Christ and the Eucharist is nothing if not scandalous and uncomfortable.

[Lil Red]

sometimes your kid won't wait, my boyo was like that. even if I tried to feed him before Mass started, half way through Mass he'd want to eat again (AND YES EVEN AT 10 MONTHS OLD). or if you try to wait, your boobs get so painfully hard because they need to feed your kid (and they start leaking through your shirt). TMI, but I don't give two floops because obviously some people have no idea what the mechanics involved in breastfeeding.

 

and if you're trying to ecologically breastfeed, you're not supposed to schedule a baby's feedings, or use pacifiers, or bottles (to my knowledge). eat on demand to space children naturally. 

 

also, everyone's talking like a mom has her whole boob and nipple hanging out. if she's breastfeeding correctly, the only part you MIGHT see is the top of her breast, which a lot of women reveal more than that if they're wearing a low-cut top (even at Mass!). so please, the next time you're offended by the top of a woman's boob because she's breastfeeding and have the cajones to say something to her, please also go tell off the ladies at Mass who are exposing just as much boob.

 

or you know, worry about your own damn self at Mass instead of breastfeeding moms. 

[Lil Red]

now can we please talk about something else? 

 

like how much fun it is to say boob? :hehe: 

[IcePrincessKRS]

sometimes your kid won't wait, my boyo was like that. even if I tried to feed him before Mass started, half way through Mass he'd want to eat again (AND YES EVEN AT 10 MONTHS OLD). or if you try to wait, your boobs get so painfully hard because they need to feed your kid (and they start leaking through your shirt). TMI, but I don't give two floops because obviously some people have no idea what the mechanics involved in breastfeeding.

 

and if you're trying to ecologically breastfeed, you're not supposed to schedule a baby's feedings, or use pacifiers, or bottles (to my knowledge). eat on demand to space children naturally. 

 

also, everyone's talking like a mom has her whole boob and nipple hanging out. if she's breastfeeding correctly, the only part you MIGHT see is the top of her breast, which a lot of women reveal more than that if they're wearing a low-cut top (even at Mass!). so please, the next time you're offended by the top of a woman's boob because she's breastfeeding and have the cajones to say something to her, please also go tell off the ladies at Mass who are exposing just as much boob.

 

or you know, worry about your own beaver dam self at Mass instead of breastfeeding moms. 

 

Correct. With ecological breastfeeding you nurse on demand and don't use pacifiers or bottles.

 

I had children that wouldn't take pacifiers (or only accepted them after they'd grown a few months because even the newborn pacifiers were so big they gagged on them). Not one out of my 4 kids ever accepted a bottle more than once or twice no matter how frequently I offered (I wasted a lot of money on different types of bottles and nipples just trying to get them to take it once in awhile). It's a nice idea, but it doesn't work for everyone (just like breastfeeding period doesn't work for everyone). Not all babies are the same, they all have their own quirks and needs that must be met on an individual basis. Sometimes that means nursing in Mass as discreetly as possible, with or without a cover. 

[Lil Red]

sorry(not sorry) if I seem really harsh about this topic. I know I got so demoralized by the obstacles (obstacles that no one wanted to do anything about, even though I spoke up) that were in my way at my (then) parish when I was breastfeeding my kids. It made me feel shamed, and not supported, even as an outspoken advocate for breastfeeding your kid. how is that in any way a Catholic ideal for faithful Catholic moms? how do you think moms who are unsure about breastfeeding would feel? 

 

I mean, I was an employee at the parish, and they ignored me when I spoke up! 

Edited March 27, 2014 by Lil Red

[Lil Red]

I can't edit my post, but I know it sounds like I'm blaming people for not knowing the inner workings of breastfeeding (like leakage or painfully hard boobs). I'm not. That's just stuff that doesn't get brought up or talked about a lot, so a lot of women and men aren't aware about it until it happens to them (or their wife). 

[Lil Red]

I wonder if the attitude of "it's their problem" partly comes from the fact that most women feel like everyone thinks they have a right to voice their opinion at them about whether or not they're raising their own child the "right" way. Moms are bombarded with strong opinions all the time, so the "it's their problem" answer may sound callous, but might be a product of having to deal with that. 

 

true. it seems like once you have a kid, (even when the baby isn't born yet), everyone feels like it's suddenly okay to tell you (aka poke their nose into your business) what you should do or not do with your kid, or how you should feel about xyz about child rearing. 

 

with breastfeeding, I can only control how I feel about it. if i was stressed out, it translates to my child that i'm stressing out and usually the baby (at least my kids) won't eat. so, yeah, it's a defense mechanism. moms may be superheroes, but they can only do so much! 

[CrossCuT]

In my defense, I was only uncomfortable when the WHOLE boob was saying hello.

 Thats the only time I have ever been uncomfortable. But its not enough for me to walk up and challenge the mother to a shouting match or tell her to leave.

 

 

Im more shocked that she is ok with her boob hanging free than the fact that I saw it.

 

:paperbag:

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

Boob is spelt the same way backwards. :) so whether or not your feeding your bub on the right breast or the left, breast feeding is breast feeding and good. :) now if you try and feed your baby with your left thumb or right thumb and expect some milk to come out and the baby to be fully satisfied from this that is far to left or far to right, because the thumb is not a boob. :) But on the whole breast feeding and formula feeding i was talking to my lil bro about this today and he said some women just can't breast feed for whatever reason so the to far right absolutely no formula nazis, watch it. :P

Edited March 27, 2014 by Tab'le De'Bah-Rye

[IcePrincessKRS]

In my defense, I was only uncomfortable when the WHOLE boob was saying hello.

 Thats the only time I have ever been uncomfortable. But its not enough for me to walk up and challenge the mother to a shouting match or tell her to leave.

 

 

Im more shocked that she is ok with her boob hanging free than the fact that I saw it.

 

:paperbag:

 

This may be TMI and really none of my business, but was she rather well endowed? In my experience women that are rather busty often seem to have a harder time getting their baby latched quickly and need to have more exposure to get situated (they generally fix their shirt or pull a blanket over once that's accomplished, but obviously not everyone does that otherwise this wouldn't be a discussion lol) I've had this happen around me, or been told that was what they had to do to make it work. I just avert my eyes until they are settled. I am very much accustomed to breastfeeding; I'm one of the oldest of 12 and my mom breastfed every last one of us (including tandem nursing twins---i know my exposure to this is NOT the norm). Even if they're not fully covered it doesn't weird me out (at least in private). That said, I still don't relish the idea of seeing someone's breast fully exposed. I feel like that is a very intimate thing, and even if they are comfortable enough with me to take those steps to feed their little one they deserve a bit of privacy while they get situated.

 

I mean, I get what you're saying, you get that weird "Uh, I can see your whole boob... where do I look" feeling. I just don't think most women nurse that way all the time.

[southern california guy]

I think that if you are going to allow a woman with babies into Mass, than you are going to be distracted by either a crying baby -- or a woman who is breastfeeding. I would personally choose the breastfeeding woman every time.

Even if some kid saw the womans breast so what? That is nothing bad. Everybody over the age of zero has seen a womans nipple. And if you incredibly have not -- the sight is not going to corrupt you. We could become as obsessive as the Muslims and require women to wear heavy garmets and veils over their faces.

I think that the truth is that "children" are becoming less acceptable. Especially large families -- with the mother taking care of the kids. Nowadays women are supposed to have careers and compete with men.

[the171]

kid sees a breast? perfect time to desexualize breasts.

[CrossCuT]

This may be TMI and really none of my business, but was she rather well endowed? In my experience women that are rather busty often seem to have a harder time getting their baby latched quickly and need to have more exposure to get situated (they generally fix their shirt or pull a blanket over once that's accomplished, but obviously not everyone does that otherwise this wouldn't be a discussion lol) I've had this happen around me, or been told that was what they had to do to make it work. I just avert my eyes until they are settled. I am very much accustomed to breastfeeding; I'm one of the oldest of 12 and my mom breastfed every last one of us (including tandem nursing twins---i know my exposure to this is NOT the norm). Even if they're not fully covered it doesn't weird me out (at least in private). That said, I still don't relish the idea of seeing someone's breast fully exposed. I feel like that is a very intimate thing, and even if they are comfortable enough with me to take those steps to feed their little one they deserve a bit of privacy while they get situated.

 

I mean, I get what you're saying, you get that weird "Uh, I can see your whole boob... where do I look" feeling. I just don't think most women nurse that way all the time.

 

Yes she was more well endowed.

 

And it was really only one time that I saw the whole boob...and I had the very reaction "Where do I look?" because I was having a conversation with her. I didnt want to let my feelings show on my face and I didnt want her to feel like I was sitting here watching her boob fall out of her shirt. It was just awkward. 

[Lil Red]

In my defense, I was only uncomfortable when the WHOLE boob was saying hello.

 Thats the only time I have ever been uncomfortable. But its not enough for me to walk up and challenge the mother to a shouting match or tell her to leave.

 

 

Im more shocked that she is ok with her boob hanging free than the fact that I saw it.

 

:paperbag:

 

yeah, I mean that is a little strange to me as well, but maybe her baby pulled off all of a sudden and she was waiting for her baby to go back to the boob? I don't know, obviously I wasn't there. But I'd rather give the mom the benefit of the doubt.