chrysostom Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 Someone (let's say John Smith) is an acquaintance I met at church last month. We talked about university education then. He was pretty forcefully advocating a particular style of it, and I didn't agree with him. At one point he made an argument and I pointed out what I saw as a flaw in it. I cannot remember being disrespectful. We didn't talk the next week, happening not to run into each other. The third Sunday of our acquaintance, we did, and I said hi. He asked me if I had been mad at him (I guess he thought there had been some reason I hadn't sought him out and found him the second Sunday?), which confused me, and I said no. I went to another mass time the fourth Sunday, and the fifth Sunday - last week - I came up and said hi. He didn't acknowledge my presence or respond even though I was like 3 feet away. I didn't really understand but I didn't think too much about it afterwards. Then yesterday I got an e-mail. He explained that he wouldn't be speaking to me until my attitude changes. :huh: :huh: :huh: ????????? He had apparently taken my response to his position-advocating that first week as a personal attack. :( He encouraged me to try having some humility. I e-mailed him back, asking to talk about it in person. I'm so confused. John Smith is the barest of acquaintances. How could he ascertain that my attitude has changed without speaking to me? What does ignoring someone's existence accomplish????? Outside of the usual growing-up pains with family, I have near zero experience with conflict (either I have a sixth sense for avoiding it, or it kind of blows over my head). I'm not invested in this very much but I don't like being on bad terms with anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Can you hum "The Twilight Zone" theme song? Yes? Then hum it now. I suggest you don't deal with this particular Ppl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrysostom Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 I suggest you don't deal with this particular Ppl. Thanks, I'll probably take that advice. I got another e-mail back and...whoa...yeah...eeek...I'll just say that he'll be in my prayers from now on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 And we will pray for you and for him. :pray: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tab'le De'Bah-Rye Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 (edited) sounds :( . Just pray for him a few times than leave the rest up to Jesus, who knows why he would react in such a way and be obnoxious towards you to the point of ignoring you totally which is pretty much excommunication socially. Very strange, maybe he has other issues pressurising him and you where in the line of fire. :( Edited March 22, 2014 by Tab'le De'Bah-Rye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Sounds like there are issues and they are not yours. I agree, leave well alone. Prayers for you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrysostom Posted March 24, 2014 Author Share Posted March 24, 2014 Well, he's adamant I apologize and that the ball is in my court. He said he wants us to be on good terms. I am tempted to e-mail him and explain that it was a misunderstanding. Choice 1: I don't respond. Result: he'll be offended I didn't apologize and will continue to shun me. Choice 2: I respond, but not with an apology although the words will be conciliatory. Result: he'll be offended I didn't apologize and will continue to shun me. I guess I'm tempted by the faint hope that he might accept that he misunderstood me. I know you aren't privy to all the details, Phatmassers, but I just...I don't know. I will probably take a day or two to write and re-write the perfectly gracious response so you have time to stop me before I dig my hole any deeper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MIKolbe Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 you should apologize Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luigi Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 Well, he's adamant I apologize and that the ball is in my court. He said he wants us to be on good terms. I am tempted to e-mail him and explain that it was a misunderstanding. Choice 1: I don't respond. Result: he'll be offended I didn't apologize and will continue to shun me. Choice 2: I respond, but not with an apology although the words will be conciliatory. Result: he'll be offended I didn't apologize and will continue to shun me. I guess I'm tempted by the faint hope that he might accept that he misunderstood me. I know you aren't privy to all the details, Phatmassers, but I just...I don't know. I will probably take a day or two to write and re-write the perfectly gracious response so you have time to stop me before I dig my hole any deeper. It has always been your fault. It is always your fault. It will always be your fault. Through your fault, through your fault, through your most grievous fault. You should apologize. NOT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 THEREFORE we ask Blessed Mary, Ever Virgin, and all the angels and saints, to pray for you (and all of us) to the Lord our God! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrysostom Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 Well, I WANT to apologize. It's just that the focal point, the crux, the key to his several grievances is a brief silence of mine in conversation that he says was "contemptuous". But I was just thinking. I can't say sorry for being contemptuous 'cause I'd be lying! But I want to think of something. Maybe the tone of my conversation. I don't know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrossCuT Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 He sounds like a poop. Id just be like "Hey man, I dont know what your problem is so bye" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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