My Spiritual Director Is Amazing

[ithinkjesusiscool]

I have also met a good Priest that has been a great inspiration for me. I would like to say that we learn things all the time. I have many people who inspire me...

[BigJon16]

Any priest can be a spiritual director... although there are "qualifiers," spiritual direction isn't such an official 'office' per say. Anyone, even just a good friend who is willing to hear you out and offer prayers and advice, can be a 'spiritual director'.. Of our four spiritual directors here at the seminary, only one of them is canonically certified. Another priest has a doctorate in psychology, but doesn't offer his services as a professional psychiatrist, although he technically could. The other two are just good diocesan priests who have a gift for helping young men to discern their vocations, and they also see non-seminarian directees--including other priests. Here, I have two main 'spiritual directors.' One is my confessor and the other is my 'official' spiritual director--and there is a difference. At home, my pastor doubles as both for me.  

 

On top of that, having brother seminarians constantly lifting you up and willing to lend an ear is a great bonus too. 

 

Mind you, this is from the perspective of someone in formation for and discerning a vocation to a diocesan life, but I know a couple of brothers who's outside spiritual directors are religious priests and for them this change in perspective and outside opinion is very good for them. I know of non-seminarians having religious sisters and brothers as their SD's and thats what works for them. 

 

 

 

I feel bad for those who's directors break internal forum. That can do a lot of damage--and I've seen that damage first hand in our community. In order for spiritual direction to work properly and be the benefit it should be, there has to be a great amount of mutual trust. If that trust isn't there, it isn't going to work. 

Edited March 24, 2014 by BigJon16

[Sister Marie]

Any priest can be a spiritual director... although there are "qualifiers," spiritual direction isn't such an official 'office' per say. Anyone, even just a good friend who is willing to hear you out and offer prayers and advice, can be a 'spiritual director'.. Of our four spiritual directors here at the seminary, only one of them is canonically certified. Another priest has a doctorate in psychology, but doesn't offer his services as a professional psychiatrist, although he technically could. The other two are just good diocesan priests who have a gift for helping young men to discern their vocations, and they also see non-seminarian directees--including other priests. Here, I have two main 'spiritual directors.' One is my confessor and the other is my 'official' spiritual director--and there is a difference. At home, my pastor doubles as both for me.  

 

On top of that, having brother seminarians constantly lifting you up and willing to lend an ear is a great bonus too. 

 

Mind you, this is from the perspective of someone in formation for and discerning a vocation to a diocesan life, but I know a couple of brothers who's outside spiritual directors are religious priests and for them this change in perspective and outside opinion is very good for them. I know of non-seminarians having religious sisters and brothers as their SD's and thats what works for them. 

 

 

 

I feel bad for those who's directors break internal forum. That can do a lot of damage--and I've seen that damage first hand in our community. In order for spiritual direction to work properly and be the benefit it should be, there has to be a great amount of mutual trust. If that trust isn't there, it isn't going to work. 

 

I mean no disrespect but I disagree that any priest can be a spiritual director. Not every priest is a good spiritual director... neither is every priest a good preacher, healer, teacher, counselor, vocation director, pastor, administrator... etc...  Everyone, including priests, have gifts and talents as well as challenges and weaknesses that are either enhanced by study and practice or left behind as things we just "aren't good at."  I have a good diocesan priest friend who I think is holy, a dynamic preacher, someone I can share with, and a good spiritual friend, a champion of the poor... but he isn't someone I would ever consider as a director for myself or someone else.  Maybe, if he were trained as a spiritual director, I would recommend him to someone else (not for me since we are already friends!) but until them I just say, "He's a great priest, a good friend, an honest and holy man."  I would also say that I admire him as an educator and a friend and that I am grateful for his friendship.  I don't want it to come across that I'm down on the priests but I don't think that ordination makes a man automatically good at everything.  Honestly, I think its a disservice to the priest and to the people to put him in a position where he has to do a job for which he hasn't been trained.

 

I'm sure the priests that are directing seminarians at your seminary are qualified in one way or another, but, from what I know of the seminary of my diocese, the priests who serve as spiritual directors to the seminarians are hand picked - it isn't just someone the seminarian personally "clicks" with.  If it were there would be the danger that everyone would just find someone who thinks the same way they do and they would never have the opportunity to grow, to be challenged, to change, to stretch, or to be converted.    

 

You are right that everyone has to find who and what works for them.  Directors are trained in a certain spirit and directees are guided in a different way and you have to find what works for you.  That's why when I shared I made sure to say it was my opinion about who I saw.  I do still think that it is absolutely necessary for a director to be trained.  I know what works for me and I've also read a lot of literature on spiritual direction and it is something that does require training and supervision.  These are our souls we are talking about.  If there is something wrong with your body, you go to the doctor and even a specialist if necessary.  I'd rather have a doctor who has sufficient training and is continually evaluated and assessed as to his effectiveness as a director.  I don't want a freelance doctor who has no accountability and I definitely don't want a freelance spiritual director.  

 

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm beating a dead horse but I don't want anyone to think that direction is something that anyone can give... it isn't and it is a very sacred and meaningful interaction.  I'm not saying that someone who is untrained is definitely a bad director.  What I am saying is that if you want to be sure you are really in a good spiritual direction situation you should seek a director who is trained.   

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

It is normal to pay a spiritual director.  I would never pay someone who wasn't formally trained as an SD but for someone who has gone through a spiritual direction program at an accredited university - its definitely appropriate to pay when able to.  Most spiritual directors will be flexible because they genuinely want to help people.  I go to a sister and I pay her 25 dollars per visit.  She told me I didn't have to but she's providing a service worth much more than that and her community relies on that income too.

 

Spiritual direction is not really the place for theological discussions so there will be a lot more talking about what you think and feel.  That is normal.  Direction is about how God is speaking to you through the circumstances of your life and you responding to God.  God speaks to everyone regardless of whether they understand all the theological intricacies of what they are experiencing.  

 

It is definitely not normal, regardless of gender, for spiritual direction to be in the confessional.  Maybe there is more to that story or I'm misreading what you wrote but that seems super weird to me.  You should always ask before revealing anything in spiritual direction under what circumstances the director would reveal it to another person so that you know from the beginning where you stand because it is not protected by the seal of confession.

 

My personal preference for a spiritual director FOR ME is a religious sister.  I would be open to going to a religious brother or priest but not to a lay person or a diocesan priest.  It's good to find someone who has lived experience of the type of life you are currently living.  Just my opinion though!  I hope you do decide to "bother" getting a spiritual director in the future - especially if you are discerning a vocation.  I know this is a broad statement to make and many people might disagree but I'm going to say it anyway - Anyone who wants to progress in the spiritual life NEEDS a spiritual director.  

 

 

Everything you have said may be correct i don't know, except the whole priest not being allowed to give spiritual direction in the confessional. I had a priest say directly to me to open up in the confessional and he can also be a kind of spiritual director, because i was looking for a spiritual director and had not one. And when i did have a spiritual director i too thought it was going to be a little more theological, but i see what your saying, perhaps there are some spiritual directors that have the theology side as well, i think i was expecting study or something. Perhaps a spiritual director is more like a confidant outside of the confessional that your supposed to trust un doubt-ably with most anything and will give advice when he or she feels appropriate, but is more of a good listener that won't tell anyone else what is going on except there own spiritual director if something urks them, of course all in the spirit of anonymity. I don't know but i think the title spiritual director surely hints at direction giver, does it not?

 

Oh also glad to hear you have a good spiritual director that fits your size jacket. :) and glad to here your still hankering to try seminary.

Edited March 24, 2014 by Tab'le De'Bah-Rye

[cappie]

No matter how much you esteem your strength of will, place yourself under the direction of another. ~ St. Comghall