OnlySunshine Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 (edited) My first and only spiritual director was a diocesan priest and it lasted a total of 4-5 months. I would see him about every two weeks unless it was Lent or Eastertide, in which case, I had to wait until after the season. I felt like I never gained anything from the relationship. More often than not, he would start falling asleep during our meetings or he would tell me that I knew the answer after he deflected the question back to me. I finally thought 'enough is enough' and just stopped asking for appointments. I sent him a card later saying that I appreciated that he was my spiritual director but I felt like I really didn't need spiritual direction at that point since I was in between religious communities and was taking a break. He never mentioned it, afterward. I tried to find another spiritual director but our diocese doesn't keep a list of known SDs. I contacted the retreat center but they only knew of a Sister from a religious community I had never heard of. She lived on her own so I couldn't really investigate whether or not her community was OK. After a while, I just stopped looking. I know I need spiritual direction, but I am so busy with school that I put it on the back burner for now. ETA: I also asked the Sisters in my parish but they do not do spiritual direction as they don't feel comfortable, so that was a 'no go.' Edited March 21, 2014 by MaterMisericordiae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted March 21, 2014 Share Posted March 21, 2014 I'm so happy for you, FP. My SD is a Sister and is really brilliant. She's very thoughtful and considerate. She's also hearing impaired and has a wicked sense of humour, so it makes for interesting conversation. She does charge for direction, but decided to waive it for me because I'm discerning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 FP, that sounds really sweet. I really am happy for you, and I won't call you Fr. Fetus since you are like 3 years older then me... :hehe: Thanks! But are you seriously three years younger than I am? I suddenly feel really old... :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 It is normal to pay a spiritual director. I would never pay someone who wasn't formally trained as an SD but for someone who has gone through a spiritual direction program at an accredited university - its definitely appropriate to pay when able to. Most spiritual directors will be flexible because they genuinely want to help people. I go to a sister and I pay her 25 dollars per visit. She told me I didn't have to but she's providing a service worth much more than that and her community relies on that income too. Spiritual direction is not really the place for theological discussions so there will be a lot more talking about what you think and feel. That is normal. Direction is about how God is speaking to you through the circumstances of your life and you responding to God. God speaks to everyone regardless of whether they understand all the theological intricacies of what they are experiencing. It is definitely not normal, regardless of gender, for spiritual direction to be in the confessional. Maybe there is more to that story or I'm misreading what you wrote but that seems super weird to me. You should always ask before revealing anything in spiritual direction under what circumstances the director would reveal it to another person so that you know from the beginning where you stand because it is not protected by the seal of confession. My personal preference for a spiritual director FOR ME is a religious sister. I would be open to going to a religious brother or priest but not to a lay person or a diocesan priest. It's good to find someone who has lived experience of the type of life you are currently living. Just my opinion though! I hope you do decide to "bother" getting a spiritual director in the future - especially if you are discerning a vocation. I know this is a broad statement to make and many people might disagree but I'm going to say it anyway - Anyone who wants to progress in the spiritual life NEEDS a spiritual director. I agree with you, but I'm not sure if you shouldn't have someone as a spiritual director who isn't formally trained as a spiritual director. My spiritual director isn't; he simply uses all that he was taught in seminary and in his experiences as a priest, and it's proved to be incredibly valuable. I would take him over a formally trained laymen any day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancilla Domini Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 (edited) I won't call you Fr. Fetus since you are like 3 years older then me... :hehe: Oh, that's no problem, Carter. I call many people who are older than I am "Kiddo" and other names like that, that are generally used for younger people. XD Edited March 22, 2014 by Ancilla Domini Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 Oh, that's no problem, Carter. I call many people who are older than I am "Kiddo" and other names like that, that are generally used for younger people. XD I will make it a priority to always call you a little girl. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartermia Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 3 years and eleven months ( I only know this since I just looked at your profile and did the math.) totally not a stalker :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancilla Domini Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 I will make it a priority to always call you a little girl. :P lol! Yeah, you do that, kid. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 lol! Yeah, you do that, kid. :P One day you will respect your elders, little girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancilla Domini Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 One day you will respect your elders, little girl. Oh, I do, child. But at 17, you are still my peer. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted March 22, 2014 Author Share Posted March 22, 2014 Oh, I do, child. But at 17, you are still my peer. :P You were born the year of 2000. You're practically a toddler! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ancilla Domini Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 You were born the year of 2000. You're practically a toddler! Pardon me, minion. I was born 1998! I'm practically senile. XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 Pardon me, minion. I was born 1998! I'm practically senile. XD :eek: Oh...my. While you were battling diaper rash, I was fighting a losing battle with algebra. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cartermia Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 ^ Omgosh your old :p I was born in 1999! (9/8/99) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted March 22, 2014 Share Posted March 22, 2014 ^ Omgosh your old :P I was born in 1999! (9/8/99) SHTAPP IT!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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