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My Spiritual Director Is Amazing


PhuturePriest

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PhuturePriest

Have I ever mentioned how amazing he is? Because he is. And even if you've heard about it, you're about to have your mind blown by how much he upstaged his previous kindness yesterday.

 

So we were having a meeting at this restaurant, and he asked me about my discernment. I told him I was planning to go ahead and apply for seminary this Fall, and he was thrilled, and he told me he would send a letter of recommendation to the seminary and (I assume) the Bishop, and he told me he would buy me a cassock since they're mandatory. He also said he would get me a private meeting with the Bishop if I wanted him to, since they were classmates in seminary. Furthermore, he gave me tons of advice about seminary life, told me not to worry about anything, and then later we discussed how he wanted to sell me his 2002 Ford Mustang for a low price so I could have a car to drive to seminary.

 

Must I go on? This man is amazing. My advice: get a spiritual director. My experiences have told me they are good for advice, letters of recommendation, and getting nice sports cars at discount prices.

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If you are indeed called to the priesthood, and you get ordained six or seven years down the line, venerable Phatmassers who remember your early days on this phorum will probably create a countdown thread for you called 'Father Fetus's Ordination' or something like that. Only they'll spell it phetus, of course.

 

On a (more) serious note - many prayers for you as you prepare to apply. :)

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PhuturePriest

If you are indeed called to the priesthood, and you get ordained six or seven years down the line, venerable Phatmassers who remember your early days on this phorum will probably create a countdown thread for you called 'Father Fetus's Ordination' or something like that. Only they'll spell it phetus, of course.

 

On a (more) serious note - many prayers for you as you prepare to apply. :)

 

I'd imagine that thread would be rather called "Sweet Jesus, Why?". ;)

 

And it would be six or seven years, actually. It would be around 9, to be precise, because I can't go to seminary until the Fall of 2015, and I won't get ordained until 8 years after that.

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PhuturePriest

Cool beans, brah.

 

One of these days we're going to go on that road trip wearing cassocks and driving in my Mustang, saying Masses all over the country and scandalizing people with our insanity.

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PhuturePriest

I gotta find a Spiritual Director with a Mustang...

 

Prayers for your continued discernment.

 

There's merit to be had with having a generous spiritual director who inherited a lot of money from his father. :P

 

Seriously, I hear about people with spiritual directors that demand to be paid and it shocks me. My spiritual director practically pays me, to be honest with you. He's always buying food/drinks for me, and absolutely refuses to let me buy anything for him.

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Dude, I am happy for you! It's probably because you're so good at making eye contact!

 

But seriously. That's really exciting. You really are going to be a futurepriest, and then I can pester you with all sorts of spiritual questions. 

 

wait.. does that mean we have to refer to you as father. They may be a little weird. 

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PhuturePriest

Dude, I am happy for you! It's probably because you're so good at making eye contact!

But seriously. That's really exciting. You really are going to be a futurepriest, and then I can pester you with all sorts of spiritual questions.

wait.. does that mean we have to refer to you as father. They may be a little weird.


If it makes you feel better, you can call me Father Fetus, or Father FuturePriest.
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Mine likes to cuss me out. She once came over and sedated me. (Legally, she's a nurse practitioner). She makes me do stuff all the time I hate. I'd get rid of her, but no one else would endure me. Kind of like my husband. He was the only one crazy enough to marry me, and he's certifiable.

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PhuturePriest

Mine likes to cuss me out. She once came over and sedated me. (Legally, she's a nurse practitioner). She makes me do stuff all the time I hate. I'd get rid of her, but no one else would endure me. Kind of like my husband. He was the only one crazy enough to marry me, and he's certifiable.

 

Well, no one can say that isn't a special relationship. :P

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There's merit to be had with having a generous spiritual director who inherited a lot of money from his father. :P

 

Seriously, I hear about people with spiritual directors that demand to be paid and it shocks me. My spiritual director practically pays me, to be honest with you. He's always buying food/drinks for me, and absolutely refuses to let me buy anything for him.

 

My past two spiritual directors required to be paid - I thought it was normal. one was a fee of $50 for an hour of spiritual direction which doiubled as formation for CV vocation with a person without any theological qualifications.

 

my next SD was a monk and his recommended donation was $50 - $90 per hour.

 

neither were very good. Whenever i had a question, they would say "well, what do YOU think?" then i'd answer and they'd say "you're absolutely right!". or when i'd ask about  parts of the summa or documents of the magisterium (which i had often brought with me), they'd say "i dont know, but the main thing is, Jesus loves you.".

the one before that was a priest, but as i am female, SD was behind a screen in a confessional - is this normal? he was quite good, but then he threatened to use stuff from the internal forum in my references to discourage me from applying for the CV vocation since he didnt believe it was a vocation.

most priests do not offer SD as are too busy, for all of mines i have had to travel about 6 - 8 hours  round trip. laypeople sometimes do, but then i am hesistant about lay SDs as many have just done a 3 week SD course and are very new agey with feel-good counselling with no sound, rigourous theological basis for their advice.

if you get a good SD, that is like gold dust for your spiritual life. personally once i get all the references i need, im not going to bother anymore. i do indeed pray for you FP387, in your vocation. we need many holy priests!!

Edited by oremus1
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FP, that sounds really sweet. I really am happy for you, and I won't call you Fr. Fetus since you are like 3 years older then me... :hehe:

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Sister Marie

My past two spiritual directors required to be paid - I thought it was normal. one was a fee of $50 for an hour of spiritual direction which doiubled as formation for CV vocation with a person without any theological qualifications.

 

my next SD was a monk and his recommended donation was $50 - $90 per hour.

 

neither were very good. Whenever i had a question, they would say "well, what do YOU think?" then i'd answer and they'd say "you're absolutely right!". or when i'd ask about  parts of the summa or documents of the magisterium (which i had often brought with me), they'd say "i dont know, but the main thing is, Jesus loves you.".

the one before that was a priest, but as i am female, SD was behind a screen in a confessional - is this normal? he was quite good, but then he threatened to use stuff from the internal forum in my references to discourage me from applying for the CV vocation since he didnt believe it was a vocation.

most priests do not offer SD as are too busy, for all of mines i have had to travel about 6 - 8 hours  round trip. laypeople sometimes do, but then i am hesistant about lay SDs as many have just done a 3 week SD course and are very new agey with feel-good counselling with no sound, rigourous theological basis for their advice.

if you get a good SD, that is like gold dust for your spiritual life. personally once i get all the references i need, im not going to bother anymore. i do indeed pray for you FP387, in your vocation. we need many holy priests!!

 

It is normal to pay a spiritual director.  I would never pay someone who wasn't formally trained as an SD but for someone who has gone through a spiritual direction program at an accredited university - its definitely appropriate to pay when able to.  Most spiritual directors will be flexible because they genuinely want to help people.  I go to a sister and I pay her 25 dollars per visit.  She told me I didn't have to but she's providing a service worth much more than that and her community relies on that income too.

 

Spiritual direction is not really the place for theological discussions so there will be a lot more talking about what you think and feel.  That is normal.  Direction is about how God is speaking to you through the circumstances of your life and you responding to God.  God speaks to everyone regardless of whether they understand all the theological intricacies of what they are experiencing.  

 

It is definitely not normal, regardless of gender, for spiritual direction to be in the confessional.  Maybe there is more to that story or I'm misreading what you wrote but that seems super weird to me.  You should always ask before revealing anything in spiritual direction under what circumstances the director would reveal it to another person so that you know from the beginning where you stand because it is not protected by the seal of confession.

 

My personal preference for a spiritual director FOR ME is a religious sister.  I would be open to going to a religious brother or priest but not to a lay person or a diocesan priest.  It's good to find someone who has lived experience of the type of life you are currently living.  Just my opinion though!  I hope you do decide to "bother" getting a spiritual director in the future - especially if you are discerning a vocation.  I know this is a broad statement to make and many people might disagree but I'm going to say it anyway - Anyone who wants to progress in the spiritual life NEEDS a spiritual director.  

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