nikita92 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 Let's also look at it like this- (just to be fair) A community of (mostly older) sisters of long standing with each other can make it seem like one is not very welcomed to join their (inner) circle ..I mean community! A religious community (outside of the very reason for being one) is in a sense..like a sorority! When you are accepted into one..you know it!!! When for some reason they really don't care to have you join them...(it's known as the blip on one's radar) they of course will be polite and give some "reason" why they feel you are not a "good fit" with them! Please don't anyone claim that this never happens! I have talked to other's who have tried entering well established communities with several older sisters in them.. and this type of example was described to me as how they were feeling about it! This topic was discussed in the past on here. It can feel very uncomfortable entering into a tight inner circle of women who like things just the way they are. My 2 cents say-Pray about it..yet while going with one's feelings is not the way...I say take everything into consideration! That "gut feeling" is a radar after all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benedictus Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 (edited) I can relate to this. I found a vocation director for a clerical order kept giving mixed messages, or so it felt like. Certain questions were side stepped on the application process and then I was told they'd let me know about come and see's the following year, when I already expressed some interest in applying for the current year. It was like banging my head against a wall of vague mist. In the end I asked what steps I'd need to take for us to mutually move closer towards applying, or not. I was actually, in a way, asking whether this was some short term delay or whether they really couldn't be warmed to process me. In the end I gathered, on the grape vine and plenty of not direct convo's later, that they were stalling people (including me) because of concerns over entrance numbers and places for formation. They created a sort of bottle neck! So it wasn't personal, but it felt like it at the time (it felt ike a major brush off!). I wish vocation promoters would be a bit more sensitive and communicate issues at their end as well, but obviously this doesn't always happen. Also bear in mind that a vocation director or novice master may not like you for some reason, but the other religious may do. The key person can be obstructive and delay things, but if you're keen on a community and they all don't act the same then perservere. But at the same time bear in mind that this could be a sign of troubled waters ahead and you might be better off applying elsewhere (or that you need to do something else before entering if you want to comply with their delays amicably) Edited March 17, 2014 by Benedictus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emma8201986 Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 If I felt that a community didn't want me, I would look elsewhere - period. If the sisters were all older and seemed cliquish, I would look elsewhere. I want to go where I am joyously welcomed. The community I am seriously discerning with has made me feel that way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue.Rose Posted March 17, 2014 Author Share Posted March 17, 2014 The thing is, I'm Australian and it's seems most of the communities here are older women. Or others are foreign from the same country. The community I'm interested in most of the Sisters are in their 30's so are about 10 years older than me but that's not the problem, they are mostly from another country and have all known each other since their postulant days. But because no one from my country has joined from this order before I was thinking maybe it's up to me to be the first? Other young Australian women could join after me perhaps. I really don't know of orders other than this one I could join. This order wears habits which is a rarity for Australia and they are complatative/active which I like since I don't feel drawn to being cloistered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anselm Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 I hope it won't sound rude if I suggest that a community of women in their 30s isn't really 'older'... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted March 17, 2014 Share Posted March 17, 2014 I'm 29...I'm so insulted right now... :rotfl2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Klarisse Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I hope it won't sound rude if I suggest that a community of women in their 30s isn't really 'older'... The key is in the two words after immediately after older: "than me" :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 The key is in the two words after immediately after older: "than me" :) In the initial post, though, it was just "older." I was picturing a cloister full of happy little clique-y gray-haired ladies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anselm Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 Exactly. Klarisse - you would have an excellent point...if Blue.Rose had ever said that...but she hasn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FutureSister2009 Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 The thing is, I'm Australian and it's seems most of the communities here are older women. Or others are foreign from the same country. The community I'm interested in most of the Sisters are in their 30's so are about 10 years older than me but that's not the problem, they are mostly from another country and have all known each other since their postulant days. But because no one from my country has joined from this order before I was thinking maybe it's up to me to be the first? Other young Australian women could join after me perhaps. I really don't know of orders other than this one I could join. This order wears habits which is a rarity for Australia and they are complatative/active which I like since I don't feel drawn to being cloistered. The Nashville Dominicans have a branch in Australia. Go look at them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I think the Religious Sisters of Mercy are in Australia, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benedictus Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I imagined a thirty or forty year age difference. In reality it's unlikely that most members will be in their early twenties. In my experience age doesn't necessarily mean you'll get on. If anything maybe joining with others is more helpful than the age of the members. But I think it depends on the individuals resolve and sense that's where they should be. It's also important to be able to build community with others across a wide age spectrum. In some congregations where members are moved around for various apostolates these strong bonds maybe less. But it's natural that people create fraternal bonds and I think it's positive, but I can see it could make some feel insecure when joining anew. Unless there's evidence any community behaviour is destructive then I wouldn't see it as negative. I mean if someone was joining a contemplative convent where the community is relatively settled I'd want to see a warm and relatively close community if they've been together for a while, possibly decades. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) I think the Religious Sisters of Mercy are in Australia, too. And there's an Australian RSM here in America...I made her laugh! :winner: Edited March 18, 2014 by SilentJoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 (edited) (sorry, double post) Edited March 18, 2014 by SilentJoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spem in alium Posted March 18, 2014 Share Posted March 18, 2014 I think the Religious Sisters of Mercy are in Australia, too. Yep, they are. At my uni too, which is awesome! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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