Update On Nonnovi!

[littlesister]

So happy for you.  God bless!

[TheresaThoma]

Congrats!!! Do you still have the same address? I was just thinking of sending you a note the other day but then popped on here to see this update! So exciting!

[NonNovi]

Congrats!!! Do you still have the same address? I was just thinking of sending you a note the other day but then popped on here to see this update! So exciting!

Yes, my adress is still the same. Thank you for the cards you have send me!

Please pray for me. Yesterday I got my first serious inflammation of Crohn's disease, with heavy bowel cramps that made me leave the chapel during Mass... Today I'm doing a lot better but it's not completely over yet.

[NonNovi]

Dear Phamily,

It has been 4 years since my last post and I don't know if there are still people around here who followed my story a bit. An update has become necessary though. In short: I left the community after 5 years. On the 27th of April, my temporary vows ended, and I didn't take any more vows. In 2018, I wasn't ready to take perpetual vows. There were important questions that still needed to be answered. So I made temporary vows again for 1 year, with the intention to discern even more intense where God is leading me and where He wants me.

This has been a fruitful year, with a lot of struggles and prayers. And God worked very hard on me. Slowly I started to understand a range of things I needed for a free and honest decision: the true identity of my community, who I really am, wich things made me unfree, of what I am actually capable, the desires God has put deep inside me etc. My SD told me that it's important to know what you want, and not what you don't want, wich was a very useful advice. In the months before Easter, I started to see that a lot of my thinking was really based on these negative kind of decisions, and I discovered the positive side. Wich eventually made me realise that God used the past years to give me a lot I really needed (and I will never regret them), but also that He made me to be something else, not a religious and not a priest. Wich wasn't easy to accept and I struggled with the decision to leave untill 2 weeks before vows ended.

So... I guess I don't need the catholic religious tag here anymore

[Kayte Postle]

@NonNovi It's really great to hear from you and hear what the Lord is doing in your life. I'll be praying for you as you transition back into lay life. You phamily is here to support you! 

[beatitude]

I remember you. It's good to hear from you again.

Thank you for your bravery and generosity in trying your vocation as a brother. You'll already know it, but the Church and the world benefit from every sincere effort we make, regardless of where it leads us, and I think that bears repeating often on a phorum like VS.

What you say about negative decision-making is very insightful. I've fallen into that trap too before now, and I expect we all do sometimes. I'm praying for you as you continue on your road.

[Pax17]

@NonNovi, I remember you as well.  Thank you for the update.  Blessings as you continue on your life's journey.

[Guest]

22 hours ago, beatitude said:

the Church and the world benefit from every sincere effort we make, regardless of where it leads us, and I think that bears repeating often on a phorum like VS.

[PhuturePriest]

On 8/9/2019 at 7:53 AM, NonNovi said:

Dear Phamily,

It has been 4 years since my last post and I don't know if there are still people around here who followed my story a bit. An update has become necessary though. In short: I left the community after 5 years. On the 27th of April, my temporary vows ended, and I didn't take any more vows. In 2018, I wasn't ready to take perpetual vows. There were important questions that still needed to be answered. So I made temporary vows again for 1 year, with the intention to discern even more intense where God is leading me and where He wants me.

This has been a fruitful year, with a lot of struggles and prayers. And God worked very hard on me. Slowly I started to understand a range of things I needed for a free and honest decision: the true identity of my community, who I really am, wich things made me unfree, of what I am actually capable, the desires God has put deep inside me etc. My SD told me that it's important to know what you want, and not what you don't want, wich was a very useful advice. In the months before Easter, I started to see that a lot of my thinking was really based on these negative kind of decisions, and I discovered the positive side. Wich eventually made me realise that God used the past years to give me a lot I really needed (and I will never regret them), but also that He made me to be something else, not a religious and not a priest. Wich wasn't easy to accept and I struggled with the decision to leave untill 2 weeks before vows ended.

So... I guess I don't need the catholic religious tag here anymore

Hey NonNovi, good to hear from you again! I am happy to hear that God has been working so clearly in your life, even if it wasn't in the way that you had originally wanted or imagined. A beautiful line in one of the Vatican II documents is that "God reveals man to himself." Like you, I've learned in the seminary that God moves your heart in so many interesting ways while in formation, and, in a sense, he uses formation to reveal you to yourself, while also revealing Himself to you more explicitly. And in the process, he makes us understand our desires better and directs us towards his will more freely and joyfully. I remember your old posts and the joy and passion you had for religious life and priesthood, so I know it must have been difficult for you to give that up as God slowly revealed your desires to yourself -- but that is also why I respect you so much. Many have not had the courage to do accept this and go on anyway to disastrous results, and it's heartening to see that you trust that your desires were planted in your heart by God, and that he would not ask you to follow them if they did not lead to a joy and peace far beyond what religious life and priesthood could have ever offered you. 

Thank you for trusting God, and thank you for updating us! I rarely come on here anymore, but I was glad to see you had updated and it was good to see you again.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, PhuturePriest said:

I rarely come on here anymore, but I was glad to see you

Really good to see you as well PP.  God continue to bless your journey and reveal you to yourself, and Himself to you more explicitly.

Great Post, PP.  Thank you.

[beatitude]

7 hours ago, PhuturePriest said:

Hey NonNovi, good to hear from you again! I am happy to hear that God has been working so clearly in your life, even if it wasn't in the way that you had originally wanted or imagined. A beautiful line in one of the Vatican II documents is that "God reveals man to himself." Like you, I've learned in the seminary that God moves your heart in so many interesting ways while in formation, and, in a sense, he uses formation to reveal you to yourself, while also revealing Himself to you more explicitly. And in the process, he makes us understand our desires better and directs us towards his will more freely and joyfully. I remember your old posts and the joy and passion you had for religious life and priesthood, so I know it must have been difficult for you to give that up as God slowly revealed your desires to yourself -- but that is also why I respect you so much. Many have not had the courage to do accept this and go on anyway to disastrous results, and it's heartening to see that you trust that your desires were planted in your heart by God, and that he would not ask you to follow them if they did not lead to a joy and peace far beyond what religious life and priesthood could have ever offered you. 

Thank you for trusting God, and thank you for updating us! I rarely come on here anymore, but I was glad to see you had updated and it was good to see you again.

FP, I was only thinking of you this morning! I pray for you all the time (well, not literally all the time, but you know what I mean). t's good to hear from you too.

[PhuturePriest]

On 8/11/2019 at 7:51 AM, beatitude said:

FP, I was only thinking of you this morning! I pray for you all the time (well, not literally all the time, but you know what I mean). t's good to hear from you too.

Thank you! I rarely come on anymore, but it means a lot to know that people still remember me and pray for me. I'm leaving next week for my last year of college seminary, and then we'll see what happens next!

[beatitude]

23 minutes ago, PhuturePriest said:

Thank you! I rarely come on anymore, but it means a lot to know that people still remember me and pray for me. I'm leaving next week for my last year of college seminary, and then we'll see what happens next!

I once promised you that I and other Phatmassers would turn up to your ordination carrying a banner reading 'Ad multos annos, Phather Phetus'. I will of course keep praying until I have discharged that promise.

[PhuturePriest]

6 hours ago, beatitude said:

I once promised you that I and other Phatmassers would turn up to your ordination carrying a banner reading 'Ad multos annos, Phather Phetus'. I will of course keep praying until I have discharged that promise.

It would be my honor to have to explain that confusing situation to my bishop. Then again, I probably wouldn't explain it, because no amount of explanation could possibly clarify the matter for him.

[NonNovi]

Thank you everyone, for those kind reactions. Good to hear from you too, FP! Nice to see you're in seminary now.

Just to let you know how the story continued: After my vows ended, I was allowed to stay as a guest at the motherhouse and to continue the studies as an "external student" for the rest of the semester, so I'd have the best chances for transitioning to the pontifical theological college of Heiligenkreuz (near Vienna) to finish the theological studies (4 semesters to go) and get a degree.

When summer started, I really needed another place to live and a job, to start earning money to be able to pay for living and studying. I made a pilgrimage to a marian sanctuary with the boyscouts, and everybody had to write down some prayer intentions. When I got back that night, I had an email: "Still need a place to live and a job? I've got something for you, just call this number." Thank you, Mary!

Then there was the problem of how to move to a place 2 hours away by car. As a very active order, everybody needed his gear, and it's surprising how much stuff one can gather in a few years and with a vow of poverty, at least in comparison to other communities. Also here, holy providence kicked in. Right after I asked the house superior if they could help me move and provide a car, my future boss called that he was in the neighbourhood and could take me with him. For wich I was very unprepared, but this was so obviously from God, that it would be stupid to not grab the chance. So I managed to pack my room together in 2 hours, get everything in the van and left the motherhouse very suddenly for a new destination and a new life as a layman.

So now I live and work in a small hotel in the city as a waiter. Wich is hard and exhausting, because I work late and I'm not used to getting late in bed anymore. In the morning I still rise early to go to daily Mass, I really hope I'll physically be able to continue that. Especially because there is adoration untill and right after Mass, so I have 15 minutes of that also each morning. And the hotel is one rosary away from the church. I'm finding a new rythm to live. For now, I'm just seeing where everything goes. I doubt that I will make enough money to continue studying in fall, but actually that's not the most important thing to me now. I need to settle back into the world again and be more or less independant. That will take some time, but I notice God's presence everywhere, wich is comforting when things are tough.