Sexting, Shame, And Suicide

[Lil Red]

http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/sexting-shame-and-suicide-20130917

 

I read this article and I just want to throw up. 

 

Rape stats may be no higher than in years past, but the numbers are as shocking as ever. Every two minutes, a sexual assault happens in the U.S., and nearly 50 percent of the victims are under the age of 18, according to Katherine Hull, a spokeswoman for the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network: "The demographic of high school- and college-age women is at highest risk for sexual assault." More than half of the incidents go unreported, advocates say. The ability to record and communicate gang-sex assaults has added a new enhancement to an old and ugly crime against women. From Instagram to Snapchat to texting, young people with raging hormones and low impulse control are passing around what amounts to child pornography. And the bodies most frequently watched and passed around are female.

 

"It's a perfect storm of technology and hormones," says lawyer Lori Andrews, director of the Institute for Science, Law and Technology in Chicago. "Teen sexting is all a way of magnifying girls' fantasies of being a star of their own movies, and boys locked in a room bragging about sexual conquest."

But as of yet the law provides little protection to the rights of those violated. Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act effectively means that no Internet provider can be forced to take down content for invading a person's privacy or even defaming them. "I could sue The New York Times for invading my privacy or Rolling Stone for defaming me," Andrews says. "But I couldn't sue and get my picture off a website called sluttyseventhgraders."

The flip side of this ugly trend is that when gang-rape participants and bystanders record and disseminate pictures of an assault, public outrage is inflamed and cops and prosecutors have evidence they can take to court. This can mean rape victims get more justice than in years past. Arguably, the Steubenville rape would never have been prosecuted without the video. However, since so many of the incidents involve juveniles, punishment is neither swift nor certain.

Prosecutors all over the nation are facing the same social and legal quandary: How do you protect young women from not just sexual assault but the magnification of those assaults via the Internet? How much punishment can they mete out to boys, who in many cases are only a year or two removed from childhood, who seem to think they are committing pranks with phones and passed-out girls, and for whom the ultimate charge – rape – means the end of their lives before they start? Finally, how do you instill in impulse-driven teens of both sexes the knowledge that whatever they record on their phones and send can reach the entire world and stay public forever?

[Lil Red]

Writer Laurie Halse Anderson published an influential book in 1999 called Speak, about a high school rape and its effects on a victim. Since then, she has spoken at high schools and middle schools around the U.S., and estimates she has talked to a million kids about rape. "What really strikes me is that, when it comes to recording sexual assaults and wanting to show it off, the young men committing them are not seeing them as crimes, they see them as pranks. And there's no point in pulling a prank unless you share it." Anderson said parents and educators need to talk to younger boys about informed consent. "When I speak to students, I tell boys that if a young woman isn't of age, she isn't capable of giving informed consent, and if she's drunk or high, there's no informed consent. And those cases, if you have sex, you can go to jail. And the jaws drop, because right away, they think of the sex they had at a party last weekend, where everybody was wasted."

[arfink]

"But as of yet the law provides little protection to the rights of those violated. Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act effectively means that no Internet provider can be forced to take down content for invading a person's privacy or even defaming them."

 

Right, because the web host, and ultimately the web-maser of the site is the body responsible, not the Internet provider.

[oremus1]

 

Writer Laurie Halse Anderson published an influential book in 1999 called Speak, about a high school rape and its effects on a victim. Since then, she has spoken at high schools and middle schools around the U.S., and estimates she has talked to a million kids about rape. "What really strikes me is that, when it comes to recording sexual assaults and wanting to show it off, the young men committing them are not seeing them as crimes, they see them as pranks. And there's no point in pulling a prank unless you share it." Anderson said parents and educators need to talk to younger boys about informed consent. "When I speak to students, I tell boys that if a young woman isn't of age, she isn't capable of giving informed consent, and if she's drunk or high, there's no informed consent. And those cases, if you have sex, you can go to jail. And the jaws drop, because right away, they think of the sex they had at a party last weekend, where everybody was wasted."

 

This is very true. I personally know some guys who consider the following to be consent to haivng fornication a) dating a guy for a certain amount of time b) being provocatively dressed and dancing immodestly c) kissing . if you do the above, these guys dont take 'no' seriously. they thing you are playing around. then if the guy is said that he sexually assualted or raped a girl, he will say 'but i couldnt ... she was my girlfriend'. i think date rape is common especially among good catholic girls dating secular guys, where refusing to have relations is seen as a tease or a game. then these girls are afraid to report it, because secular police etc will not take it serioulsy if you were dating a guy for X  months and refused to have relations with him. or if a guy friend assaulted the girl, that is not taken seriously as women no longer have any modesty -  if your bf or a guy friend grabbed your breast or something, this is not seen as a violation anymore. we live in a society where people generally have sexual relations after a month of knowing and dating someone on average, so dating for months with nothing is seen as very weird. And there is another factor - the body and its responses are biological. if a girl is raped or assaulted by her bf, and her body responds positively n a physical way to the stimulation, that is also considered as consent, even if she did try to fight him off.  and obvioulsy she is not going to report something like that. and he will asser she enjoyed it therefore it is not rape/assault.

then if she talks about it to the catholic church, everyone will tell her the story of St Maria Goretti, patron saint of sexual purity who defended her virginity to the death, rather than consent to being raped, since good girls do not get sexually assaulted. this neglects a) no-one consents to rape. b) being raped is not a sin c) most women do not get the choice of being killed - many were simply overpowered and held down by a much stronger guy. some women indeed would have preferred to be martyred than to live with the aftermath of such a degrading experience 

[PhuturePriest]

This is just sickening.

[truthfinder]

if a girl is raped or assaulted by her bf, and her body responds positively n a physical way to the stimulation, that is also considered as consent, even if she did try to fight him off.  and obvioulsy she is not going to report something like that. and he will asser she enjoyed it therefore it is not rape/assault.

then if she talks about it to the catholic church, everyone will tell her the story of St Maria Goretti, patron saint of sexual purity who defended her virginity to the death, rather than consent to being raped, since good girls do not get sexually assaulted. this neglects a) no-one consents to rape. b) being raped is not a sin c) most women do not get the choice of being killed - many were simply overpowered and held down by a much stronger guy. some women indeed would have preferred to be martyred than to live with the aftermath of such a degrading experience

Interestingly enough, there was a Law & Order: SVU episode that dealt with the exact issue you mentioned - the body responding one way when there is not verbal/clear consent.

People may indeed tell St Maria Goretti's story, but I think the key in her story is that she was more concerned about her attacker's soul by the act he was to commit, than an 'actual' loss of virginity. Further, regardless of what individual church members may say, the church still teaches that rape does not equate a loss of virginity. (Some historians even surmise that that St. Agnes, virgin and martyr, would have been raped by the Romans before her death because of their own superstitions, and need to make sure she didn't die a virgin, and yet the church has venerated her as such.)

I think that's about all I'm going to say on this topic; it's so complex and delicate, and I don't think this forum always keeps that in mind.

[PhuturePriest]

Interestingly enough, there was a Law & Order: SVU episode that dealt with the exact issue you mentioned - the body responding one way when there is not verbal/clear consent.

People may indeed tell St Maria Goretti's story, but I think the key in her story is that she was more concerned about her attacker's soul by the act he was to commit, than an 'actual' loss of virginity. Further, regardless of what individual church members may say, the church still teaches that rape does not equate a loss of virginity. (Some historians even surmise that that St. Agnes, virgin and martyr, would have been raped by the Romans before her death because of their own superstitions, and need to make sure she didn't die a virgin, and yet the church has venerated her as such.)

I think that's about all I'm going to say on this topic; it's so complex and delicate, and I don't think this forum always keeps that in mind.

 

Have you heard some Church members say otherwise?

[arfink]

Have you heard some Church members say otherwise?

 

Norseman did, or came very close. :P

[PhuturePriest]

Norseman did, or came very close. :P

 

Well, that's alarming.

[truthfinder]

The suggestion was also implied by the mention of St. Maria Goretti.

[Ice_nine]

I've heard that it's possible that St. Maria Goretti was  physically raped, but still remained a virgin in the eyes of the church. I've also heard it's likely that St Joan of Arc was a rape victim because of her being imprisoned with men.

I think that this is obviously a sensitive topic, but I wish that, if there are examples of women who were sexually assaulted and became sainted after death, that these examples were a bit more advertised or at least available to rape victims today. I think for religious women and girls who suffer sexual assault these examples would help solidify that sainthood is still possible after rape and that the act committed against you does not reflect on your level of holiness.

 

But the annals and folklore of the saints have been weirdly silent on this issue.

Edited March 12, 2014 by Ice_nine

[oremus1]

Have you heard some Church members say otherwise?

They are saying she said "death but not sin" and was killed because she would not consent to rape, and was therefore made patron of sexual purity.

 

then when i say "no-one consents to rape" and "most rape vicims are not given a choice and would rather be killed than be degraded" they say "yes...but she died preserving her virginity and fighting off her attacker". Sometimes you can't. sometimes  guys will just hold you down and they are stronger.

 

i have not been raped, but on insisting on modesty when dating as a youngster, i have come across some such situations, and the worst part is that these guys do not think they have done anything wrong. i think , in particular, date rape on student campuses is far more common than reported.