Being Married & Alone With Opposite Sex

[blazeingstar]

My FI and I don't have to worry about this for the most part because his closest friend who's a female became a nun years ago, and my closest male friend is now in seminary.

 

I do have a single male friend, but he's two decades older than me and has been like a father to me for 6+ years.  He's one of two people (the other being a nun) who taught me about God.  My fiancee is fine with us spending time together, just as I would be ok with him talking with his mom.  Given my family situation, it's understandable.  He has a pseudo grandma and he's never had any reason to be alone with her, but if she called and said she needed him to come help with housework for a day and I wasn't invited, I wouldn't mind.

 

I have other male friends, but life happens....I'm not really so close to them that I'd really want to be alone with them to do something....but I think that's a natural part of being in a romantic relationship.  Now that I'm in one I certinally don't seek male friends....nor does my fiancee seek female friends.

 

Work-

After my friend's husband posted a joke about his work wife my fiancee and I had a long conversation about work relationships.  That doesn't seem appropriate to have a "work wife"...the door is wide open for bad behavior.  As for my FI,  he works in a male dominated industry but is very careful if he's ever working with a woman because it takes 30 seconds to have your reputation ruined.

 

For me, I work in a very mixed industry where "everything goes" and there are several co-workers in various escapades with others.  When my fiancee came to eat dinner with me one night I introduced him to a few of my co workers.  One pretended to be busy, unbenoced to me (I LITERALLY had no idea) this man had a crush.  Since then he has been miserable to me and has spread it around the office that I'm a "cold b****h".  I didn't even talk to the guy.  I have learned through that, it is not good to do anything with the opposite gender because the slightest friendliness can be seen as affection.    Not worth it.

 

A note about emotional intimacy.  It can happen in a non-sexual way with same gender relationships.  There are several focus on the family articles about woman's groups and how they often tear down marriages.

Edited February 27, 2014 by blazeingstar

[dUSt]

It's only ok if one or both of the friends are really ugly. You should never attempt an outside-of-marriage opposite sex friendship if both people are attractive. It's not me saying this, it's science.

 

This makes it very difficult for me because I can only be friends with ugly girls.

 

And, since I do not dig hanging with ugly people--I am limited to one female friend--but she is gay, not ugly.

[Guest]

Lmbo well said Dust way to keep it 100...

Edited February 27, 2014 by Guest

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

In marriage i think acquaintances that are the opposite sex is fine like work colleagues and even outside of work. But friends and best friends of the opposite sex is kind of dicey unless there best friends with you husband or wife. It can lead to the thought of blowing off your hubby for a friend of the same gender as your hubby, it is very dangerous grounds because we're human beings and such situations can become a temptation to infidelity in word, thought and or deed with or without sex. St paul warns against such relationships when he says " Do not talk to a married women about matters of faith." I assume he was talking to a single man, which i think also is not a gender biased thing because he was talking universally but directly to a single man and this thought pattern applies to both genders in that the husband should be the main stay of the wife and visa versa in matters of faith and morals outside of official church teaching. In truth i think phatmass should also have a thing about that in the profile as being married or single.  

 

Jesus iz LORD.

Edited February 27, 2014 by Tab'le De'Bah-Rye

[The Bus Station]

It's only ok if one or both of the friends are really ugly. You should never attempt an outside-of-marriage opposite sex friendship if both people are attractive. It's not me saying this, it's science.

 

This makes it very difficult for me because I can only be friends with ugly girls.

 

And, since I do not dig hanging with ugly people--I am limited to one female friend--but she is gay, not ugly.