organwerke Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 When I was first coming to terms with being gay -- when I really started to be out to myself -- I was very torn. I was discerning religious life and stopped because of this. At one point, I decided to keep discerning, sure that if God wanted me in religious life that I would end up there. But it became very hard to have a fruitful discernment because all I could think of when I would sit to pray was the psychological exam. The questionnaires. The interviews. I was brought to tears thinking of the heartache of being told that I would not be able to be a sister because I have an attraction to women -- an attraction that, at the time, was not particularly overwhelming or distracting. It was awful. I stopped discerning. I decided everything I had felt and seen was wrong, that I'd misinterpreted. I was devastated. It took nearly six years to admit all of that in confession and hear for the first time that my homosexuality did not mean I was not called to religious life. That priest gave me great comfort and encouraged me to talk again to my spiritual director and to ask God for direction. He assured me that if God wanted me unto Himself and I was open to Him, it would be -- no matter what. Do I think it should be something people gloss over and don't ask questions about? No. Because I also convinced myself at one point that every inclination I'd had toward the convent was to mask the inclinations I had toward romantic love for women. It was a real possibility. It took a lot of talking and praying and digging to find out if that was really my truth. So, no, I don't think it should ever be a definitive, at least as it concerns religious life. As far as diocesan priesthood is concerned, I don't know, nor do I assume to know what's best. I've no experience and no real knowledge of that particular vocation, and so I cannot and will not speak on that. I'm sure someone here has more information than I do and would be a better response. I imagine all this should have been very difficult for you and I really admire your courage and the fact that you are still in the Church and faithful and a good witness with your experience, and also that you have the courage to tell all these very private and important things here. I am very sorry for your vocation but i don't think it is an impossible life for you. Of course it depends also on you,, on how you would feel living with other women, on how happy you could be. Honestly, I don't think you should have doubts on the fact that you wouldn't be able to be a sister only because you have this attraction. At least, in my opinion, I see you very mature to take a decision with all the seriousness involved. Another thing is if you fear you could suffer in a way that could bring to you too much stress. But I don't think you should completely close this door only due to fear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 to be fair, the song is a parody of Macklemore's same love where he makes the comparison between black civil rights struggles and fights over homosexual civil rights... but macklemore's comparison is just between those two struggles to be treated fairly and not discriminated against or hated. the response where this rapper turns it into a "who is persecuted worse" contest I think was rather inappropriate and inaccurate. As I mentioned, gay people can often experience hate and discrimination from the people closest to them, like their families, etc, and are often psychologically abused to the point of suicide... so while you might say black people have it worse for being easily recognizable, there are entirely different problems that can make gay people's struggles different, and in some ways worse even if they're not easily recognizable in public like skin color can be. it's not a perfect analogy, in some ways the one group has it worse and in other ways the other group has it worse... both have definite problems that need to be addressed from a standpoint of civil rights and not allowing discrimination, which is the point of Macklemore's comparison... though of course he uses it to argue gay marriage as a civil right, so there is that, but there are other things gay people deal with for which the comparison to a civil rights issue are definitely apt. They're discriminated against in different ways. For instance, I've never heard of a black man being bullied so much in school because of his ancestry that he ended up killing himself (NOT saying that's never happened, but just that I've never heard about that happening). At the same time, gay people have never been enslaved (To my knowledge). But as I said before, I don't agree with making a contest of who's had it worse. It's unhealthy and it distracts from actually fixing the problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 They're discriminated against in different ways. For instance, I've never heard of a black man being bullied so much in school because of his ancestry that he ended up killing himself (NOT saying that's never happened, but just that I've never heard about that happening). At the same time, gay people have never been enslaved (To my knowledge). But as I said before, I don't agree with making a contest of who's had it worse. It's unhealthy and it distracts from actually fixing the problem. They were, however, thrown into concentration camps by the German national socialists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mortify ii Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Franciscan Heart, you may or may not find this of interest, but lately Vox Clamantis (owner of Fish Easters) started a thread on the experience of homosexuals that are also traditional Catholics. Some VERY interesting posts! http://catholicforum.fisheaters.com/index.php/topic,3463606.0.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 They were, however, thrown into concentration camps by the German national socialists. Valid point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Bus Station Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 (edited) I just want to reiterate what FH said about SSA and the religious life. I've been told firsthand by religious from different orders that, in many communities, SSA applicants are dealt with on an individual basis. I should note that these religious acquaintances of mine are from legit orthodox communities. So yes, you can haz SSA and religious vocationz w00t. Edited February 28, 2014 by The Bus Station Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 (edited) Franciscan Heart, you may or may not find this of interest, but lately Vox Clamantis (owner of Fish Easters) started a thread on the experience of homosexuals that are also traditional Catholics. Some VERY interesting posts! http://catholicforum.fisheaters.com/index.php/topic,3463606.0.html I thought these posts in particular were very insightful: I think that understanding that since same-sex attraction is a disorder, it's not easy to categorize and treat SSA as a "cookie cutter" temptation. For example, what may be a clear occasion of sin for one homosexual person may be completely neutral, or even spiritually helpful, for another. The example, for me, is community life. Some have raised the point with me before, when saying that I would like to live in a religious community, that being in the constant company of men would be a temptation...what they don't understand, though, is that for me, building strong, fraternal, chaste relationships with other men is helpful in the struggle against sin. For some, though, this may not be the case. SSA is like any other disorder--it may wax and wane, be stronger for some than others, and manifest itself in various ways. Not everyone who is "depressed" manifests the same symptoms, or endures the same experiences. Not everyone who suffers from, I don't know, high blood pressure, or diabetes experiences the same things. I can agree with your experience. When I build healthy male friendships, with good men, I feel little to no sextual desire towards them. It's very fascinating that he says community life helps him fight against temptations. It definitely makes you question the commonly held belief that gay men/women can't be in religious communities because of the overwhelming temptations they'll endure. Edited February 28, 2014 by FuturePriest387 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dUSt Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Which reminds me: I'm a Hispanic, lesbian, Catholic woman. Do I need to count all the minority groups for you? ;) You're Hispanic!?!? Dude. Could have told me that before I invested so much time and energy into our relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 You're Hispanic!?!? Dude. Could have told me that before I invested so much time and energy into our relationship. I like playing white. :ohno: I know: I should be ashamed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mortify ii Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 White is beautiful too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winchester Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Race is a granfaloon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Race is a granfaloon. You're face is a granfaloon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
franciscanheart Posted March 1, 2014 Author Share Posted March 1, 2014 :doh: YOUR, FP. YOUR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotreDame Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 They were, however, thrown into concentration camps by the German national socialists. And persecuted in Cuba by the communists under castro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 :doh: YOUR, FP. YOUR. Every grammar Nazi is allowed one typo every now and then. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to tar myself as a penance... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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