Decline Of Marriage And Possible Solutions To Reverse The Trend

[CatherineM]

Actually, in a sense, it goes hand-in-hand with the title of this thread. If a man or woman is looking to do things God's way and get married, but marriage is on the decline, that makes the task of finding a suitable spouse all the more difficult, since so many will not make themselves available for marriage, but instead be following the secular/pagan morality, or giving up on marriage altogether (such as being brainwashed by the so-called "single vocation"). The only saving grace is that there may be less competition from your own gender, provided that they don't try to act paganly with and defile someone who could be a suitable spouse for you.

There's no doubt in my mind that I couldn't have met my husband had it not been for Ave Maria. Father Groeschel told me to look around at church to see how many men there were my age. There were two, a married man with six kids and the priest. He told me they are out there, just harder to find.

[havok579257]

That's simply not true.  In many dysfunctional marriages, it isn't uncommon to see one spouse pulling more weight than the other spouse for no good reason.  In this day and age, there is no reason why both spouses should not be working.  Most couples are not having 8-10 kids like they did in the distant past because modern medicine greatly improves the odds of surviving until adulthood.  I can understand taking 1-2 years off to be by the child's side, but there is absolutely no reason to forsake an entire career over 1-2 children.

 

 

 

so having a stay at home parent is not good for children?  guess not in your world since you believe both spouses should be working.  which means a child goes to daycare.  which means someone else raises your child the majority of their 18 years.  gee and you wonder why society is on a decline.  maybe its because everyone puts their wants and needs in front of their childrens.  honestly, if its financially possible there is no reason a child should be in daycare.  he should be raised by his parents not daycare workers.  although apparently you don't think this way.  

 

since you seem to be happier about how it was in the 50's, well i got news for you, both parents didn't work.  one stayed home to raise the children and one supported the family financially.  it seemed to work pretty good back then.  why do you prefer the current model which helps the decline of society?

[arfink]

Actually, in a sense, it goes hand-in-hand with the title of this thread.  If a man or woman is looking to do things God's way and get married, but marriage is on the decline, that makes the task of finding a suitable spouse all the more difficult, since so many will not make themselves available for marriage, but instead be following the secular/pagan morality, or giving up on marriage altogether (such as being brainwashed by the so-called "single vocation").  The only saving grace is that there may be less competition from your own gender, provided that they don't try to act paganly with and defile someone who could be a suitable spouse for you. 

 

Well, nobody has the right to a spouse, just as nobody has the right to tell a religious community that they must accept them. The hard reality is that changing society will do nothing about that. God calls us to holiness, and all these specifics about marriage are entirely up to individuals. Certainly the Church upholds the goodness of marriage, but never has the Church insisted that all should be either married or consecrated, only that all should be perfect as their Heavenly Father is perfect.

 

As for Catholic women opened to marriage who have been "defiled," we've been over this before. Bitterness over past losses serves no purpose but to close us off to any good that God might do for us in the future.

[havok579257]

That's simply not true.  In many dysfunctional marriages, it isn't uncommon to see one spouse pulling more weight than the other spouse for no good reason.  In this day and age, there is no reason why both spouses should not be working.  Most couples are not having 8-10 kids like they did in the distant past because modern medicine greatly improves the odds of surviving until adulthood.  I can understand taking 1-2 years off to be by the child's side, but there is absolutely no reason to forsake an entire career over 1-2 children.

 

 

 

your absolutely right because in many marriages the wife raises the children, cleans the house, cooks dinner, gets everyone to where they need to be, does all the shopping, does all the scheduling, does the bills, does some home repair, teach the children and help them learn, support them at school functions and so on.  where as the man only works a single job.  i completely agree in a lot of cases, its unfair to a spouse, lots of times its women.

[Ice_nine]

Lol nobody on here knows about my personal life to that degree and I intend to keep it that way.  I would not ask a random stranger online what position they used the first time because it's not my business.  But fyi I have been doing only a little bit of dating, not because I can't get a girl to like me, but because I am moving to another state soon for job reasons.  Hence, there would be no practical purpose for pursuing someone hardcore, because I'm not staying and I don't want a one night stand.

 

so um listen, can I have yo number?

[Norseman82]

so having a stay at home parent is not good for children?  guess not in your world since you believe both spouses should be working.  which means a child goes to daycare.  which means someone else raises your child the majority of their 18 years.  gee and you wonder why society is on a decline.  maybe its because everyone puts their wants and needs in front of their childrens.  honestly, if its financially possible there is no reason a child should be in daycare.  he should be raised by his parents not daycare workers.  although apparently you don't think this way.  

 

since you seem to be happier about how it was in the 50's, well i got news for you, both parents didn't work.  one stayed home to raise the children and one supported the family financially.  it seemed to work pretty good back then.  why do you prefer the current model which helps the decline of society?

 

In the case of the last lady I dated, she told me that when both her parents worked, her grandparents looked after her and her siblings, so that could be a viable option as well. 

[Norseman82]

Well, nobody has the right to a spouse, just as nobody has the right to tell a religious community that they must accept them. The hard reality is that changing society will do nothing about that. God calls us to holiness, and all these specifics about marriage are entirely up to individuals. Certainly the Church upholds the goodness of marriage, but never has the Church insisted that all should be either married or consecrated, only that all should be perfect as their Heavenly Father is perfect.

 

 

"It is not good for the man to be alone" - God.

[the171]

"It is not good for the man to be alone" - God.

You can't just post a quote without commentary especially if it's hella cryptic.

[the171]

Norseman and Polski should be BFFs.

[Norseman82]

You can't just post a quote without commentary especially if it's hella cryptic.

 

I don't see what is so cryptic about it. 

[the171]

I don't see what is so cryptic about it.

Are you saying that religious life isn't needed because man or woman would be "alone"? (You've expressed similar sentiments in the past) or are you saying something else? I honestly don't know.

[Norseman82]

Are you saying that religious life isn't needed because man or woman would be "alone"? (You've expressed similar sentiments in the past) or are you saying something else? I honestly don't know.

 

People who are in religious/ordained life have (or should have) discerned whether or not they can handle lifelong celibacy, which includes not only the physical self-control aspect, but also the emotional aspect of whether or not you can handle not having children and grandchildren when you see others your age that have them (this is not something I made up, it came from a seminarian (now ordained) who spoke at a "Seminarian Sunday" Mass).  Christ Himself, when He spoke about those who became "eunuchs for the kingdom", said that not everyone could accept the teaching, only those whom it was given.  So, some have been given the gift of celibacy and the graces to handle it, and are now ordained or in religious life (like the last lady I dated).  Others do not have this gift, and so they seek marriage (if they are doing things God's way).

 

I hope this helps to clarify things. 

[arfink]

"It is not good for the man to be alone" - God.

 

Yes, as opposed to "It is not good for the man to be without conjugal relations."

[Norseman82]

Yes, as opposed to "It is not good for the man to be without conjugal relations."

 

And that's where St. Paul clarifies things in 1 Cor. 7 where it is written that it is better to marry than burn, and to avoid immorality, everyone should have their own spouse. 

[arfink]

True, but that doesn't give you a right to a spouse and also doesn't establish a requirement to marry, even if you're not going to be a religious.