I Think I Might Be Back On Vs...

[EmilyAnn]

Not to sound like a complainer here and all of you are posting very good reminders, however, I feel like if I say something about what I think God is calling me to, people (not even just on VS) tend to tell me that I could be wrong and that I should be skeptical regardless about what vocation I am discussing. Shouldn't there be more faith in this matter? Is it wrong for me to follow the conviction of the Holy Spirit? I know you all mean well but I tend to feel that when I am on Phatmass, I am often written off. Maybe you all are right. Maybe everything is in my head. However, I doubt it. You all can continue this thread but I don't see the gain for me to continue defending myself. Thank you all for your prayers! God bless!

 

Yes, you should have faith and yes you should follow where the Holy Spirit leads you. A little skepticism is healthy in these matters though.

 

I don't contribute much to VS anymore but I do lurk so I have seen a lot of what you have posted over your time here. The regular VSers, like me, have seen your journey and I think it has come across sometimes that you 'flip' between "I'm called to religious life" and "I'm called to marriage" seemingly at the slightest 'sign'. You have, now and in the past, seemed anxious for a definitive 'this is my vocation'. I don't say any of this to criticise, but to try and explain why people may encourage skepticism. Perhaps our impression is mistaken, but that is how things have come across sometimes.

 

You should of course seek to follow the Holy Spirit in your life, but discernment should encourage you to think with a little skepticism as to whether it truly is the Holy Spirit that is leading you - so many discerners make the mistake of approaching as if things are set in stone and believe me that is not the case!

Edited February 21, 2014 by EmilyAnn

[SilentJoy]

God can speak to us through 'coincidences' (my priest likes to use the term 'Godincidences'). However, at one point I was applying to a community that I didn't completely want to enter, largely because there had been what I'm now calling a 'Tyranny of Coincidences' so I kept going forward, thinking that it might be the Will of God even though I was kind of miserable and was actually wanting to try somewhere else. It wasn't a bad learning experience to have and it did end up helping me to understand myself better and to heal, and I am learning that its okay to trust my heart and my knowledge of myself instead of obeying exterior 'signs.'

 

Sometimes, coincidences ARE just coincidences. Or perhaps they could be a kind of invitation to pursue something further, but they aren't a sign that you MUST do this or that. You're still free to make the decision for yourself. But you probably aren't at a point where you're under a Tyranny of Coincidences just yet; you're just trying to be more aware of possible avenues that you might be able to take?  :heart:

[Annie12]

God can speak to us through 'coincidences' (my priest likes to use the term 'Godincidences'). However, at one point I was applying to a community that I didn't completely want to enter, largely because there had been what I'm now calling a 'Tyranny of Coincidences' so I kept going forward, thinking that it might be the Will of God even though I was kind of miserable and was actually wanting to try somewhere else. It wasn't a bad learning experience to have and it did end up helping me to understand myself better and to heal, and I am learning that its okay to trust my heart and my knowledge of myself instead of obeying exterior 'signs.'

 

Sometimes, coincidences ARE just coincidences. Or perhaps they could be a kind of invitation to pursue something further, but they aren't a sign that you MUST do this or that. You're still free to make the decision for yourself. But you probably aren't at a point where you're under a Tyranny of Coincidences just yet; you're just trying to be more aware of possible avenues that you might be able to take?  :heart:

 

Have you ever read Boethius' Consolation of Philosophy? It is really good...( if you like that kind of reading, that is). But, Boethius writes how nothing is a coincidence how everything... even our mistakes are worked into God's plan because God can only do good and therefore even our slip ups are used to lead us to God's divine will. Anyhow, I DO pay attention to signs. HOWEVER, I do not rely on them. I have learned my lesson on this. And, I can't ever know for sure if somthing is a sign until it has been "fulfilled" (for lack of better words).

 

Right now, I am mostly rustling with the choices that I am going to have to make. I have put my foot in my mouth so much over this whole vocation business that I have become like the boy who cried wolf. However, the reality is that I have been going through this for 5 years now and I keep coming back to "I feel called". In the end, I am the one who has to move forward and say, "this is what I believe to be the will of the Lord and therefore I will peruse it and allow God to lead me".

 

I can understand how people feel about my on and off manner of discernment. I am dreading telling my folks about it for this exact reason. I wish I didn't have to try to get others to understand my situation. I am awful at explaining things. 

[SilentJoy]

Thanks for the book recommendation, Annie12! I'm not sure when I might get to it but I will try. I agree, even my mistakes are somehow necessary to my story. I learned something important before withdrawing my application to the community, and I think that may be the reason why I needed to apply - not, as I thought, for the goal of actually entering, but so that I could get that little puzzle piece.

 

Prayers for you and your discernment and the reactions of friends and family towards it.

[kg94]

Yes, you should have faith and yes you should follow where the Holy Spirit leads you. A little skepticism is healthy in these matters though.

 

I don't contribute much to VS anymore but I do lurk so I have seen a lot of what you have posted over your time here. The regular VSers, like me, have seen your journey and I think it has come across sometimes that you 'flip' between "I'm called to religious life" and "I'm called to marriage" seemingly at the slightest 'sign'. You have, now and in the past, seemed anxious for a definitive 'this is my vocation'. I don't say any of this to criticise, but to try and explain why people may encourage skepticism. Perhaps our impression is mistaken, but that is how things have come across sometimes.

 

You should of course seek to follow the Holy Spirit in your life, but discernment should encourage you to think with a little skepticism as to whether it truly is the Holy Spirit that is leading you - so many discerners make the mistake of approaching as if things are set in stone and believe me that is not the case!

 

With regards to the whole VS thing, just be aware that you are looking to carry out a spiritual discernment and not one based on feelings, emotions, or even one's will. Often it is difficult to take a step back and just check exactly what is from God and what is just in our minds because of anxiety or fear or just a want for clarity in one's vocation. Trust me when I tell you that when the time is right (in God's time - kairos) then you will know. I spent years searching for the right congregation and found it by accident, in a case where I never even meant to visit, and then when I did agree to visit, it was for a write up I never ended up doing for our blog - The Vocation Operation! So don't worry about the VS - just sunbathe in the presence of God and carry on discerning. Read through the Gospels and see if anything jumps out at you. Look particularly at the role of Jesus in the bit that jumps out, and meditate on the daily readings, keeping a journal of what strikes you and what it means to you. Know you have my prayers, 

Kim Lee

The Vocation Operation. xxx

Edited February 28, 2014 by kg94

[kg94]

That post was meant for all those struggling with the VS issue. 

[chrysostom]

All I can recommend is pray, pray, pray.  And wait.  I'm currently on day 3 of a 54-day rosary novena for discernment of my vocation, and I don't know if I'll get a definitive answer by the end, but I know that the Queen of the Most Holy Rosary will hear me.  :)  Consecrate yourself to Mary and live entirely in her hands.  She will take care of it.

[Annie12]

Its been about a week since I stated this thread, and I have done a lot more thinking and as one of you said earlier, I came to the realization that that I am right now discerning the feelings/ desires of my heart. But, I have decided not to care too much about figuring it all out because I am just going to see where God takes me. I don't need to figure it out. It will work its self out naturally. I realize that emotions/ desires can be fickle and so I am just going to wait it out a bit and see if it lasts. Thank you all for your prayers! God bless you all!