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I Think I Might Be Back On Vs...


Annie12

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Okay, so I have had this problem since the beginning that I feel called to religious life but (besides wanting a family), I don't think I could happily live with the vows Religious make. Its really troubling me because I LOVE the idea of giving up your life totally to the Lord but at the same time I don't see my self being happy taking vows of obedience and poverty. So, I don't know if anyone is even interested but this is where I am right now. I also just came out of a heartbreak. So, I don't really desire to date anyone either.  I am so torn right now. :unsure:Thank you for everyone who is praying for me! You are all in my prayers!  Pax!

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If it won't make you happy, then why do are you seeking it? Heartbreak shouldn't instantly lead to religious discernment. Take some time away from dating and discerning. Focus on the vocation you have now: student, daughter, friend. Be holy, and God will lead you. Have faith, and choose JOY.

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FutureCarmeliteClaire

Okay, so I have had this problem since the beginning that I feel called to religious life but (besides wanting a family), I don't think I could happily live with the vows Religious make. Its really troubling me because I LOVE the idea of giving up your life totally to the Lord but at the same time I don't see my self being happy taking vows of obedience and poverty. So, I don't know if anyone is even interested but this is where I am right now. I also just came out of a heartbreak. So, I don't really desire to date anyone either.  I am so torn right now. :unsure:Thank you for everyone who is praying for me! You are all in my prayers!  Pax!

You are called to give your life totally to the Lord in whatever vocation you are called to, especially NOW, in your present vocation. Faithfully live out where God has placed you, and the rest will fall into place. By worrying so much about marriage or religious life and not where you are currently, you aren't giving God your all. I've learned that if I can't give God my everything where I am, I can't expect to be able to give Him my everything in the future. NOW is a good place to start.

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If it won't make you happy, then why do are you seeking it? Heartbreak shouldn't instantly lead to religious discernment. Take some time away from dating and discerning. Focus on the vocation you have now: student, daughter, friend. Be holy, and God will lead you. Have faith, and choose JOY.

 

Thank you for your comment! I think I made is sound like as a result of being heartbroken I was now discerning again. That isn't the case. I think because I found myself is a low place I sought God and it seems like an unquenchable thirst for him has opened up again. I guess, I just don't know what to make of this. As for now, I will seek him will my all in the present. But, I do agree with y'all about choosing joy now and trusting that God will lead me where I need to be. :saint2:

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Agreeing with the171 here.  If you just got out of a relationship this is NOT the time to discern a religious vocation, at least not until the hurt starts healing.  You can't see very clearly.  Your emotions are probably running high too.

 

Same goes when someone leaves a convent, or is turned down by an order.  Time is needed to process and get over the rejection/hurt/etc.

 

Annie12 I think I can say that we're here for you ... just take your time, and wait a bit.  I'm sure that over time things will become clearer.

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You are called to give your life totally to the Lord in whatever vocation you are called to, especially NOW, in your present vocation. Faithfully live out where God has placed you, and the rest will fall into place. By worrying so much about marriage or religious life and not where you are currently, you aren't giving God your all. I've learned that if I can't give God my everything where I am, I can't expect to be able to give Him my everything in the future. NOW is a good place to start.


Piggybacking on the above (which was great!) in response to wanting to give yourself radically to God, that gift isn't a one time event. It's a lifetime of moments of gifts regardless of what vocation you find yourself in. One who enters, is received, or makes vows hasn't finally reached this destination of self gift. If it were only that easy! It's in the circumstances of ordinary life that anyone gives their life radically to God and it is a continual process not a one time event. So, start now, give radically, in the life you live now. Regardless of your future vocation, this practice will help you to give more in the future.
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Thank you all for your great advice! These are all wonderful reminders. Its sort of weird though because I was hurt at first but, now I am completely in "whatever" mode. I don't know really how to describe it. I am just not emotionally invested in any vocation right now. Its not about the emotions for me at this time (in the past, yes but now, no). Yet, I feel such joy whenever I am with the lord during adoration or mass or whatever (and joy is different than happiness, the emotion)... Since I have given my future to him in the form a short prayer, all I can say is that I am at peace and I can feel joy! God is so good! I have ceased trying to plan my future and am making a real effort to live in the present and neither in the past or future. Thank you all for your support! God bless!

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AveMariaPurissima

Agreeing with the171 here.  If you just got out of a relationship this is NOT the time to discern a religious vocation, at least not until the hurt starts healing.  You can't see very clearly.  Your emotions are probably running high too.

 

Same goes when someone leaves a convent, or is turned down by an order.  Time is needed to process and get over the rejection/hurt/etc.

 

Annie12 I think I can say that we're here for you ... just take your time, and wait a bit.  I'm sure that over time things will become clearer.

Not to highjack, but I just wanted to thank you for what you said above...I needed that. :)

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Guys... God lead me to a bunch of nuns today. I NEVER see nuns!!! Well, "thy will be done". I think I have ran away from this for too long. :saint2:

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Guys... God lead me to a bunch of nuns today. I NEVER see nuns!!! Well, "thy will be done". I think I have ran away from this for too long. :saint2:

 

This reminds me of a train journey I took when I was about twenty years old. I was thinking hard about religious life at the time, praying for signs, and then when I changed trains I saw two nuns at the station in bright blue habits. On the second leg of my journey, I chanced to glance out of the window at a warehouse belonging to the Carmel company. CARMEL in huge letters! I had made several visits to a Carmelite monastery and was talking with them about an aspirancy, so I leaped on both of these things as a 'sign'.

 

Six or seven years down the line, I'm not a nun and I doubt I ever will be.

 

It's a common mistake to invest too much significance in signs. In my experience it's usually a hint that someone is anxious - solid life decisions tend to be made on a much more prosaic basis. Awareness of my own vocation dawned very very slowly through my work with people who have severe learning disabilities. I want to work with people who are truly 'the least of these'. Then I came across Jean Vanier, who taught me about living in community with the vulnerable; and Brother Charles de Foucauld, whose spirituality was one of pure humility and littleness, and who saw the entire Gospel in the phase 'least of these'. There were no signs, no trumpets, no fanfares. I just saw my work making more and more sense in the light of what I was learning. It was gradual. Then, seeking spiritual support from like-minded people, I joined a lay prayer group affiliated to a Carmelite monastery that promotes reconciliation and unity between churches (a favourite theme of de Foucauld, and close to my own heart). But again, it was a purely practical decision, not something I did because I saw a signboard on a warehouse. Through the prayer group I heard about the secular institute that I'm a candidate with now. And so it goes on. No blinding lights from heaven, no road-to-Damascus moment. Gradual.

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Not to sound like a complainer here and all of you are posting very good reminders, however, I feel like if I say something about what I think God is calling me to, people (not even just on VS) tend to tell me that I could be wrong and that I should be skeptical regardless about what vocation I am discussing. Shouldn't there be more faith in this matter? Is it wrong for me to follow the conviction of the Holy Spirit? I know you all mean well but I tend to feel that when I am on Phatmass, I am often written off. Maybe you all are right. Maybe everything is in my head. However, I doubt it. You all can continue this thread but I don't see the gain for me to continue defending myself. Thank you all for your prayers! God bless!

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Not to sound like a complainer here and all of you are posting very good reminders, however, I feel like if I say something about what I think God is calling me to, people (not even just on VS) tend to tell me that I could be wrong and that I should be skeptical regardless about what vocation I am discussing. Shouldn't there be more faith in this matter? Is it wrong for me to follow the conviction of the Holy Spirit? I know you all mean well but I tend to feel that when I am on Phatmass, I am often written off. Maybe you all are right. Maybe everything is in my head. However, I doubt it. You all can continue this thread but I don't see the gain for me to continue defending myself. Thank you all for your prayers! God bless!


Annie, I don't tend to hang out in this forum but I have a sister who has been discerning R/L for a long time and she has been through the same problem of feelingthat others are judging her and accusing her of following her own will instead of God's because she won't give up.

Only you and God know what's in your heart and what that means in your discernment. Take a step back from a thread or forum for awhile if things seem a bit critical. Most people mean well, but let's face it, this is an online forum - and no one knows what someone else should do.

I support you, not because I think or know you're right, but because only you know what is right for you. Don't get discouraged, whatever you end up doing.
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