Making Out

[PhuturePriest]

I admire your strength. I wouldnt be able to do that.

 

Keep in mind I've never been in a serious relationship before. :P But I want to be able to say that if I ever get married, the only person I ever kissed was my wife.

[CrossCuT]

Keep in mind I've never been in a serious relationship before. :P But I want to be able to say that if I ever get married, the only person I ever kissed was my wife.

I think a lot of the ideas you hold about a relationship may change once youre in one.

For instance, I hated the idea of showing too much PDA...even to the point that I didnt want to hold hands. 

 

But now I realize that I really enjoy it. Still dont like too much PDA but hand holding is ok. This is a tiny example but you know what I mean.

[PhuturePriest]

I think a lot of the ideas you hold about a relationship may change once youre in one.

For instance, I hated the idea of showing too much PDA...even to the point that I didnt want to hold hands. 

 

But now I realize that I really enjoy it. Still dont like too much PDA but hand holding is ok. This is a tiny example but you know what I mean.

 

Of course. And I may change my mind, but I doubt I will. Saving my first kiss for marriage means a lot to me for a very particular reason not appropriate on an open forum. :P

Edited February 21, 2014 by FuturePriest387

[Deus te Amat]

Can people refrain from using the red "Edited by moderator" text? A mod who reads this would go off and research to see what happened (why the edits were made without a note; I just did that). We get enough work to do ... thank you very much :).

Just a note... All posts that have actually been edited say "edited by" at the bottom. Not even a mod can get around that.

They were just having fun. People have been doing the red text thing for years. I believe that MIKolbe was rather fond of it.

/endOffTopic


Edited because of autocorrect,


See? Edited February 21, 2014 by Deus_te_Amat

[Basilisa Marie]

I think part of this has to do with the fact that most people, including Catholics, are getting married later in life than before. It used to be that the average age of marriage was in one's early 20s, now it's closer to your early 30s. There used to be not a whole lot of time between dating and marriage, and now we've got this group of young adults that doesn't really have any age-appropriate tools to deal with chastity. Theoretically many of these people are no longer teens who are pretty much incapable of stopping themselves if they get in too deep. Wouldn't at least some of these people have an easier time of establishing boundaries?  It just seems a littler ridiculous to give our rhetoric the underlying assumption that kissing automatically leads to "something else" when we're talking about adults, not adolescents. Or maybe it's appropriate to assume the same physical boundaries, because a more mature person would want to avoid even occasions of sin? 

I don't know. On one hand the generally anti-kissing argument makes a lot of logical sense to me, but on the other hand it doesn't feel like that reflects experience, it feels weirdly unreasonable to expect no one to give their serious boyfriend or girlfriend any more than a peck you'd give your grandmother. If we take the anti-kissing argument seriously, then I believe we have to get more realistic and stop expecting newlyweds to be able to "do everything" right away, like flipping a switch. 

[Lil Red]

Just a note... All posts that have actually been edited say "edited by" at the bottom. Not even a mod can get around that.

They were just having fun. People have been doing the red text thing for years. I believe that MIKolbe was rather fond of it.

/endOffTopic


Edited because of autocorrect,


See?

 

exactly. 

[Lil Red]

I think someone should write up a chaste kissing guide and include all the consequences of your actions in red ink with flames around it. Maybe some sparkles...

And then add a voice playback that tells you how indecent of a person you are.

 

It should be hung up in peoples houses so that whenever you start kissing or even think about it, youll be reminded of your sinful ways and avoid the flames of you know where.

 

i legit laughed out loud. i might have also snorted. :| 

[CrossCuT]

i legit laughed out loud. i might have also snorted. :|

 

Haha! This thread started to turn into an "Jimminy Crickets Sally, kissing is the work of the devil!"

 

I was also tired and feeling mildly cynical.

[Lil Red]

Haha! This thread started to turn into an "Jimminy Crickets Sally, kissing is the work of the devil!"

 

:hehe:  bwahahahahahahahahahaha  :hehe2:

[brandelynmarie]

Just a note... All posts that have actually been edited say "edited by" at the bottom. Not even a mod can get around that.

They were just having fun. People have been doing the red text thing for years.

Huh, all these years I've been on here & I've never noticed!







(What else have I not noticed? :unsure: )

[KnightofChrist]

I still fail to see how the proponents of "making out" have proven their position. The Church teaches that the unmarried must remain chase, chastity in continence, which doesn't just mean avoiding sex, but other intimately sensual and sexual acts as well. How is a make out session aka 'french kissing' chaste? How is sensually sticking one's tongue into mouth of someone else and visa versa an act that is chaste? How is that not an act that is unchaste? It seems a very sensual and very intimate act that should belong only to the married.

[Maggyie]

For some people though, (including me,) making out and french kissing are too arousing to handle. Sounds like my odds of finding a husband got significantly reduced.

Well it's just one more limiting factor. I had a lot of limiting factors in my search for a spouse - a single, Catholic man who was eligible for marriage, willing to wait to have sex, who didn't want to use contraception even after marriage. I had additional preferences that he be college educated, employed or employable, between the ages of 20 and 30 (I was 23 at the time) and live within 2 hours of me. Nothing out of the ordinary right?

Well guess what. Catholics are only a quarter of the population to begin with, and half of them are women. Of the males, many are children still, very elderly, married, divorced without possibility of annulment, or in the priesthood. Slice off another 50 percent or so (I'm being generous).

Of the remaining number of men, how many believe in waiting for marriage? Let's say 25%. Again I'm being very generous. How many won't ask you to use contraception after marriage? Another cut, a big one. More than 90% of Catholics use contraception.

Now you need to find in this very small group a man who also doesn't want to KISS before marriage. I have no statistics but it's probably another big cut. You're probably looking in a group of 1% of Catholics. In America in the thousands, not millions.

This isn't taking into account whether you'd prefer your husband to be mentally healthy, in a particular age range, reasonably attractive, or capable of supporting a family. Those aren't even taken into account yet.

Bottom line, pursuing the vocation of marriage is a massive challenge for a devout Catholic woman. We don't need to make it any harder than it already is. There is an extreme shortage of men in the marriage market... I finally found my husband when I started dedicating hours to my search every week.

[PhuturePriest]

Well it's just one more limiting factor. I had a lot of limiting factors in my search for a spouse - a single, Catholic man who was eligible for marriage, willing to wait to have sex, who didn't want to use contraception even after marriage. I had additional preferences that he be college educated, employed or employable, between the ages of 20 and 30 (I was 23 at the time) and live within 2 hours of me. Nothing out of the ordinary right?

Well guess what. Catholics are only a quarter of the population to begin with, and half of them are women. Of the males, many are children still, very elderly, married, divorced without possibility of annulment, or in the priesthood. Slice off another 50 percent or so (I'm being generous).

Of the remaining number of men, how many believe in waiting for marriage? Let's say 25%. Again I'm being very generous. How many won't ask you to use contraception after marriage? Another cut, a big one. More than 90% of Catholics use contraception.

Now you need to find in this very small group a man who also doesn't want to KISS before marriage. I have no statistics but it's probably another big cut. You're probably looking in a group of 1% of Catholics. In America in the thousands, not millions.

This isn't taking into account whether you'd prefer your husband to be mentally healthy, in a particular age range, reasonably attractive, or capable of supporting a family. Those aren't even taken into account yet.

Bottom line, pursuing the vocation of marriage is a massive challenge for a devout Catholic woman. We don't need to make it any harder than it already is. There is an extreme shortage of men in the marriage market... I finally found my husband when I started dedicating hours to my search every week.

 

I feel very privileged being a man. I can count at least thirty single devout Catholic girls, but now that I think about it, I can only name about eight guys (Including myself) who fit your list (Minus the college part because we're high schoolers).

[Basilisa Marie]

I still fail to see how the proponents of "making out" have proven their position. The Church teaches that the unmarried must remain chase, chastity in continence, which doesn't just mean avoiding sex, but other intimately sensual and sexual acts as well. How is a make out session aka 'french kissing' chaste? How is sensually sticking one's tongue into mouth of someone else and visa versa an act that is chaste? How is that not an act that is unchaste? It seems a very sensual and very intimate act that should belong only to the married.

 

At the same time, your serious boyfriend or girlfriend is not your grandma, your relationship is different. Is that difference of relationship enough to allow for a difference in the way you physically relate to that person? 

[CatholicsAreKewl]

I know its not uncommon for Russians to lock lips with close same-sex friends and family members (kinda funny considering the whole olympics thing). Since kissing can be done platonically in these contexts, I wonder whether it'd technically be sinful to make out with strangers if both parties got nothing out of it.

Here's an unrelated article about heterosexual guys kissing each other:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1324799/How-men-kissing-lips-friendship-longer-taboo.html