Carla Discerning Vocation

[Carla]

I have not write anything here for couple of weeks.I give my self totally in my disarmament and i try to work more on my spiritually life and prayers.

Recent development in my discrening scare be little bit.For some time my desire is to become Francine teaching sister,I have thinking my vocation only in that way and nothing more.

I have not open my heart for any another possible way of vocation.But in last weeks i have visited Carmel monastery quite offen, and i have totally  in love my self in this kind of spiritually life.I have only respect for their devotion and way of life and in my heart i have stared to love this kind of life.In this same time one priest who i'm deeply respect ask me in one talking did i ever consider cloistered life.This question deeply affect me and i can stop thinking about it.Now my whole world is kind of shaken.I'm pretty open person and i do not know who will i menage to live this kind of lifestyle,But still i feel my self there with sister only joy.I need only them and praying and nothing more in the world when i'm there.

I do not know is this just temporary hold in my dicrament or God realty what something else from me?

 

Did someone have similar experience and did they feel drastic life change in their Vocation.

Thank you and God bless you.

 

[maximillion]

I don't think this is unusual Carla, God does sometimes bring us face to face with something we had not thought of.

 

I pray for your continued discernment.

[Carla]

I don't think this is unusual Carla, God does sometimes bring us face to face with something we had not thought of.

 

I pray for your continued discernment.

 

Thank you for your prayers and support.I know that i need to open my heart more and God will show me his grace.But in the same time i'm scared.

I do not know did i have strength to live this kind of life.But in the same time i can not ignore God's sights,and when i'm with sisters there i feel only joy in my heart.

[beatitude]

Carla, I think what you are experiencing is very natural. Discernment is about discovery, and if you knew exactly what sort of monastery or convent you were going to join when you started thinking about it, there would be nothing to discover. :)

 

I was a child when I decided that one day I would be a nun, but I only knew about active sisters. In my late teens I found out about the contemplative life and felt a very strong pull towards it, most especially Carmel. I was convinced I'd be a Carmelite. I went on retreats and even arranged a live-in, but there was always something keeping me back - student loan debt, a sick relative to care for - and privately I was quite glad of these things. I wasn't ready to take that plunge. And in my heart of hearts, much as I loved the idea of Carmel, I knew that I am not cut out to be a Carmelite. It's not what I'm made for. (It hurts a little to write that, even now. :) ) A chaplain at my university, a very wise friend who knew about my discernment (and who irritated me by recommending against cloistered life!), asked if I had ever thought about consecrated life in the world, as a single woman. At the time I was against the suggestion, because it just didn't seem to be special enough - no beautiful habit, no lovely monastery, no ancient customs and traditions, just my own ordinary humdrum life in my own clothes, trying to scrape together 'something beautiful for God', as Mother Teresa put it. Eventually, I became a little more open-minded and a little more practical (and, I hope, a little more trusting!), and began to see that even the most ordinary humdrum-looking life is a great adventure when you go into it accompanied by Jesus! And now that I am a candidate with a secular institute, I see how wise and perceptive my priest friend really was when he said he thought this life would be a good fit for me. I don't regret my discernment with religious communities - it taught me a lot - but this is the place for me. It fits me, while at the same time challenging me to grow. So you see, it's quite normal to start off thinking you're certain to end up in one place, but to end up in a different one.

[Carla]

Carla, I think what you are experiencing is very natural. Discernment is about discovery, and if you knew exactly what sort of monastery or convent you were going to join when you started thinking about it, there would be nothing to discover. :)

 

I was a child when I decided that one day I would be a nun, but I only knew about active sisters. In my late teens I found out about the contemplative life and felt a very strong pull towards it, most especially Carmel. I was convinced I'd be a Carmelite. I went on retreats and even arranged a live-in, but there was always something keeping me back - student loan debt, a sick relative to care for - and privately I was quite glad of these things. I wasn't ready to take that plunge. And in my heart of hearts, much as I loved the idea of Carmel, I knew that I am not cut out to be a Carmelite. It's not what I'm made for. (It hurts a little to write that, even now. :) ) A chaplain at my university, a very wise friend who knew about my discernment (and who irritated me by recommending against cloistered life!), asked if I had ever thought about consecrated life in the world, as a single woman. At the time I was against the suggestion, because it just didn't seem to be special enough - no beautiful habit, no lovely monastery, no ancient customs and traditions, just my own ordinary humdrum life in my own clothes, trying to scrape together 'something beautiful for God', as Mother Teresa put it. Eventually, I became a little more open-minded and a little more practical (and, I hope, a little more trusting!), and began to see that even the most ordinary humdrum-looking life is a great adventure when you go into it accompanied by Jesus! And now that I am a candidate with a secular institute, I see how wise and perceptive my priest friend really was when he said he thought this life would be a good fit for me. I don't regret my discernment with religious communities - it taught me a lot - but this is the place for me. It fits me, while at the same time challenging me to grow. So you see, it's quite normal to start off thinking you're certain to end up in one place, but to end up in a different one.

 

Than you for your wise words and thinking.In all this i only sure in one.I want to join religious life.I have struggle for some time to accept that i will not have family and children,I have been quite vain about this.That i took so hard.But i'm descering for years and i have relize for sure that i have vocation.My whole world is shaken because for me til now only way to serve is to be Francine teaching sister,How this is changed.And i struggle because of this.To live cloistered life it demands specialty spirituality. I not sure did i have this.

 

Just wanted to say that consecrated life is so beautiful way to serve.I admire you and i adore you because of this.To live consecrated life in secular world demand amazing persons.Thank you for this and God bless you.
 

[petitpèlerin]

Carla, I really believe that you have nothing to fear. Your openness to God and your desire to find his will for your life is beautiful, I have confidence that he will lead you where he wants you, as long as you remain truly open to him the way you are. Prayers for you in your discernment.

[Graciela]

Dear Carla,

 

As we discern, I think it is possible and very normally human to feel anxiety about making the "correct" decision.  Having been through long discernment with several surprising turns and a very disapointing experience with one community, I can share my testimony that God is very present with us in every bit of our discernment.

 

Your openness to God is beautiful and such a grace.  Be assured that God will direct your path, and keep exploring.

 

God gives the graces necessary for us to live our vocation, even when we feel that our natural inclinations might make it seem unlikely.  I recommend an attitude of abandonment to divine providence as you pray and explore (if you have not read deCaussade's book named "abandonment to divine providence", I would encourage it to anyone facing life decisions).

 

The most beautiful experience of my life was a new job that came in to my life after I completely surrendered and let go into the deep abyss of God's love, peace and joy.  It was scary and graced and bore fruit that I never would have imagined.  I feel that God used my surrender, regardless of my trepidation, to draw me to my true vocation.  I can hardly express my gratitude and love of God for such a gift and grace! 

 

Praying with you and wishing you every blessing in your journey.

Graciela

Edited May 17, 2014 by Graciela

[Carla]

Dear Carla,

 

As we discern, I think it is possible and very normally human to feel anxiety about making the "correct" decision.  Having been through long discernment with several surprising turns and a very disapointing experience with one community, I can share my testimony that God is very present with us in every bit of our discernment.

 

Your openness to God is beautiful and such a grace.  Be assured that God will direct your path, and keep exploring.

 

God gives the graces necessary for us to live our vocation, even when we feel that our natural inclinations might make it seem unlikely.  I recommend an attitude of abandonment to divine providence as you pray and explore (if you have not read deCaussade's book named "abandonment to divine providence", I would encourage it to anyone facing life decisions).

 

The most beautiful experience of my life was a new job that came in to my life after I completely surrendered and let go into the deep abyss of God's love, peace and joy.  It was scary and graced and bore fruit that I never would have imagined.  I feel that God used my surrender, regardless of my trepidation, to draw me to my true vocation.  I can hardly express my gratitude and love of God for such a gift and grace! 

 

Praying with you and wishing you every blessing in your journey.

Graciela

 

Dear Graciela thank you for your inspiring experience.I will work more on me and my spiritually life.I will open my heart for more God's grace that he guide me throw my discerning.I will learn more about cloistered life and i will visit some comunuites.I want to learn more like this  and i will try to found out what God is asking from me.i have talk with my mother about that,She think that cloister compltative life is amazing way to serve but it demand special kind of person.In this future time i will open my heart to found out i'm i this person.When we talk about this she has been very happy but very sad.For me to leave my family wil be very hard.
 

[Sr Mary Catharine OP]

Dear Carla,

I am a cloistered nun and I never thought when I was discerning that the Lord was calling me to this way of life! I always thought I'd be a teaching sister.

Don't be afraid to open yourself to the possibility that Jesus is calling you to be his this way!

I wish this idea that the cloistered life is for a "special kind of person" wouldn't get perpetuated. It stops so many (myself included) from considering it. My experience is that this life is for those of us who are weak! We need the Lord to keep us in the "hot house" so that we can flourish! If we were out on the pathways we'd the seed of the Word of God would probably not take root and come to fruition!

 

Cloistered life is a very simple and ordinary life. It is intense in many ways, yes, but it is worth it!

 

My prayers for you and if you have any questions you can ask me here or PM me.

 

Sr. Mary Catharine

[4LoveofJMJ]

Oh Carla, this is perfectly normal! As everyone has said here before, there will always be surprises along your path of discernment. This may be God showing you that you are called to the cloister, or He may be testing to see how open you are to His will. It sounds like this is giving you the opportunity to grow in obedience. This type of surrender is so important in discernment and can only be achieved through such trials. It is easy to say that you are willing to do whatever God calls you to, but even harder to put it into practice.

 

I should know! For a while I thought that I was called to the religious life but I was too young to do anything about it. I had thought about the religious life so much that the thought of marriage scared me a bit. I had gotten the idea that becoming a religious sister would be a safe vocation. Not to mention a more holy vocation. I know now that I was completely wrong in that regard but it was only after I had gotten up enough courage to go on a discernment retreat that I realized how wrong I was. With some help from Sr. Joseph Andrew, I realized how much of a surrender of will it is to be called to the married life. If I am called to marriage, I have to trust that God will bring the right man into my life and everything that happens in the future will be a stepping stone on my way to heaven. In that retreat, God showed me how amazingly holy married life can be if I keep God at the center. I was shown that I could give my life to God through the everyday tasks that come with any vocation. I just had to realize that God calls people to a holy life in marriage in the same way that He calls people to s holy life in the priesthood or religious life. Regardless of what I just wrote, I still don't know whether I am called to married life or religious life. God used the discernment retreat to show me how I need to be open to all vocations. As Sr. Joseph Andrew told me, I will be the most holy in the vocation that God calls me to.

 

As I am sure you well know, this does not signal the end of your discernment, but rather, a new point of view to all that you have learned about yourself.

 

Pray to Mary Seat of Wisdom. Rest within her just as Jesus did, and she will show you the way.

 

You are in my prayers.

[Carla]

Dear Carla,

I am a cloistered nun and I never thought when I was discerning that the Lord was calling me to this way of life! I always thought I'd be a teaching sister.

Don't be afraid to open yourself to the possibility that Jesus is calling you to be his this way!

I wish this idea that the cloistered life is for a "special kind of person" wouldn't get perpetuated. It stops so many (myself included) from considering it. My experience is that this life is for those of us who are weak! We need the Lord to keep us in the "hot house" so that we can flourish! If we were out on the pathways we'd the seed of the Word of God would probably not take root and come to fruition!

 

Cloistered life is a very simple and ordinary life. It is intense in many ways, yes, but it is worth it!

 

My prayers for you and if you have any questions you can ask me here or PM me.

 

Sr. Mary Catharine

 

Sister i'm so graceful for your support.I will learn more and i will have open possibility that God maybe is calling me to cloistered.I will pray and listen all the sight from God.I will ask His Grace to help me in that.I'm now discerning for some time and i sure that i called to serve religious life in Vocation.Only i need to found what is God asking from me.For some time i have think that Francine teaching order is my Vocation.It seams that it is more my wish.

 

Oh Carla, this is perfectly normal! As everyone has said here before, there will always be surprises along your path of discernment. This may be God showing you that you are called to the cloister, or He may be testing to see how open you are to His will. It sounds like this is giving you the opportunity to grow in obedience. This type of surrender is so important in discernment and can only be achieved through such trials. It is easy to say that you are willing to do whatever God calls you to, but even harder to put it into practice.

 

I should know! For a while I thought that I was called to the religious life but I was too young to do anything about it. I had thought about the religious life so much that the thought of marriage scared me a bit. I had gotten the idea that becoming a religious sister would be a safe vocation. Not to mention a more holy vocation. I know now that I was completely wrong in that regard but it was only after I had gotten up enough courage to go on a discernment retreat that I realized how wrong I was. With some help from Sr. Joseph Andrew, I realized how much of a surrender of will it is to be called to the married life. If I am called to marriage, I have to trust that God will bring the right man into my life and everything that happens in the future will be a stepping stone on my way to heaven. In that retreat, God showed me how amazingly holy married life can be if I keep God at the center. I was shown that I could give my life to God through the everyday tasks that come with any vocation. I just had to realize that God calls people to a holy life in marriage in the same way that He calls people to s holy life in the priesthood or religious life. Regardless of what I just wrote, I still don't know whether I am called to married life or religious life. God used the discernment retreat to show me how I need to be open to all vocations. As Sr. Joseph Andrew told me, I will be the most holy in the vocation that God calls me to.

 

As I am sure you well know, this does not signal the end of your discernment, but rather, a new point of view to all that you have learned about yourself.

 

Pray to Mary Seat of Wisdom. Rest within her just as Jesus did, and she will show you the way and yes it is not easy to follow his will.God will ask from us a lot but never too mutch we can handle.

 

You are in my prayers.

 

Thank you for your prayers.I agree with you in discerning  it is important to show totally surrender to his will.God will ask from us a lot but never too mutch we can handle.Vocation path is not easy and i need to show will that i can follow it.My first thinking about religious life has been after i finish high school.I wanted to join but my parents did not let me.I have been angry then but i realize it now.In this age i have not been mature enough. to realize what is Vocation really.In this young age i have think that i have Vocation but it has been only my opinion and my behavior.After that expirence i have distant my self from my faith and church.And 2 years ago when i have again start to follow the right path i have start to realize what Vocation mean.

 

 

 

 

[Carla]

After 5 months Finlay i have something to write here.I have made official application to Carmel monastery.

With God's grace soon i will found out did they accept me or no.Keep me in your prayers.

[Dominican Nuns Menlo Park]

Wonderful, Carla!  Remember that the Lord your God carries you, as a Father carries his child, all along your journey! (Deutoronomy)

Our prayers are with you!  This is truly awesome!  Another soul is striving to enter heaven through the life of loving service...

[Carla]

Wonderful, Carla!  Remember that the Lord your God carries you, as a Father carries his child, all along your journey! (Deutoronomy)

Our prayers are with you!  This is truly amesome!  Another soul is striving to enter heaven through the life of loving service...

 

Thank you from my heart for this kind words that bring only joy in my heart,I have many ups and downs in my discerning but finally i have found piece in my heart.Before i have never think that i will be here on the edge of entering of religious life.I have thinking it only perriod and it will pass and soon i will have big family and devoted husband.But life end up rare in according to our plans,When you open your heart and when you ask grace.

Still i have great fear about future and adjusting in new life also i wondering my self i'm worth it to become Carmel one day.It is something beyond me.

[Jennifer]

After 5 months Finlay i have something to write here.I have made official application to Carmel monastery.

With God's grace soon i will found out did they accept me or no.Keep me in your prayers.

 

Wonderful news Carla.!!

You will be in my prayers at this time.    :nun3: :nun3: