cmaD2006 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I had a falling out today with someone and quit my involvement in a project because of this priest, and that he makes me feel unwelcome. Maybe it will get back to him and this will be addressed and hopefully resolved. :( :console: I know how that is like ... I'm sorry. And if I came across strongly on my previous post is because I've recently dealt with the negative side of favoritism (and as I said -- I learn to deal with it). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pliny Posted February 17, 2014 Author Share Posted February 17, 2014 :( :console: I know how that is like ... I'm sorry. And if I came across strongly on my previous post is because I've recently dealt with the negative side of favoritism (and as I said -- I learn to deal with it). I'll tell you where the real hurtfulness is. It's that the person that I thought was a friend and who I thought I was going to become better friends with, along with her husband and son, think this priest can do no wrong, enjoy being favorites (though I don't think they totally realize they are), and will side with him. So what I really have to accept is that me being friends with them ain't gonna happen. What I'm going to have to accept is that when this priest comes along and bumps me out of the friendly conversation I was having, that that's maybe what they prefer as well. Thank you for your compassionate response. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted February 17, 2014 Share Posted February 17, 2014 I'll tell you where the real hurtfulness is. It's that the person that I thought was a friend and who I thought I was going to become better friends with, along with her husband and son, think this priest can do no wrong, enjoy being favorites (though I don't think they totally realize they are), and will side with him. So what I really have to accept is that me being friends with them ain't gonna happen. Eh you may still be able to be friends with them. I have a friend who were very close to a priest who I have very strong (negative) opinions about. I just listen and nod when that topic comes up (and I shut up -- no need to voice my negative opinions; they already know a small part of what I think and don't need the full details). On the flipside, that same friend has a very strong negative opinion about another priest, who although I don't think he's an angel, I think he's basically good or at least trying to be a faithful priest. Again -- I will voice my opinion but I just let it drop and try to move to a different topic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Red Posted February 18, 2014 Share Posted February 18, 2014 Thank you very much Lil Red for trying to see this from my perspective. I can't think of a reason he should have a personal problem with me. I certainly would be willing to discuss that with him. I think maybe I'm just not interesting to him and I'm fine with that. I really don't have that much interest in being friends with either of our priests. I like to be friendly with them when we naturally meet, but that's about it. Priests should have friends and this particular priest, during a time when he was being unusually friendly with me, told me that they should be other priests and people outside of the parish. So from my perspective he's behaving very hypocritically. I will admit that I have felt hurt at times, but not so much because he is rejecting me, but because he is also pushing me away from people who I want to be friends with and who seem to be in his exclusive club. You hit the nail on the head: He "plays favorites." And regardless of my own feelings or whether they are appropriate, I don't think a priest should do that. I had a falling out today with someone and quit my involvement in a project because of this priest, and that he makes me feel unwelcome. Maybe it will get back to him and this will be addressed and hopefully resolved. Stay tuned... in my opinion, i'd confront it head-on, not wait for this to get back to him. even if he straight up lies to your face by telling you nothing is wrong, your conscience is clear that you've tried to address the problem. like blazingstar said, sometimes priests are just jerks. if you prefer to stay at that parish, be polite, distant, and professional with him and with his favorites. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pliny Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 The priest in question is not the pastor, but the parochial vicar and a new priest. I told my pastor I was having some issues with him and whether he wanted me to discuss it with him, or go to the pv, and he said I should deal with him directly and let him know my thoughts and feelings. So I'm going to have a discussion, but I'm going to let it wait until next week. I want to make sure I'm perfectly calm and that I have this in its proper perspective. I'll post the outcome of our talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cappie Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Not for a priest specifically but.... ames reminds us of Christ's command to "love your neighbour as yourself." The poison of favouritism is the toxin of not loving everyone equally. Special friends are good to have – and necessary. Jesus embraced Peter, James and John as his closest friends. But when we deliberately ignore the needs of those who are not in our circle of friends, excluding them from our gift of love, we are committing the sin of favouritism. The easiest way to learn what God's love for us is like is by experiencing unconditional love from close, Christ-centred friends. But as helpful and holy as good friendships are, to grow in holiness we must extend our love to others – to those we prefer not to be with, who are outside our circle of preferred companions – and we should make sure that we treat them with the same generous caring as we have been giving to those on the inside. This goes against our natural desires. We need to continually ask the Holy Spirit to advise us on how be balanced. How much time should we give to our dear friends? Is there someone else who could benefit from our love and attention? How can we best serve them without neglecting our own genuine needs? When we're truly trying to love everyone equally, our open attitude will attract many to us. They will see an example of what God's love is really like, and Jesus will embrace us as close friends. He already loves you as much as he loved Peter, James and John. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seven77 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Wow… I know exactly how you feel. I've been going to a particular parish for about 5 years or more and the parish priest, whether consciously or not, treats me the same way. I try to be courteous and greet the priest but I get the feeling that doesn't really want to talk to me. Once, on Christmas, as I headed towards the door and tried to wish him, he straight up ignored me and talked to somebody else. I don't know what I have done but I feel unwelcome. It doesn't make sense to me. Is it because I am in a wheelchair or speak slow? I do have friends at that parish who speak to me. Interestingly, this priest doesn't really talk to my mother and the nurse who accompanies us either. It's straight up scandalizing to me. I try not to think about it. Jesus would never treat anyone like that. I've about had it with the hypocrisy… many Catholics are only pro-life to a point. I was valuable when I was in my mother's womb--- when the heck did I lose my value? Sorry if it sounds like I am griping. Nobody here knows me as the type of person to do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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