BarbTherese Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 Father has asked me to write my own vows. I have worked on this, but I doubt it will take final form until during my retreat period. I would like them short and simple yet cover what is important to me as my vows. I am hoping Father will be able to tell me on Wed 16.7.14 next where in the Mass, or before or after, I will be renewing the life vows. He wanted to check this point out as he thought, the Offertory - but I thought private vows could only be made before or after Mass and both are very meaningful to me. Going to Mass tomorrow morning (Sunday) which means taxi there and back as no buses on the weekend to our Sunday Mass main parish Church. Please say a pray for me of your generosity as I am trying to work out how I can fit at least one weekday Mass into my 'permanent' normal weekly schedule and via bus........taxis are much to expensive. As to any expense involved in the Home Mass and I am paying for all expenses - and Monday night I am taking my (foster) son and his wife out to dinner for his birthday - as well as a few other expenses cropping up, my normally carefully arranged budget has gone a little crazy, to put it mildly, and so I am just trusting in The Lord to keep things running above water line. Last night my mobile dropped heavily onto the cement floors (vinyl tile covered) here in Bethany. With a chill I thought that that would HAVE to be the end of my poor often dropped (even in water) mobile. Nope, it had come apart but I could put it back together............and it is still working. Needless to say I was and am profuse in thanksgiving and indeed praise, since The Lord does take good care of even His least...........and more than one hundredfold to me! I am so used to things going wrong that it is a conditioned 'state of mind' - slowly I am loosing that useless baggage.............very slowly........as things keep on going quite right it seems - rather than amiss as it always used to seem. My psychiatrist too will be at the Home Mass, providing nothing else of priority is calling. At our appointments, not at all unusual to spend the time chatting about Catholicism - of which she is not...........yet :) Aim for above the clouds, with a reserved seat if necessary below the clouds. :).........or aim high, while man only proposes - The Lord indeed decides His Way and always the Best Way no matter how dark things seem to get. And oh so easy to write when all is progressing as it should.....or according to one's own plans! Never loose contact in thought and mind with those who do suffer in any way whatsoever. While my doc and I might chat about anything but me and my illness, I always know that as we do chat she has a professional eye on me and I trust her professional eye with good grounds to do so. I love the fact that she talks to me as a fellow adult and I can trust her to always tell me what she understands as the truth of matters and the way she thinks is the way to go. I don't HAVE to follow it however, while most often I CHOOSE to do so, as wisdom and prudence to me seems to dictate......at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AccountDeleted Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 It all sounds wonderful for you.Many prayers coming your way from me and my community. :pray: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandelynmarie Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 BT, have you thought about making a hard copy of this thread? Just to keep & reread from time to time....you have & have had such a fascinating journey. :) Please remind us when you start radio silence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 Nunsense - Thank you very much for the prayers. I have never doubted that the prayers of others and especially perhaps contemplative communities have done much of the hard work "one sows, another reaps". I sometimes have reflected that some inconspicuous novice, scrubbing convent floors has won more for me than I could ever know, this side of Heaven anyway. Brandelynmarie - No, I haven't thought of making a hard copy and once the Home Mass and renewal and receiving of private vows is done, it is done. It is really all about having the private vows received. The rest is all the frills I am putting around it! I am hoping someone might take pictures with mobiles and I had better arrange this I think. I don't know if my son and his fiancé in another state will be able to come due to work commitments and he is a photographer. That is yet to unfold closer to the date. I am truly looking forward I think even moreso to life going back to the daily grind as strange as that might sound. It really has been a lot of unforeseen work (I have put on myself!) that is only for a one only event and I am looking forward to going on retreat and backing off from the organizational side - I hope. Of course, a Home Mass for Private Vows does not have to be all the trouble I am giving it. Probably the day itself and as it draws much closer will change things on the emotional level, as it often can do. I am not too fussed about how I am feeling - where emotions are concerned anything can happen. I like to say that emotions are like windmills - they shift in the slightest breeze...........bipolar-ers can get used to that as an experience :) A victory comes when such 'wind directional changes with accompanying emotional shifts' do not overly bother and one can allow the adult in oneself to stay in control without allowing emotional shifts to turn one from an objective as the prime focus. Does that make any sense? :) I know what I mean - tired at the end of a gruelling day for me and largely at this jolly computer and no-one but myself to blame sadly :) And I had thought after yesterday, I could get right in and do what needs to be done in the house today. Ha! Foiled again!..........and only myself to blame sadly. And Monday a load of ironing comes in at 7am with voluntary work on Monday and Tuesday. Appointments on Wednesday and Thursday........so ironing will have to be done whenever I can grab some time and ready for pickup on Friday. And.....what else.....only myself to blame sadly. I tend to get dates and times mixed up and really don't pay much attention to them - but if I go back through my diaries I can usually sort things out, but never much need to do so actually. Although with a bit of thought, thank you, it might be helpful to retain a hard copy. It is a step by step almost journaling of the process to the Home Mass, with more than a few diversions if memory serves. Yep - will give due warning before radio silence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandelynmarie Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 It's your wedding day :) with all of the planning & roller coaster emotions included. :) Hooray for you to have learned to let your emotional waves come & go...it is not easy for anyone, especially if one struggles with bi-polar...I've watched friends deal with it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 It's your wedding day :) with all of the planning & roller coaster emotions included. :) Hooray for you to have learned to let your emotional waves come & go...it is not easy for anyone, especially if one struggles with bi-polar...I've watched friends deal with it... Thank you for the really beautiful thought, BM. I guess it is a matter of different attitudes and perspectives. And viva la difference! I don't think of the Home Mass as my wedding day at all, rather as the day my long standing life private vows will be renewed and received and I am hoping and praying that it will be a day of blessing for me - a blessing I can experience as a happy one. If not............then on I must go with The Lord of The Dance.......... It is the day I come 'out the closet' with family and friends, most of whom I am invited are mystified as to what I am actually doing............ I really do not mean to be flippant, and my apologies if it does seem that way, but it is just the way that I think. Might be simplistic or whatever.........but just me. Re emotional waves, largely I do just let them ride themselves out without loosing prime focus - but not always nor perfectly - far from that. One of the benefits of living alone I can 'drop clangers' to my hearts content and chuck a cup of coffee at the wall. I can call over and burden my neighbour who is happy to share my burdens as I hers. I am very much conscious that my vocation is NOT to religious life nor consecrated life. I have to discern a different way as it unfolds and I think too that holiness is to invest in one's humanity. I very much doubt too that I am now experiencing those extremes of emotional polarities that I did in years gone by. Might be wrong. I hold that what works and is not hurtful to self or others etc.........then go with that flow and thankfully, praising the Lord............ If bipolar should suddenly flare into life again - then I just have to deal with it if; it happens.......and The Lord will be with me and the outcome in His Hands largely - as with all. Mind you, if I do have an episode of bipolar I know I will NOT be thinking that way I presume and strongly from past performance...........and I will HAVE to deal with it if it happens at least once the bipolar episode has had its say and run its course - and I am back in normal everyday reality again. C'est la vie! But thank you very much again for a really beautiful concept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 ..........oh yeah, almost forgot - if the emotions threaten to get the better of me, I can always drop half an Oxazepam. Then, if a bomb dropped on the house and I was ironing, I would smile, say "Hi!" probably and keep on ironing. :) Mind you a prescription of 25 tablets for 30 days can last me for several months at least. I rarely touch them. For which I think The Lord profusely and praise His Name. I am now in a far better position - and mystery - than the very many I know who suffer some form of mental illness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted July 15, 2014 Author Share Posted July 15, 2014 (edited) To anyone who has sent me a PM. It seems from dUSt (thread into Open Mic) that our PM system is disconnected permanently and hence I cannot reply to you. My PM facility certainly is not working. Please be aware too that I am very reluctant to give personal contact details even via PM. Edited July 15, 2014 by BarbaraTherese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted July 16, 2014 Author Share Posted July 16, 2014 Bethany will be blessed prior to Mass. Saw Father this afternoon, private vows will be renewed and received at the Offertory. I need two readers being a Solemnity and Father would like me to write about four prayers of intercession and organise someone to read them. Readings will be as per the Solemnity followed by Gospel and short homily. Father will do all the prompting necessary through The Mass, although he likes to, and will, keep it very simple as a Home Mass should be and so in the main, we will remain seated. We will receive under the one species of Bread only and those present, if not receiving the Blessed Eucharist, can come forward for a blessing with the customary crossed arms on the breast. He prefers that I have a small table, even a coffee table, with guests arranged around same. It will probably be my small kitchen table I think. I am slowly preparing a document about Private Vows (which I thought I had finished!) and am deleting from it most all references to my own personal journey to keep it smaller and uncomplicated. Put me in front of a keyboard and I don't know where nor when to stop!!! These explanations will be left on our supper table after the Mass and guests can take a copy if they wish. My son and his fiancé do not know as yet if they can travel over from another state. My son has to discern still if he can get the time off. A couple of ladies will be coming early to help me with the setting up prior to Mass. I have the week of the Mass off voluntary work. I'm only taking that week off as I know that I am needed where I am working. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandelynmarie Posted July 16, 2014 Share Posted July 16, 2014 I will be "sending" you a spiritual bouquet for this blessed day :flowers: :amen: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted July 16, 2014 Author Share Posted July 16, 2014 I will be "sending" you a spiritual bouquet for this blessed day :flowers: :amen: Thank you very much, BM! :) :) :) I think that dUSt is creating problems for us by dismantling the PM system, or whatever he did or has done or will do. I accessed your profile, BM, and tried to send you a message, but the link on your profile would not open. At this point for me, the Home Mass is still very much about organizational matters. I am looking forward to the 22nd July immensely. Radio silence will commence on 22.7.14 - Memorial of St Mary Magdalene............I will give another nudge probably 24 hrs before the 22nd. Countdown 29days 3hrs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted July 17, 2014 Author Share Posted July 17, 2014 Unable to visit our nuns in Carmel today. They are now living on the coast on the other side of Adelaide. Sister phoned me around 9am to say that the weather their way was very wild with high winds. I had a fair walk for me from the bus stop to their residence and Sister thought it best we look at our forecast and try to pick a better day next week sometime. It was threatening storm here where I am too. Later in the day it did get rather wild with some high winds and rain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbTherese Posted July 18, 2014 Author Share Posted July 18, 2014 Just posted a question into "Catholic Q & A :Ask a Scholar". http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/134800-private-vows/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Praying for you, BarbaraTherese... now and throughout your prep period and Vow Day.... praying.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 BT Sounds like everything is coming together! I will be praying for you during your retreat and on the actual day as well of course. Keep riding out these waves! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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