Private Vows in The Laity/Spirituality

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The only way I can work through this bit of a rough time in Peace of soul is with Him and for Him - and in all outcomes come whatever may, His Holy Will be done. Amen.

Very shaky at the moment but taken half an Oxazepam and night medication.  I am now out of Oxazepam until I  can get to my pharmacy after seeing my doctor at 2.30pm.  It will be taxis all the way there and back.  Also my darling little dog, Buddie, might need a trip to the vet. If I don't do it and his situation escalates, it will be double cost over the weekend.  Also, if I do get ill and need hospital, it is going to cost $28 each for Buddie and Missie.........but they have to be vaccinated a month before.  I simply can't afford it and vets do want cash unless the bill is over $400 and then there is a loan available. 

Hence, I am hoping so much and praying in an extremely heartfelt manner that I won't need hospital.  If I do at some point while my brother is away, there will be some sort of answer at the time of the problem, not before.  PMH will support me in every way.  Deo Gratius again and again.

I had a phone call tonight too that has upset me no end in a feeling of helplessness but to listen and care.

Actually, I feel better after writing the above than when I started a few minutes ago.  Probably Ox and night medication is taking a very quick hold.  Deo Gratius and Laudate Dominum.  Medications too are God's Gifts in the struggle against suffering - not only for us humans, but for our beloved animal kingdom and pets too.

As a very happy note to conclude.  Our Monarto Zoo here has just let out for public viewing four beautiful leopard cubs.  They are very frisky and happy indeed - three females and one male - not at all timid to be in the public eye.  Monarto is now asking the public to suggest names for our new arrivals. They were born three months ago (a first for Monarto) but kept out of public viewing while Mum was said to have bonded remarkably well indeed as a first attempt at motherhood.  Even human new mothers make mistakes in the main I think - I know I sure did.

Yep!  Thank God indeed, I think medication has worked very quickly indeed tonight.

The $28 each for boarding kennels and the RSPCA is the charge per day for each.

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Daily Reflection - St Vincent de Paul Society

 

Jul 06, 2017

 

“God is satisfied with a soul of good will.”
– St. Louise de Marillac

 

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Chat:  Hanging in there re bipolar and no sign to date the situation will increase i.e. worsen.......but still at the stage where it could go either way..  I walk around Bethany rather often talking out loud to myself or to Jesus..........i.e. I am not struggling alone.

Overall my situation is not as bad and threatening as it had been.

Thank you very much again for prayer.  

Edited July 7, 2017 by BarbaraTherese

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CHAT

I need to stay away from Phatmass for a while in the sense of general posting is concerned.  Posted a couple of replies this morning - not long ones and nothing contentious I don't think.  However my anxiety level has again gone through the ceiling - I went outside to have a coffee (and a cig I confess) and my hands were shaking too.  Normally, contentious posts are not concerning to me on a shaky sort of level - I take them in my stride if a reply challenges what I have said.   As I said, nothing I don't think contentious about what I have posted today.  However, the anxiety I now feel is an unhelpful type of anxiety in an extreme.  It is not the fault of Phatmass nor our members either - nor any posts at all, it is just a product of my mental illness at this time.

I am hoping to continue posting into this thread - although if I do disappear, it is only temporary.  With bipolar as restless for me now as it is, that situation can change almost in an instant - and I need respond to that change in whatever manner I feel is appropriate for me to keep bipolar in control........I hope and pray.  The illness in me can be insidious - I can feel back to normal and coping quite well.  Suddenly almost, I am in trouble again needing to make adjustments.  Others can find that just as confusing and abnormal as if I was consistently chopping and changing for (to them) no reason at all.  What I have been doing is making adjustments in the hope of bipolar staying in my control.

It has been a complete surprise that bipolar could get as nasty and threatening as it is now - first time in around 10 - 12 years or so bipolar has been as nasty as now.  A very real plus plus plus is that I am not hearing a voice or voices nor do I  have that feeling that they are around somewhere and close before they actually speak up.  But that situation can change suddenly too.

It's a drag! So far so good.  As long as bipolar is in my control and not it in control of me, I am not a hospital case.  Although if bipolar is seeming to be a real threat to my control, then it might be time for hospital.  My psychiatrist is easy to reach and I can also contact immediately Emergency Mental Health in the public system if necessary.

Thank you very much for prayer.  It is a hidden and humble self effacing worker.  Only in Heaven will we know what prayer has accomplished...........and "more than this world could dream of"...... almost a quote from Fulton Sheen I think.

Deo Gratius, Laudate Dominum.

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At this point, anxiety has vanished altogether.

 

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In most cases of MI, hospitalization is for the patient's protection, moreso than for the community's protection.  As I said: "in most cases".

Edited July 8, 2017 by BarbaraTherese

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VIVIEN LEIGH

An appropriate article just now.  Vivien Leigh suffered bipolar disorder.  What people do need to know is that all mental illness comes in multiple expressions - from mild to most serious and can embrace a multiple of various symptoms or expressions.  The one particular illness suffered by one person, can be as varied as our own unique selfhood is created by God as a-one-of-only, never to be repeated.   Also, where bipolar is concerned, it can be quite insidious.  In my case, I have sailed through much in life including a shift out of my previous suburb which did grieve me without the slightest sign of bipolar - and other serious life stresses too.  My psychiatrist even warned me before the shift that I just might have an episode.  A shift of residence is regarded as a major stress in life - and mine was mandatory, not voluntary.  Nope! I sailed through it all no problem re bipolar despite the fact that I grieved and sometimes still do.   Just now, it is a very mild stressor indeed compared to some others I have experienced.  This rather mild stress has triggered a very restless bipolar and a possible episode.  The first time in around 10-12 years I have had to take the very serious steps I have to address the problem responsibly.

It is a positive learning curve for me.

Some reading about a particular case of bipolar can conclude that what they have read is the only symptoms of the illness.........not so!   I do not know as intimately the other mental illnesses as I do my brand of bipolar.

"Vivien Leigh - A Star With a Secret" HERE

 

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Vincent's Quote of the Day - St Vincent de Paul Society

 

Jul 07, 2017

In God’s eyes, it is a benefit to be treated as Our Lord was,

although it may seem to be an evil according to the world (VIII:233).

 

 

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LOVE OUR PARISH AS OUR HOMELAND

Excerpt "As Catholics we should love our parish and love our homeland. If they take the kneelers out of your church, that is not a reason to leave, but to stay and make sure they put them back. If your country legalizes abortion, that is not a reason to leave, that is a reason to stay and advocate for the rights of the unborn. When you love a place both the things that go well and the things that go awry are equally powerful reasons to stay.

Catholics should not turn tail and run every time something goes awry in their parish, community, or country.

“When establishing his church Christ assured the apostles that the gates of Hell would not prevail against it"  HERE

(All formatting is mine)

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Bipolar:  Hanging in there, no better really but then again, no worse.  Laudate Dominum

Edited July 9, 2017 by BarbaraTherese

[Guest]

WHAT A COMEDY OF ERRORS!

Read only if you have an incredible Gift of patience and understanding!

I keep a Journal and what follows is a copy and paste, with edits to remove actual names.  If tense chops and changes I might have edited without staying in the correct tense.

5.02pm  9.7.17 Can’t help but laugh.  Just rang Chemist to find out if I need any scripts – and they can’t find my scripts!   I took them over there last Wed or Thur as my psychiatrist suggested I get a Webster Pack. (Saw her last Tuesday 4.7.17)  There is a script for Ox among them that my GP gave me so I would have one on hand all the time.  Also someone rang me from Chemist after 4.7.17 and said that I had no more scripts for Seroquel 200XR.  I could not make the Asian chemist understand that I did not need the Ox script filled - because I had almost a full bottle on hand......eventually he got there.

9.7.17 What a comedy of errors, at least I am laughing.  They found my scripts but the chemist I was speaking to (it's Sunday here) was a part time Asian Chemist for weekends - and with a very heavy accent and I found it difficult at times impossible to understand him.  Even the very kind man lost his cool once!   Because my psych. changed my 100mg Seroquel at night (instant release) to 200mg (instant release) at night, I could not make him understand what was going on.  Eventually he found the list of what should go into the Webster Pack that my GP had written out.  Then the confusion was that last time I was in the Chemist, I was told that a Webster Pack would be one month’s supply.  The Asian chemist and I got into confusion over that and eventually I could understand that I can have one week’s supply, two weeks or one month..........not that one month's supply every time as I had thought.

I could not get the dear Chemist to understand that it is not prescriptions I am taking over tomorrow because they have them all.  What I am taking to them tomorrow is all the actual medication I have on hand here, which is what I need do for the Webster Pack.

I have never seen a pack of Seroquel 200mg instant release – I had been taking 2 x 100mg Seroquel at night instant release.  I am just so very confused and thank God indeed my medication will be in a Webster Pack.  Because I do not get the Webster until Tuesday, I have to remember to take out Monday night's medication.  And just now my memory is appalling far beyond the norm.

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Hanging in there still and at least when the above situation was finally all sorted out, all I could do was laugh.  Still no need today to take half an Oxazepam - and the rest of tonight will be an indication of whether I can take a bit of breath and think that just perhaps I just might work through this ok.........or whether to say on high alert.   Hope.  I see my psych again this Tuesday 11th July.  And a Senior Mental Health worker will be calling in on 13th July Thursday.

 

Deo Gratius, today I have had a shower and actually washed and blow dried my hair.  I have done the usual daily tasks except the catbox (doing that later) as well as check all stock for my shopping list delivered Tuesday after 2pm...........and now thankfully at 5.47pm I THINK I MIGHT have a Webster Pack all organised to be delivered Tuesday too.  See my psych. Tuesday morning after which my brother and I are having coffee here.  He and his wife leave for the USA Thursday and back end August.  If I should HAVE to see my psych while they are away, she is going to arrange transport to her and back.

 

Laudate Dominum Deo Gratius............sometimes that can seem such a shortfall. somehow

 

Forgot to mention that I attended Sat Vigil Mass and was my turn as a welcomer and also to sell Vinnies raffle tickets.  I think I did ok without anyone realising I was so confused inside.  I am very grateful beyond words.

Edited July 9, 2017 by BarbaraTherese

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After posting the previous post, I needed half an Ox to ward off anxiety.  Bit later, I posted into Catholic Answers forums "World News" about the G20 and the anxiety started to increase.  I just have to stop posting anywhere until I am really sure I am well and truly over this hurdle...Hope.....and a very big mea maxima culpa.  I am addicted to posting in either Phatmass or CA or both most daily, it has most often been just a normal part of my day.

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 St Vincent de Paul Society

 

Jul 10, 2017

Quote

Trust in God’s infinite goodness,

and you can be sure that He will strengthen you

in the test he wills to make of your patience (VIII:233).

 

 

Jul 10, 2017

 

Quote

“When we meet with things very pleasing,

before yielding to the joy they elicit,

let us raise our hearts to God and thank his loving mercy which sends us the consolation.”

– St. Louise de Marillac

 

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INDIFFERENCE

Indifference is to be practiced in things belonging to the natural life, as in health, sickness, beauty, deformity, weakness, strength: in the affairs of the spiritual life, as in dryness, consolations, relish, aridity,; in actions, in sufferings — briefly, in all sorts of events.

- Francis de Sales, Treatise on the Love of God 

 

 

INDIFFERENCE

Indifference is to be practiced in things belonging to the natural life, as in health, sickness, beauty, deformity, weakness, strength: in the affairs of the spiritual life, as in dryness, consolations, relish, aridity,; in actions, in sufferings — briefly, in all sorts of events.

- Francis de Sales, Treatise on the Love of God 

[Guest]

 

Saw my psychiatrist today and I am still sane.  Hanging in there and probably more pluses than the opposite.  Few 'flies only in the ointment'.  Deo Gratius Laudate Dominum.

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Message of the Day

“And so when death has been brought upon a saint, we ought not to think that an evil has happened to him or her, but a thing indifferent, which is an evil to a wicked person, while to the good it is rest and freedom from evils.” - John Cassian [5th C.], “Conference of Abbot Theodore”   (We all shall die; it’s just that simple. Are you ready?)   ________________________________________________     A TREATISE OF OBEDIENCE - by St. Catherine of Siena, from her Dialogues   How obedience is the key with which Heaven is opened, and how the soul should fasten it by means of a cord to her girdle, and of the excellences of obedience.   Oh! blessed obedience! you voyage without fatigue, and reach without danger the port of salvation, you are conformed to My only-begotten Son, the Word, you board the ship of the holy cross, forcing yourself to endure, so as not to transgress the obedience of the Word, nor abandon His doctrine, of which you make a table when you eat the food of souls, dwelling in the love of your neighbor, being anointed with true humility, which saves you from coveting, contrary to My will, his possessions, you walk erect, without bending, for your heart is sincere and not false, loving generously and truly My creatures, you are a sunrise drawing after you the light of divine grace, you are a sun which makes the earth, that is to say, the organs of the soul, to germinate with the heat of charity, all of which as well as those of the body produce life-giving fruit for yourself and your neighbor. You are even cheerful, for your face is never wrinkled with impatience, but smooth and pleasant with the happiness of patience, and even in its fortitude you are great by your long endurance, so long that it reaches from earth to heaven and unlocks the celestial door. You are a hidden pearl, trampled by the world, abasing yourself, submitting to all creatures. Yet your kingdom is so great that no one can rule you, for you have come out of the mortal servitude of your own sensuality, which destroyed your dignity, and having slain this enemy with hatred and dislike of your own pleasure have re-obtained your liberty.” Paperback (Kindle version link via book image above))   Both the above texts come courtesy of

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THE MORE UNWORTHY WE ARE

A reflection from The St Vincent de Paul Society

Quote

 

Jul 12, 2017

 

“The greater my unworthiness, the more abundant His mercy.”
– St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

 

 

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Author and Publisher - Catholic Online HERE

 

Facts

Feastday: July 13
Patron of the childless, of Dukes, of the handicapped and those rejected by Religious Order
Death: 1024