Private Vows in The Laity/Spirituality

[Guest]

St Vincent de Paul Society http://famvin.org/formation/

 

Quote

 

Quote of the Day – November 19

Act like those good pilots who, finding themselves tossed about by the storm, redouble their courage and turn the prow of their ships against the most furious waves of the sea, which seem to rise to engulf them (V:211).

 

Above: 2minutes 16 seconds

POOR IN EVERYTHING

Monday of the Thirty-fourth week in Ordinary Time

http://dailygospel.org/main.php?language=AM&module=commentary&localdate=20161121&id=4412

Commentary of the day
Blessed Charles de Foucauld (1858-1916), hermit and missionary in the Sahara
Meditations on the Gospel, 263

 

"Those others have all made offerings from their surplus wealth, but she... has offered her whole livelihood."

"Don't let us despise the poor and little ones...; not only are they our brothers in God but they are the ones who most perfectly imitate Jesus in his outward life. They perfectly symbolize Jesus as workman at Nazareth. These are the firstborn among God's elect and the first to be summoned to the Saviour's crib. They were Jesus' constant companions from birth to death; both Mary and Joseph and the apostles belonged to them... Far from despising them, let us honour them, honouring in them the images of Jesus and his holy parents. Instead of spurning them, let us admire them... Let us imitate them and, seeing that theirs is the better state, the one chosen by Jesus for himself and those who belong to him, the one he called first around his crib, the one he showed forth in deed and word..., let us embrace it... Let us become poor workmen like him, like Mary, Joseph, the apostles, the shepherds and, if we should ever be called to the apostolate, let us remain in that life as poor as he himself remained, as poor as a saint Paul did, his “faithful imitator” (cf. 1Cor 11,1)........."..............

 

Quote

.........."..........Let us never stop being poor in everything, brothers to the poor, friends of the poor; let us be the poorest of the poor as Jesus was and, like him, let us love the poor and keep them around us."

 

[Guest]

CHAT

More about my journey with mental illness

One thing I did not write about in posting about my journey was the voice, sometimes voices.  I could be admitted to a psychiatric hospital not in fear but in blind absolute terror.  One admission in terror, they knocked me out with an injection of something or other but I was having a nightmare, an horrific nightmare.  At one point I suddenly woke and there was a nurse sitting by my bed.  I begged with her not to leave me even if I fell asleep again.  She promised not to leave and said that they knew I was having some sort of a terrible nightmare and decided to sit by my bed until morning, which they did.  I recall that nightmare although cannot recall why it terrified me so much the way it did.

 

One night at home and desperate, really afraid as the noise in my head (voice voices) was dreadful, I rang up an Order of priests in the early morning hours asking how I would go about contacting an exorcist.  It ran something like this:

“Father, how can I contact an exorcist?”

“I really don’t know”

“Oh……well then, Father, I will have to make it a yes for a yes and a no for a no”

“Sounds good to me” We hung up.

The Yes would be to my Faith, the No would be to the voice or voices.  Problem was that at times I got caught up in it all meaning that I could not discern reality, or worse what the voice voices were presenting was the actual reality.  Hence admissions to hospital in blind absolute terror.  The voice voices in my head painted a shocking reality indeed to my imagination not with visual images, rather with words.  The biggest mistake when hearing voices is to believe them while sometimes one just gets caught up in it all without realising what is happening.  The best things to do is to tell them to "Get lost!" in whatever terms one likes or to strive to not listen to them at all - or even to argue with them.  I could have running conversations with mine.  A doctor once asked me "What do your voices say?" Me (probably frowning I suspect - weird question): "Whatever they are saying".

 

At times, I could not sufficiently think with clarity in order to know what Faith was telling me.  I doubt at those times I could even think the word “Faith” or similar.  I would not be able to ask God for His Help either, because at those times I could not even think “God”.  It was not a lack of belief, or rather it was the absence of religious belief at all, not through any sort of denial, rather because it simply was not there anywhere to my consciousness then – as if religious belief and God had never ever existed for me ever in the first place.  It truly was an altered, totally different, state of consciousness.

 

Another time, in hospital, I woke during the night with an urge to walk down the long corridor to the laundry.  When I turned into the laundry, I had my one and only visual hallucination ever (edit: no, there was one other really terrible one).  I recall the laundry incident now laughing - it still makes me laugh.  What I saw in the laundry was a thing, but a thing that pulsed with life and it was a really terrible sight –scared the wits out of me.  I ran back down the corridor with the impression that thing was running in the opposite direction away from me........or so I hoped.  Before reaching my bedroom I stopped and said to myself “Next time I won’t run, it will be to the death” and with that I started to walk slowly back to the laundry with determination to confront the jolly thing – somehow I had “true grit” from somewhere Deo Gratius; however, it was gone.  I returned to my room, lit up a smoke (not permitted in bedrooms – always the rebel) and reflected about what I had seen and decided that it must have surely been the gates of hell, but it was not inanimate as any sort of gate is -  but it was animate.   It was not a person, it was an alive thing, an inanimate object animated.

 

Plenty more memories………some dreadful……….some funny.  What I do know is that at times full knowledge and full consent was totally absent, not at home.  Was it always so and if not, then when and where……..I have no idea whatsoever.  I abandon myself to God’s Love and Mercy and hope to be able to do so at Judgement.  And without any sort of sureness whatsoever, not one tiny little drop of sureness.  It is confident and trustful Hope alone. 

 

I am assured by doctors that I am neither schizophrenic nor any sort of schizoid.  I suffer bipolar disorder.  

 

___________

And if I do get through those pearly gates, then who will not?

[Guest]

Must go to bed.  1.30am here and I have to iron tomorrow......oh dear, today rather.  I just would like to get it out and done with. Done and dusted.

You have to be very careful indeed of a voice heard.  It can be very nice saying all the things you would really love to hear – enchanting and beguiling - soothing and comforting, consoling.  It is just to draw you in until it knows it has you - for as long as that takes – and then you start to cop it well and truly.   What is "it" is the question - and the voice knows the answer too.  I don’t think I would ever hear a true locution (voice of Jesus etc.) because Jesus etc. knows what my response would be every time: “Get lost, willya, I am sick to death of voices, had my fill”.   Always speak to your spiritual director and follow the advice with docility.

Please don’t lapse into the ridiculous on any score of mine at all - as I used to say "Take good care and don't stick your neck out, that's my department." I have been told by a senior mental health worker that eventually, if you fight it, the voices will get softer and eventually cease insofar as you don't give up the fight, the struggle.  Follow your doctor's advice and always take prescribed medication. My voice voices stopped completely but it took many years indeed.  The senior MH worker gave me an article on handling voices to underscore that the road I was taking was the recommended road in broad terms.

 

Where do voices in the head come from..........mine come from mental illness, from myself, as confusing as that is.  There is good me and there is bad me.......and in mental illness one experiences the not me.

__________

The "not me" is always a potential of the human mind.  Thankfully most often probably for the majority it is a an entirely remote one never experienced.

[Guest]

 

In God's eyes, it is a benefit to be treated as Our Lord was, although it may seen to be

an evil according to the world (VIII:233).

(Writings of St Vincent de Paul)

[Guest]

CHAT

Mental Illness

Delving back into the years of my illness has taken the stuffing out of me.  With that on board I have also developed a nasty case of hay fever as Spring draws to a close here; nevertheless I have been able to get some of the ironing done.  Tomorrow morning I am out probably until the early afternoon, then more ironing after and on Friday and Saturday - that should put it all to bed.  Our parish pastoral associate wants to catch up with me too, probably at Saturday Vigil Mass, about what I think might be a cuppa being organised after one of our Masses.

I first made private vows over 35 years ago now.  Back then they were yearly renewed vows and conditional.  Conditional that if I became ill (bipolar episode) the vows were suspended until I was back to normal again.  I kept to those vows.  As long as I was well, I functioned as normal as any other person - when I was ill, it could be a totally bizarre experience.  While functioning normally I had a ministry or apostolate (not a formally recognized ministry) in my parish and neighbourhood.  I thought it was a hidden ministry.  However, a couple of years down the line, my pp let me know that he knew "what I was up to".  That did surprise me.  He put it in writing for my then Archbishop.  My Archbishop would have been well aware of the problems I was struggling with during an episode as I wrote to him about them and at times, very frankly so.  Over time, we began to exchange letters and did so until he became ill after retirement.

Sometimes an episode could be relatively short, sometimes very long over months.  At times, returning to normal would be short, at other times it would be a fairly long time over months.  Sometimes normality and episode seemed to run into each other without a clear demarcation line at all.

After every bipolar episode my first move when back to myself was to go to Confession.  While I felt and believed very strongly that whatever occurred during an episode could not be seriously sinful due to my mental state, nevertheless I went to Confession with as much as I could recall without attempting to work out what my moral state was as that would have been impossible I think. Not only that, but what we think and what we feel are not necessarily the truth of matters.  Sometimes my recall was excellent, sometimes it was a fragmented type of memory with pieces missing.  Sometimes someone would mention something and I would not remember it at all.   For another example, I would recall being somewhere, with no idea how I arrived there.  I could have a memory that I could not know whether it was an actual memory or a nightmare while asleep that stayed in memory.

Not going to write about it anymore just now, I am loosing more stuffing and getting drained!

Deo Gratius

Edited November 23, 2016 by BarbaraTherese

[Guest]

Blame & Contempt

Posted on November 23, 2016 in Quote of the Day

St Vincent de Paul Society

"God’s divine goodness is merciful to us when it pleases Him to allow us to encounter blame and public contempt (V:230). "

(St Vincent de Paul)

 

[Guest]

CHAT

 

Mental Illness - Weird Accent

Having disturbed something of a Pandora’s Box for memories from bipolar episodes, the lid seems to have flown open of its own accord again.

 

Waking up one morning and in a normal state of mind and thinking to myself something like that it was time for coffee, my voice sounded strange in my thoughts.  Not knowing whether I was imagining it or if it was real, after a few times speaking to myself out loud, I rang my motherz :

 

“Mum, does my voice sound funny?”

“Does it ever!”

 

I was speaking in a strange accent.  I tried very hard to lose it but it would not budge.   I got in to see my psychiatrist in an emergency appointment, and she informed me that it was not unheard of but rare.  I asked if there was any cure but she did not know of any and that it probably might disappear in due course.  She thought it sounded sort of a cross between a welsh and irish, with a touch of French i.e. unidentifiable as a particular known accent.  She felt that it could have been caused by stress while she added that why it can happen is not known for sure.

 

In other words, not much help in this instance.  Deal with it.

 

The problem I had was that I was not experiencing an overt state of psychosis, I seemed to be functioning normally in my daily life - but I had to go about my life with this strange accent.  Those who knew me thought it was weird indeed but I had no explanation, it just happened.  The accent persisted for a few months and then one morning I woke up back to my normal voice and the strange was gone as suddenly as it had arrived.

 

The problem I had then was that those who knew me had got used to the weird accent and then suddenly, I was back speaking normally again.  This weird experience of the strange accent came and went suddenly and unanticipated a couple of times - even perhaps months or more apart but not often, probably three times or so - but in later years I have never experienced it – or in the past 15 years or so as a guess.

 

The blessing was that by the time the accent came and went I had learnt by then that the only option I had after an episode or the strange speaking voice was to hold my head up and go on as if nothing at all had happened.  There was no other option.

 

Whenever able or I felt it necessary, I have gone to Confession and if able to Mass and Holy Communion.   I have made two General Confessions over my lifetime and wrote into an exercise book every small and remotely big thing I could remember from the whole of my life and took the book along with me to Confession.  Both times, the priest was very patient and compassionate in listening to everything I had written into that book and granting absolution and penance.  I was cured of scruples in Confession, although not in either General Confession.  In an ordinary Confession after an episode, Father said to me as I was getting up “Be happy” and my scruples had vanished and never returned.  Coming home from that Confession, I was experiencing the world itself in a new way as if I had been blinded and could see again.  Scruples brings with it a level of depression and depression means that the whole of reality is distorted, coloured a tone of black i.e. little hurdles, problems, become giant mountains and one is in an almost consistent state of anxiety at times high anxiety and stress worrying over one's state of soul.

 

A couple of Confession back, Father advised me to never go into the past again - not even if I recalled something that I was unsure of confessing that I felt I should confess.  That advice restored to me complete Peace of Soul in every way........I no longer have to be concerned about any sort of 'Pandora's box' experience in future.  Do I still grapple with guilt at times over my journey with mental illness?  At times, yes indeed I do - mainly at night when 'my demons' (as I call them) visit........not literal demons of course.

 

Very often, I still will make notes for Confession, which I am very careful to destroy after and I think destroying notes for Confession especially is important as a common sense aid to peace of mind or as a "just in case".

 

 

 

"Greater Assistance from The Lord"

 

 

[Guest]

LAKI ERUPTION/FRENCH REVOLUTION

On and off I have been watching a documentary on FoxtelGo "The Killer Cloud" about the Laki volcanic eruption in Iceland in 1783.  Looked for the documentary on You Tube, but could not find it there (runs for 48mins). 

Laki probably contributed to the French Revolution.  This reminded me that we can think we are in control or gaining control in hope economically and politically, but Mother Nature/Divine Providence alone can prove just how wrong we can be.  Mother Nature without warning can change the course of history. 

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2010/apr/15/iceland-volcano-weather-french-revolution

It is not a case for any kind of despair.  We can only play the cards we are dealt, or work with the what we have, the known (in our own journey too), and God's Gift to us - and so we continue to work on economic situations and the political with Hope.  We know too that outcomes in our own journey, and on the wider stage, are in God's Hands, His Divine Providence.

Deo Gratius

_______________________

Chat

Decided to leave the ironing for today after being out until after 1pm.  Decided to take a break and  concentrate on cleaning up the inside of Bethany after big winds blew leaves from trees into the interior along with dust the moment a door was opened.  I'll be ironing most of the day tomorrow and probably Saturday also.  At least with what I got done today, I have a clear run to finish the ironing.   I am out Monday this coming week to the Lectio Divina Group in the parish - first time for me in the group.  Then on Tuesday, I have a visitor - my foster son will be here to do some tasks I can't do and help remove all the leaves on the exterior.  Wednesday and Thursday this coming week, I have visitors again. They regularly call fortnightly (small cost) to help me with any housework and garden and tasks I can no longer do myself.  I am thinking of applying for an emergency shift into a flat (prayerfully) - but cannot do anymore than think about it while Buddie, my Maltese Cross, is still my dear companion.  I am reluctant too to take accommodation away from our homeless.  Added to that even an emergency shift for someone in my position could take years, perhaps quite a few years and by then, I might have been carried out of here in a box.  I would not be top priority by far (and rightly) with the government housing authority - even for an emergency shift.

Saturday, after Vigil Mass, I am selling for St Vinnies Christmas Cards and Calendars, as well as raffle tickets.  I know our pastoral associate wants to catch up with me too - probably about a tea and coffee being arranged for after a Vigil Mass I think.  I have volunteered to help with the latter whenever we have them.

.........and on we go.......the journey and a very ordinary kind of life...........

[Guest]

 

DECISION FOR BISHOPS' CONFERENCES?

 

 

Quote

 

"Are some bishops in Amoris debate still fighting the last war?"

Published: 25 November 2016

"Some protagonists in the Amoris tussle seem to be operating from an outdated political script, or perhaps they see something the rest of us don’t," writes John Allen in Crux.

Granted, not everything in life is about politics, and especially in the Church, people generally aspire to transcend a strictly Machiavellian perspective and see things through a more evangelical or spiritual lens. ..........

...........Both conservatives and liberals in the argument seem to be embracing strategies not necessarily conducive to their success...........Read entire article HERE

 

 

I have no problems personally with the Document, Amoris Laetitiia.  What I do wonder is if interpretation of the Document was left up to the various Diocesan Bishops' Conferences as "some other progressives" suggest, would it lead to different interpretations in different countries according to the jurisdiction/territory of each Conference?

The moral rule of full knowledge and full consent has always applied to grave matter before mortal sin or not is determined.  The state of mortal sin (or fasting regulations) alone can preclude a person from Holy Communion.  To my way of thinking if those in certain irregular marital situations were permitted to receive The Blessed Eucharist might bring scandal to The Church, it is a misreading.  Rather it is a problem of education. It is a failure of catechesis.

It is a problem of seeing the splinter in the other's eye but not the log in one's own.  We already know what the desire to protect The Church from scandal in all circumstances has effected.

The Church is organic, The Living Body of Christ, and She will grow over time (change is growth).  I do not mean change for the sake of it, but change under the influence of The Holy Spirit "I will ask The Father and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever - The Spirit of Truth".

There are those, however, to whom any sort of change whatsoever is a huge crisis and it can be in reality a purely personal crisis rather than one for The Church.  We are created social beings and we do gain confidence by gathering with those who think similarly - the common bond of a community.

It is a terrible matter to deny a Catholic Holy Communion, which is not to state that there are some circumstances that do so.

___________

Tried to post the above into OpenMic, but pham softwear would not permit.

..........that is I tried to post into a new thread in OpenMic, but pham softwear would not permit.

 

Edited November 25, 2016 by BarbaraTherese

[Guest]

Pater Noster

St Teresa of Avila

https://www.ccel.org/ccel/teresa/way.html

Quote

 

The Way of Perfection, by Teresa of Avila (1515-1582)

 

Treats of these last words of the Paternoster

"But deliver us from evil. Amen."

 

Now let us go back and finish the journey which I have been describing, for the Lord seems to have been saving me labour by teaching both you and me the Way which I began to outline to you and by showing me how much we ask for when we repeat this evangelical prayer. May He be for ever blessed, for it had certainly never entered my mind that there were such great secrets in it. You have now seen that it comprises the whole spiritual road, right from the beginning, until God absorbs the soul and gives it to drink abundantly of the fountain of living water which I told you was at the end of the road.

 

It seems, sisters, that the Lord's will has been to teach us what great consolation is comprised in it, and this is a great advantage to those who cannot read. If they understood this prayer, they could derive a great deal of sound instruction from it and would find it a real comfort. Our books may be taken from us, but this is a book which no one can take away, and it comes from the lips of the Truth Himself, Who cannot err.

 

 

[Guest]

QUOTE OF THE DAY

November 25 - St Vincent de Paul Society

 

Quote

 

Quote of the Day

We must not toy with promising things to God

and then failing

to keep our word to Him (V:256).

 

 

[Guest]

http://evangeli.net/gospel-master

A team of 200 priests comment on daily Gospel

Liturgical day: Saturday 34th in Ordinary Time

Gospel text (Lc 21,34-36): Jesus said to his disciples, «Be on your guard; let not your hearts be weighed down with a life of pleasure, drunkenness and worldly cares, lest that day catch you suddenly as a trap. For it will come upon all the inhabitants of the whole earth. But watch at all times and pray, that you may be able to escape all that is bound to happen and to stand before the Son of Man».

___________

Conscience of eternal life

EDITORIAL TEAM evangeli.net (based on texts by Benedict XVI)
(Città del Vaticano, Vatican)

Quote

Today, we should achieve that a new awareness of our vocation for eternal life ripens within us, by living in such a way that we can appear —face to face before God— with our present life. Time, that is pure transition, falls to pieces and becomes mere termination.

During the past decades, thoughts about afterlife and eternal life have been increasingly cornered and considered marginal even in the Church preaching. It was feared, perhaps, that the excessive attention to the thought of the afterlife would lead Christians to neglect this world and its concrete historical reality. It seemed as if Christians had been concerned only halfway in building this world, putting at stake only half of his heart. But, with these ideologies, the world has not certainly been made more livable and more human.

 

Quote

—Grant me, O Jesus, to live with a "conscience of eternal life" and, thus, to break free from the greed of wanting to hustle everything immediately, because I know that this is the time to work.

What I have experienced at times in The Church is a desire to manipulate and anticipate Divine Providence.  The Church decides to act in a certain manner so this might be avoided and that accomplished.  The whole Truth is not hidden nor warped in any way, rather the whole and entire Truth is not presented in order to bring about a certain outcome.  It does not work.  I don't think that what is actually being done in not presenting the whole of the Truth is fully realised  - and I am not speaking necessarily about Truth in doctrinal matters.   The problem with an ideology can be that one can follow one without realising it.

Divine Providence cannot be manipulated.  It cannot be anticipated either, other than to hold that any outcome at all is for the best.

 

 

“Ideology knows the answer before the question has been asked"
          George Packer
 

[Guest]

[Guest]

"The Killer Cloud"

Link to thread on documentary "The Killer Cloud" (Open Mic)

 

[Guest]

CHAT

Commitments

Spoke with our Pastoral Associate last night before Vigil Mass.  It is decided that our coffee and tea after Vigil Mass won't be until February 2017.  Probably most all just now are getting into preparations for Christmas and a busy time.  Sr. B, our Pastoral Associate, leaves for overseas and the Chapter of her religious order, then a break for some holidays returning towards the end of January 2017. 

Sister will be advising our parish secretary to put me on the list for a welcomer at Vigil Mass.

Tomorrow I begin with the Lectio Divina group normally meeting fortnightly but during Advent and Lent weekly.

I did toss up about returning to school and an adult campus; however a bit of time and prayer, and I have decided to take on online studies at the U3A (University of The Third Age) for those over 50yrs of age.  The courses are quite cheap and one can pace oneself in the main.  This is a potential for January 2017 dependant on time factor and after my budget hopefully will return to normal.  I have also seen and registered that one can take up free online courses for the aged in computer studies.

Also, one can study through Yale online free.  I think U3A might be sufficient for me the foreseeable future anyway.  Next year too, I am hoping to join a senior citizens' club to widen my contacts and my vineyard.  I will be seeking a senior citizens' club with outings, lunches and activities - not every week but now and then. There are a few clubs in our area.  I will be contacting my local Council for more information re clubs that fit my requirements.  I know we do have a free local bus through the Council that stops out the front of our units here - and this just might just take me to and fro a senior citizens' club too.

Considering perhaps taking on one other load of ironing fortnightly and perhaps advertising in our parish bulletin.  While my budget would welcome the extra income, I am not so sure about time factor.  I think at this point I might need a bit more time to unfold with some of the above in place and then assess where I am with available time.  Just writing it down above and it looks like a fair amount to me.  See how things unfold further down the line.....

Venite, exsultemus Domino