Private Vows in The Laity/Spirituality

[BarbTherese]

Removing the blog altogether.  Phatmass is moving very slow for me and also misbehaving at times which, with the blog, is all too time consuming.  I have spent far too much time on the computer and am intensely annoyed that I was not openly advised by WordPress about advertisements until my last post to the blog or the one before that.  I would have no control at all over what is advertised on the blog.  Not only that but I am unsure about what I am doing or what is what on the blog - too unskilled with computers.

[BarbTherese]

Just back from vet and had been quite concerned about my puppy, Buddie. He had developed a cough and it could have been heart or trachea problems Google told me which might require serious surgery. Very concerned, I prayed about my hopes for Buddie but that The Lord's Will be done. Turns out Buddie has only a throat infection and my bank account only $160 lighter.  His trachea (other than infection) and heart are fine.   I don't know how many times I am going to need examples of The Lord's care for me before it sinks in that He really is taking care of me in this journey and in every way and has been doing so for quite some time now and in quite overt and obvious ways.  On the good side, I am thinking, is that I am far from any sort of presumption on His Care, but methinks perhaps just a bit TOO far.  Giving thanks.  Another good is when one journeys expecting nothing one is overcome with Joy at God's happy blessings.  My desire is to be just as overjoyed when His Blessings are not to my taste........when things seem to be going wrong, I can most often drag my feet and heart along.

I had another donation to Bethany too.  Lady called last weekend and asked if I would like a garden seat. It turned out to be a very nice wood and wrought iron garden 2-seater painted lawn green. She would accept nothing for it, but all those who have contributed to Bethany are in my daily prayer of thanksgiving.

Someone who attended the Home Mass commented in a phone call that Bethany is really beautiful and I replied that most all I have has been donated.  I started out 30 years ago with no floor coverings nor window treatments and only an old wringer washing machine, bed and wardrobe.  I did not even have cutlery nor crockery. Much has been given to me by my sons and partners: fiancé  and wife.

___________________

I went to the special Mass and supper afterwards for the Feast of the founder of my SD's religious congregation and on Friday 5th November going to a Mass for the Anointing of The Sick in his parish.

Edited May 26, 2015 by BarbaraTherese

[BarbTherese]

Just watched a documentary on Margaret Olley (decd) an Australian artist and realised nostalgically for the first time that while mental health has been restored, Deo Gratius, I have lost touch in the process with what had been a totally free spirited and artistic, creative, personality.  I sketched, painted and wrote poetry - very unconsciously thought and did what was outside any sort of square.  While I would not return to the days when bipolar was active for anything in the world - I cannot help but wonder, what happened to that person?  Did that person have to disappear with the return of mental health and is she somehow linked only with an active bipolar condition, or is there a way to unite her with my now mental health.  Is she still here or there or somewhere?  If there is a way to resuscitate her, then it is in The Lord's Hands as I have no idea whatsoever - even of how to extend some sort of invitation to return.  It as if she belongs to a different lifetime, as if I have lived three times on a quite broad memory spectrum: childhood, bipolar and post bipolar.................something like that anyway.

C'est la vie...............and on we go into the days..................

[BarbTherese]

There are posts into this thread in a question and answer type of format - re private vows: Vocation Forum "Who is Consecrated?"

 

[BarbTherese]

Just home from seeing my SD.  I will be giving up voluntary work which will allow me to go to Mass through the week.  Father has asked me to keep a Journal on how I am feeling and coping giving up voluntary work and we will re-assess in three months.  Giving up voluntary work does mean that I am going to have even less contact with people and also, I will no longer have the emotional reward vol. wk has given me (I feel that I am useful and needed).  A little nervous over this lifestyle change and on the other hand, over the moon to be able to get to Mass through the week and also Adoration at least once monthly.

Centrelink does pay me $92 fortnight Mobility Allowance due to my back and leg problems and I will loose that (the Mobility Allowance is for travel to and from voluntary work) - hence finances are going to struggle even more at times as I only used the allowance if I really had to do so - it is paid with my age pension regardless of whether I use it or not.  Not too concerned about drop in income, although a quick look at my budget and two only of my Charity donations just might need to go as well.  I need to see what unfolds and make any necessary adjustments, if any, with whatever does unfold.

I just might get interested in painting again.

[AccountDeleted]

Just home from seeing my SD.  I will be giving up voluntary work which will allow me to go to Mass through the week.  Father has asked me to keep a Journal on how I am feeling and coping giving up voluntary work and we will re-assess in three months.  Giving up voluntary work does mean that I am going to have even less contact with people and also, I will no longer have the emotional reward vol. wk has given me (I feel that I am useful and needed).  A little nervous over this lifestyle change and on the other hand, over the moon to be able to get to Mass through the week and also Adoration at least once monthly.

Centrelink does pay me $92 fortnight Mobility Allowance due to my back and leg problems and I will loose that (the Mobility Allowance is for travel to and from voluntary work) - hence finances are going to struggle even more at times as I only used the allowance if I really had to do so - it is paid with my age pension regardless of whether I use it or not.  Not too concerned about drop in income, although a quick look at my budget and two only of my Charity donations just might need to go as well.  I need to see what unfolds and make any necessary adjustments, if any, with whatever does unfold.

I just might get interested in painting again.

Barb

I know you know this already but rest assured if you really need something, God will provide it. I have been very poor recently because of some special expenses, but just when I started to wonder what I was going to do to make ends meet, I was offered some casual work. The extra income isn't a lot, but just enough to cover some more expenses I have coming up. So many things like that have been happening in my life recently that there just doesn't seem any reason to worry about anything anymore!  

Your changed lifestyle sounds lovely. Perhaps you need a rest from helping others physically and should now help them more spiritually through your prayers. And things like painting are a wonderful way to express yourself spiritually too. I would miss my volunteer work if I had to give it up right now, so I understand that you might experience a sense of loss there, but I am sure that your life will be filled with many others ways to feel useful and needed. Enjoy yourself.

[BarbTherese]

OH wow! nunsense - how absolutely wonderful to hear from you.  I have often wondered how you were doing, but didn't post any query wanting to respect your space and privacy. I am over the moon to see you on Phatmass once again - please do not be a stranger...........at least now and then I hope if not regularly which would be even better.  You are missed!

Thank you for the encouragement.  I have been poorer than I will be in past times, and I managed to make it through ok and thank you for reminding me of this fact.  You are a gift once more.  Someone posted here somewhere or other the quote from St Teresa " To reach something good, it is very useful to have gone astray and thus acquire experience"   I really like that quote.  Then this afternoon my SD said on my arrival "I have a thought for the day to share".  It was from a book of thoughts: "What flowers in adversity is a beautiful flower".   I replied "A little flower now and then, Father - far more weeds however".   I saw the similarity with the St Teresa quote.  I think both going astray and also adversity can bring with it much experience and many lessons - self knowledge.  I think too that going astray and adversity does provide rich soil for a measure of true humility one hopes - of which St Teresa had much to say.

I will still be working for St Vinnies doing the secretarial work and Minutes - but with my volunteer work from Anglicare gone, I have just realised that I can come off the emergency visitation assistance roster and go on to a regular roster fortnightly or weekly.  At Anglicare we often dealt with the homeless and always are dealing with those in real need.  I will miss that contact and also with fellow workers at Anglicare.  I will tell my boss tomorrow that I am leaving and offer to stay until he finds someone else for Mondays and Thursdays.

I am sure things will come along to grab my focus - and I am hoping that painting might be one of them again.  And as I said, over the moon to be able to go to weekday Mass and Adoration.

Absolutely delighted to see you on the board once again, nunsense - and to know that all is well with you.   Do stay around if you are able - even just now and then..........Blessings!........regards - Barb

 

[AccountDeleted]

OH wow! nunsense - how absolutely wonderful to hear from you.  I have often wondered how you were doing, but didn't post any query wanting to respect your space and privacy. I am over the moon to see you on Phatmass once again - please do not be a stranger...........at least now and then I hope if not regularly which would be even better.  You are missed!

Thank you for the encouragement.  I have been poorer than I will be in past times, and I managed to make it through ok and thank you for reminding me of this fact.  You are a gift once more.  Someone posted here somewhere or other the quote from St Teresa " To reach something good, it is very useful to have gone astray and thus acquire experience"   I really like that quote.  Then this afternoon my SD said on my arrival "I have a thought for the day to share".  It was from a book of thoughts: "What flowers in adversity is a beautiful flower".   I replied "A little flower now and then, Father - far more weeds however".   I saw the similarity with the St Teresa quote.  I think both going astray and also adversity can bring with it much experience and many lessons - self knowledge.  I think too that going astray and adversity does provide rich soil for a measure of true humility one hopes - of which St Teresa had much to say.

I will still be working for St Vinnies doing the secretarial work and Minutes - but with my volunteer work from Anglicare gone, I have just realised that I can come off the emergency visitation assistance roster and go on to a regular roster fortnightly or weekly.  At Anglicare we often dealt with the homeless and always are dealing with those in real need.  I will miss that contact and also with fellow workers at Anglicare.  I will tell my boss tomorrow that I am leaving and offer to stay until he finds someone else for Mondays and Thursdays.

I am sure things will come along to grab my focus - and I am hoping that painting might be one of them again.  And as I said, over the moon to be able to go to weekday Mass and Adoration.

Absolutely delighted to see you on the board once again, nunsense - and to know that all is well with you.   Do stay around if you are able - even just now and then..........Blessings!........regards - Barb

 

You're a sweetie - thanks. I'm not around much anymore but I do check in from time to time to see how old friends are doing. I am so glad that things are going well for you. Bless you.  

[BarbTherese]

You're a sweetie - thanks. I'm not around much anymore but I do check in from time to time to see how old friends are doing. I am so glad that things are going well for you. Bless you.  

I sure respect your decisions, nunsense.  Would be great to see you post now and then, but knowing you check out old pals and are 'watching from cyberspace' or whatever its called is good too.  To know that all is cruising along for you is wonderful.  Take care and many blessings....may The Lord continue to hold you close as always.........Barb

[BarbTherese]

Having some problems adjusting to this new way of life, while past experience reveals it can take from approximately 6wks to a few months to adjust.  I have only been on the journey for a few weeks.  I have decided to give those adult painting books a try as it is supposed to be a stress reliever.  I have no motivation to draw or paint and the colouring-in exercise might trigger inspiration.  Certainly, what I am now experiencing is a more contemplative type of existence in that I am quietly aware of The Lord more.  My problem is what on earth to do with my hands at times while Peacefully aware of The Lord - I'm not gifted with an ability for long periods just sitting, being still.  This might be conditioning.  Certainly even in monastic life, one does not sit quite still for very long periods.  With two days out of my week now free, there is limited work around house and garden and both have been structured that way knowing I would not be getting younger.

I can't do anything at the moment that involves any sort financial outlay whatsoever.  I am saving to go interstate in January for birthday celebrations.

Years ago I read a supposed quote from the desert fathers:

"“A certain brother went to Abbot Moses in Scete,
and asked him for a good word.
And the elder said to him:
Go, sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.”

My past experience has been that the above really has something to say.  In adjusting to a new way of life of no pre-existing structure one comes up with ideas - some discarded some adopted.  As time passes of whatever length, hindsight reveals that one now has a new way of life.  I think it is the same for any kind of transition "go, sit in your cell" reflects for me "be still and know that I am God" - to free oneself of anxiety and concern insofar as one is able and to be trustful - to strive to rest in Peace in confident trust.  There is nothing so great nor so minute in life in which God is not involved.  I'm not overly anxious, stirring up anxieties, about watching TV more either - it is a really welcome distraction just at this point and one I know that will pass from past experience.......I'm not really a TV fan.

In last night's bulletin (Vigil Mass) the mental health chaplain is looking for volunteers.  I will be ringing the parish office about this on Tuesday to find out what I can. 

Prayerful patience and confident trust - and a prayer really appreciated for this transition period

[AccountDeleted]

Having some problems adjusting to this new way of life, while past experience reveals it can take from approximately 6wks to a few months to adjust.  I have only been on the journey for a few weeks.  I have decided to give those adult painting books a try as it is supposed to be a stress reliever.  I have no motivation to draw or paint and the colouring-in exercise might trigger inspiration.  Certainly, what I am now experiencing is a more contemplative type of existence in that I am quietly aware of The Lord more.  My problem is what on earth to do with my hands at times while Peacefully aware of The Lord - I'm not gifted with an ability for long periods just sitting, being still.  This might be conditioning.  Certainly even in monastic life, one does not sit quite still for very long periods.  With two days out of my week now free, there is limited work around house and garden and both have been structured that way knowing I would not be getting younger.

I can't do anything at the moment that involves any sort financial outlay whatsoever.  I am saving to go interstate in January for birthday celebrations.

Years ago I read a supposed quote from the desert fathers:

"“A certain brother went to Abbot Moses in Scete,
and asked him for a good word.
And the elder said to him:
Go, sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.”

My past experience has been that the above really has something to say.  In adjusting to a new way of life of no pre-existing structure one comes up with ideas - some discarded some adopted.  As time passes of whatever length, hindsight reveals that one now has a new way of life.  I think it is the same for any kind of transition "go, sit in your cell" reflects for me "be still and know that I am God" - to free oneself of anxiety and concern insofar as one is able and to be trustful - to strive to rest in Peace in confident trust.  There is nothing so great nor so minute in life in which God is not involved.  I'm not overly anxious, stirring up anxieties, about watching TV more either - it is a really welcome distraction just at this point and one I know that will pass from past experience.......I'm not really a TV fan.

In last night's bulletin (Vigil Mass) the mental health chaplain is looking for volunteers.  I will be ringing the parish office about this on Tuesday to find out what I can. 

Prayerful patience and confident trust - and a prayer really appreciated for this transition period

Of course you have my prayers, Barb, and hope that things will unfold in good ways for you. The last six months I have been living in shared accommodation (rooming house) because of finances, and sometimes I wondered where it was all leading for me. Then things started changing (don't know why unless God just decided it was time), and now I am living in my own flat, just adopted a cute little 8 month old cat and tomorrow I have my first job interview in over two years!

I think the volunteer work is a good thing. I started feeling more positive when I started doing it, and I branched out from one organisation to two, thinking it would be good to meet more people and do different tasks. I know you have been taking a break from some volunteer work recently, but if the parish work seems interesting, follow up on it and see where it leads. Being alone with God is a good thing, but being alone with oneself for too long at a time can be stressful, especially if one starts to worry at all.

Please pray for me too - not necessarily that I get the job, but that I am ok about it, whatever happens, You and I both know that nothing is more important than trusting in God.

[BarbTherese]

Thank you for your prayers, nunsense, I will be finding out the requirements for the mental health volunteer as it might be right up my alley.  My prayers for you, your little cat and your lifestyle that you will be ok with it all, whatever happens and yes, we both know well that confidently trusting in The Lord is always the direction to take.

[BarbTherese]

Just back from the vet - Buddie is coughing again.  Could be a number of things and if he starts to cough again after this lot of medication treatment, it means an XRay - $600 minimum.  It just might mean that it puts paid to my trip interstate in January but staying hopeful while prepared for the worst.  Lord, we thank and praise You in all things.

[BarbTherese]

Buddie is into his treatment for the cough - stopped for a few days but last two nights one bout each night.  Praying.

I gave the mental health volunteer enquiry a miss.  I wanted to give more time to just no volunteer work at all except for SVP in the parish and as time has passed, I am really appreciating positively the freedom to go to morning Mass through the week (I now take in only one load ironing f/n) and to have more time for prayer.  My prayer times are more relaxed without having to be concerned about what I have to do to work around two days voluntary work and get everything done including my prayer times.  My pace of life has slowed down.

I can recall saying to Father (SD) a few months ago that I am living like a hermit and its not what I signed on for!  He laughed heartily - at the time I was happy he got the joke about signing on, but I wasn't so happy that he missed (I thought) that I really did not find a hermit like existence appealing.  It is beginning to have very real appeal in that I am really appreciating the way my lifestyle is unfolding to date and "unfold" is always what it is all about - many years ago I read a saying supposedly from the desert fathers:  "sit in your cell and your cell will teach you all things".  In putting that into actual practise, it is very true while not specifically the cell per se, of course, that "teaches all things".  It is the willingness and ability to (as it were) have nothing, know nothing, do nothing - and just let God's Will unfold - or thus it has always been for me.

With a mature age social club I belong to, I have signed on for a trip to Monarto Zoo with lunch in October this year $27.50 (VERY reasonable!).  Monarto Zoo here is a non caged zoo where one drives around the zoo with animals roaming free.  I also intend to sign on to another mature ago social outlet for lunch out just now and then.  Hence, I am not living a totally eremitical life and community has always been a mark of Bethany and community for Bethany is whomsoever one comes across in the course of a day unfolding - hence I belong to a few communities and always have done so.  Most often we all do.

I am 70yrs old in Jan 2016 coming, and my life most often has been hectic and on the balance of my 70 year span, most often troubling, confusing even nightmarish often.  I am very grateful and entirely humbled at almost 70yrs to experience so much Peace and Joy and a slow and untroubled pace of life - totally undeserved absolutely.  Deo Gratius!  God is Good to His least.  May The Good Lord grant me The Grace to persevere in Faith until death and come what may until then.  Amen.

While all is Peace and Joyful, I am not without 'exterior troubles', putting things mildly!

[MarysLittleFlower]

I'm also looking forward to a month of hermit like existence in September as I work on call and September is always slow. It will give more time for prayer and to occupy myself with other things. I wonder where God's Will would take us this year