Private Vows in The Laity/Spirituality

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My problem can be (or reason but no excuse) that I find it very difficult to find a spiritual director who has insight into problems of person suffering mental illness, or willing to learn.  I would much rather be without direction, as just now, since my loved, very holy priest religious SD and Confessor, died. I am pretty sure that St Teresa of Avila commented that better to be without direction than to be poorly directed. Anyway whatever - I have experience of direction with no understanding (or worse) of mental Illness -  and the little hell it can be. If I fall, yep! I fall alone now.  Somehow I manage to rise - but never ever alone.  My loved ones in Purgatory and Heaven pray for me constantly I am sure.  All these and what follows are representations of continual and constant realities to me, my reality - a sort of step beyond believing or how I have experienced it rather.

I am dependent on them and forever grateful especially for The Holy Spirit and Our Lady of Perpetual Help as advocates.  The Holy Spirit, Third Person of The Blessed Trinity, for His Grace on mnay levels.  I have a statue of Our Lady in front garden near front door - and around the back under my pergola with flowers and greenery, farm animals around it.  Three of Our Lady inside, with a couple of wall pictures.  My little oratory has a small Trinity Cross with The Blessed Eucharist image as central - small (but taller than the Trinity Cross) statues of Our Lady of The Sacred Heart and St Joseph either side.  My dec'd parents' rosary beads either side too.  Birds will always remind me of The Holy Spirit, as does the wind. It blows most always right down the side of my unit outside my large computer/TV area window.  The wind makes much noise, a veritable racket, in my large red leaf cotton wood against the window. No gentle breeze at all, rather a demanding and noisy  movement of branches with battering of leaves call.  A sense of urgency to prayer in our troubled world.

My dining area has a 40cm statue of The Sacred Heart central in my dining room cabinet.  That devotion goes back to childhood.  Statue of St Joseph, Patron of The Church and of a Happy Death, on smaller cabinet-shelf with family pictures. In the hallway a large round traditional image of The Sacred Heart.  I have no idea where it came from, lost to time and poor memory probably.  Over a part of my desk is an artist's impression of Jesus (from a movie I think) talking with Mary Magdalen, Apostle to the Apostles.  She is very serious, He is laughing.  I imagine He might be laughing because she is taking herself and problem much too seriously.  That can speak to me.  Did a search, but Google Images could not find reproduction for me.

I have a lovely almost miraculous anecdote from a very large image of St Rita of Cascia gifted to me and then re-gifted to someone in need - but too long an anecdote to repeat here now.

Much more ....including a heavy beautiful silver very large (probably around 60cm) crucifix with its own little shelf underneath, sighted at the end of the hall the moment one walks into the hall from the front door...gift of my son and his wife.  My hall tends to be a bit dark, but the end of the hall with the crucifix is lighted by natural light or light fittings at night.  It just all fell into place most effectively.

...  and I love having all these artists' impressions around the place.  Also it advertises without saying that I am very much Catholic without asking.

I do wish I could post pictures I have transferred from mobile to computer.  However, Windows 10 has given me, computer dummy, more than a few grey hairs I am sure.  It will happen with time, The Lord's time.

Red Leaf Cotton Wood:

There is a new direction indicating in my journey.  Thomas Merton quoted the Fathers in: "sit in your cell and your cell will tell you what to do".  So I sat in my cell, my unit, almost immobilized by physical problems, when suddenly my 'cell' spoke - i.e. pneumonia and then a very severe episode of bipolar settled in   Out of the ashes of that experience and very disturbing and unsettling, consequences are indicating a possible perhaps completely new potential direction.  Dare I hope that the phoenix (i.e. new direction) might be arising out of the ashes?   Ah well, if not, then on we go status quo.    Reminds me of lines from my favourite poem (also on the walls here): "God Knows" https://alongthebeam.com/2017/12/31/god-knows-by-minnie-louise-haskins/

"o heart be still:
What need our little life
Our human life to know,
If God hath comprehension?
In all the dizzy strife
Of things both high and low,
God hideth His intention."

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15.12.20 Tuesday:  I had a lovely experience this morning. 

Incidentally, I do not regard my residence here "Bethany" (also name for a way of life as per my rule) as mine.  I am  merely the live-in caretaker in my book.  Bethany belongs to all.  But I don't always use "our unit, my home" or similar as the royal plural can confuse people and lead to long explanations - being me.  Bethany is a government housing residence - and very thankfully again, a rent I can afford out of my age pension.  Not the exorbitant rent in private rentals - if indeed you are successful in finding one.  I was 6 years homeless in the long ago, before my government housing opportunity was offered.

Someone had given me a TV a few weeks ago (I pray for all benefactors of Bethany), which is in my bedroom. Most all furniture and electrical items have been given to Bethany, along with some fittings. I have bought little really in comparison. This morning, the electrician called to install an aerial wall socket for the TV paid for by my government My Aged Care Package 4 (more about that at a later time).  He was a lovely man and because of the statues and images around Bethany, he recognized that I was Catholic.  He introduced the subject of religion, but not in a confrontational manner rather in the sense that he (Anglican) and I (Catholic) were equals agreeing on Christian principles.  It was only a short conversation but it was wonderful for me to speak with someone on religious type matters in such an agreeable manner.  He was a lovely man to boot.

Thank you, Lord - heaps! 

Incidentally again, in my early years in government housing, when I first shifted into same and in an extremely poor area of most all social problems I expect, it was Anglicare and also The Salvation Army that really bent over backwards far beyond duty to help me get established.  They helped me far more than I had requested.  If Faith is witnessed to by action, they were certainly outstanding witnesses.  When I first shifted in after homelessness, all I had was an old wringer washing machine, old fridge, a bed and a wardrobe.  There were no floor coverings, rather bare untreated floorboards.  No blinds or curtains.  What happened to all my furniture and electrical goods etc.  I did have pre homelessness and had to go into storage? That's another story  

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It is a real mystery to me that Phatmass tolerates me and only once I can think of in all these years I have been on the carpet.  Here it is 138 pages (mostly my own posts) and I am still on the road, wherever the road is heading.  I tried to start a blog but just could not figure it all out - a real computer dummy. I figure that might be ok at my 75 years of age early next year in 2021.   So this thread just got longer and longer!  I have been a member now since 2008 some 12 odd years now.  It was here on Phatmass that I first made public my private vows.  It was fellow Pham members who were supportive as I journeyed towards my Home Mass and renewal of life vows.   I was a lurker at first and when a thread got going challenging there was any such thing as private vows to the evangelical counsels in The Church.  I joined and jumped into the thread..........with a big HANG ON A MINUTE YOU LOT! (paraphrasing).

I am not in any social media at all, other than for a short while Facebook.  I made a thorough mess of it not really understanding the software on the site and other things I wish I could forget including that last horrific bipolar intervention while posting there.  I had the devil of a time to find out how to cancel my membership altogether.

I was for a few years on CAF, but got banned for life - but then a couple of years later joined again ok.  I am still there on and off - but now it is closing down completely.  Phatmass is my only place on the net now, which is quite honestly often burdened with too long posts.  Too much detail too I suspect.  Threads off topic and hijacked.  But here I still am and I am very grateful for it @dUSt and your Mediators of Meh associates - and that doesn't even stick in my throat.  In fact, I think it is a real testament to you all and to members too  Phatmass is my web home and a resource - often my example to look up to and setter of bars.  The nun who taught me said "Never be afraid to imitate good example".......sometimes I can sometimes not.

 

Thanks heaps, guys!     

Deo Gratius and Laudate Dominum 

(A very good friend of mine before even bipolar hit and over a coffee when our kids were at school, said to me "Barb, I can understand you and what you mean, but no one else ever will".   We were both 'on fire for The Church' members, with our husbands, of Christian Life Movement back then.)  It was out of her library that I borrowed the Complete Works of St Teresa of Avila and St John of The Cross and could not understand what on earth they were on about.  I even wondered if they were at some point later heretics or something.  It was really only after bipolar had hit, that I began to grasp St Therese and her Little Way.  In her autobiography, she says "which was not the Prayer of Quiet".  I then recalled something about the "Prayer of Quiet" or similar in those complete works I had read and eventually, eventually, began to grasp something anyway of our great mystic saints and also Doctors of The Church, which includes St Therese of Lisieux, and certainly more about what they had to state about the spiritual way - far moreso than any kind of the unusual and rare mystical type phenomena.

St Teresa of Avila does state that the unusual phenomena is not at all intrinsic to mysticism, rather that they are biproducts of mysticism and not to be trusted either, not without confirmation by an SD anyway.  St Therese certainly only had one instance of rare or unusual when the statue of Our Lady smiled at her. . . and nothing more.

Bipolar has not been completely negative in my experience, not completely.)

Quite a long journey here - up hill and down dale, round a bend or two or more, white a few falls and struggling up again. Another thing the Dominican nun who taught me said was "It is not the fall nor it's seriousness, it is how long it takes one to pick oneself up, confession if necessary, and then just walk on as if nothing at all had happened".   

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Edit: "white a few falls and struggling up again"  should read: "quite a few falls and struggling up again.

I will be forever grateful to those nuns who taught me all along the way of Primary School and then College.  And in especial way for Sr Mary Benignus in College, now long deceased.  There was a nun who went far above - far above - any call of duty.  The same for a few priests (not many) along the way and one Archbishop......actually two now.

Edited December 15, 2020 by BarbaraTherese

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Edit: "white a few falls and struggling up again"  should read: "quite a few falls and struggling up again.

I will be forever grateful to those nuns who taught me all along the way of Primary School and then College.  And in especial way for Sr Mary Benignus in College, now long deceased.  There was a nun who went far above - far above - any call of duty.  The same for a few priests (not many) along the way and one Archbishop......actually two now.

(Sr M. Benignus was a Dominican nun not so much a religious sister, I think; perhaps a contemplative religious sister.  She was wise and very holy......but oh my, oh so very strict. I knew no fellow student who did not fear her tongue lashings to some degree)

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Rather obvious that I have no understanding at all of softwear  

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                                             "God leads every soul by a separate path."

                                                                                                   St John of the Cross

 

                        

 

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I picked up the following excellent article on Praying the Rosary during Mass over on CAF (User JimG).  That CA thread is now closed:

https://www.traditioninaction.org/religious/d030_Rosary.htm

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Excerpt only: "The Mass-time Rosary is a devotion that assists the supplicant in raising his spirit to God. As a practice it provides a legitimate spiritual means for those who are so inclined to say it. Pius XII endorsed the Rosary as an appropriate means of assisting at Mass and Leo XIII also did so by allowing it to be said during Mass and by granting indulgences to do the same during the month of October.

Progressivist hierarchy and clergy today despise anything that detracts from their ideal of “active participation,” yet, despite their hatred, the practice of praying the Rosary during Mass is a firmly established tradition that has the approval of past Popes and the Sacred Congregation of Rites.

To unite oneself with the Mass by praying the Rosary and meditating on its mysteries thus continues to stand as a legitimate, praiseworthy and respectable custom of the Holy Catholic Church. Let those who so wish, honor Our Lady and Our Lord in this way.

 

                           

3 hours ago, BarbaraTherese said:

           

 

 

Sound theology!

Edited December 20, 2020 by BarbaraTherese

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Bob Dylan Lyrics - "TRYING TO GET TO HEAVEN"  (track from album "Time Out Of Mind") HERE:

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When you think that you've lost everything
You find out you can always lose a little more
I'm just going down the road feeling bad
Trying to get to Heaven before they close the door

I'm going down the river
They tell me everything is gonna be all right
But I don't know what all right even means

 

 

Just another trying day on the road! 

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Is there any such thing as coincidence? (Catholic Answers Q&A) https://www.catholic.com/qa/a-coincidence-isnt-one-for-god

 

         

 

 

  

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                                 SOLEMNITY

             Mary Mother of God: 1st January 2021

History of New Year's Day https://www.officeholidays.com/holidays/vatican-city/international-new-years-day

New Year's Day was originally observed on March 15th in the old Roman Calendar. When January and February were added during one of the many attempts to clean up the calendar, they were actually added to the end of the year.

The start of the year was fixed at January 1st in 153 BCE, by two Roman consuls. The month was named Janus after the name of the Roman god of doors and gates. Janus had two faces, one facing forward and one looking back, a fitting name for the month at the start of the year.

During the Middle Ages, a number of different Christian feast dates were used to mark the New Year, though calendars often continued to display the months in columns running from January to December in the Roman fashion.

For some parts of Europe, New Year's Day was determined by Easter, which meant a different New Year’s Day date every year.

It wasn't until 1582 when the Roman Catholic Church officially adopted January 1st as the New Year.

Most countries in Western Europe had officially adopted January 1st as New Year's Day even before they adopted the Gregorian calendar.

New Year's Resolutions

Many people take the opportunity of the new year to make resolutions. According to a survey by ComRes, the most common New Year's resolutions included exercise more (38%), lose weight (33%) and eat more healthily (32%).

The tradition of setting New Year's resolutions began some 4,000 years ago with the ancient Babylonians, although for them the year began not in January but in mid-March on the first moon after the spring equinox. According to historians, returning that rusty rake you'd borrowed from your neighbour was top of the Babylonian resolution list, along with the timeless promise to pay off debts.

 

  

             

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Proverbs 20:19 ESV 

Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.

 

 

        

 

 

                                                                                         

 

Second Reading- Office of Readings - 31st Dec. 2020

                                 From a sermon of

                          Saint Leo the Great, pope

         

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The birthday of the Lord is the birthday of peace

God’s Son did not disdain to become a baby. Although with the passing of the years he moved from infancy to maturity, and although with the triumph of his passion and resurrection all the actions of humility which he undertook for us were finished, still today’s festival renews for us the holy childhood of Jesus born of the Virgin Mary. In adoring the birth of our Saviour, we find we are celebrating the commencement of our own life, for the birth of Christ is the source of life for Christian folk, and the birthday of the Head is the birthday of the body.

  Every individual that is called has his own place, and all the sons of the Church are separated from one another by intervals of time. Nevertheless, just as the entire body of the faithful is born in the font of baptism, crucified with Christ in his passion, raised again in his resurrection, and placed at the Father’s right hand in his ascension, so with Him are they born in this nativity.

  For this is true of any believer in whatever part of the world, that once he is reborn in Christ he abandons the old paths of his original nature and passes into a new man by being reborn. He is no longer counted as part of his earthly father’s stock but among the seed of the Saviour, who became the Son of man in order that we might have the power to be the sons of God.

  For unless He came down to us in this humiliation, no one could reach his presence by any merits of his own.

  The very greatness of the gift conferred demands of us reverence worthy of its splendour. For, as the blessed Apostle teaches, We have received not the spirit of this world but the Spirit which is of God, that we may know the things which are given us by God. That Spirit can in no other way be rightly worshipped, except by offering him that which we received from him.

  But in the treasures of the Lord’s bounty what can we find so suitable to the honour of the present feast as the peace which at the Lord’s nativity was first proclaimed by the angel-choir?

  For it is that peace which brings forth the sons of God. That peace is the nurse of love and the mother of unity, the rest of the blessed and our eternal home. That peace has the special task of joining to God those whom it removes from the world.

  So those who are born not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man but of God must offer to the Father the unanimity of peace-loving sons, and all of them, adopted parts of the mystical Body of Christ, must meet in the First-Begotten of the new creation. He came to do not his own will but the will of the one who sent him; and so too the Father in his gracious favour has adopted as his heirs not those that are discordant nor those that are unlike him, but those that are one with him in feeling and in affection. Those who are re-modelled after one pattern must have a spirit like the model.

  The birthday of the Lord is the birthday of peace: for thus says the Apostle, He is our peace, who made both one; because whether we are Jew or Gentile, through Him we have access in one Spirit to the Father.