Private Vows in The Laity/Spirituality

[BarbTherese]

Some time back there was quite some discussion on why VS was not open to all vocations - you probably missed it.  In the end dUSt was quite adamant that VS was for vocations to religious life and the priesthood only and where religious life is concerned only for approved forms of religious life.  I try to respect his decision - don't always succeed however :blush:

 

Actually I just had a look at what dUSt pinned in VS :

 

http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/136246-introduction-to-vocation-station/

Phatmass shall only be used to promote vocations that have official diocesan
approval. Any post that links to a website, community, or vocation that is not
recognized by the Church shall result in a warning. Multiple warning shall
result in a ban from Phatmass.

 

 

From the wording above which I have not looked at in quite some time, it seems to me that marriage and the lay celibate state could be included in VS as well, since they are vocations recognised by The Church - contrary to what was stated previously.  CV's and secular institutes, even Third Orders etc. could be included it seems to me going by the above.  It's all a bit confusing since under the VS title it states "for priest and nuns wannabees":

 

Vocation Station  
Contemplating religious life? It's a party for all you priest and nun wannabes!

 

 

I have no idea whatsoever now, going by all the above, what can or can not be discussed freely in Vocation Station.

[BarbTherese]

As I consider things, when one truly Loves God, it is really God's Love alive in the person - and it naturally flows out to all.  It is the nature of The Love of God.

1 John 4:20
If any man say, I love God, and hateth his brother; he is a liar. For he that loveth not his brother, whom he seeth, how can he love God, whom he seeth not?

 

 

[MarysLittleFlower]

It seems to me that consecrated/dedicated single life is approved by the Church... Maybe the rules mean something else, and are also against advertising orders not in union with the Church :) it also seemed to me that consecrated single life fell under the heading of religious life in the forum though they are different. I hope I'm right on that.. Since I post on various topics on VS I might ask about that :)

[BarbTherese]

It seems to me that consecrated/dedicated single life is approved by the Church... Maybe the rules mean something else, and are also against advertising orders not in union with the Church :) it also seemed to me that consecrated single life fell under the heading of religious life in the forum though they are different. I hope I'm right on that.. Since I post on various topics on VS I might ask about that :)

 

Thank you MLF and I agree with you, although I don't understand what dUSt has in mind now -  what he has posted related to VS seems to me to be ambiguous.

 

A good question to ask!

[BarbTherese]

I have been watching the number of people reading this thread over the last few days.  It seems to be a decent sort of number going from 6195 to 6276 over the last three days.  I have over the last couple of weeks looked into perhaps starting a blog, but it seems to me anyway to be a lot of work initially anyway and also asks more familiarity than I have with blogs and the internet - over time I have become comfortable posting into Phatmass and reluctant to move out of my comfort zone.

 

I think as long as moderators are content to let this thread remain, I wont be starting a blog.

 

If you have any questions or would like to post something into this thread please feel quite free to do so.

[BarbTherese]

Had a fascinating session with my SD yesterday.  I spoke about my experiences while very ill with Bipolar and he spoke about demonic oppression without any invitation from me.  I'm not going to say very much at all at this point, as I am not sure at all that I want to speak about either at all.  I do have lots of thoughts, however.

 

 I don't think that there is any way of knowing whether one's psychotic experiences are coming from the self and illness or from some demonic outside source by way of oppression - or a mixture of both.  This much I was very confident about at the time - and that is that by obeying my doctor as the valid authority over me during those years, and to be obedient as if instructed to do so by The Lord (which we are as an ideal), I could only gain on all necessary levels: spiritually, mentally and emotionally.  Nothing is ever lost by obedience.  Absolutely nothing! 

Does one need to use discretion as to whom one obeys? This goes without saying and is plain common sense.  At times I had been in the public system (I am now private) under some weird psychiatrists but I still chose to be obedient, since in the public system one really has no other option, no choice. In the public system in Australia, one cannot choose one's psychiatrist. Disobeying one's public psychiatrist can have very negative consequences and one is branded as being unco-operative and with an irresponsible attitude to one's illness - and so noted in one's medical file as it is in mine for those times that I did choose to disobey for what to me were good reasons.  My now private psychiatrist knows I do listen to her and take up her advice.  I have been able to choose my own private psychiatrist.

 

I felt back then, that if I raised the subject with a priest I could only be dismissed and referred back to my psychiatrist since I was suffering a serious mental illness.  I also felt that I would be putting Father in a very difficult position as I was indeed a very ill person.  Undoubtedly I do suffer Bipolar Disorder and undoubtedly I was having psychotic experiences, at times, arising from that serious mental illness.  Were my psychotic experiences always mental illness - absolutely no way of knowing I don't think.  Actually, mental illness can be a great "cover' for Satan.

At least I have raised what is to me a sensitive subject in a post into this thread.  And as I was writing I could feel anxiety starting to click in to place and this has come about by refusing to refuse the subject altogether.

Edited January 29, 2015 by BarbaraTherese

[MarysLittleFlower]

I tend to think that whatever it is, God allows everything in His permissive Will for a purpose and His purpose is always good :) something can be bad in itself but God can use the patience, etc we show in the trial to help us and other souls. The suffering of it can also be united to the Cross and so bring others to God.

Edited January 30, 2015 by MarysLittleFlower

[BarbTherese]

I tend to think that whatever it is, God allows everything in His permissive Will for a purpose and His purpose is always good :) something can be bad in itself but God can use the patience, etc we show in the trial to help us and other souls. The suffering of it can also be united to the Cross and so bring others to God.

 

Spot on!

[BarbTherese]

I now have certificates for renewal of vows at Home Mass with blessing of my ring and cross ( signed by two witnesses besides Father and I) - separate certificate for blessing of Bethany signed by Father.

 

Father dropped in for coffee this week and commented on the homey, welcoming and peaceful atmosphere in Bethany.  It is all a matter of perspective and quite personal likes and dislikes - which do vary and Deo Gratius! What a bore life really would be if we were all precisely the same.  Viva la difference!  In my previous suburb some commented that Bethany was like a morgue and I needed some music or the TV on.  Not my style!

 

On 10th. February I am returning to voluntary work (two days weekly) and tonight is our first parish SVP Meeting after our break over Christmas and New Year.  Ironing commenced this week.  All is back on track with normal routine for 2015.  My ankle is still a bit weak and the big test will be when I go back to voluntary work with getting on and off buses but I think I will be fine if I am careful.  I usually take my trolley to work so I can shop for groceries on the way home.  For a few weeks yet, my trolley will be staying at home.

[BarbTherese]

Had a fascinating session with my SD yesterday.  I spoke about my experiences while very ill with Bipolar and he spoke about demonic oppression without any invitation from me.  I'm not going to say very much at all at this point, as I am not sure at all that I want to speak about either at all.  I do have lots of thoughts, however.

 

 I don't think that there is any way of knowing whether one's psychotic experiences are coming from the self and illness or from some demonic outside source by way of oppression - or a mixture of both.  This much I was very confident about at the time - and that is that by obeying my doctor as the valid authority over me during those years, and to be obedient as if instructed to do so by The Lord (which we are as an ideal), I could only gain on all necessary levels: spiritually, mentally and emotionally.  Nothing is ever lost by obedience.  Absolutely nothing! 

Does one need to use discretion as to whom one obeys? This goes without saying and is plain common sense.  At times I had been in the public system (I am now private) under some weird psychiatrists but I still chose to be obedient, since in the public system one really has no other option, no choice. In the public system in Australia, one cannot choose one's psychiatrist. Disobeying one's public psychiatrist can have very negative consequences and one is branded as being unco-operative and with an irresponsible attitude to one's illness - and so noted in one's medical file as it is in mine for those times that I did choose to disobey for what to me were good reasons.  My now private psychiatrist knows I do listen to her and take up her advice.  I have been able to choose my own private psychiatrist.

 

I felt back then, that if I raised the subject with a priest I could only be dismissed and referred back to my psychiatrist since I was suffering a serious mental illness.  I also felt that I would be putting Father in a very difficult position as I was indeed a very ill person.  Undoubtedly I do suffer Bipolar Disorder and undoubtedly I was having psychotic experiences, at times, arising from that serious mental illness.  Were my psychotic experiences always mental illness - absolutely no way of knowing I don't think.  Actually, mental illness can be a great "cover' for Satan.

At least I have raised what is to me a sensitive subject in a post into this thread.  And as I was writing I could feel anxiety starting to click in to place and this has come about by refusing to refuse the subject altogether.

 

I must add to the above that though no one was willing to direct me during my very ill years, I did know as close friends priests and religious (nuns) who knew me exceptionally well and gave me every support and encouragement............over and beyond the call of any duty.

 

I was often very confused, often psychotic and disconnected from reality and hence seriously mentally ill - as well as being under private vows.  I could not blame anyone for not wanting to direct me spiritually and although at times a tad angry and resentful, I knew that The Lord was always with me in fair and the most foul of weathers and even when I failed and fell in my estimation - and even when my anger and resentment was no 'tad' but an angry fire of resentment and at times directed at The Lord Himself.  I used to say "I really hope you have big shoulders............because here I come again".  Much later I came to reason that it was no big deal to be angry with The Lord because of His Unfailing Loving Understanding Mercy for His most weak of all.  He is my friend and I had been very angry with the way He was working things.  I was very ill not knowing often what was real and what was not, impoverished and homeless for 6 years, divorced by my husband and my children taken from me. At times, I did not understand who I was, my identity seemingly lost (tho not adopting any other identity other than the lack of one)..................and I was absolutely no Job at all and at pains to prove it outstandingly rather often at times.

 

But there were nuns and priests who stuck beside me through the thick of it all even when it all got much thicker and quite socially distasteful and unacceptable...........except to them.

[BarbTherese]

My reading matter for this Lent is:

"7 Secrets of Confession" (Vinny Flynn)

"40 Days with St Paul" (Henry Wansbrough)

 

Confession for me remains the difficult Sacrament - and 40 Days with St Paul comes highly recommended as reading material for Lent..........or any other time.  The books arrived today.

 

I had a dreadful and then Joyous experience today.  Went to see my doctor for a medical clearance to do voluntary work, requested by Anglicare.  My doctor felt he could not give me a clearance not due to my fall and ankle problem (healing well), but because I have a long standing back and hip problem.  Despite these two problems, I can travel everywhere by bus and do my grocery shop most often with my trolley and walking.  Some pain, but nothing unendurable.  Hence I had never given consideration that I might be medically considered unfit to do voluntary work.

 

Somehow, I don't understand how and will be asking about it on Thursday, the second 'Anglicare' charity is not connected to Anglicare, rather to the Anglican parish in which it is situated.  Hence I rang the first charity to explain I would not be able to return to voluntary work with them - and I thought I would not be able to do voluntary work again.  I was devastated, but trying to keep my Faith and confident trust in The Lord that there were good reasons why and perhaps it might ask a change of direction.  When I rang my boss at the second 'Anglicare' charity to tell him I would have to leave, I was astounded and overjoyed to hear that my so called 'unfitness' for work was not a problem to them and that they were not actually 'Anglicare' but the Anglicare parish.  I don't understand this since with Catholicism, parishes and the diocese are closely related and very often the diocese can dictate what happens in parishes. I have also been offered another day a week with the second charity to replace the first.

 

I was really devastated to hear I would need to leave voluntary work two days weekly as it had become intrinsic to my way of life since I shifted into this suburb.......that was on the feeling level.  On the Faith level, I was striving to keep my confident trust in The Lord and that very good reasons were afoot and possibly even a change of direction.  The Rule of Life for Bethany makes allowances for necessary changes in direction through the emphasis and reliance on Divine Providence in all things.

 

I am so overjoyed and thankful that tonight I am going to do something I very rarely do, if ever.  I am going to order in Chinese for dinner to celebrate on a human level, He who became human for our sake.............while I am continually giving thanks to The Lord in prayer on a more spiritual level for personal blessings always serves to remind me again of those who, as I give thanks with Joy, are suffering in our world for any reason whatsoever be that minor or major.

Edited February 9, 2015 by BarbaraTherese

[BarbTherese]

Coming home from voluntary work yesterday afternoon on the bus, there was a male two seats forward from me talking loudly to himself lost in his own world.  I began praying for him and for those who suffer mental illness, when a thought struck me.  The man ahead of me simply lived in a different reality and was not a person to feel sorry for, rather to appreciate. All my 'feeling sorry and pity' fell away and I became conscious of the man and with appreciation as absolutely unique and simply living in a totally different reality to mine.

          I began to reflect and it occurred to me further that we all live in different realities.  We are all coming from a somewhere :- past experiences totally different of both nature and nurture.  We all have different hopes and dreams both in the short term for today and in the long term......we all have our problems in this today be they major or minor problems...hopefully we all have our Joys in this today and in the longer term - but not all do...........in short, it struck me just how totally unique every person is and why - and just how fascinating we all should be ideally to each other and how I really should be listening to and full appreciating every person's uniqueness and differences. 

 

I think probably deep down I had always realised the above, but it all came forward into consciousness on a newer level.

 

Too often, I might strive to fashion others in my own image and likeness..........and that really hit home too!   Sometimes institutions too can desire and strive to fashion others in their own image and likeness. The lyrics of Bob Dylan came into consciousness again "I just try to be myself but others want me to be just like them".     I really need God's Grace and Mercy to stop being judgemental about others on a quite covert and very subtle level of consciousness and where it does more harm than when fully in consciousness.  To be more fully appreciative of others' own unique identity and how it came to be - to be really interested and welcoming of their story, if shared, without judgement.  And should I not know their story, to be fully appreciative of the fact that we all do have a stories which does fashion us into indeed very complex beings.

 

As I reflect at this moment, to me judgement and assessment are two entirely different matters.  Judgement is to assess and pronounce a sentence.  Assessment is simply to assess where a person may fit into my own world (my own reality) either as one I can joyfully embrace fully, or as one for whatever reason I need leave out from my world other than in prayer........for both of us.  There is always ample room, more than ample rather endless room, for me to grow in Charity. 

If a person for some reason cannot be embraced into my own reality other than in prayer - this might be a problem of the other, of my own or of both of us.  Most often it seems to me in my own case it is a problem of both of us or far more often of mine only.

 

All these thoughts have been triggered from that man sitting up from me on the bus.  We can never know perhaps often how often we are channels of Grace to each other as that man probably will never know this side of Heaven how I have been blest through him.

[BarbTherese]

Lent!

This year, Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays will be days of abstinence.  I have a decidedly sweet tooth and so my toaster and jam will be out the door with my toaster being given to a charity.  All other sweet items (lollies, icecream, biscuits, cake etc) have long been banned totally with my toaster, butter and jam my only too often indulged in sweet food.  I am looking at the lack of toaster and jam as being permanent even after Lent...........in hope!

 The charity I have in mind fully tests electrical items before putting them in their op shop for sale.  I will be donating extra $10 to the missions each week and of course, here in Australia, we have Caritas and the little cardboard donation boxes we are given each Lent for possibly mainly small change, which comes about often as our denials through Lent lead to a reduced financial outlay - often for food and the grocery budget.

My SD and confessor is recovering from surgery for a while and once he is fully back on his feet, I will be going to Confession.

 

A very happy and productive Lent to all with many blessings.  Tuesday 17.2.15 7.50am here just now.

 

[BarbTherese]

'All these thoughts have been triggered from that man sitting up from me on the bus.  We can never know perhaps often how often we are channels of Grace to each other as that man probably will never know this side of Heaven how I have been blest through him.'

 

In reference to the above from my previous post.  It has long struck me that those who suffer mental illness are most often viewed in Christianity only as objects for charitable actions.  Much too often those who suffer mental illness are not viewed as blessings in their own right.  If nothing else (and there is MUCH else) they are a challenge to all to reflect that in God's Divine Providence and His Permissive Will sufferers of mental illness have been placed in our midst as blessings.   A statement like that can be a stumbling block to others just as St Paul tells us that The Cross is a stumbling block  :

 

1 Corinthians Chapter 1 : [21] For seeing that in the wisdom of God the world, by wisdom, knew not God, it pleased God, by the foolishness of our preaching, to save them that believe. [22] For both the Jews require signs, and the Greeks seek after wisdom: [23] But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews indeed a stumbling block, and unto the Gentiles foolishness: [24] But unto them that are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God. [25] For the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

 

 

stumbling block - a circumstance that causes difficulty or hesitation.

[BarbTherese]

Linking to a post which I feel I'd like to include in this thread as it is reflective of one rule/guideline of living for Bethany:

 http://www.phatmass.com/phorum/topic/136726-shake-the-dust-off-and-move-on/?p=2716596