How Does This Work?

[YHZRosko]

This is my first post at Phatmass and it's a wordy one! Sorry!

Anyway, I've been away from the Church for a long time, and it's been eating at me for too long. The past few months (years?) have been a gradual reawakening for me, I suppose. The realisation that I need to get back to the Church didn't come in a great cathartic moment or anything, but I've gradually begun to notice the huge empty space in my life.

Growing up, I was an actively practising Catholic. I was baptised and confirmed in the Church. My issues arose after my dad died in 2000. It had a huge impact on my life, causing a pretty serious bout of depression as well as a profound anger towards God. I stopped attending Mass and ended up living a really secular life. I ended up doing things that I'm not at all proud of now (nothing criminal!), and even then made me uncomfortable. I regret that period of my life, and I really want to put that part of my past behind me.

That's the hardest part, though. I know what needs to be done on the basic level. I need to get to confession and start attending Mass every week, at a minimum. The thing is, I don't just want to do the minimum. I want to have an actively Catholic life again. I miss that. My life has changed so much since I last attended Mass regularly, and I really need help getting back into being the best Catholic I can.

For example, I work full time shift work now. It can happen that I'm scheduled to work both weekend days, and that the shifts would overlap with all possible Mass times in my area. There's a certain degree of flexibility, for example I can try to trade shifts or give the shift away to someone else, but that's not guaranteed. Bills still need to be paid. If I do everything I can to organise my work schedule to avoid missing Mass, but it still happens, what can I do? I don't want to be dishonest and call in sick when I'm not.

Also, I know that my faith will cost me friendships. Some of the people in my life are pretty much liberal atheists, and have a completely opposite view on social issues than the Church teaches. Social issues were my own biggest stumbling block when I started to find my faith again. I've become much more comfortable with what the Church teaches over time, but I know my friends very likely won't. I also know that there will be new friends as a result of becoming more actively Catholic, but it's tough to lose people we care about.

Anyway, I'm just looking for some advice, I guess. For those of you who converted or came back after a long period of time away, how did you reconcile your previous, secular life with your Catholic life? I'm really struggling with that aspect of things!

Thanks for reading my long, rambling first post here :)

Rosko

[CatherineM]

First off, welcome home.

Next, it takes 6 weeks to 6 months to take on a new habit. Take baby steps. Fire is good, but you don't want to burn out. There's a reason we do rcia over a year instead of tent revivals. Don't assume your understanding of the faith is full. Some of us didn't get properly catechized the first time. There's nothing wrong with taking RCIA as someone already baptized. It's a common recommendation for those who have been away for awhile.

As to your friends, you will lose some. Converts sometimes lose family members. I have friends that I disagree with. Take it a step at a time. Apologetics can really help if you find yourself having to defend yourself.

[arfink]

I second that CatherineM says. I also will say this about mass: if you've asked to get time off to go to mass, and your employer will not allow you to have time off, that's not your fault. They're coercing you, so you're not culpable.

[PadrePioOfPietrelcino]

Welcome back home!

 

I think you have already identified the key points for yourself. Step 1 is a good confession, spend some time in prayer preparing. I know a couple people who came back after a long time scheduled a time with Father to meet in his office and do a good confession that took some time, most priest I know are happy to do this when there is a need (if you do need that). Talk with Father about your work situation, he may be able to help you find a solution you don't know about, another Parish with another Mass time, a college that may be close and have a really late Mass ect.

 

I find I like reading the US Catholic Catechism for Adults more and more. It is a regional Catechism so it is written in a language that most lay American Catholics can understand and in my humble opinion is more approachable than the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

 

Of course the above comments are good too :)

[Slappo]

I second that CatherineM says. I also will say this about mass: if you've asked to get time off to go to mass, and your employer will not allow you to have time off, that's not your fault. They're coercing you, so you're not culpable.

They are also quite possibly breaking the law

[arfink]

They are also quite possibly breaking the law

 

That is also true. Unfortunately, there usually isn't a whole lot you can do about it. I was in a union shop for a while, and even in that place what they'd do is if you wanted time off for mass they'd just refuse or cut your hours.

[Golden Years]

It isn't easy but you will find it's worth all the effort and God will help you.  Maybe ask the Lord to help you find another job that guarantees Sundays off.  Also don't feel that you have to tell your current friends everything going on in your faith life until you feel comfortable sharing with them.  I also strongly recommend wearing a Miraculous Medal and/or Brown Scapular to enjoy Our Lady's special help and protection. Welcome home Rosko!  :like3:

[YHZRosko]

Thanks for the welcome and very helpful responses!

I hadn't really considered RCIA, but that's actually something I think I should look into. I could certainly use a refresher. I went through my 'religious ed' years in the mid to late 80s, so I'm not sure how much I was actually taught, much less remember.

I've bookmarked the U.S. Catholic Chatechism For Adults and will start reading. I've been thinking a lot about confession lately, and I've been praying a lot. I'll be investigating confession. I think going the appointment with a priest route is probably best. It's been a long time, so it will probably take time just because I haven't confessed in many years.

As for the work situation, I'll be bidding for a schedule that allows me time to attend at least one Mass. I'm in Canada, so I'm not exactly sure what our labour regulations are for religious observance, but now that you mention it, I'd be somewhat surprised if they didn't have to provide some sort of accommodation, though the point about cutting hours could happen. It would make things pretty tough if they just give my shift away and I'm short a day's work. I'll have to have a chat with them at work just to see what the options/rules are.

[YHZRosko]

So I bookmarked the page to buy the U.S. Catholic Catechism for Adults, not the Catechism itself. Does anyone know if it's available online? I don't mind buying if necessary but if it's out there for free (legally!) somewhere, I'd love to know! :)

[PadrePioOfPietrelcino]

So I bookmarked the page to buy the U.S. Catholic Catechism for Adults, not the Catechism itself. Does anyone know if it's available online? I don't mind buying if necessary but if it's out there for free (legally!) somewhere, I'd love to know! :)

 

Ditto for an online source. I've never found one and ended up buying mine at the catholic bookstore about $24 I think.
 

[PhuturePriest]

If you want the Catechism, the Youcat is actually really great. It's written in a language that's easier to understand, and it's written in a Q and A format.

[YHZRosko]

Awesome! Looks like I'll be taking a trip to the Catholic bookstore in the next few days.

[Slappo]

That is also true. Unfortunately, there usually isn't a whole lot you can do about it. I was in a union shop for a while, and even in that place what they'd do is if you wanted time off for mass they'd just refuse or cut your hours.

Which would be retaliation which you could sue them for.

[arfink]

Which would be retaliation which you could sue them for.

 

Well, they were very sneaky about it, saying things like "Well, we won't dock you attendance points, but you won't get the hours back."

[YHZRosko]

Well, they were very sneaky about it, saying things like "Well, we won't dock you attendance points, but you won't get the hours back."

 

That's not cool! In the past I know my employer's reaction to special requests for necessary time off (not related to anything religious) has been along the lines of "you know we're a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week operation, we'll do what we can, but no guarantees". I do wonder about their obligations when it comes to religious observance, though.