Stuff Monsters -- How Does A Soul Escape Alive?

[SilentJoy]

I'm not one of those people that end up on Reality shows because they can't walk through their stuff-filled houses, but it feels like that sometimes. I like to shop at Thrift stores but a lot of that is just me trying to find out what I am; perhaps I'll bring home JUST the right shape, texture or color and it will cause something to 'click' deep within my psyche, and I'll suddenly remember my identity. But instead the Stuff just makes me more lost; it is like a noise that never stops until I go insane. I send it away but it just comes back in a different shape. I need a sea-change in my soul, not just some boxes labeled 'give away' and 'throw away.' I guess I could find clever-er storage compartments, but I don't think that's the answer.

 

It would be a great relief to have only what I needed, but there is so much STUFF that I end up starving, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, because I can't find what I actually need, or I'm too distracted to look. I have so many really good books that I end up not reading the two or three books that might be most necessary (actually, I end up not reading much at all, because it's too hard to choose sometimes; I start one and never finish because I've started 4 more in the meantime). I don't want to be a Minimalist, I just want some peace and quiet around here.

 

What do you find is a good source for slaying the Stuff Monster? :sos:

[PhuturePriest]

I'm not one of those people that end up on Reality shows because they can't walk through their stuff-filled houses, but it feels like that sometimes. I like to shop at Thrift stores but a lot of that is just me trying to find out what I am; perhaps I'll bring home JUST the right shape, texture or color and it will cause something to 'click' deep within my psyche, and I'll suddenly remember my identity. But instead the Stuff just makes me more lost; it is like a noise that never stops until I go insane. I send it away but it just comes back in a different shape. I need a sea-change in my soul, not just some boxes labeled 'give away' and 'throw away.' I guess I could find clever-er storage compartments, but I don't think that's the answer.

 

It would be a great relief to have only what I needed, but there is so much STUFF that I end up starving, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, because I can't find what I actually need, or I'm too distracted to look. I have so many really good books that I end up not reading the two or three books that might be most necessary (actually, I end up not reading much at all, because it's too hard to choose sometimes; I start one and never finish because I've started 4 more in the meantime). I don't want to be a Minimalist, I just want some peace and quiet around here.

 

What do you find is a good source for slaying the Stuff Monster? :sos:

 

I highlighted the important part of what you said. You are not the sum of your things; your things don't define you, and they cannot tell you who or what you are. Drill this into your brain, and give away everything that's excessive to charity.

[brandelynmarie]

Sometimes one needs help to do this from the outside, whether it's from a professional or a trusted loved one. It's not an easy process, but with alot of patience it can be done...

[SilentJoy]

I highlighted the important part of what you said. You are not the sum of your things; your things don't define you, and they cannot tell you who or what you are. Drill this into your brain, and give away everything that's excessive to charity.

But they are clues. :think: 

 

(I wasn't being completely serious. I start talking too much on the Internet when I get a lot of coffee and not enough sleep.)

 

Edited to add:  The question itself is a serious one, I'm just not being very serious while I'm asking it.

Edited January 23, 2014 by SilentJoy

[SilentJoy]

Sometimes one needs help to do this from the outside, whether it's from a professional or a trusted loved one. It's not an easy process, but with alot of patience it can be done...

Thanks!

 

Its a little awkward to try to describe what the problem is and why. I do need to get rid of some Stuff, but that by itself doesn't seem to be a problem. I need some kind of philosophy for selecting and dealing with the Stuff that goes in (or out). It seems like there's a big difference between just having a clean closet, and having a closet with simplicity, character, order and beauty, that somehow reflects something Higher in a way that cleanliness alone doesn't do.

 

I should probably go to bed. :hehe2:

[Freedom]

It is time to join the Monastery ;)

[God the Father]

You seem insane

 

P.S. I would start by not capitalizing Stuff as if it were God

Edited January 23, 2014 by God the Father

[brandelynmarie]

SJ, another suggestion could be to create shelves or scrap books that show things that appeal to you, narrowing down the items...now granted I really oughta take my own advice :hehe:

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

I'm not one of those people that end up on Reality shows because they can't walk through their stuff-filled houses, but it feels like that sometimes. I like to shop at Thrift stores but a lot of that is just me trying to find out what I am; perhaps I'll bring home JUST the right shape, texture or color and it will cause something to 'click' deep within my psyche, and I'll suddenly remember my identity. But instead the Stuff just makes me more lost; it is like a noise that never stops until I go insane. I send it away but it just comes back in a different shape. I need a sea-change in my soul, not just some boxes labeled 'give away' and 'throw away.' I guess I could find clever-er storage compartments, but I don't think that's the answer.

 

It would be a great relief to have only what I needed, but there is so much STUFF that I end up starving, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, because I can't find what I actually need, or I'm too distracted to look. I have so many really good books that I end up not reading the two or three books that might be most necessary (actually, I end up not reading much at all, because it's too hard to choose sometimes; I start one and never finish because I've started 4 more in the meantime). I don't want to be a Minimalist, I just want some peace and quiet around here.

 

What do you find is a good source for slaying the Stuff Monster? :sos:

 

Trust me, I know about Stuff. (And, I think capitalizing Stuff makes perfect sense. "Stuff" is different from "stuff." Just my opinion.)

 

As far as I know, you are still quite young. (Forgive me if I am wrong.) Often we acquire things as time goes by and don't even realize it. I need to move this year to a smaller place, and I've lived in my house for 18 years. I have STUFF!! Also, I am disabled, and have not been able to clean things out as I go along. I now have hired two women who are helping me throw things away, because I physically can't. Trust me, you do not want to need to do this. The women are wonderful--I love them. And, it's a good thing I love them because the process is emotionally difficult and it's EXPENSIVE!

 

The first step for me was to try my best not to acquire anything new unless it was something I absolutely needed. This also saves money.

 

Perhaps you could try staying away from Thrift stores unless there is something you absolutely need--or at least go less often. Thrift stores can be wonderful. Things are so cheap that you feel like you are saving money by buying them. Or maybe if you see something you love, try putting off buying it for a month. Since it is a Thrift store, the chances are good that it won't be there in a month or you may have changed your mind and realized you don't absolutely need it.

 

There are certain times in our lives when we HAVE to acquire things. For example, when we move into your first apartment, we need a bed, etc etc. But, most of the time, there are far fewer things that we absolutely need.

 

My weakness is bed linens. I love having pretty new sheets. They make me happy. But, now I have far too many sheets and they take up a LOT of room.

 

Another possibility is one I learned when I worked as a librarian. Libraries have a finite amount of space. As a librarian, I HAD to buy new books for the library. That was my favorite part of the job--buying books with someone else's money! LOL

 

However, since the library's shelf space was limited, for every new book I bought for the library, I had to get rid of a book. (Librarians call this "weeding.") If I had carried what I learned on the job into my personal life, I would be happier today. That is, if I had to do it over again, every time I bought something new that wasn't necessary or that wouldn't be used up, I would get rid of something else. My sister has done this all her adult life--she has all the domestic skills I lack. (However, I am much nicer. :hehe: )

 

Good luck with Stuff! It can be conquered, despite the pain! My house is a living testament to that!

[Golden Years]

My two cents.  One, if you've never had to help someone clear out a lifetime's accumulation of Stuff, trust me, it's an eye-opening, back-breaking experience.  I've done it with my parents and I vowed then and there never to put someone else through that.  And my parents weren't particularly hoarders or anything.  Two, move across the country.  Several times.  It will force you to pick and choose the Stuff that really matters.  Like, my son's size 4 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle underwear, circa 1990.

 

But if you can do neither of those, perhaps go to a hotel and spend the night.  Do not bring any of your Stuff.  Look around the room empty of Stuff.  Ask yourself what Stuff you wish you had with you in the hotel room.  If the answer is none of it, go home and throw it all out, or give it away, or sell it, or whatever you have to do in order to get rid of it.  Then when you feel like acquiring more Stuff, ask yourself why.  If the answer is that you feel empty without it, ask the Lord to fill that empty place inside of you with His all-powerful Love. 

 

May not solve the problem overnight but it's a start. 

 

 

[SilentJoy]

You seem insane

 

 

The psychologist said I'm fine, I just have weak people skills. :flex:
 

[SilentJoy]

It is time to join the Monastery ;)

 

I know but that might take a while.
 

[SilentJoy]

Trust me, I know about Stuff. (And, I think capitalizing Stuff makes perfect sense. "Stuff" is different from "stuff." Just my opinion.)

 

As far as I know, you are still quite young. (Forgive me if I am wrong.) Often we acquire things as time goes by and don't even realize it. I need to move this year to a smaller place, and I've lived in my house for 18 years. I have STUFF!! Also, I am disabled, and have not been able to clean things out as I go along. I now have hired two women who are helping me throw things away, because I physically can't. Trust me, you do not want to need to do this. The women are wonderful--I love them. And, it's a good thing I love them because the process is emotionally difficult and it's EXPENSIVE!

 

The first step for me was to try my best not to acquire anything new unless it was something I absolutely needed. This also saves money.

 

Perhaps you could try staying away from Thrift stores unless there is something you absolutely need--or at least go less often. Thrift stores can be wonderful. Things are so cheap that you feel like you are saving money by buying them. Or maybe if you see something you love, try putting off buying it for a month. Since it is a Thrift store, the chances are good that it won't be there in a month or you may have changed your mind and realized you don't absolutely need it.

 

There are certain times in our lives when we HAVE to acquire things. For example, when we move into your first apartment, we need a bed, etc etc. But, most of the time, there are far fewer things that we absolutely need.

 

My weakness is bed linens. I love having pretty new sheets. They make me happy. But, now I have far too many sheets and they take up a LOT of room.

 

Another possibility is one I learned when I worked as a librarian. Libraries have a finite amount of space. As a librarian, I HAD to buy new books for the library. That was my favorite part of the job--buying books with someone else's money! LOL

 

However, since the library's shelf space was limited, for every new book I bought for the library, I had to get rid of a book. (Librarians call this "weeding.") If I had carried what I learned on the job into my personal life, I would be happier today. That is, if I had to do it over again, every time I bought something new that wasn't necessary or that wouldn't be used up, I would get rid of something else. My sister has done this all her adult life--she has all the domestic skills I lack. (However, I am much nicer. :hehe: )

 

Good luck with Stuff! It can be conquered, despite the pain! My house is a living testament to that!

Thanks for the advice! I'm sorry that you're going through the difficult process of moving away and culling things. I hope that you can find all the help that you need and that it will be as smooth as it can be.

[SilentJoy]

My two cents.  One, if you've never had to help someone clear out a lifetime's accumulation of Stuff, trust me, it's an eye-opening, back-breaking experience.  I've done it with my parents and I vowed then and there never to put someone else through that.  And my parents weren't particularly hoarders or anything.  Two, move across the country.  Several times.  It will force you to pick and choose the Stuff that really matters.  Like, my son's size 4 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle underwear, circa 1990.

 

But if you can do neither of those, perhaps go to a hotel and spend the night.  Do not bring any of your Stuff.  Look around the room empty of Stuff.  Ask yourself what Stuff you wish you had with you in the hotel room.  If the answer is none of it, go home and throw it all out, or give it away, or sell it, or whatever you have to do in order to get rid of it.  Then when you feel like acquiring more Stuff, ask yourself why.  If the answer is that you feel empty without it, ask the Lord to fill that empty place inside of you with His all-powerful Love. 

 

May not solve the problem overnight but it's a start. 

Yes, I HAVE helped clean out a lifetime of Stuff! That's why it needs to be nipped in the bud now. When my grandparents passed away, the relatives hired an extra large dumpster to park in the yard for all the Stuff that wasn't even worth giving away, plus they filled a U-Haul with items for Salvation Army.

 

I like the idea of going to an empty room and then deciding what I need to be there. That tactic helped with the wall clutter a few weeks ago (and I had a LOT of wall clutter); after the walls were cleaned and painted, it was easier to see what needed to be there and what could be gotten rid of.

[SilentJoy]

I had an interesting de-cluttering experience!

A woman fell on the ice beside her mailbox and I was one of the first to pull over. She needed layers to keep her warm until an ambulance showed up so I put my favorite coat under her head and piled on whatever other jackets or blankets we had in the car, and somebody in a li'l yellow VW Bug stopped and tossed their emergency blanket out to us. After some emergency responders showed up, I waited in the car with the flashers on (wasn't really sure what to do after that, and I kind of wanted my favorite coat back) and when the ambulance came someone bundled up the coats and stuff and disappeared with them...

 

I thought, if I was going to lose my favorite coat, that was a fitting way for it to go. I had a couple other personal coats anyway, and my family has accumulated an absurd amount of coats and jackets that no one wears and we're not allowed to give away because "We might NEED that!!"