beatitude Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 (edited) I think we need to be careful about judging the clothes we see on other people at discernment retreats. As a teenager, I used to look very weird because I would wear my aunt's old cast-offs - I found them comfortable and I liked the colours. Classmates laughed at me and for a long time I didn't even notice, let alone understand why, as I couldn't see that my clothes were any different from theirs. :paperbag: Now I cringe at the memory. I can't believe my parents let me out of the house in some of those skirts. Just because someone looks like a fashion plate to us doesn't mean that she necessarily sees herself in that light at all, or that she's going out of her way to be dressy - for her, that could be dressing down! Also, people sometimes go on discernment retreats with a lot of bravado and a couldn't-care-less attitude to conceal their nerves and the nagging tiny possibility that they might be called. Others go because they are curious about religious life and want to understand this part of their faith. Only Jesus knows their thoughts. One of my best friends went on a retreat in a top that showed her midriff when she moved, and I overheard a couple of other young women there talking about it being inappropriate for a convent. That put me in an awkward position, because I knew that my friend had gained a lot of weight through comfort eating, after a bereavement, and none of her clothes fit now. I wasn't sure that she was aware her tummy was visible when she moved in a certain way, and I didn't want to have to point that out - it would have been unkind. But it alerted me to the importance of not making snap judgments over how someone is dressed. We don't know why they look that way, maybe they're awkward and this is how they hide nerves, maybe they're scared stiff at the prospect of being called to be a nun and are resisting the idea, maybe none of that is true. We can't know for sure, and either way, it's not our business. My own approach: wear what's comfortable. Wear what's warm. Wear what you can kneel and garden in comfortably. And have fun. :) Edited January 15, 2014 by beatitude Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Be sure to bring a warm sweater; not all religious communities have as much heat as you may be used to.... or they may have MORE heat than you are used to! A sweater will let you adjust without being too obvious.... Layers are a must! Sometimes old buildings can have quirks about what parts get heated or not. It is nice to have a simple cover up like a cardigan with you. I also found a journal and a pen/pencil was good to bring as well. I liked to have a small bag with me so that I could tuck things into it (journal, bible, cardigan etc) so that I wasn't constantly having to go back to my room or have my hands full. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 I think we need to be careful about judging the clothes we see on other people at discernment retreats. :sad2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 with regards to the OP I believe the overall message has been sent loud and clear and no further commentary is necessary or prudent lest we give the impression of piling on. :crusader: My she-ro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I will ABSOLUTELY back up TT's suggestion of a bag of some sort. It's perfect for carrying bible, office book, pen, pencil and journal around without having hte stuff fall all over the place. You can tuck it under your place in the choir/church, or carry it to the dining room, etc. I also learned a trick from Sr. Mary Catharine (!) if you have an airplane or long bus trip to take -- bring an EMPTY water bottle with you... you can take it thru security and then fill it up once you are INSIDE the secure area.... no dehydration and no buying expensive bottled water! And that trick works really well to go into your 'carry bag' as well -- just having something so you can have a drink of water without bothering the sisters can be a life-saver. I've been thinking aobut the whole 'how do you want to present yourself' thing -- and maybe the image is that of a friendly, intelligent cat or well-mannered dog.... rather than a crazy kitten with a giant ball of pink yarn or a crazy puppy. Does that help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 I've been thinking aobut the whole 'how do you want to present yourself' thing -- and maybe the image is that of a friendly, intelligent cat or well-mannered dog.... rather than a crazy kitten with a giant ball of pink yarn or a crazy puppy. Does that help? Got it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 IT'S THE CHURCH LADY CAT FOR THE WIN!!!!!! :winner: :nun3: :woot: :evil: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deusluxmea Posted January 16, 2014 Share Posted January 16, 2014 May the record show, I thoroughly and whole-heartedly approve of the second proposed option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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