SilentJoy Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 This does remind me of a funny story about a nun whom I know. She entered wearing full make-up and brightly coloured figure-hugging jeans as a defiant sign to the community that she was totally unsuitable and they wouldn't keep her more than a week. The novice mistress's reaction on seeing her was, "Oh dear." She's now the novice mistress herself. :P This is hilarious, too. (Sorry, I'm skipping around a lot with my responses.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 You don't have to put on a comedy show. :) Just go dressed as you usually are. It's hard to be your usual self when you're shy - and the sisters will understand that. Visits to enclosed monasteries are not a common thing and even the most confident bubbly women might feel a bit nervous in such an unfamiliar social situation. You will soon settle down and they will understand you're not terrified of them. Don't try to over-plan it or worry about what they're going to think. It may be that your nerves are a bigger deal to you than they are to the nuns. Thanks! I don't want to set the wrong tone; I think "shy, respectful person who likes you" is probably a lot better than "shy, silly person who wants to make you laugh"... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 :) SilentJoy...be yourself, no one else is better qualified :) I hope not... (I'm not sure where I read that but it is a good rule to go by). Your first impression will be what the sisters remember for the rest of your life! Praying that you'll have a grace-filled week and with joy and peace. Thank you! :heart: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandelynmarie Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 But that IS myself. I might be shy, but I can be a 'character' now and then... I was just wondering how much of myself I ought to show them right away. Probably not the 'character' part yet, it might come across as offensive, and I wouldn't want that at all. If God wills that you enter, this gift of "being a character" will come in handy during recreations & especially if they have skits! :topsy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Well... I'll weigh in on the side of NOT doing anything too odd on my first visit. After all, they have no way of knowing what you are really like! They will get to know your funny, wild, happy side soon enough but you don't want anyone to think that that is ALL there is to you! Because we have seen right here on Vocation Station that you take your potential vocation as a serious thing.... and that is the reason you want to stay with them for that week. You'll get a chance to let them see the playful side of you!!! They will probably encourage it to come out and play!!!! But what you DON'T want is to do something that will make you feel REALLY uncomfortable for the rest of your visit! But this is a good question... what to wear on a live-in and/or a first visit.....Maybe some of you have some ideas about what kinds of things YOU would wear/bring on a live-in experience? I would tend to bring clothes that might be considered 'business casual' and at least one nicer thing you can wear for Sunday Mass (and other times when the Sisters wear more formal clothing) (Choir mantles or cappas, or special veils and the such). You might ask the Sisters what kinds of clothing they would prefer you to bring, too. I have had friends who were TOLD to wear dark colors, and others who were told just wear nice lay clothing. Some communities prefer people to wear skirts rather than slacks. You would not be out of line asking the sisters if they have a preference.) You might also want to bring one outfit you could get 'dirty' with == they may have something like gardening or a messy project in your future! AND you might want to bring a robe and bath slippers and maybe a towel and toiletries with you.... they probably will provide them, but you wouldn't want to find yourself with out them! And.. you could very well be using a restroom or shower room down a hall, so I'd bring a robe and slippers to be safe.... Shoes or sandals that don't squeak? An alarm clock? Books? Journal? Anyone else have any suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnlySunshine Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 (edited) I agree with everyone else. On one of the discernment retreats I attended there was a girl who dressed rather oddly for someone discerning as she was all about fashion and most that I've met wear toned-down clothing and jewelry (you are amongst habits, after all). Turns out, she wasn't serious about it and let everyone know. No one knows the real reason why she was there in the first place if she wasn't interested in joining. She also visited the Nashville Dominicans. I recently looked her up on Facebook and she's engaged to be married. It was a very strange encounter. Edited January 15, 2014 by MaterMisericordiae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pia Jesu Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Sounds like a bad idea. What outcome would you be hoping for? Reiterating Deusluxmea's point, purposefully dressing in a frivolous way would seem to miss the point of the community's generous offer of allowing you to come for a live-in. It is for discernment--in the House of God, after all. Modest dress--at least in my opinion--would be more respectful and appropriate. Opportunities for providing entertainment will present themselves later (after you've been accepted!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilllabettt Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 with regards to the OP I believe the overall message has been sent loud and clear and no further commentary is necessary or prudent lest we give the impression of piling on. AnneLine had an interesting question ... what should be packed on a week long retreat. I say a pair of nice flats and a pair of sneakers (for longer walks or dirty work.) Flats don't make that heart-stopping "clop" sound on church floors (heels ... ugh) and whenever I have visited a place without bringing sneakers I invariably have to borrow a pair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheresaThoma Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 For visits I have just brought simple modest clothing. I wear skirts almost all the time anyways so that wasn't an issue for me. Toiletries in a portable form are highly advised. An alarm clock (or phone with an alarm function) can be helpful as well. Particularly if you will be staying in a separate area and/or getting up at a different time. On one of my visits the Sisters forgot to wake us up the first day but most of us had set alarms anyways so it was ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Be sure to bring a warm sweater; not all religious communities have as much heat as you may be used to.... or they may have MORE heat than you are used to! A sweater will let you adjust without being too obvious.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 If God wills that you enter, this gift of "being a character" will come in handy during recreations & especially if they have skits! :topsy: ...which is the appropriate time to be a little odd. :hehe2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 But what you DON'T want is to do something that will make you feel REALLY uncomfortable for the rest of your visit! :ohno: Nope, not me. I'm going quiet, dark, and polite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 I agree with everyone else. On one of the discernment retreats I attended there was a girl who dressed rather oddly for someone discerning as she was all about fashion and most that I've met wear toned-down clothing and jewelry (you are amongst habits, after all). Turns out, she wasn't serious about it and let everyone know. No one knows the real reason why she was there in the first place if she wasn't interested in joining. She also visited the Nashville Dominicans. I recently looked her up on Facebook and she's engaged to be married. It was a very strange encounter. Definitely not something to do at a retreat weekend, with other discerners present and without knowing the community at all. :banned: I went to a larger discernment retreat weekend (I think the attendance was around 120), and there was a fairly broad spectrum of attire represented; there were girls who wore mantillas on their heads, and girls wearing mantillas on their...well, as skirts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 15, 2014 Author Share Posted January 15, 2014 Definitely not something to do at a retreat weekend, with other discerners present and without knowing the community at all. By that, I wasn't suggesting that it might be okay otherwise; I was just emphasizing that, of all times NOT to do it, this was certainly bad timing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 (edited) there were girls who wore mantillas on their heads, and girls wearing mantillas on their...well, as skirts. :winner: :nun2: :hehe: :blush: :like3: Edited January 15, 2014 by maximillion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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