SilentJoy Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Not sure if this belongs here or in the "be do lame" phorum (or if it belongs anywhere, period...) I've been invited to make a 'live-in' with a Discalced Carmelite community for a week. I have visited their Monastery twice and have managed to look terrified in spite of my best intentions. I don't want to seem too shy when I actually come to stay with them. Would it be funny and endearing if I showed up in makeup and a moderately-risqué outfit (something that covered enough but was still gaudy and extremely impractical), or is that A VERY BAD IDEA? If I was going to do something like that, I would ask Reverend Mother's permission, of course, but I wanted to ask here first. They seem to be outgoing with a good sense of humor, but I don't want to ruin any chances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deusluxmea Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Sounds like a bad idea. What outcome would you be hoping for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 Sounds like a bad idea. What outcome would you be hoping for? I thought it might make them laugh. Bad idea. :paperbag: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 You don't have to put on a comedy show. :) Just go dressed as you usually are. It's hard to be your usual self when you're shy - and the sisters will understand that. Visits to enclosed monasteries are not a common thing and even the most confident bubbly women might feel a bit nervous in such an unfamiliar social situation. You will soon settle down and they will understand you're not terrified of them. Don't try to over-plan it or worry about what they're going to think. It may be that your nerves are a bigger deal to you than they are to the nuns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmaD2006 Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 BAD IDEA to do what you were thinking of as "funny." A better idea is maybe, maybe bringing a gift for the community. Especially something that can be saved for a feast day (sweets?). Or maybe, stationary, etc. It isn't necessary at all -- and if I were going to do that I'd give it towards the end of the visit. But it does show that you care for the community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatitude Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 This does remind me of a funny story about a nun whom I know. She entered wearing full make-up and brightly coloured figure-hugging jeans as a defiant sign to the community that she was totally unsuitable and they wouldn't keep her more than a week. The novice mistress's reaction on seeing her was, "Oh dear." She's now the novice mistress herself. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 BAD IDEA to do what you were thinking of as "funny." A better idea is maybe, maybe bringing a gift for the community. Especially something that can be saved for a feast day (sweets?). Or maybe, stationary, etc. It isn't necessary at all -- and if I were going to do that I'd give it towards the end of the visit. But it does show that you care for the community. Yes, I was going to bring a present...I live just outside a tourist town, so there are lots of interesting shops with edible souvenirs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Not to hijack, but I turned up wearing a poison green wool coat I had got in a charity shop because I don't like coats and didn't have any other (well, I HAD packed a lovely ankle length black Burberry raincoat, you know, just in case they ever got to give me the habit, but it was in the trunk I had sent on ahead). This was a French community and the novices who, unbeknown to me were all peering out the noviciate window as I arrived, all fell about laughing at the hapless, completely unfashion conscious dumpy English postulant. I NEVER lived it down. So they at least had a sense of humour, an essential requisite to conventual living I might add. I have no idea what possessed me to wear such a thing. probably it was cheap and it fitted. When it was given away there was even more teasing by the others about it now having to be worn by some homeless person and what a penance I had imposed on them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swami Mommy Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Trying to be funny in inappropirate clothing as a way of breaking the ice and masking your fear may be off-putting to those who view their vocation as something sacred. Owning your fear/shyness to the others in the community is much more endearing than trying to mask it. I like someone's suggestion of bringing a 'hostess' gift for the community, especially something that can be put away for a special holiday treat as a way of thanking them for their 'sweetness' to you. Chocolate hearts filled with a delicious creamy filling would be a nice touch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DameAgnes Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 yeah, really, really bad idea. Just be yourself. If you cannot be yourself with a community, you won't be able to live there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominican Nuns Menlo Park Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 :) SilentJoy...be yourself, no one else is better qualified :) (I'm not sure where I read that but it is a good rule to go by). Your first impression will be what the sisters remember for the rest of your life! Praying that you'll have a grace-filled week and with joy and peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feankie Posted January 14, 2014 Share Posted January 14, 2014 Please consider bringing something the nuns can USE or ACTUALLY eat....nothing "touristy". Postage stamps, treats they would not normally eat, soaps, things like that. They would be much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 Please consider bringing something the nuns can USE or ACTUALLY eat....nothing "touristy". Postage stamps, treats they would not normally eat, soaps, things like that. They would be much appreciated. Yes, I think I mentioned that the souvenirs were edible. There's a lot of food in a tourist town. :hehe2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 yeah, really, really bad idea. Just be yourself. If you cannot be yourself with a community, you won't be able to live there. But that IS myself. I might be shy, but I can be a 'character' now and then... I was just wondering how much of myself I ought to show them right away. Probably not the 'character' part yet, it might come across as offensive, and I wouldn't want that at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentJoy Posted January 14, 2014 Author Share Posted January 14, 2014 Not to hijack, but I turned up wearing a poison green wool coat I had got in a charity shop because I don't like coats and didn't have any other (well, I HAD packed a lovely ankle length black Burberry raincoat, you know, just in case they ever got to give me the habit, but it was in the trunk I had sent on ahead). This was a French community and the novices who, unbeknown to me were all peering out the noviciate window as I arrived, all fell about laughing at the hapless, completely unfashion conscious dumpy English postulant. I NEVER lived it down. So they at least had a sense of humour, an essential requisite to conventual living I might add. I have no idea what possessed me to wear such a thing. probably it was cheap and it fitted. When it was given away there was even more teasing by the others about it now having to be worn by some homeless person and what a penance I had imposed on them. That is hilarious... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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