Love The Sinner...

[Lumiere]

Why I Can't Say 'Love the Sinner/Hate the Sin' Anymore

 

by Micah J. Murray

 

I'm done.

 

I can't look my gay brother in the eye anymore and say "I love the sinner but hate the sin." I can't keep drawing circles in the sand.

I thought I just needed to try harder. Maybe I needed to focus more on loving the sinner, and less on protesting the sin. But even if I was able to fully live up to that "ideal," I'd still be wrong. I'd still be viewing him as something other, something different.

Not human. Not friend. Not Christian. Not brother.

Sinner.

 

And despite all my theological disclaimers about how I'm just as much a sinner too, it's not the same. We don't use that phrase for everybody else. Only them. Only "the gays." That's the only place where we make "sinner" the all-encompassing identity.

Then we try to reach them, to evangelize them. We speak of "the gays" in words reminiscent of the "savages" from those old missionary stories -- foreign and different and far away, the ultimate conquest for the church to tame and colonize and save.

Maybe we accept them in our midst. But even then, it's sinners in our midst -- branded with a rainbow-colored scarlet letter. They aren't truly part of us.

 

Even that word "them" makes me cringe as I speak it, as if my brothers and sisters are somehow other, different from me.

It's a special sort of condescending love we've reserved for the gay community. We'll agree to love them, accept them, welcome them -- but we reserve the right to see them as different. We reserve the right to say "them" instead of "us." We embrace them with arms full of disclaimers about how all the sinners are welcome here. And yet, they're the only ones we constantly remind of their status as sinners, welcome sinners.

In all this, we turn our backs on all the gay brothers and sisters already in our church, already following Jesus. Our "us vs. them" narrative leaves little space for those who didn't choose to be gay, but did choose to follow Jesus. Using "gay" and "sinner" interchangeably, we force them away from the Table and into the shadows.

 

They say Jesus was a friend of sinners, but he didn't describe himself that way.

 

His motto wasn't "eating and drinking with prostitutes and tax collectors." Those were the labels used by the religious community, by the disapproving onlookers. What's amazing about Jesus is that when he hung out with sinners, he didn't act like they were sinners. They weren't a "project," a "mission field." They were his friends. People with names. Defined as beloved children of the Creator, not defied by their sins. Icons of God's image. His brothers and sisters.

 

It was the Pharisees who looked at them and scrawled "sinner" on their foreheads. It was the accusers who drew circles in the sand with themselves on the inside and "those sinners" on the outside.

 

Those words -- "a friend of sinners" -- were spoken with an upturned nose and a self-righteous sneer. And that's the same phrase the church has adopted to speak of our own brothers and sisters -- "Love the sinner, hate the sin."

It's the same self-righteous sneer heard in the words of those who dragged the woman caught in adultery to Jesus: "What should we do with such a woman?" They defined her by a moment. She was "one of those." Not a sister. Not a human. Just a pawn in a political debate. A sinner.

But Jesus knelt with her in the sand. Unafraid to get dirty. Unafraid to affirm her humanity. "Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more."

He could have said "You're a sinner, but I love you anyways." But she knew she was a sinner. Those voices were loud and near and they held rocks above her head.

 

Jesus refused to let his voice join theirs. By telling her "go and sin no more," he affirmed that sin is not her deepest identity. It's not how he saw her. It's not who she was at the core of the being.

 

I am a sinner.

 

But before I was a sinner, I was created in the image of God. While sin has twisted and smudged that image, it can't erase it. Sin is so terrible that it killed Jesus. But it doesn't define me any longer. I am a new creation.

 

Because of Jesus, "sinner" is not how God sees me. It's not how I see myself. And it shouldn't be how I see my brothers and sisters in the church.

There is no condemnation for those who are in Jesus. To look at my gay Christian brother and say "God loves the sinner" is to set myself against Jesus and bring condemnation again to those he's already redeemed.

 

So I'm done.

 

I'm done with "Love the sinner, but hate the sin."

 

I won't say it anymore.

 

I'm done with speaking as if I'm different, better than you.

 

We are icons. We are children of the Creator, redeemed by Jesus. We are brothers and sisters.

 

And today, that's enough.

 

Edited January 4, 2014 by Lumiere

[Clare Brigid]

Why I Can't Say 'Love the Sinner/Hate the Sin' Anymore

 

by Micah J. Murray

 

* * *

And despite all my theological disclaimers about how I'm just as much a sinner too, it's not the same. We don't use that phrase for everybody else. Only them. Only "the gays." That's the only place where we make "sinner" the all-encompassing identity.

Then we try to reach them, to evangelize them. 

 

Right on target.

[arfink]

I tend to agree with the sentiment of the author, but I feel like the only reason he's done with saying the phrase is because it's being applied poorly.

[CrossCuT]

Very good post. We were just discussing this phrase in another thread.

 

 

I tend to agree with the sentiment of the author, but I feel like the only reason he's done with saying the phrase is because it's being applied poorly.

How is it applied poorly? And how would it then be applied correctly?

 

[An Historian]

One of the spiritual works of mercy is to admonish sinners.

[cappie]

I think if such a statement was applied equally and presumably to "known" sinners then the sentiment is a good one.

 

However it seems it is applied to one section of the community in a blanket way and presumes that people who have feelings for someone of the same sex are acting out those feelings...hence the "sinner" aspect, which is a mighty big assumption, one that no one should make.

 

As an example If I knew someone was committing the sin of adultery I would obviously "hate the sin but love the sinner."

[reyb]

He did not mention if there is no more condemnation for Christian gays or if homosexuality and lesbianism are not sins anymore. He simply reason out his argument  that he will no longer say ‘Love the Sinner and hate the sin’.

 

Preachers and pastors or even priest, welcome them (gays) in the community because they are hoping that eventually they will leave their homosexuality thus, they say ‘Hate the sin and love the sinner’.,to justify (or to reason out to straight people) why they are welcoming them.

 

I really cannot imagine how hard for them to accept the truth that homosexuals and straight people are the same when it comes to spirituality.

Edited January 5, 2014 by reyb

[brandelynmarie]

We are all sinners...love me, too . Let us love one another, pray for one another, & entrust one another to Him Who is Love & Mercy Itself. :pray:

Edited January 5, 2014 by brandelynmarie

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

Jesus "when your right hand causes you to sin cut it off." Sometimes just not killing someone is loving them, sometimes distance and prayer is how we love the sinner and hate the sin. Sometimes saying nothing is partaking in sin. If someone is causing you to despair, and despair is a sin according to the holy roman catholic churches opinion, you need to cut them off, after forgiving them so many times, 70 times 7 is not an infinite example, we are humans and God understands that. Sure all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God but i'm not going to hell for no one, i can go to hell for someone in the temporal for a certain amount of time but if it starts causing me to sin i'm not giving up my salvation for no one.  All i have said is just an opinion and i have no theological degree i just read and think about holy scripture and as to what it means.

 

Onward christian souls.

 

Jesus is LORD.

 

P.s. I have compassion for all and try and understand the nature of sin to the best of my ability, but no one can wrestle with leviathon and win, sometimes you just have to let go and let god to keep a good relationship with God yourself, without totally isolating yourself for to long though. Jesus often when to the mountains by himself to meditate. And also i used to think i had to save people, that is not my Job salvation is between an individual and God, of course i can share my faith, hope and love but honestly i don't think we can save anyone, let go. I may be wrong. And anyone feel free to comment on my opinion.

 

P.s.s. Why is it so hard to see homosexuality is a sin of lust, as is masturbation and sleeping around. And i'm not saying the homosexual couple don't love each other but the act is sinful as far as i'm aware. And an historian with the whole admonishing sinners i believe we also must be prudent and tactful in our admonishing. 

 

P.s.s.s I think we can only say so much so many times personally to another person, than we have to let it rain and see what happens.

Edited January 5, 2014 by Tab'le De'Bah-Rye

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

And i don't necessarily agree with michas opinion on the church universal nore that the missionaries viewed native cultures as savages perhaps some did but not all. I will pray for him or her now, he or she seems very lost perhaps. :( or perhaps i'm the lost one. Who knows, i will pray for michah anyways that God blesses michah and his will to be done for him or her.

Edited January 5, 2014 by Tab'le De'Bah-Rye

[reyb]

There is hypocrisy in ‘Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin’ mentality. It is an scapegoat motto of preachers not to question them by straight people in accepting gays or sexually immoral people in the community. 

 

It is written in 1 Cor 5:9-13

 

I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

 

What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."  

 

Can anyone explain this?

Edited January 5, 2014 by reyb

[Luigi]

It's not the Church that drives homosexuals out of the Church. The gays I know have left the Church of their own volition.

 

 

Except, of course, for the gay priests I know - they've stayed.

 

 

 

If someone doesn't want to "love the sinner but hate the sin," that's fine, I guess. You can figure out your own little mantra however you please. But it's still the best approach - for homosexuals, for people who cheat on their spouses, for gamblers, for alcoholics, for everything.

 

The other thing is, even the OP quotes Jesus with the woman taken in adultery - "Go and sin no more." Wouldn't Jesus say the same thing to a homosexual these days? It's not the being homosexual that's a problem, it's the sinning more. And the Church does have a ministry to gays to help them sin no more - it's called Courage, or Encourage, or something.

[An Historian]

If someone is living in a state of habitual sin, that person is a sinner.  And we are called to love them, care for them and yes admonish them.  But we are not called to embrace their sin, to consent to it, to enable them in it.  Hate the sin, love the sinner.  It does what it says on the tin.

There is no dehumanisation going on.  It's a simple testament to the human condition.  We are all sinners.  And all I see right now is someone that has jumped on to the PC bandwagon and signed up for the "normalisation" homosexuality.

[Aloysius]

Like the phrase "separate but equal", on the face value of the phrase it could be defensible.

 

In practice, it has generally been deplorable.  A distinction that serves to make those who make it feel better about not adequately distancing themselves from the real scourges of hatred and bullying in our society that surround and completely overshadow any legitimate Christian sexual morality.

 

but I guess I'm probably just being too P.C. and weakening our political strategy in the culture war... 

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

There is hypocrisy in ‘Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin’ mentality. It is an scapegoat motto of preachers not to question them by straight people in accepting gays or sexually immoral people in the community. 

 

It is written in 1 Cor 5:9-13

 

I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.

 

What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? 13 God will judge those outside. "Expel the wicked man from among you."  

 

Can anyone explain this?

 

 

I think It means ' to give someone the cold shoulder.' But in context at another point St paul says something like " If one among you is not repentant of there sins you must not associate with them." 

 

To me this means if someone is openly a sinner vocally in pride i guess, than we are not to associate with them. If they are not going to confession, if they don't have sorrow for there sins, etc etc. But also i can't judge anyone as to whether they have true sorrow for there sins or not.

 

I have some friends whom are or seem to be habitual mortal sinners, and i do hate that fact but also i love them and treat them with love,respect and prayer. But also these people go to confession when they can and don't boast in there sin although they talk about it with me, but also if they weren't going to confession and there depravity was causing me or the community in general to have a distorted relationship with myself/themselves,life and the LORD than yes i would have to dis associate with them after trying my best to correct there ways in faith, hope and love, even if that made half the community act as if i was a Nazi, well i do hope i would have that courage to do what is right even at the expense of the love and respect of others.

 

Onward christian souls.

 

Jesus is LORD.

Edited January 5, 2014 by Tab'le De'Bah-Rye