Was Macht Der Fuchs Sagan?

[cartermia]

So I played at Mass for the first time last Friday. It went really bad. Fr. B (religion teacher, old SD) voluntold (volunteered/told) me I was going to play a couple of days before I had to. Fr. Michael (possibly new SD) gave me a list of multiple songs (that the students wouldn't know) and told me to learn them. I knew the songs but I knew my classmates didn't so I told him and he said it would be alright. So I learned the songs and played them at Mass. I was having this one guy (Will) cantor for me but he (like me) had never did his position at Mass before. He forgot when to sing so I ended up doing like a solo multiple times which was super embarrassing because I wasn't feeling good. By the closing hymn though I had gotten the congregation whipped into shape and they were following my lead. Lol.

 

About the new SD thing; Fr. B was my SD but he has gotten reassigned to two parishes close to my school so he is still teaching there but he is no longer my school Chaplin and says that he thinks it would be best if I found another SD. Now Fr. Michael is our new school Chaplin and he teaches at the school (8th and 9th grade religion and Spanish I and II). He has asked me multiple times if "I was going to become a nun" and it just so happened that my aunt who likes to talk and knows about my discernment was right there when he asked me. She said, "Carter, you are still thinking about it right?" This was around like several strangers so it was really awkward and I said, " I have thought about it in the past but have not decided what I want to do with my life." I gave my aunt the *I'm gonna kill you* look lol. Father dropped the topic because I think he picked up on the tension. \

Last week though I decided I should at least be honest with him so I asked if I could speak to him after school for a few minutes. He said sure and as soon as I walked in his room to speak he had a smile on his face and said, "So what community do I need to contact and when do you want to enter?" I explained to him that I am trying to discern if I should discern right now (does that make sense?) because I know my current vocation is to do well in school and to be there for my mother. I told him about stuff that had been going on and how I kind of have been made at God lately because of everything that has happened. He stopped me and asked if it was about my dad (I had never mentioned my father or anything but I knew he knew) and I shook my head yes.

He asked my what spirituality I liked and I said Benedictine (and Carmelite somewhat) then I asked him which one he was fond of (even though I thought I knew). He is a Dominican fan and knows several Nashies and DSMMEs. I told him that I would have guessed that. He said that he had quite a few Benedictine friends and has a friend who is a Discalde  Carmelite. He said if I ever needed to talk and needed SD then he would be more then willing to help. I thanked him then I went off to volleyball practice and he went and got Fr. B's dog to bring to volleyball practice. (The dog likes to run with us when we run and Fr. Michael helps coach us.)

 

So this is me. lol it isn't very exciting but it never has been really exciting.

[IgnatiusofLoyola]

So I played at Mass for the first time last Friday. It went really bad. Fr. B (religion teacher, old SD) voluntold (volunteered/told) me I was going to play a couple of days before I had to. Fr. Michael (possibly new SD) gave me a list of multiple songs (that the students wouldn't know) and told me to learn them. I knew the songs but I knew my classmates didn't so I told him and he said it would be alright. So I learned the songs and played them at Mass. I was having this one guy (Will) cantor for me but he (like me) had never did his position at Mass before. He forgot when to sing so I ended up doing like a solo multiple times which was super embarrassing because I wasn't feeling good. By the closing hymn though I had gotten the congregation whipped into shape and they were following my lead. Lol.

 

About the new SD thing; Fr. B was my SD but he has gotten reassigned to two parishes close to my school so he is still teaching there but he is no longer my school Chaplin and says that he thinks it would be best if I found another SD. Now Fr. Michael is our new school Chaplin and he teaches at the school (8th and 9th grade religion and Spanish I and II). He has asked me multiple times if "I was going to become a nun" and it just so happened that my aunt who likes to talk and knows about my discernment was right there when he asked me. She said, "Carter, you are still thinking about it right?" This was around like several strangers so it was really awkward and I said, " I have thought about it in the past but have not decided what I want to do with my life." I gave my aunt the *I'm gonna kill you* look lol. Father dropped the topic because I think he picked up on the tension. \

Last week though I decided I should at least be honest with him so I asked if I could speak to him after school for a few minutes. He said sure and as soon as I walked in his room to speak he had a smile on his face and said, "So what community do I need to contact and when do you want to enter?" I explained to him that I am trying to discern if I should discern right now (does that make sense?) because I know my current vocation is to do well in school and to be there for my mother. I told him about stuff that had been going on and how I kind of have been made at God lately because of everything that has happened. He stopped me and asked if it was about my dad (I had never mentioned my father or anything but I knew he knew) and I shook my head yes.

He asked my what spirituality I liked and I said Benedictine (and Carmelite somewhat) then I asked him which one he was fond of (even though I thought I knew). He is a Dominican fan and knows several Nashies and DSMMEs. I told him that I would have guessed that. He said that he had quite a few Benedictine friends and has a friend who is a Discalde  Carmelite. He said if I ever needed to talk and needed SD then he would be more then willing to help. I thanked him then I went off to volleyball practice and he went and got Fr. B's dog to bring to volleyball practice. (The dog likes to run with us when we run and Fr. Michael helps coach us.)

 

So this is me. lol it isn't very exciting but it never has been really exciting.

I enjoyed this and learned quite a bit. I realized that it is a not a totally bad thing that I live 2000 miles from my niece and nephew because it means that I never embarrass them in front of other people. (Actually, I thought it was a parent's responsibility to embarrass their child(ren), and that an aunt's job is be totally cool, as well as supportive and understanding. But, perhaps that is the grandparent's job. I am SO confused.)

I also thought it was really lovely to go pick up a dog just so the dog could participate in volleyball practice. Does the dog get in the way?

I didn't really understand what was going on with the Mass story, but then again, I'm not Catholic, and it's been a long time since I've been to a Catholic Mass. I married a Catholic, and attended Mass a lot then, particularly when we were engaged, but that was during the "dark days" when the standard music at Mass was bad guitar and lame songs. (Don't get me wrong--I LOVE guitar music, but because I also love religious music, bad guitar playing combined with lame songs hurts my ears. It was all the more awful because when my ex and I were dating, we alternated between Episcopal and Catholic Masses, and the Episcopalian Masses at the parish we attended had an outstanding choir, sung/chanted services, and traditional hymns (where the congregation actually sang). Sometimes for a change, we would go to a (Catholic) Spanish Mass. (We lived in LA, and at that point in my life I was virtually fluent in Spanish.) The music was outstanding, the congregation was reverent--I loved Spanish Masses. 

Stupid question: Before Phatmass, I had never heard of a cantor in a Catholic Mass. For whatever reason, I have lived in heavily Jewish neighborhoods all my life and have been to many Jewish Sabbath services. So, I understand the role of a cantor in a Jewish service, but not a Catholic Mass. In Episcopalian Masses, it is usually the priest who leads the chant, or perhaps the choir director. Okay, that's one other thing I don't understand about Catholic churches. Every Episcopal church I know of, no matter how small, has a choir director. The Catholic church closest to me is huge. It has a large sanctuary, and offers five Masses on Sundays, two (or is it three?) Masses on Saturdays, and two Masses every weekday. They have at least 20 church organizations, but no choir, and thus, no choir director. It's not for lack of money because the parish is in an affluent area. What gives? I have never even been tempted to visit this parish because of its lack of music (and with no choir, it likely has no chant.)

Thank-you for letting me hijack your thread. I'll leave you to return to your usual programming. 

[cartermia]

Iggy, aunts and uncles were put on this earth to embarrass their nieces and nephews, or at least that is my understanding. 

I totally get what you mean about the "dark days"! And I am sorry that I was not all to clear about the Mass story.

Fr. Michael came up to me in Fr. B's class and asked me/told me that I was going to play the organ at Mass on Friday. I am just now learning the organ and have never accompanied anyone on the piano especially a whole congregation at Mass. He gave me a huge list of songs to learn (that a lot of the students didn't know) but he said it would be okay, his homily was going to quote the songs. (They were good old songs, not the new hippy music there is today.) I said okay and learned them. 

Friday came before I knew it and I practiced on the strange organ (we went to a neighboring parish) and I thought I was ready for Mass. I had practiced with Will so he knew the songs and I thought we were set to go. I guess Will got nervous or something and didn't sing so it through everything off. Fr. B (who sings really well) helped me though and it was really nice of him. 

The purpose of the cantor is to assist the accompanist into creating a beautiful liturgy through the heavenly gift of music. God allowed man to learn music so that it could be used to praise him in the Divine Liturgy of the Mass. We (the musicians) are just instruments that are able to possess some of that beauty and bring it to the congregation. Basically the cantor assist in being the beauty of heaven down to earth. Lol did this make any sense?

Time for class! Bye! 

[cartermia]

So I have two prayer request please. I have been selected out of my diocese to be a prolife ambassador and the induction breakfast is tomorrow. I have no knowledge of what is going to happen or what to expect. Prayers please! 

Also please offer a pray for Fr. Michael. I can tell that he is so tired but he has so much to do. He was just ordained in May and I think he thinks he can take on the world. Please say a prayer for him also because he godfather passed away  two weeks ago. 

Thank you!!!

[TheresaThoma]

Carter you mentioned discerning if you should discern right now. I went through something very similar after my dad passed away. My first reaction was that I should take a year off from discerning. Right after I made that decision it felt like all I could think of was my discernment. And there was just such a pull on my heart to not put it aside. So listen to what your heart is telling you but also talk it over with your spiritual director. If you feel that pull to keep moving forward then do so. Don't be ashamed of being ready to continue on with your life. 

I will pray for you and your spiritual director. My spiritual director was just ordained this spring as well and I know what you mean about them wanting to take on the world. It is inspiring but they definitely need our prayers.

[cartermia]

TT, I have so many mixed emotions right now that I don't even listen to them now. Lol I know it sounds bad but I know what my heart wants me to do and I doubt I can do it right now so I push it away. I cannot do anything with discern really anyways since I still don't want to tell mom. (Dad knew.) lol I just don't want to take on telling her right now. 

And Congrats to your SD!!! I will definitely keep him and you in my prayers!  

[TheresaThoma]

Telling my mom is definitely not something I am looking forward to. While I was living with my mom I wasn't able to do really anything discernment wise. Now that I am out on my own and 1,000 miles away it is a bit different but I still haven't told her. I don't want to get her all upset until I am sure I will be entering.

Looking back I wanted to move forward in my discernment but I wasn't ready. Now I'm pretty sure I am ready. This coming weekend I am going for another visit and will hopefully be talking to the prioress about taking the next step in discernment!

[cartermia]

Lol I get what you mean, TT! I am holding off about telling her till I am a little while away just in case she gets upset or something. she doesn't need to get anymore upset right now.

Happy feast day of St. Pope John Paul II!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my confirmation saint!!!)

My volleyball team is going to regionals next week!!! I am so happy! This is the first time in the past five years that we have gone and I am so proud of my team!!!

Edited October 23, 2015 by cartermia
misspelling

[cartermia]

Happy All Saints Day!!! And happy soon to be All Souls Day! Tomorrow Fr. Michael (my SD and school chaplin) is taking the whole high school to the cemetery for a Mass. I know it is going to be hard because it is the same cemetery that Dad is buried in and I have a feeling it might be said close to his grave. It should be a good experience for my peers hopefully!

My volleyball team got out first round in regions but the people we lost to where region runner-ups so that makes us look okay.... Not really!

Prayers for me and I will pray for you!

[chrysostom]

You mentioned learning the organ.  As it happens I am just learning too - well, Fr heard me playing Bach's WTC and mentioned they needed someone to fill in while they look for a new music director.  The church is a ways away so I haven't got much opportunity to practice, but I enjoyed my first weekend playing a couple Masses and dealing with lagging cantors.  They are going to make lots of changes to their current Mass repertoire as the old director liked some extremely tasteless Glorias and Agnus Deis, unfortunately.  I also had lots of fun with the preludes and postludes playing some spiffing preludes and fugues (no organ pedal though - except for a few bass drones here and there).

[cartermia]

That is great Chrysostom! The church needs more good music directors as I have learned.... I am getting used to playing with pedals now and it really isn't that bad. My mom just bought me some organ shoes off of organmaster.com. I wish you the best in your music endeavor!

 

Guys can you all say an extra prayer tomorrow around 10:45 a.m. Eastern Time? I have a spiritual direction meeting with Fr. Michael (our first official one) and I need all the grace I can get to be open. Thanks et Pax!

[cartermia]

So my SD meeting went well... I really needed to talk to someone about dad and other stuff. He let me organize his room (classroom) because its been annoying me. I think he just wanted me to clean... I learned more about myself and it has lifted something from my soul. I asked him what I could give him in payment and he said to make him some cookies and continue to mend his clothing that (I think) he rips just to annoy me a keep me busy. 

We discussed college and future plans, he suggested Notre Dame because they have a great sacred music program and he graduated from there. I know that is too expensive for me so I am looking at smaller catholic colleges. He suggested Xavier next and that is my number one pick right now but I will wait and try to get this scholar thing for this summer. 

Oh and I found a math tutor... I have  C in the class so I decided to seek help. My brother's girlfriend's sister offered to help. She is really nice and has had my math teacher before. 

So ya this is a little bit of the boring life of a catholic junior... 

[cartermia]

I am so sorry that I haven't posted in so long! I now have a B in math!!! I took the ACT and I got a 25, highest I have scored; my first time was a 23.

So I took the ACT again today and I am so worn out! Last night my mom and I got into a fight and she basically said she didn't care what I did anymore, it was my life. She yelled at me for some other stuff, brought up dad and said he knew he was going to die. He did it on purpose to leave her with me. It got ugly...

I went up to bed mad and then I just started crying. I went to the Blessed Mother crying out for my heavenly Mama instead of earthly because she was mad. I cried out for my "Papa" (JPII) for assistance. I realized when I woke up that it was the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe because someone sent me the picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe holding JPII on facebook.  I know this was no coincidence and I am extremely grateful for their intercessions upon my behalf.

Finals are this week! Prayers please! I just need my peace of mind and sleep. I know I am not getting enough sleep anymore; no rest for the wicked, right?

[cartermia]

So... I'm so not ready for these finals right now. Fr. B (religion teacher) may not give us one, we need to keep our fingers crossed. If so then I would have a 98 on that final. I need to score well on my chemistry and math finals. Chemistry is tomorrow and math is on Friday. Prayers please!!!

[cartermia]

I got a B on my Chemistry Final so that was good but I got an F on my math final... It keeps my Semester average as a C. My mom is not going to be happy with this grade and I tried hard; that is the only thing I can offer her and that I will truly try better next semester.

Prayers right now for my family; my mom is mad at my siblings and I because of an argument we had on Saturday. Emotions are just high right now because of Christmas. Things will get better eventually hopefully. Now I just have to wait.

You all are in my prayers this Christmas season! Pax!