Already Broke My Resolution.

[maximillion]

I know from personal experience what this situation can be like CatherineM, I used to do emergency, then more long term fostering for disabled and abused kids.

 

 

Prayers for you....if I was in the US I would do more to help you out.

[arfink]

Some updates. James still doesn't have a job. He got an interview at Home Depot but blurted out that he used to miss work because he hurt his back pushing in carts. This was for a parking lot attendant. I could see "potential lawsuit" in the interviewer's eyes. No call back, no surprise. We're going to try Costco next. They hire disabled kids.

New kid, Stace, has had some call backs. Construction can be slow in winter here for some reason. They still work at -40, but just don't seem to hire. They probably just don't take new jobs so no new workers. We're keeping him busy shovelling snow and little drywall repairs in the condo hallways. He's so quiet that they only way I know he's home is when I see his red sneakers.

Zach's sister was doing so many drugs that she had a bad seizure and was bleeding from her ears. Spent a week in ICU, and when she got out she kicked their dad out. Hopefully she'll stay away from the hard stuff. She had been using so much that she was hallucinating and talking to herself for weeks. I doubt she'll stay off pot though. Her dad got her hooked on it when she was 10 years old so her brain finished developing under the influence. Practically makes a chemical imprint.

Zach's adjusting to the idea that he may never catch up to his age group. He seems okay with it. I guess he always knew he was different. The rest of us didn't. The nun at Catholic Social Services who has monitored the family for 25+ years was floored by Zach's test results. It's common with kids from abusive homes to become good actors. They put on a normal face to the outside so no one will know their secret and they learn to act the way necessary at home to avoid upsetting anyone. To the world he seemed bright and all together.

It took me a year to realize that he only had a three word vocabulary for emotion. Happy, sad or mad. Nothing else. I must have instinctively known he couldn't handle an ordinary school because I wasn't pushing him to go back. I'm very pro education so that puzzled my husband.

We got to see in his file for the first time that the social worker at his special school who was supposed to get him assessed to grade level had applied to get extra funding from the province because he was special needs. She had time to do that, but never time to arrange his screening. They were getting 5 grand a month because he was bipolar. If she'd done her job, that could have tripled that.

The PDD people have a program to get them technical tickets like welding. He can't do that for a living because the doctor says it would be too hard on his chest full time. He would like to work on bicycles, and knowing how to weld would come in handy. I told him I used to make bikes for my boys in Florida from bike parts that people threw by our dumpster. He wants us to do that together next summer. So come spring, we're going to drive alleys looking for junk bikes to rebuild. Zach's Zombie Bikes because they've come back from the dead.

We put his spending money for the week in jars. One for snacks, one for entertainment, that kind of thing. I don't think he'll ever be able to manage his own money, but it's a start on budgeting. We put in all 5's so it looks like more. He's going to try getting a part time job. He's been volunteering at the Catholic homeless soup kitchen once a week. Last Monday he saw a couple of old classmates in the soup line. It shook him up. He came home and told me he'd be dead or in jail if we hadn't taken him in. We know that, but don't tell him that. It was nice to hear though. He finishes probation in two weeks. One of the few here who do without getting in trouble again.

Things seem remarkably quiet here actually. We're at the end of two years worth of paperwork and red tape. Gave a talk this morning to workers at Catholic Social Services about dealing with young adults with mental illnesses or disabilities. I guess we became experts somewhere along the way.

 

Zach's plan with bikes sounds super cool. If he has access to internet, he might want to check out http://atomiczombie.com/ to see lots of free instructional videos.

[blazeingstar]

It's a good resolution to break :buddies: Life is hard and everyone needs someone to look out for them.

[CatherineM]

Zach's plan with bikes sounds super cool. If he has access to internet, he might want to check out http://atomiczombie.com/ to see lots of free instructional videos.

He got their two books for Christmas.

[arfink]

Awesome. :)

[CatherineM]

I've got to tell a funny story. When I was showing our newest kid Stace around, I opened the door to the linen closet on the new side of the apartment to show him where I keep the extra toilet paper. To run this mad house on a budget I obviously have to shop sales and stock up. One of the nicest things about adding the second apartment was adding the extra pantry and closets.

Anyway when he saw this small hall closet full of cases of toilet paper he kind of collapsed to his knees. It reminded me of Robin Williams in Moscow on the Hudson when he goes to buy coffee. Apparently if you have toilet paper in this neighbourhood you are deemed to be wealthy.

He told us that when they used to break into his bedroom at the crack house they stole his toilet paper. He had to take a shower after using the bathroom in a house with no hot water and little heat in winter. So seeing a closet full of "white gold" overwhelmed him.

When I tell people that it's the little things with these kids, I'm not lying. Today would have been Zach's mom's 60 birthday so he's a bit rattled. I asked him what he wanted to do and he asked to just drive around. They all love riding around with me to do errands because they grew up without cars. If I get off the bus route, they see parts of the city they've never seen before.

[TheresaThoma]

I think this is a great reminder that it is the "little things" that are so little to many.