Already Broke My Resolution.

[CatherineM]

We promised ourselves that we wouldn't take in any more kids, but did yesterday. He was living in the basement of the same crack house that one of Zach's older brothers deals out of. Every day when he went to work, his room was broken into and he had some of his stuff stolen. He had trouble sleeping because of dopers coming and going all night and partying.

Yesterday he was robbed at knife point coming out of the bathroom. He was a nervous wreck and shaking. He reminded me of guys I'd see at the vfw who'd just come back from a war zone. He's still sleeping.

That place was so nasty that he had a blanket stapled to the floor because there were mushrooms growing on the carpet. Blue tarped roofs in this climate lead to lots of mold. I told him to leave the blanket.

I've been the only person at a college party who wasn't smoking pot or the only person at a family function who wasn't drunk. I can't imagine being the only person in a crack house who isn't high.

He never knew his dad, and his mom was placed in a mental hospital. They lived in subsidized housing, but when you go to a hospital, nursing home, or rehab for 3 months or longer, your disability stops here. That included her subsidized housing. We didn't know he'd been left homeless. He ate here a couple of times a week when his mom didn't have any food. I didn't notice that he'd quit taking to go plates for her. He's so quiet that no one knew.

So we went to pick him up. His stuff was all in trash bags of course. We ran into Zach's biological father. He was visiting the house and is just a nasty, scary guy. I'm glad we were all together because he might have tried to pull something on this kid. It upset all of us.

So another day, another kid, but we are out of beds now. Anyone else has to use the pull out sofa.

[CrossCuT]

I wish I lived close to you, I would want to help and spend time with them or do something, I dunno. :(

[Lilllabettt]

I wish I lived close to you, I would want to help and spend time with them or do something, I dunno. :(

 

Probably there are children in need where you live, hmmmmm?

 

Maybe Catherine can share how she finds out about these children.

[Maggyie]

Mushrooms on the rug!!!??? robbed coming out of the powder room? what a hell-hole.

[CatherineM]

They find me. Most are childhood friends of Zach's or kids from church. A friend of mine from theology school works at the youth homeless shelter. She only sends me ones that don't do drugs and are in need of a leg up to get started in life, usually because their parents are addicts or abusive.

We are also certified mentors through the boys and girl club and Chimo. The Boys and girls club has programs for emancipated youth and Chimo is a solo with supports program for kids with mental disabilities, usually retardation or fetal alcohol.

We have five right now. Three guys and a single mother and her daughter. The new kid just had his first hot shower in over 6 months. We clean them up, clothes donated to us by a catholic homeless outreach, get their paperwork in order like id and health care cards. They get dental checks, eyes and physicals. The new kid is missing half his front teeth so the dentist is first on the list. We fatten them up a bit, get them jobs, and eventually they move on.

Some succeed, some tear our hearts out. All we can hope for those who get lost to the streets again is that some time in the future they will remember some lesson we taught. If nothing else, we might be the only adult they ever meet who didn't want to use them or abuse them.

With the ones that succeed, we tell them to repay us by helping out a child in need when they get to be our age. We routinely get investigated by social workers because the idea of Christian charity is so bizarre to people that they assume we must be up to something. Not sure what. Maybe they think we're tricking them out or using them to run drugs. Of course when they find out that my husband is on the board of directors for the registered social workers, they tread lightly.

It's almost like they are desperate to find something on us. We are open books with nothing to hide, and that drives them nuts. I love showing them around.

[CatherineM]

Mushrooms on the rug!!!??? robbed coming out of the powder room? what a hell-hole.

I know. When he got out of the shower, he coughed up black goo loosened up in the steam. Just helping him move out caused Zach to start coughing. Toxic mold at a minimum. What was really creepy was this old guy high on some chemical on the porch kept touching his stuff as they went past him. He kept saying how nice everything felt. I couldn't get out of there quick enough.

[Tab'le De'Bah-Rye]

Don't be so overly charitable that you loose your own salvation and you have your child to consider now also and his or her salvation. Not saying that is what your doing but be careful. And listen to your husband. I will pray for you and your husband now.

Edited December 31, 2013 by Tab'le De'Bah-Rye

[AnneLine]

You have my prayers, Catherine.   Congratulations on the new arrival.

 

And yes, all of us can think about what we can do to help one kid.

 

Spent a few months as an aide at a residential home for children with serious, serious problems.

 

It was an eye opener.  It broke my heart.   It transformed my prayer.

 

And at Christmas time, I watched tone kids literally get totally excited because someone cared enough to know that HE didn't like peppermint and made sure ONE hot chocolate didn't have any on it.

 

It really doesn't take much to make a difference.  Maybe all of us can try to make a difference for one person in 2014.....

[CatherineM]

I've also noticed how excited they get when you remember some little thing about them. Something as seemingly unimportant as remembering their favorite soup or mustard, sends them to the moon.

As to it being dangerous, we live in a very dangerous part of town, but if you aren't into drugs, you get left alone. Still, we have woken up to yellow police tape outside our windows more than once.

We don't really own a lot worth stealing. My husband's meds might have a street value, but those are under lock and key. Our bedroom and bathroom and office have digital locks and the code gets changed routinely. We are also very careful about who we take in. Everything else we turn over to God.

[TheresaThoma]

Catherine I think some resolutions are made to be broken. May God bless you for all that you do for these kids. 

I will continue to pray for you, your family, and all the kids.

[CatherineM]

Some updates. James still doesn't have a job. He got an interview at Home Depot but blurted out that he used to miss work because he hurt his back pushing in carts. This was for a parking lot attendant. I could see "potential lawsuit" in the interviewer's eyes. No call back, no surprise. We're going to try Costco next. They hire disabled kids.

New kid, Stace, has had some call backs. Construction can be slow in winter here for some reason. They still work at -40, but just don't seem to hire. They probably just don't take new jobs so no new workers. We're keeping him busy shovelling snow and little drywall repairs in the condo hallways. He's so quiet that they only way I know he's home is when I see his red sneakers.

Zach's sister was doing so many drugs that she had a bad seizure and was bleeding from her ears. Spent a week in ICU, and when she got out she kicked their dad out. Hopefully she'll stay away from the hard stuff. She had been using so much that she was hallucinating and talking to herself for weeks. I doubt she'll stay off pot though. Her dad got her hooked on it when she was 10 years old so her brain finished developing under the influence. Practically makes a chemical imprint.

Zach's adjusting to the idea that he may never catch up to his age group. He seems okay with it. I guess he always knew he was different. The rest of us didn't. The nun at Catholic Social Services who has monitored the family for 25+ years was floored by Zach's test results. It's common with kids from abusive homes to become good actors. They put on a normal face to the outside so no one will know their secret and they learn to act the way necessary at home to avoid upsetting anyone. To the world he seemed bright and all together.

It took me a year to realize that he only had a three word vocabulary for emotion. Happy, sad or mad. Nothing else. I must have instinctively known he couldn't handle an ordinary school because I wasn't pushing him to go back. I'm very pro education so that puzzled my husband.

We got to see in his file for the first time that the social worker at his special school who was supposed to get him assessed to grade level had applied to get extra funding from the province because he was special needs. She had time to do that, but never time to arrange his screening. They were getting 5 grand a month because he was bipolar. If she'd done her job, that could have tripled that.

The PDD people have a program to get them technical tickets like welding. He can't do that for a living because the doctor says it would be too hard on his chest full time. He would like to work on bicycles, and knowing how to weld would come in handy. I told him I used to make bikes for my boys in Florida from bike parts that people threw by our dumpster. He wants us to do that together next summer. So come spring, we're going to drive alleys looking for junk bikes to rebuild. Zach's Zombie Bikes because they've come back from the dead.

We put his spending money for the week in jars. One for snacks, one for entertainment, that kind of thing. I don't think he'll ever be able to manage his own money, but it's a start on budgeting. We put in all 5's so it looks like more. He's going to try getting a part time job. He's been volunteering at the Catholic homeless soup kitchen once a week. Last Monday he saw a couple of old classmates in the soup line. It shook him up. He came home and told me he'd be dead or in jail if we hadn't taken him in. We know that, but don't tell him that. It was nice to hear though. He finishes probation in two weeks. One of the few here who do without getting in trouble again.

Things seem remarkably quiet here actually. We're at the end of two years worth of paperwork and red tape. Gave a talk this morning to workers at Catholic Social Services about dealing with young adults with mental illnesses or disabilities. I guess we became experts somewhere along the way.

[Luigi]

We routinely get investigated by social workers because the idea of Christian charity is so bizarre to people that they assume we must be up to something. ... It's almost like they are desperate to find something on us. We are open books with nothing to hide, and that drives them nuts. I love showing them around.

 

If you really want to drive them nuts, memorize the whole passage about "When I was hungry, you gave me to eat. ..When were you hungry, Lord, and we gave you to eat? ... Whatsoever you do for the least of my brothers, that you do unto me." 

 

When they ask you waht you're up to here, start the spiel. Or at least t he last verse. 

 

 

Or you could have it printed nice and large, frame it, and hang it on the wall. 

[ChristinaTherese]

If you really want to drive them nuts, memorize the whole passage about "When I was hungry, you gave me to eat. ..When were you hungry, Lord, and we gave you to eat? ... Whatsoever you do for the least of my brothers, that you do unto me." 

 

When they ask you waht you're up to here, start the spiel. Or at least t he last verse. 

 

 

Or you could have it printed nice and large, frame it, and hang it on the wall. 

That could be nice on a wall. (I'd love to embroider that.... It could be fun.)

[Luigi]

That could be nice on a wall. (I'd love to embroider that.... It could be fun.)

 

Try it! Catherine and Company would probably appreciate a lovely yet meaningful  home-decor-type gift!

[ChristinaTherese]

You know... I think I will. (Hey, CatherineM, what would you think of that?)