Ideas For Another Resource For Discerners (how To Keep The Conversatio

[TheresaThoma]

I know that we already have a list of important questions to ask a VD, however I would like to gather ideas/ create a list for another topic.

I know some people here, myself included struggle with how to maintain a line of communication after the initial contact and questions have been answered. 

I know that for some even though you might be interested enough in a community to want to make a visit but for whatever reason (school, money, time conflicts) it will be a while before that happens. So the big question is, how do you keep the conversation going in the meantime.

Please add in any idea of topics and such that you may have used in the past or would like to use.

I figure once we have a list going people could possibly comment on if a certain idea was useful or how it could be made better.

 

I'll start off with a few I know of

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Ask for a recommendation of good books particularly relating to their spirituality

 

If you have learned about a recent event in their community (via a newsletter or a Facebook page) send them a note regarding that (questions, congratulations, prayers etc)

 

Provide an update about an event in your own life

[maximillion]

A note asking for prayer, and assurances of yours, including a spiritual bouquet if you can offer one.

[brandelynmarie]

Perhaps small gifts for a community's feast day....

[Julie de Sales]

Thank you for this thread! ;) 

I have a question related to this topic: how often should a discerner contact the specific community and let them know how is their life/discernment going? By phone, letter, a note, etc given the fact that a visit would not be possible. 

[brandelynmarie]

Considering “monastery time", I would only write once a month...or ask what they would deem appropriate. ;)

[Lilllabettt]

if you notice the community being covered in the secular or religious press, send them the link with a comment or just a "look what I found!"  A lot of small, lower-key communities get mention in diocesan papers.

 

 

[TheresaThoma]

As far as how often to write I think it really depends. I would base it off of how long it typically takes them to reply. If it takes them a week or two to reply then once a month would be fine. If there seems to be interest and they reply faster than perhaps once every couple of weeks would be good.

[VeniJesuAmorMi]

Thank you for this thread! ;)

I have a question related to this topic: how often should a discerner contact the specific community and let them know how is their life/discernment going? By phone, letter, a note, etc given the fact that a visit would not be possible. 

 

On average when I have written a community I had a reply back within 2-3 weeks. In that case then perhaps a letter once a month. :) If they got back to you sooner though, then write another. It could be different each time though so you could figure it out each time you get a response.

[VeniJesuAmorMi]

Some idea's of how to keep in good communication with a community: perhaps in between letters you could send donations for the community, not just money either but supplies that are in need or baked goods (homemade is special if you could. :)) along with a little note or card saying that you are thinking of them and praying for them, and ask for their prayers as well.

[AveMariaPurissima]

You could send them a Christmas or Easter card/note.

[Freedom]

Should you keep the conversation going if you're applying?  I'm currently in the application phase and I feel as if I should remain in contact (as they did say to keep in touch) but I don't really know what to say.  The Rev. Mother is taking over the correspondence now that I'm applying and she prefers to do so by phone.  I am kind of curious about the Chapter of Faults, I asked if they did practice that (hoping they'd say no because I feel they'd spend the whole hour pointing out all of my discrepancies) and they answered with an all capital YES.  Since I'm not very familiar with the Chapter of Faults, I only have my wild imagination that assumes the worst.

[SilentJoy]

Should you keep the conversation going if you're applying?  I'm currently in the application phase and I feel as if I should remain in contact (as they did say to keep in touch) but I don't really know what to say.  The Rev. Mother is taking over the correspondence now that I'm applying and she prefers to do so by phone.  I am kind of curious about the Chapter of Faults, I asked if they did practice that (hoping they'd say no because I feel they'd spend the whole hour pointing out all of my discrepancies) and they answered with an all capital YES.  Since I'm not very familiar with the Chapter of Faults, I only have my wild imagination that assumes the worst.

Hello!

This happened to me too; at first I was communicating with one of the Sisters, and after a certain point in the application process, Mother then took over, and she seems to prefer the telephone to letters.

 

If it is any help, I asked about the Chapter of Faults as one of my first questions (because I had a friend who had a bad experience of a similar practice in a non-Catholic convent). They said that the "faults" are minor imperfections, like dropping an egg or arriving late to prayers, NEVER actual sins, and Postulants are not permitted to attend.

 

(This is a Discalced Carmelite community, by the way.)

Edited January 4, 2014 by SilentJoy

[Freedom]

1990 Constitution?

[SilentJoy]

1990 Constitution?

Yes, I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that.

 

Also, to elaborate, I explained to them that my friend's bad experience involved a majority of the Sisters standing up and accusing her of things, and even of thoughts and intentions; I was told that this is never the case in their community. Usually the Zelatrix might mention one thing, and possibly one other Sister might chime in (or the 'accused' can accuse herself, if she remembers something that was overlooked). It is never a mob scene with everyone trying to get in their own little jab at you.

[TheresaThoma]

I would definitely keep in touch. 

Right now it would be appropriate to ask about how Christmas was for them. A short phone call would be good if you haven't called them for Christmas yet.

 

Ask about the Chapter of Faults, ask her to describe it a bit for you.