HisChildForever Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Why is Christmas planning such a headache? :think: I'm not talking about shopping but visiting family. Especially when you're in a relationship and you now have two families to figure out. It seems that one way or another you're going to be seeing one family more than the other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 We just don't travel for Christmas. My parents always go to my brother's house. His parents usually come down just after Christmas. It works out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Life's complicated. It probably may involve some compromise. If you do have to spend more time with one family this year and less the other, offer to change it up the following year. If you really can't help how time is allocated, that's just the way it goes. Hopefully both families will understand. Personally I come from a pretty laid back family and don't understand why people get so bent out of shape about family politics like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 Life's complicated. It probably may involve some compromise. If you do have to spend more time with one family this year and less the other, offer to change it up the following year. If you really can't help how time is allocated, that's just the way it goes. Hopefully both families will understand. Personally I come from a pretty laid back family and don't understand why people get so bent out of shape about family politics like that. Initially he was going to come by me to my extended family, but I just got word today that the family hosting is the family that lives 2 hours away. That creates issues because his Christmas morning is with his mother, sisters, and brothers-in-law, but when THEY all get together is dependent upon his sisters' husbands' families (because his sisters see their in-laws first). So he just wouldn't be at my house in time when my family is leaving, and it wouldn't be worth it for me to wait for him because then we'd barely spend 3 hours with my relatives. So essentially it's just easier for me to go to his relatives' in the afternoon. I'm just disappointed because I wanted him to be with my family. If only my relatives closer to home were hosting we could easily just go there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blazeingstar Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Why is Christmas planning such a headache? :think: I'm not talking about shopping but visiting family. Especially when you're in a relationship and you now have two families to figure out. It seems that one way or another you're going to be seeing one family more than the other. It's hard. Its very hard to find the balance. Our families are 7 and 2 hours away...fortunatly in the same direction. We are craming and figuring and doing our best for this year. Next year we will be married and have already decided our first Christmas will be just us. There is his necular family, his mom's side his dad's side, my family, my mom's side, my dad's side, my "home away from home" family. They are all getting so much less of us than they like. My family, being the farther one, is getting the least time, and my "home away from home" family is getting far less time, too, becuase I have nothing to give. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HisChildForever Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 It's hard. Its very hard to find the balance. Our families are 7 and 2 hours away...fortunatly in the same direction. We are craming and figuring and doing our best for this year. Next year we will be married and have already decided our first Christmas will be just us. There is his necular family, his mom's side his dad's side, my family, my mom's side, my dad's side, my "home away from home" family. They are all getting so much less of us than they like. My family, being the farther one, is getting the least time, and my "home away from home" family is getting far less time, too, becuase I have nothing to give. Yikes, I can't imagine what it must be like to have family as far as 7 hours. Thankfully neither of us have to worry about that. We have concrete ideas of what to do when we're married, it's just the next couple of years are going to be like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blazeingstar Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Life's complicated. It probably may involve some compromise. If you do have to spend more time with one family this year and less the other, offer to change it up the following year. If you really can't help how time is allocated, that's just the way it goes. Hopefully both families will understand. Personally I come from a pretty laid back family and don't understand why people get so bent out of shape about family politics like that. I think that even laid back families can feel injured when they get less time. My dad's family is laid back but even they are sad that we'll only be able to spend a couple hours with them. My mom's side understand, my mom, however, is sad that I won't be spending a week at my parents and is somewhat taming the green eyed monster becuase I will be with my fiancee's family far more....but I can tell she really is struggling with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blazeingstar Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Yikes, I can't imagine what it must be like to have family as far as 7 hours. Thankfully neither of us have to worry about that. We have concrete ideas of what to do when we're married, it's just the next couple of years are going to be like this. Yep, which is why I have my "home away" family so it can be hard to balance with everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ash Wednesday Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 (edited) I think that even laid back families can feel injured when they get less time. My dad's family is laid back but even they are sad that we'll only be able to spend a couple hours with them. My mom's side understand, my mom, however, is sad that I won't be spending a week at my parents and is somewhat taming the green eyed monster becuase I will be with my fiancee's family far more....but I can tell she really is struggling with that. I come from an international marriage, I get to see my family in person roughly every two years, so... yeah. When I mean "laid back" I don't mean "don't care." Edited December 16, 2013 by Ash Wednesday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Archaeology cat Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 We didnt have a Christmas in the same country as either parents for the first 5 years of our marriage, so that solved things. ;) we did travel for one Christmas (our first one in the US), and I will not repeat that, escecially given that my youngest does not travel well. I do miss my cousins, but they're all spread out now anyway. I haven't even seen my brother in 4+ years, unfortunately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherie Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Yeah, I'm looking forward to the time that we can just have Christmas at home and the onus will be on the other family members to travel to us; or, we'll be close enough to family that it's just a trip around the corner (which is our hopeful eventual goal, but we're not sure it will ever happen). As it is, my husband's grandparents have a huge Christmas Eve gathering that we can't miss because we're not sure they will be with us much longer, and they feel snubbed very easily. But that means we can't ever be with my own parents for Christmas, which hurts them. It's hard. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 (edited) http://youtu.be/P8nzbUR9dgI Edited December 16, 2013 by Light and Truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatherineM Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Could be worse. My parents are deceased and my mother in law hates me so much she tried to have me deported as a terrorist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anastasia13 Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 (edited) Could be worse. My parents are deceased and my mother in law hates me so much she tried to have me deported as a terrorist. Insha'Allah! That was supposed to be my job. Edited December 16, 2013 by Light and Truth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicsAreKewl Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Could be worse. My parents are deceased and my mother in law hates me so much she tried to have me deported as a terrorist. haha, i can relate. my relative thought i was one for a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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