Conformity In Mass

[littlePaula]

I don't know - probably you've already talked about this, but searching for it I didn't quite find what I was looking for. So, please pardon me if I am repeating an old thread.

 

There is a really great thing about being catholic: wherever in this world you go to mass you kind of feel at home. You know what is going on even if you don't understand a single word. But still every parish has it's own way of doing things. Often just tiny little things.

I realized for example that while in Germany people who sit in front first go to Communion, in France those sitting in the back go first. That is one point I guess everyone adapts to as soon as he figured it out. But there are other rituals I don't know what to do about. Should I do as I always do, or should I adept to the parish where I am at that moment.

 

Some examples: I've got the feeling that in Belgium no one ever kneels down during mass - that is a pretty tough one for me. In most other countries it has been a matter of when exactly does the parish kneel and for how long.

Another thing is: what to do with your own hands during Our Father and during listening to the Gospel. Folding them, lifting them up, letting them down...

I'm sure you can think about other little rituals that differ in different parishes.

 

So, what do you do? Always sticking to your way of celebrating the mass, or really engaging in the rituals of the people that are around you and celebrate with you?

[blazeingstar]

Since 90% of these aren't controlled by ruberics (kneeling is, however) there is not much too be done.  Not even the strictes TLM ruberics say how people are to come up to communion is guided.  I've seen it change from parish to parish in the US even in the same town.

[littlePaula]

That's the point. There are no ruberics. There is no right or wrong. That's why I'm curious about how you handle it.

I do like some conformity during mass. There is a certain beauty in everybody doing the same at the same time. But there are also some tiny things I love to do as I always did, or at one point learned.

 

Maybe it's just something I'm wondering about because I'm quite often at different places in different churches lately.

[blazeingstar]

That's the point. There are no ruberics. There is no right or wrong. That's why I'm curious about how you handle it.

I do like some conformity during mass. There is a certain beauty in everybody doing the same at the same time. But there are also some tiny things I love to do as I always did, or at one point learned.

 

Maybe it's just something I'm wondering about because I'm quite often at different places in different churches lately.

 

Well there are ruberics about kneeling so that is quite incorrect.

 

However, traditions are traditions and people are people.  The whole reason the church saw the wisdom in the Ordinary Form mass was to allow for people to have and observe their own customs and culture and not to have the Mass be foreign, formated and rigid and to prevent situations where someone might try to legislate every move.

[ToJesusMyHeart]

I don't know - probably you've already talked about this, but searching for it I didn't quite find what I was looking for. So, please pardon me if I am repeating an old thread.

 

Another thing is: what to do with your own hands during Our Father and during listening to the Gospel. Folding them, lifting them up, letting them down...

I'm sure you can think about other little rituals that differ in different parishes.

 

So, what do you do? Always sticking to your way of celebrating the mass, or really engaging in the rituals of the people that are around you and celebrate with you?

 

I do what helps me to pray most attentively. For me, that means folded hands during the Our Father and the Gospel, bowing my head at the names of Jesus and Mary, replying in Latin in my head or silently, while saying the English replies out loud, and other little personal prayer movements that engage me more and foster my own reverence and communication with God. My parish holds hands during the Our Father, but I elect to keep my hands to myself because it is what helps me pray more truly. 

[blazeingstar]

I do what helps me to pray most attentively. For me, that means folded hands during the Our Father and the Gospel, bowing my head at the names of Jesus and Mary, replying in Latin in my head or silently, while saying the English replies out loud, and other little personal prayer movements that engage me more and foster my own reverence and communication with God. My parish holds hands during the Our Father, but I elect to keep my hands to myself because it is what helps me pray more truly. 

 

My parish (and most I've been to) encourages hand holding during the "Our Father" which I will fold my hands and give anyone (even a child) a dirty look if they try to hold mine.  It is quite clearly against the ruberics and incorrect.  They also sing it, which is in no way acceptable.

[Basilisa Marie]

 I think little customs that aren't prescribed by the form are fine, as long as they enhance the meaning of what's going on and aren't treated as if they are required.  This is where I think most communities that like to do the extra stuff get it wrong - they act like their extras are actually required, and that's not right. 

 

When it's a local custom that involves the community (like starting the communion line from the back - which I think is kind of cool because it's a solid reminder of how "the first shall be last and the last shall be first"), I think people should adopt a "when in Rome" kind of policy. If you're a visitor and doing something different would cause a distraction, then I think you should suck it up and do the same.  But if doing it differently won't cause a distraction, (like kneeling after communion, etc) I say go for it.  Like Tojesusmyheart said, individual prayer customs can be a great thing to help you focus and pray more effectively. 

[ToJesusMyHeart]

My parish (and most I've been to) encourages hand holding during the "Our Father" which I will fold my hands and give anyone (even a child) a dirty look if they try to hold mine.  It is quite clearly against the ruberics and incorrect.  They also sing it, which is in no way acceptable.

 

I think I smell a bit of sarcasm here, but if not, I certainly hope nobody would give a dirty look to anybody else during Holy Mass. Especially because right after the Pater we exchange the sign of peace. For myself, I simply close my eyes and fold my hands. There is no controversy about it. 

[blazeingstar]

I think I smell a bit of sarcasm here, but if not, I certainly hope nobody would give a dirty look to anybody else during Holy Mass. Especially because right after the Pater we exchange the sign of peace. For myself, I simply close my eyes and fold my hands. There is no controversy about it. 

 

If someone elbows me to hold their hand I have, and most certinally will give them a dirty look.  It is not a licit litiurgical posture.

[ToJesusMyHeart]

That's happened once to me, and I just clasped my hands all the tighter and squished my eyes all the shutter. 

[blazeingstar]

That's happened once to me, and I just clasped my hands all the tighter and squished my eyes all the shutter. 

 

I find my way far more effective and will inevitiably make them think twice about attempting such nonsense again.

[LouisvilleFan]

Some examples: I've got the feeling that in Belgium no one ever kneels down during mass - that is a pretty tough one for me. In most other countries it has been a matter of when exactly does the parish kneel and for how long.

Another thing is: what to do with your own hands during Our Father and during listening to the Gospel. Folding them, lifting them up, letting them down...

I'm sure you can think about other little rituals that differ in different parishes.

 

So, what do you do? Always sticking to your way of celebrating the mass, or really engaging in the rituals of the people that are around you and celebrate with you?

 

Generally I'll do what others are doing unless I cannot in good conscience. However, in those situations I don't want to become a distraction either, even if it seems like everyone else is already distracted. If everyone is standing and breaking out the kneeler will be a distraction to the people around me, then I'll prayerfully remain standing. I don't reach out to hold hands during the Our Father, but I don't turn down my family or whoever seems especially eager. If the sharing of peace becomes a social hour, we can be friendly and share peace without wandering around half the church. It's usually not our place to police the liturgy (and that rarely goes over well) but we can be a faithful witness and respect the liturgy.

[Ice_nine]

If someone elbows me to hold their hand I have, and most certinally will give them a dirty look.  It is not a licit litiurgical posture.

 

 after this and the santa thread I'm beginning to wonder if you're just a tad bit sour as a person in general. Maybe it wouldn't kill you to lighten up eh?

[blazeingstar]

 after this and the santa thread I'm beginning to wonder if you're just a tad bit sour as a person in general. Maybe it wouldn't kill you to lighten up eh?

 

Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't.  I have a fiancee, friends, friends kids who adore me, my fiancee's family just loves me, I am able to be decently poplular in the office and when I do attend a church event people know me and want me to sit with them so why should I change?

[Basilisa Marie]

I don't know, elbowing is pretty darn rude. I'd give them a stink-eye-like glance if I hadn't had my coffee yet that morning. Like I said before, it's not in the rubrics, so they can't make you do it. 

 

But if it was an old person I'd probably humor them, though that's just me.