Santa Claus

[havok579257]

I will say "good job" but so far that has worked for all the children I've ever know either on a personal or professional setting.  If the child asks if it's pretty I will redirect with the truth.  If they get nasty and persist I ask them what they think.  If they persist at that I tell them I'm not an art teacher.

 

 

this is beyond words.  that a catholic parent would treat their child this bad.  know this, if you act like this toward your child, more than likely(not guaranteed) your child will grow up having major psychological issues toward you.  children need to be encouraged, to be loved, to be told they are good, to be told what they do is good.  children do not need to have their parents refuse to tell them their work or them themselves are not pretty/beautiful.  I honestly hope you never have a girl who is large and asks you if she is fat because you would tell your daughter she is fat.  It will destroy her to know that he parent thinks she is fact and in fact says she is fat. 

[blazeingstar]

this is beyond words.  that a catholic parent would treat their child this bad.  know this, if you act like this toward your child, more than likely(not guaranteed) your child will grow up having major psychological issues toward you.  children need to be encouraged, to be loved, to be told they are good, to be told what they do is good.  children do not need to have their parents refuse to tell them their work or them themselves are not pretty/beautiful.  I honestly hope you never have a girl who is large and asks you if she is fat because you would tell your daughter she is fat.  It will destroy her to know that he parent thinks she is fact and in fact says she is fat. 

 

I said I'd say good job.

 

And many children have been sucessfully raised on this.

 

Children don't fart  rainbows and lollypops.  If they do a good job then can be congraduated on that.  If it is not a good job, than that can be known, too.  I know there have been many studies on just how messed up over praised children are.  And its far more than damaging than was first thought.

 

If my child was overweight clinically than I'd work with him or her to get their weight down to normal or what was healthy for them.  I would not harp on or belittle the child, nor would I tease.  If my child asked me if he or she was overweight, I'd say "Yes, but we will work on it together".

[Archaeology cat]

Infants don't have an imagination.  Toddlers may have some, but pre-verbal they barely grasp concepts. And I've found that preschoolers do better when they are being trained for work...either doing chores, cooking, cleaning, laundry, or building with constructive toys.  Parent/adult involvement of course.
 
I know a 7yo who can make bread from scratch.  I admire that family and think that their way is far better than those of families who still wash their 27yo's laundry.
 
No, the children know they are playing pretend, that I think their pretend is a nice game but will not participate.  I reinforce that it is pretend rather than encouraging and prepetuating any falsehoods.

Maybe my kids are just odd, but they've had great imaginations from a very early age. My daughter was verbal from an early age, so she was able to tell us about it. M sons haven't been as verbal, but my youngest definitely joins in with the imaginative play. He's 13 months.

But why does it have to be that either kids pretend and imagine, or they learn household skills? My kids are quite imaginative, but also help me cook. My 6-year-old makes French onion soup from scratch, including slicing the onions (with help/supervision). They help me sew, knit, clean, etc. playing pretend with them doesn't keep them from learning that.

God bless

[blazeingstar]

Maybe my kids are just odd, but they've had great imaginations from a very early age. My daughter was verbal from an early age, so she was able to tell us about it. M sons haven't been as verbal, but my youngest definitely joins in with the imaginative play. He's 13 months.

But why does it have to be that either kids pretend and imagine, or they learn household skills? My kids are quite imaginative, but also help me cook. My 6-year-old makes French onion soup from scratch, including slicing the onions (with help/supervision). They help me sew, knit, clean, etc. playing pretend with them doesn't keep them from learning that.

God bless

 

Again,  you can raise your children your way.  I will raise the children that I nanny and friend and my own children another.

 

I didn't say that they can do either or, if they want my help and attention they will do things with a tangible benefit.  If they want to play and be childish, they can manage that well enough on their own.

[Archaeology cat]

That assumes there's no benefit to playing pretend. Yes, my kids can (and do) play pretend on their own. They're doing so now so I can try to nurse Leo to sleep. But I will say that I get to know them much better by playing with them in that way. It certainly isn't the only way to do things, but I can see nothing negative in it.

[CrossCuT]

There have been studies on this (see the link to an article I provided a million pages back) saying that exercising the imagination for children is very healthy and good for development. The brain is still something that needs to be exercised like everything else and children do that by playing and make believe. Its similar to how animals play as well. Lion cubs will fake wrestle with each other and even while it seems like harmless play, they are developing skills that they will utilize later in life. 

[Archaeology cat]

There have been studies on this (see the link to an article I provided a million pages back) saying that exercising the imagination for children is very healthy and good for development. The brain is still something that needs to be exercised like everything else and children do that by playing and make believe. Its similar to how animals play as well. Lion cubs will fake wrestle with each other and even while it seems like harmless play, they are developing skills that they will utilize later in life.

:like:

[Lilllabettt]

Adults use imagination every day - its counterfactual thought. Doctors diagnose by imagining  what could be wrong with their patients, engineers imagine how a building might look,  mechanics imagine what parts will fix a car, artists imagine what they will sculpt,  in prayer when we read the Gospel we imagine ourselves there, students imagine when they learn the history of the Civil War...

 

When children pretend they are practicing the skills they'll need in these careers and more. When they role play they are practicing perspective taking and imagining what others might feel. By age 5 they have developed a theory of mind -- the understanding that people may have thoughts, beliefs, and ideas different from their own ---  which is the beginning of the sunset of egocentrism in children. Its critical to social well being. 

 

so ... Pretending IS work - very practical and valuable work which will continue to be put to practical use in adulthood.

Edited December 8, 2013 by Lilllabettt

[NotreDame]

What does believing in Santa have to do with using the imagination?

[PhuturePriest]

Kids at my church were richer-than-thou  (mercedes for confirmation gifts) I don't think holier ever entered into their minds.

 

 

 

Absolutely not on helping them pretend Mass.  Absoultely yes, it is benieth me.

They will learn how to cook and clean, to sew and to build.  They will get their vocabulary that way.  The only pretending I ever did with the 2 year old I nannied was pretending she was actually sweeping the floor with her little broom.  Of course she wasn't really sweeping, but it did train her to eventually use the broom.  There is no reason to play pretend when life is full of work.  They can play pretend to be out of my way, but I find children often love learning real skills and are eager to give up plastic tea cups to learn how to cook or to knit or to do something of actual value...even at 3 or 4

 

 

Your life, not mine.  Your kids.  Not mine.

 

[Lilllabettt]

 

NotreDame

Posted Today, 10:49 PM

What does believing in Santa have to do with using the imagination

 

So ... referencing what  I said earlier -- many children "believe" in Santa not because they deep down believe he is real, but because it is "fun" to believe in Santa.  It is a giant game of pretend in which the entire world plays along. Children often have to beg parents to play pretend with them (blazings future kids, for example) ... kids who make believe in Santa get NORAD tracking his sleigh. That is a pretty spiffy game of let's pretend.

 

Recently, a post-leukemic child named Miles Scott dressed up as Bat Kid and defeated a series of bad guys, rescued a damsel in distress, etc. all accompanied by Batman. The mayor of San Francisco, the city newspaper, the baseball team, and the President of the United States all "played along."  I promise you, at no point did Miles believe, deep down, that he was really and truly batkid. But he had a blast pretending that he did.  It was a giant game of lets pretend, made kickass by all the grownups who joined in.

Edited December 8, 2013 by Lilllabettt

[CrossCuT]

What does believing in Santa have to do with using the imagination?

 

Just the way the conversation has progressed is all. But its all related if you feel like tackling the previous pages. :P

[NotreDame]

So ... referencing what  I said earlier -- many children "believe" in Santa not because they deep down believe he is real, but because it is "fun" to believe in Santa.  It is a giant game of pretend in which the entire world plays along. Children often have to beg parents to play pretend with them (blazings future kids, for example) ... kids who make believe in Santa get NORAD tracking his sleigh. That is a pretty spiffy game of let's pretend.

 

Recently, a post-leukemic child named Miles Scott dressed up as Bat Kid and defeated a series of bad guys, rescued a damsel in distress, etc. all accompanied by Batman. The mayor of San Francisco, the city newspaper, the baseball team, and the President of the United States all "played along."  I promise you, at no point did Miles believe, deep down, that he was really and truly batkid. But he had a blast pretending that he did.  It was a giant game of lets pretend, made kickass by all the grownups who joined in.

 

Are you sure they are pretending?  I never believed in Santa, but the friends and cousins I had that did believe in him didn't seem to be pretending.  It was my impression they genuinely believed.  I remember they were so genuinely sold on the idea that I was very careful not to burst their bubble.

[PhuturePriest]

So ... referencing what  I said earlier -- many children "believe" in Santa not because they deep down believe he is real, but because it is "fun" to believe in Santa.  It is a giant game of pretend in which the entire world plays along. Children often have to beg parents to play pretend with them (blazings future kids, for example) ... kids who make believe in Santa get NORAD tracking his sleigh. That is a pretty spiffy game of let's pretend.

 

Recently, a post-leukemic child named Miles Scott dressed up as Bat Kid and defeated a series of bad guys, rescued a damsel in distress, etc. all accompanied by Batman. The mayor of San Francisco, the city newspaper, the baseball team, and the President of the United States all "played along."  I promise you, at no point did Miles believe, deep down, that he was really and truly batkid. But he had a blast pretending that he did.  It was a giant game of lets pretend, made kickass by all the grownups who joined in.

 

The year I stop using NORAD to track Santa will be the day the little child in me dies. As it is, I still love jumping on trampolines and beds, I still use NORAD to track Santa, and I adamantly refuse to stop.

 

But seriously, if in the case God has chosen a poor and unfortunate girl to marry me and (Dare I say it) breed with me, I want to have fun with my kids and play with them. One thing I always wanted when I was a kid was my dad to make time to play with me more, but he was always so busy with work that he wasn't able to. We both missed out on what would have been great memories if he had played with me, and I wouldn't want to do the same with my children. Besides, since when are you ever too old to not have fun when playing games with children? I would to this day readily play G.I. Joe's with little kids just as readily as I would play tea party with a bunch of little girls.

[NotreDame]

Just the way the conversation has progressed is all. But its all related if you feel like tackling the previous pages. :P

I did... and when I read the thread from the beginning all I see is blazingsaddles painting himself into a corner.