Santa Claus

[Lilllabettt]

I've never met anyone who told their child Santa was a pretend game. 

 

I really don't care if my children don't have magic or how pathetic that will make their childhoods.  Children survived for thousands of years withouth being lied to.

 

Well, you could be the first person you know then.  You could say "Santa Clause is an imaginary friend " (kids love this.) Usually they have to beg adults to "make-believe" with them;  Santa is the one time the whole world joins in.

 

My parents never told me it was pretend, they, to use your verbiage,  "lied" to me about whether Santa was real until the very end. I saw these so called lies as them taking their "turn" in the game and I would have been quite annoyed if they had quit playing and broken the rules of the game by telling the "truth." The reason  I was asking if he was real to begin with was because I wanted to play.

 

So will you never "lie"? Really? Even if your kid wants to play cowboy and you to be a horsie? Then when your child comes to "check" if you are a horse (they always check)  and asks "are you a horse now, Mom?" you will say very solemnly, "no child, Mommy is not a horsie."

 

 

 

Santa Claus is  a disgusting comercialized figure who is quite creepy when you think about it.

 

 

erm ...  is it possible you maybe have some hang-ups from your bitter childhood experience?  I mean, you seem to really "hate" Santa

Edited December 6, 2013 by Lilllabettt

[CrossCuT]

I found this article that touches on the topic. Neurological development and child psychology are not my areas of study so its difficult for me to comment on it in any substantial manor other than personal experience and opinion. 

 

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052748703344704574610002061841322

 

 

 

What Should Parents Do?

It is important but not necessary for parents to encourage fantasy play in their children, says Dr. Woolley. If the child already has an imaginary friend, for instance, parents should follow their children's lead and offer encouragement if they are comfortable doing so, she says. Similarly, with Santa, if a child seems excited by the idea, parents can encourage it. But if parents choose not to introduce or encourage the belief in fictitious characters, they should look for other ways to encourage their children's imaginations, such as by playing dress-up or reading fiction.

If a child asks if the Tooth Fairy or Santa is real, parents might want to assess their child's level of doubt. If the doubts appear strong then the child might be ready and it is time for the truth. Ideally, the child will find out for him or herself, like a little scientist, so parents might ask, "Is there something you saw or heard that makes you think Santa isn't real?" and "What do you think?"

"You want to find a balance to lets [children] be open to possibility but also to question," says Dr. Woolley.

Fantasy play is correlated with other positive attributes. In preschool children, for example, those who have imaginary friends are more creative, have greater social understanding and are better at taking the perspective of others, according to Marjorie Taylor, a psychology professor at the University of Oregon and author of the book "Imaginary Companions and the Children Who Create Them."

Imaginary friends can also be used to help children cope with stress, Dr. Taylor says. "This is a strength of children, their ability to pretend," she says. "They can fix the problem with their imagination."

 

[Lilllabettt]

I found this article that touches on the topic. Neurological development and child psychology are not my areas of study so its difficult for me to comment on it in any substantial manor other than personal experience and opinion. 

 

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052748703344704574610002061841322

 

 

Those two things are my areas of study. Paul Harris is my professor. The article is a good one.

 

[CrossCuT]

Those two things are my areas of study. Paul Harris is my professor. The article is a good one.

 

Thats amesome! Well at least we have an expert in the room! I have always been a very imaginative child, and its something I still hold onto when I want to tap into some creativity. 

 

Its difficult to make sweeping generalizations about the choice to indulge a child or not because every child is different, but I felt the approach from the article was a good one. Basically, just know your kid. Be observant and try to feel it out. Just like the article said, if their doubt is high, maybe its ok to tell them the truth, but if they are very keen on believing in Santa, we should go along with it. 

 

When my aunt told my cousin that Santa wasnt real (I dont remember what age he was) he was very upset. He cried for a little while but she said that he would be their helper when putting out the presents for his younger siblings under the tree on Christmas Eve. So even while he was upset when he found out, he was excited with his new responsibility to make the magic happen for his younger siblings. 

Edited December 6, 2013 by CrossCuT

[blazeingstar]

Well, you could be the first person you know then.  You could say "Santa Clause is an imaginary friend " (kids love this.) Usually they have to beg adults to "make-believe" with them;  Santa is the one time the whole world joins in.

 

Santa will be a game that other parents play on their children.  My children will not be a part of this.

 

 

My parents never told me it was pretend, they, to use your verbiage,  "lied" to me about whether Santa was real until the very end. I saw these so called lies as them taking their "turn" in the game and I would have been quite annoyed if they had quit playing and broken the rules of the game by telling the "truth." The reason  I was asking  to begin with was because I wanted to play.

 

Well, I won't let my kids skip brusing their teeth becusae they don't want to.

 

 

 

 

So will you never "lie"? Really? Even if your kid wants to play cowboy and you to be a horsie? Then when your child comes to "check" if you a horse (they always check) 

and asks "are you a horse now, Mom?" you will say very solemnly, "no child, Mommy is not a horsie.

 

Errr ummm yes.  I have nannied and babysat and I have never given into such fantacies.  I can't see my fiancee doing so either.

 

 

 

 

 

erm ...  is it possible you maybe have some hang-ups from your bitter childhood experience?  I mean, you seem to really "hate" Santa

I am bright and fun with children.  They do seem to love me. But I do not get there by lying.  I captivated 15 children between the ages of 2-12 by myself for 2 hours with about $10 worth of trinkets and 4 hours of preperation.  They used their own imaginations to see pretend creatures but they knew it was pretend and I did not lie.

[blazeingstar]

I found this article that touches on the topic. Neurological development and child psychology are not my areas of study so its difficult for me to comment on it in any substantial manor other than personal experience and opinion. 

 

http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052748703344704574610002061841322

 

Neroulogical development my arse.  I won't be doing any such thing and think all of this is psycobabble.  If my kids want to pretend to be an animal so be it.  But I won't be encouringing such looacy, nor do I encourge it in the children I watch.  If they can fix their problems with imagiation they need to lear it is their imagination and not reality fixing the problem.

 

Those two things are my areas of study. Paul Harris is my professor. The article is a good one.

 

Meh, dosn't make me believe it any more.

 

Thats amesome! Well at least we have an expert in the room! I have always been a very imaginative child, and its something I still hold onto when I want to tap into some creativity. 

 

Its difficult to make sweeping generalizations about the choice to indulge a child or not because every child is different, but I felt the approach from the article was a good one. Basically, just know your kid. Be observant and try to feel it out. Just like the article said, if their doubt is high, maybe its ok to tell them the truth, but if they are very keen on believing in Santa, we should go along with it. 

 

When my aunt told my cousin that Santa wasnt real (I dont remember what age he was) he was very upset. He cried for a little while but she said that he would be their helper when putting out the presents for his younger siblings under the tree on Christmas Eve. So even while he was upset when he found out, he was excited with his new responsibility to make the magic happen for his younger siblings. 

 

I was also an imaginative child, but I won't be encoraging lies.  I will especally not be encouraging older children to lie to the younger ones.

[CrossCuT]

Whelp, thats totally youre choice. But Neurology and Psychology are not psychobabble. :|

 

Research and studies in these areas help increase the quality of living for so many by coming out with new treatments for those who have disabilities or disorders.

[blazeingstar]

Whelp, thats totally youre choice. But Neurology and Psychology are not psychobabble. :|

 

Research and studies in these areas help increase the quality of living for so many by coming out with new treatments for those who have disabilities or disorders.

 

But really, the "fostering of immagination" has been taken way too out of control.  This is why we have 25 year olds who are perfectly fine playing at life and living in their childhood bedroom.

[Lilllabettt]

I assure you that children have been playing pretend since the beginning of children.

In fact the absence of pretend play is associated with psychopathology, most prominently, autism.

The decision about whether to pretend about Santa is a personal choice, but whatever your decision I hope you will give your future children the free reign of their imagination. It is so important for development. I could get specific about how if you would like.

Edited December 6, 2013 by Lilllabettt

[CrossCuT]

But really, the "fostering of immagination" has been taken way too out of control.  This is why we have 25 year olds who are perfectly fine playing at life and living in their childhood bedroom.

 

Actually, I really doubt the imagination is what is confining people to their rooms and making them unsocial. There are real psychological disorders that prevent people from interacting socially in a way we view as a norm. In that scenario, I believe the imagination is their comfort but not their driving force. 

[havok579257]

man, you have some horrible hang up about your childhood because you feel your parents slighted you on presents. 

 

so no pretend(lies) for your children.  what a boring life.  they can't make forts or play toys or anything that involves playing pretend because to you, that would be lying to your kids.  sad.

[blazeingstar]

I assure you that children have been playing pretend since the beginning of children.

In fact the absence of pretend play is associated with psychopathology, most prominently, autism.

The decision about whether to pretend about Santa is a personal choice, but whatever your decision I hope you will give your future children the free reign of their imagination. It is so important for development. I could get specific about how if you would like.

 

They can do it if they want.  I will not be privvy to it.  I've been reading alot of books about how children acted in the early 1900's and they were not encouraged to be so silly as characters like Ramona or Judy Moody and it seems like they were much better off.

 

Children do play pretend but I am opposed to stooping to that level.

 

Actually, I really doubt the imagination is what is confining people to their rooms and making them unsocial. There are real psychological disorders that prevent people from interacting socially in a way we view as a norm. In that scenario, I believe the imagination is their comfort but not their driving force. 

 

I'm not talking about the unsocal type, I'm talking about the typical went to college had a good time, dosn't bothor getting a good job type (or even those who do).  A scarry amount of my 24-30yo co workers still live at home whilst drawing a salary thats almost enough to singlehandedly support a family.  Not for financial reasons but becuase home is more comfortable.

[blazeingstar]

man, you have some horrible hang up about your childhood because you feel your parents slighted you on presents. 

 

so no pretend(lies) for your children.  what a boring life.  they can't make forts or play toys or anything that involves playing pretend because to you, that would be lying to your kids.  sad.

 

Well, its not like my fiancee dosn't support me on this.  His reasons are that children shold never be lied to and he had a wonderful childhood and dosn't feel lied to in the least.  Just becuase I was smarter than my parents and figured things out at an early age dosn't mean that I should perpetuate the myth as I will likely be on par with my children or smarter than them.

 

And thanks for condemning what will be my parenting style.  They can play all they want.  Play is good for children.  I will not join in if they expect me to be a horse or a monster or a maid or any other such sillyness.  That would be a lie.  Like I said before I will teach them that they can pretend and that it is pretend and made up and never real.  Saying it is a real is a lie and therefore sinful.

[CrossCuT]

I'm not talking about the unsocal type, I'm talking about the typical went to college had a good time, dosn't bothor getting a good job type (or even those who do).  A scarry amount of my 24-30yo co workers still live at home whilst drawing a salary thats almost enough to singlehandedly support a family.  Not for financial reasons but becuase home is more comfortable.

 

You realize that you just referenced a really bad stereotype as some condition?

 

Do you realize why people act that way? Not only is there a very palpable and understandable reason behind such behavior (depression, anxiety, autism, asperger, and whatever else...etc) but you have to understand the social and economic differences that the college age generation is growing up in. Its much different than the ones their parents grew up in. 

[blazeingstar]

You realize that you just referenced a really bad stereotype as some condition?

 

Do you realize why people act that way? Not only is there a very palpable and understandable reason behind such behavior (depression, anxiety, autism, asperger, and whatever else...etc) but you have to understand the social and economic differences that the college age generation is growing up in. Its much different than the ones their parents grew up in. 

 

Believe me, its endemic in my workplace.  If someone can function for 40 hours, drive their cars, party it up with friends, go out every Friday night, afford to get nice clothing and have a serious signfigant other, then I really don't find it appropriate that they still live with their parents.  Most admit it is becuase it's nice to have someone to cook and do laundry...and yes, I have several co workers to whom parents still do their laundry.