Talk About Liturgical Abuse...

[TheresaThoma]

My turn to vent:

 

Everyone in my department knows I'm a Catholic, because I had to announce that I go to Mass every day to get schedule accommodations. Apparently, though, they don't connect "daily Mass" with "faithful to the Church". Instead, they think "Catholic in academia" and assume I must be a liberal. It doesn't help, I'm sure, that I'm female and my Master's thesis was on nuns. So I must be a feminist, right? There is actually a communication scholar who did some nun research and concluded that "Communities of Benedictine sisters use communication practices to organize in a manner consistent with their spiritual foundations. In doing so, they simultaneously create points of conflict with the larger Roman Catholic Church, and provide outlets for the negotiation of that conflict." (Hoffman, 2007, p. 188). I'm sure St. Benedict is real proud of their "consistency with their spiritual foundations".

 

Needless to say, I am not like Hoffman. I recruited strictly from the CMSWR and reviewed every community I sent a participation letter to for my thesis and ruled out all of the non-habited ones.

 

But my colleagues seem to assume that I am like Hoffman, so every time someone in my department reads an article online about how the Pope is two seconds away from approving homosexual marriage or a bunch of women "priests" just got ordained somewhere, they come tell me about it, all excited, urging me to look for the story. The latest one was an NPR story about how some Catholic school completely overhauled its curriculum to be 100% in accordance with feminist pedagogy. I had no idea what to say, so I just let the elevator door close. Thankfully, the person happily reporting the subjection of an entire school of innocent Catholic children to the outrage of feminism was on the other side of it.

 

I'm never sure how to react to these people. Half of me wants to say, "I'm one of the bad, judgmental, intolerant Catholics. Get away from me." The other half of me just wants to cry. They relate these stories in a tone that suggests they think I'm "ethnically Catholic" (I don't dance, sing, or drink—how ethnically Catholic am I?), unable to wrench myself loose from the clutches of the Church on account of my family's generations-long attachment to it (I converted last year), and as if they're just joyful messengers of the news of my deeply liberal soul's longed-for, inevitable liberation from Her "outdated", "intolerant", "arbitrary" rules (PUKE).

 

 

How should I explain to them when all I want them to do is leave me alone...?

As far as the stuff with the Pope you can just politely but firmly say "Wow, thats interesting but from what he said in (insert appropriate interview/reference here) it looks like he is staying true to the Church's teaching on (insert issue here). You don't have to make it complicated just keep it truthful, polite and short. Don't feel like you have to be an expert on everything the Pope says, just keep a couple references "in your back pocket". Eventually they will get the point. They may also not know much about Catholicism and this is their only way of "connecting" with you and they may just be curious. Present them with what we really believe and see what happens. Many will probably stop bugging you but possibly a couple might just ask some deeper better questions.

Pray for them.

[Basilisa Marie]

My turn to vent:

 

Everyone in my department knows I'm a Catholic, because I had to announce that I go to Mass every day to get schedule accommodations. Apparently, though, they don't connect "daily Mass" with "faithful to the Church". Instead, they think "Catholic in academia" and assume I must be a liberal. It doesn't help, I'm sure, that I'm female and my Master's thesis was on nuns. So I must be a feminist, right? There is actually a communication scholar who did some nun research and concluded that "Communities of Benedictine sisters use communication practices to organize in a manner consistent with their spiritual foundations. In doing so, they simultaneously create points of conflict with the larger Roman Catholic Church, and provide outlets for the negotiation of that conflict." (Hoffman, 2007, p. 188). I'm sure St. Benedict is real proud of their "consistency with their spiritual foundations".

 

Needless to say, I am not like Hoffman. I recruited strictly from the CMSWR and reviewed every community I sent a participation letter to for my thesis and ruled out all of the non-habited ones.

 

But my colleagues seem to assume that I am like Hoffman, so every time someone in my department reads an article online about how the Pope is two seconds away from approving homosexual marriage or a bunch of women "priests" just got ordained somewhere, they come tell me about it, all excited, urging me to look for the story. The latest one was an NPR story about how some Catholic school completely overhauled its curriculum to be 100% in accordance with feminist pedagogy. I had no idea what to say, so I just let the elevator door close. Thankfully, the person happily reporting the subjection of an entire school of innocent Catholic children to the outrage of feminism was on the other side of it.

 

I'm never sure how to react to these people. Half of me wants to say, "I'm one of the bad, judgmental, intolerant Catholics. Get away from me." The other half of me just wants to cry. They relate these stories in a tone that suggests they think I'm "ethnically Catholic" (I don't dance, sing, or drink—how ethnically Catholic am I?), unable to wrench myself loose from the clutches of the Church on account of my family's generations-long attachment to it (I converted last year), and as if they're just joyful messengers of the news of my deeply liberal soul's longed-for, inevitable liberation from Her "outdated", "intolerant", "arbitrary" rules (PUKE).

 

 

How should I explain to them when all I want them to do is leave me alone...?

 

I have very similar colleagues from my MA program. The way I react to these situations is to give my own take on it - I mean, that's why they're telling me, right? Even if they think my perspective will be the same. So what I do is say "Actually, that's not what's going on. Francis is definitely calling for a deeper theology of womanhood, but it's not about changing the priesthood rules" in a fairly positive, matter of fact way. 

In my experience with liberal feministy Catholics, almost all of them have some very formational experiences of being treated wrongly by someone in a position of Church authority. For many of them, if they were raised Catholic it's from watching a whole sequence of bad pastoral decisions. Maybe they had a grumpy priest, maybe he was having a bad day, maybe they weren't listening...regardless, all of these people I've encountered are coming from a place of either hurt or misunderstanding. So I view it as my job as a more conservative feministy Catholic to listen to what they're saying and offer my own perspective, in an attempt to show them the truth as best as I can. 

It gets really, really frustrating, especially when you are or even just feel like the only one.  I get just wanting to be left alone.  However, I also think you have some responsibility to do the best you can to represent the Church. It's like what Francis talks about in his new apostolic exhortation - joyful evangelization. It's not about being a happy perky Catholic all the time. It's about standing up for your faith and presenting the peaceful joy it brings you as it is. You sound like you're in a unique position where they might actually be open to listening to what you've got to say, when these situations come up. Who else is going to show these people the truth? They certainly aren't going to get it in their own cadre of identical opinions.  When you're feeling up to it, step up your game and say what you think about it, in a neutral or positive, not overly confrontational way. 

Sure, they might write you off.  But don't make my mistake and assume that they'll hate you for being "ignorant" or whatever.  I know I should have given my colleagues more credit. They were all perfectly capable of respecting the fact that I didn't agree, and were even hurt that I thought that they'd hate me for it.  Give them a chance, they might actually listen, and might actually respect the fact that you're the "token conservative." 

They don't call it the Church Militant because you get to live an easy, peaceful, non-confrontational existence. :) 

[CrossCuT]

I went to a mass with a friend at this tiny room in what looked like a rec center. The priest was questionable. In his homily he talked about how the church should allow the members to elect bishops and popes so that we could see the changes we WANT in the church.