Relatives...

[southern california guy]

good for you. But I still think you are crying over spilt milk and need to let this go. Its so far beyond you that you need to forget that that money ever was earmarked for you. If a couple of thousands of dollars gives an old man his peace, then let him. You are capable of earning your own money and do not have the wound of being rejected by your parents.

You are right I agree, but it is surprisingly hard to do. I was violated by the old man.. I did not tell him or any of the Ohio relatives about my engagement and I did not invite any of them to my wedding. It was clear that they did not respect or even like me and I sure did not want my wife to see that.

[blazeingstar]

You are right I agree, but it is surprisingly hard to do. I was violated by the old man.. I did not tell him or any of the Ohio relatives about my engagement and I did not invite any of them to my wedding. It was clear that they did not respect or even like me and I sure did not want my wife to see that.

 

 

This is a 2 way street. It IS hard to do.  But think of it as a burned down house.  There is nothing you CAN do.

 

This is a lot of animosity that goes far beyond this money.  What your wife doesn't need to see is you being angry, worked up and upset but under the guise of protecting her.  I promise you that if you married a woman with any common sense she could deal with other's attitudes.  What a good wife, any wife, wants to see is their man handling disappointment and frustrations well.  I'm lucky to have a FI that is very pragmatic and "so what".  I have a very complicated family life with people who often treat me not well..or love me for what I can do for them.  Staying away from those people when I can is one part of what helps him, the other is letting go when I can't and giving him permission to have his own feelings about the matter.  

 

I could simply "not allow" him to see interactions...but that would be not enabling him to help me in part of my life.  Don't carry out this burden on Phatmass or alone, let your wife be aware of how the uncles treat you.

 

Their is obviously an intense amount of pain in your extended family, and I can't imagine what the rejected brother has gone through...and how being the "black sheep" would act towards the golden child's children.

Edited November 14, 2013 by blazeingstar

[Norseman82]

religious guilt trips? are you a free mason, sounds like something they have seeded amongst the faithfull? No one has suggested his soul is in jeopardy.

 

I don't know if you're drunk, high, or whatever, but I do not appreciate your "free mason" comment.  If you took the time to read the posts, you would have seen that  I was referring to the following post (see the bolded part): 

 

This is most unjust, SCG, and I am someone who gets quite outraged at injustice. I am sorry that it happened to you. I do agree with Maggie, though, that for that sake of your soul, you should trust God that this is what was best for the moment and put the whole incident out of your mind. Hard, I know... But in the end, you will have peace.

 

I will pray for you.

 

And for anyone who has followed SCG here in the past year, please remember he is going through physical therapy for a physical injury - I don't remember if it was work-related or not or if he is receiving disability pay or workman's comp - but I am under the impression that he is not collecting an income.  He may actually need this money to get by until he is back to a steady income, so if he is legally entitled to it, I am not going to fault him for pursuing it.  Additionally, there may be other family members who may be shafted by this "executor".

 

Edited November 15, 2013 by Norseman82

[Norseman82]

I did not invite any of them to my wedding.

 

Whoa - when did THIS happen??  I don't recall you posting about this!

 

Tell us more..  :smile3:

[Norseman82]

SCG, the ultimate question would be the one I raised earlier:  are there others who are being shafted out of what they are legally entitled to?  If there are, then this becomes more serious - in fact, it could be criminal (depending on the jurisdiction). 

 

The other Uncle is a total sociopath. When my uncle was dying, he was too weak to even lift a glass and drink. The other Uncle was supposed to be helping. Instead he insisted that his brother was just going to have to learn how to drink by himself. Well he got super dehydrated and died...

 

This sounds like a case of elder abuse or neglect and, depending on the jurisdiction, could be cause for criminal charges, no matter how much money (or lack thereof) is in the estate. 

[southern california guy]

SCG, the ultimate question would be the one I raised earlier: are there others who are being shafted out of what they are legally entitled to? If there are, then this becomes more serious - in fact, it could be criminal (depending on the

Yes there are many other beneficiaries of the trust -- my mom, 3 other uncles, and 15 nieces and nephews. But their feelings are that we just need to be patient and eventually the trust will be settled.

Actually there has been bad behavior by many people and it seems to be some sort of a lesson about human nature. Blazeingstar absolutely nailed the rationalization that they are using.

The sad thing is that the Uncle who is a bit of a sociopath (not the one who stole the $2000) stole almost all of money -- and then put it into real estate that has gone belly up... I am not sure that there is much of any money left to fight for.

So nobody got rich and all that was really accomplished was a destruction of the family.

[southern california guy]

I don't know if you're drunk, high, or whatever, but I do not appreciate your "free mason" comment.  If you took the time to read the posts, you would have seen that  I was referring to the following post (see the bolded part): 

 

 

And for anyone who has followed SCG here in the past year, please remember he is going through physical therapy for a physical injury - I don't remember if it was work-related or not or if he is receiving disability pay or workman's comp - but I am under the impression that he is not collecting an income.  He may actually need this money to get by until he is back to a steady income, so if he is legally entitled to it, I am not going to fault him for pursuing it.  Additionally, there may be other family members who may be shafted by this "executor".

 

Yes I broke my right leg May 6 -- both the tibia and fibula.  My foot was literally dangling.  So I was off work for 5 months.  I did get workmans comp but it was not much -- I think it was 3/4 of what I normally get.  So the only real fantasies I had about the money were to pay some bills off with it..

 

And yes I did get married.  Norseman you can email me and I can show you pictures and tell you about it.