Lil'Nun Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 (edited) Hi Pham, No news yet from the VD of the congregation I am currently interested in. But I thought in the meantime I would run an idea I have been toying with past y'all. :) As you might know I am somewhat mature and because of that a lot of communities are not really going to look at me. Not feeling sorry for myself there, it's just a fact. You might also remember I look after an elderly family member (there is nobody else to do this so it's very relevant) and so I am not going to be free to enter immediately. But I am finding it very hard to find communities that I am attracted to, that are thriving, that I feel I have something I can offer to and who would consider me. I know they are out there but there are so many different convents it's hard to narrow it down. I had hoped to be able to find out about a few different congregations and get to know them so, when the time comes, I know where I am going and don't grow yet older while searching. I don't think that will happen though as so few communities seem to be open to that. Although it seems logical to me. So I have, on occasion, contemplated advertising in Catholic newspapers. Explaining my age, my spirituality, my skills etc. I could then see who contacts me and if any were a mutually good "fit". I wouldn't necessarily be doing this at this stage but probably further down the line if I had not found my "home". Is this a really, really dumb idea? Or just a slightly dumb idea? Communites advertise - is it wrong for a discerner to advertise? Really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this. Edited November 6, 2013 by Lil'Nun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inperpetuity Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 This is a very interesting idea, LN. I don't think it's dumb at all. If you do it, be sure to let us know what happens. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gabriela Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 Fascinating... It's like the religious version of single ads... I say do it and keep us up to date. At the very least, it'll be really interesting. :like: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brandelynmarie Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 Pray, pray, pray about it, asking the Holy Spirit to guide you as you write. :) This sounds intriguing to me as well...would you be willing to write a mock-up of it for us? (withholding any or all personal details) Perhaps this will become a letter that you will send out to different communities personally. :nunpray: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 While I think the idea has some possibilities, I'm also a little wary of it. Not because of the communities, but because there are some odd people out there.... Be sure to put a 'blind' contact on it -- care of a spiritual director, a PO box, an email... because you could get some weird replies. Just being cautious.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arfink Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 While I think the idea has some possibilities, I'm also a little wary of it. Not because of the communities, but because there are some odd people out there.... Be sure to put a 'blind' contact on it -- care of a spiritual director, a PO box, an email... because you could get some weird replies. Just being cautious.... This. Also, don't use your real name, your exact age, or any contact info that can be traced to you. Don't even give that information to the paper if you can help it. Seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maximillion Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 I think it is interesting as an idea too, with the provisos on caution and safety already given. However, I wonder, since this is unusual, if there are going to be any communities who will be looking in newspapers etc......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Nun Posted November 6, 2013 Author Share Posted November 6, 2013 Thanks for your thoughts. Maybe it's not such a dumb idea after all. I would, of course, use a PO box or similar. Maximillion, a lot of the communities I have visited with get the specialist Catholic Newspapers. So I would advertise in those. I might look into it and see how much it would cost. It would be a small ad. Just my name, my age - perhaps a year or two older, my educational qualifications and skills and most importantly my spirituality. The tricky thing is, at the moment, I am open to contemplative and apostolic. I think I would prefer apostolic but I can see the appeal and beauty of the cloister too. Contemplative prayer is important to me so that would have to be there. Stating that might be a work around. I can't afford it right now. But I will look into it. Are there any national Catholic newspapers in the US? I'm in Europe but would cross the pond for the right community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotreDame Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 If you are going to buy an ad and get a PO box you might as well set up a website and email as well. You could do this easily for free with blogger/gmail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 I hope this works well for you, Lil;Nun... but those ads are EXPENSIVE. I wonder if you might be able to get someone from your diocesan paper interested in running an ARTICLE on the subject.... and perhaps see if there is enough interest/response to that article to maybe set up a support group for older and/or delayed-by-necessity-but-I-am-coming vocations. Just judging from what we see on here, you are NOT the only person with this problem -- and I know of others. It could benefit the commumnities, too, because a lot of communities don't want the fuss of sponsoring a group, but would be open to having one (or people referred by one) to come to visit. They also are scared of 'older' vocations --this would be a chance to see you and get over some of those fears without any promises of commitment. Might be very attractive to communities.... Maybe such a group could plan monthly or bimonthly get-togethers either over coffee or for mass and/or evening prayer and a chat.... and you might find something like a secular order group or Serra club or KofC who would be willing to sponsor something like this. Perhaps even the diocese or a parish would be open to hosting the thing if they found there was interest.... It would also let you be a little more anonymous than running an ad would be -- and really, BE CAREFUL... there are a lot of crazies out there!!!! Just a thought.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil'Nun Posted November 6, 2013 Author Share Posted November 6, 2013 AnneLine I think that sounds like a very interesting idea. I am going to pray on it for a few days. I would like to do it, I just need to figure out how to do it. I'm in the UK and we don't have KoC or Sierra Club here - as far as I know. I need to do a little research and lot of praying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 I wonder if some of the British Phatmassers could help with this project.... we have some cloistered and non-cloistered nuns and I think some laity, discerning and like me, just people open to helping, who might be able to help generate some ideas. Feel free to PM me and maybe we can get some ideas going together.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneLine Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 Might also be something you could get your National Vocations' office involved in... Fr. Christopher Jamison's people. Seems to me they might be able to come up with some ideas... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhuturePriest Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 Hi Pham, No news yet from the VD of the congregation I am currently interested in. But I thought in the meantime I would run an idea I have been toying with past y'all. :) As you might know I am somewhat mature and because of that a lot of communities are not really going to look at me. Not feeling sorry for myself there, it's just a fact. You might also remember I look after an elderly family member (there is nobody else to do this so it's very relevant) and so I am not going to be free to enter immediately. But I am finding it very hard to find communities that I am attracted to, that are thriving, that I feel I have something I can offer to and who would consider me. I know they are out there but there are so many different convents it's hard to narrow it down. I had hoped to be able to find out about a few different congregations and get to know them so, when the time comes, I know where I am going and don't grow yet older while searching. I don't think that will happen though as so few communities seem to be open to that. Although it seems logical to me. So I have, on occasion, contemplated advertising in Catholic newspapers. Explaining my age, my spirituality, my skills etc. I could then see who contacts me and if any were a mutually good "fit". I wouldn't necessarily be doing this at this stage but probably further down the line if I had not found my "home". Is this a really, really dumb idea? Or just a slightly dumb idea? Communites advertise - is it wrong for a discerner to advertise? Really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this. I don't think it's a dumb idea at all. I've probably told you about them before, but, if you haven't looked at them, I highly recommend the Franciscan Sisters Minor in Fort Wayne, Indiana: http://www.franciscanbrothersminor.com/FBM/Issue_5.html They also have cloistered Nuns as well. They are incredibly traditional, and they have no age limit whatsoever. You just have to be at least seventeen, physically and mentally fit, and called. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyAnn Posted November 6, 2013 Share Posted November 6, 2013 I wonder if some of the British Phatmassers could help with this project.... we have some cloistered and non-cloistered nuns and I think some laity, discerning and like me, just people open to helping, who might be able to help generate some ideas. Feel free to PM me and maybe we can get some ideas going together.... I think it's a really good idea! I'd happily lend a hand, even if it doesn't apply to me. A friend of mine has some rather excellent contacts in religious communities here (how she does it, I don't know!) and I'm sure she would lend some of those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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