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Question To Parents


CrossCuT

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So I found this article about how a woman (who may or may not be a mother herself, the article is not specific) who said she will be handing out notes instead of candy to the kids who she believes are too overweight to be trick or treating:

 

8C9532816-2417481-halloween-letter.block

 

 

 

"I just want to send a message to the parents of kids that are really overweight," she said. "I think it's just really irresponsible of parents to send them out looking for free candy just 'cause all the other kids are doing it."

http://www.today.com/moms/swapping-letters-candy-trick-or-treat-8C11493000

 

 

This made me think...when is it acceptable for someone to step in and critique parenting?

So many people have so many ideas of what is good and bad parenting. When is it ok to say "Hey, you shouldnt be doing that" or "Hey, you should really try a little of xyz"

 

Is it ever ok?

Is it only ok with the child's safety and/or health are concerned?

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Not The Philosopher

I'm more bothered by the fact that she's giving candy to some kids and not others. That's gonna make a few kids feel singled out and hurt.

 

If she's so concerned about health, then she just shouldn't give out candy at all.

 

(I'm not a parent)

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I'm more bothered by the fact that she's giving candy to some kids and not others. That's gonna make a few kids feel singled out and hurt.

 

If she's so concerned about health, then she just shouldn't give out candy at all.

 

(I'm not a parent)

 

I think thats a good point.

But when does it cross the line? Is it her place to tell other parents to take better care of their children? As if they dont know?

Maybe some parents need the reminder?

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Who said Halloween is about being responsible? The whole point of a holiday is to have fun.

Edited by Era Might
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KnightofChrist

The lady is practically begging to have her house egged, and rolled, or have a little flaming bag of dog poo on her front door.

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PhuturePriest

If the parents are beating the child in public, speak up. In this situation, however, this lady is so far out of line I'm honestly baffled by it.

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Using a holiday as a device to berate children = bad.

 

The fact that in many cities children are suffering and even dying because of obesity (which apparently is higher in Michigan than other places) is frightening.

 

This could of been positive, but it was not.

 

What this woman did was cowardly.  She could of organized a "trunk-or-treat" with healthy snacks, limited candy and plenty of room to run around....something more than giving notes to kids.

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I think what this lady did was horrible. The more I thought about it the more I wished I could go to her house and burn every note she hands out to kids. I cant even imagine how the child might feel to be rejected candy while all the other kids around him/her are happily running from house to house. The child wont understand and they will feel hurt and isolated from everyone else.

 

But my question is...obesity IS a big deal...so is it ok for someone to interject and make a comment to a parent about how they are raising their child? Obviously this woman's actions are an example of how NOT to do it..but are there situations when its ok? And if so how do you address it?

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Is it ok for someone to interject a comment?

 

Thats tricky.  I don't think for questionaly obese kids, but I think when you get the morbidly obese kid who can't breathe or move comfortably then its time to step in.  Sometimes it's a medical issue and the parents are aware.  Sometimes it's a medical issue that the parents are in denial of.  Sometimes it's really poor parenting.

 

It is scarry that kids are dying and facing type 2 diabetes.  It is scary that doctors are now faced with blind children becuase of this, having to amputate 7 year old's feet due to diabetes.  Antibiotics are prescribed because of festering "bed sores" on toddlers who's fat flaps aren't properly cleaned.

 

My cousin is an OBGYN and said the hardest women are the obese ones because c-cetion flaps have so much fat that placed wrong they can literally crush internal organs.  In obese teen moms the risk is so great that it often takes 3-4 more physicians to deliver a child.  

 

In some places this has reached crisis mode.  Children don't fit in standard seats, they become unable to walk, speak clearly, or comfortably hold a pencil.

 

So, yes, there is need for people to speak out....parents need to know that being fat is not a way of life....that the child will learn to eat veggies if forced to.  I don't want to see any kid die of health related problems....and I do believe at some point massive, untreated obesity is child abuse.

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it is only ok to jump in if their is fear of physical or mental safety of the child.  if not, its not your child, so keep your dang mouth shut.  its not your child and more than likely you own child has their own issues, so focus on them.  anyone who chastises a child deserves to be slapped across the face.  then when asked why you did it.  say because your worried about my fat kid and I am worried about your ugly looks.  you gave my child a note saying he is fat in hopes of helping him  I decided to try and slap the ugly out of your face to help you.  then ask if they have anymore advice for your child because you certainly have more advice about them.  I imagine after that, this person would never give her advice to a child or parent again.

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Is it ok for someone to interject a comment?

 

Thats tricky.  I don't think for questionaly obese kids, but I think when you get the morbidly obese kid who can't breathe or move comfortably then its time to step in.  Sometimes it's a medical issue and the parents are aware.  Sometimes it's a medical issue that the parents are in denial of.  Sometimes it's really poor parenting.

 

It is scarry that kids are dying and facing type 2 diabetes.  It is scary that doctors are now faced with blind children becuase of this, having to amputate 7 year old's feet due to diabetes.  Antibiotics are prescribed because of festering "bed sores" on toddlers who's fat flaps aren't properly cleaned.

 

My cousin is an OBGYN and said the hardest women are the obese ones because c-cetion flaps have so much fat that placed wrong they can literally crush internal organs.  In obese teen moms the risk is so great that it often takes 3-4 more physicians to deliver a child.  

 

In some places this has reached crisis mode.  Children don't fit in standard seats, they become unable to walk, speak clearly, or comfortably hold a pencil.

 

So, yes, there is need for people to speak out....parents need to know that being fat is not a way of life....that the child will learn to eat veggies if forced to.  I don't want to see any kid die of health related problems....and I do believe at some point massive, untreated obesity is child abuse.

 

 

(not directed at you)

 

this is what I love about society.  we can call kids fat and chastise them for being fat and eating unhealthy but if this kid wants to have sex, get pregnant, have an abortion and then repeat... well who are we to step in any say anything to this child.  although if they are fat, lets make them feel horrible.  if they have an abortion, lets applaud them.  society is so messed up.

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I'm not totally opposed to people chastising Other People's Children. That used to be an ordinary part of American life. Kids used to run wild all day with their shoes off, but it was fine because even if Mom and Dad weren't in sight other grown folk were and you could catch it from them as easily as from mom and dad.

 

but kids don't fast on Halloween.

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it is only ok to jump in if their is fear of physical or mental safety of the child.  if not, its not your child, so keep your dang mouth shut.  its not your child and more than likely you own child has their own issues, so focus on them.  anyone who chastises a child deserves to be slapped across the face.  then when asked why you did it.  say because your worried about my fat kid and I am worried about your ugly looks.  you gave my child a note saying he is fat in hopes of helping him  I decided to try and slap the ugly out of your face to help you.  then ask if they have anymore advice for your child because you certainly have more advice about them.  I imagine after that, this person would never give her advice to a child or parent again.

 

Children usually become obese because the parents are overlooking healthy habits. Unfortunately those habits carry over into their adult life and end up being very detrimental.

I do not support what this woman has done with the notes, but I do want all children to lead happy healthy lives. I have never felt like I needed to say anything to parents in my day to day life because I feel like this situation is probably better addressed at a larger scale.

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Children usually become obese because the parents are overlooking healthy habits. Unfortunately those habits carry over into their adult life and end up being very detrimental.

I do not support what this woman has done with the notes, but I do want all children to lead happy healthy lives. I have never felt like I needed to say anything to parents in my day to day life because I feel like this situation is probably better addressed at a larger scale.

 

 

far more important than kids growing up obese is the fact kids have no self esteem these days because not only do they hear about their weight problems from other kids but now adults feel perfectly fine telling a little kid they are fat.  at no point should an adult ever berate a child for their weight, yet it is happening more and more in society today. 

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far more important than kids growing up obese is the fact kids have no self esteem these days because not only do they hear about their weight problems from other kids but now adults feel perfectly fine telling a little kid they are fat.  at no point should an adult ever berate a child for their weight, yet it is happening more and more in society today. 

 

I dont think anyone is supporting children being berated about their weight.

The whole point of this thread is to get thoughts on when is it acceptable to talk to the parents about it? Im guessing your answer is never?

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